30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

aries good luck for this morning.

(I've only scanned weekend posts - whatcha up to this morning that requires luck?)

Morning ladeez.

Sorry for the droid arrival one & all. Tis proper shit.

scorps you're nearly there with your SWI. You've done so well. Brave little soldier.

gin how's the tooth this morning? Are you in fact still alive after that many painkillers? Tis impressive stuff.

So, question of the day. How do you seductively & casually mention using Conceive Plus Lube when you're part way through SWI? Am nervous in case the boyf just hears "lube" & starts thinking wrong hole.

It did not go well last night. We were just starting, I mentioned using the "ahem, y'know "stuff" (Queen of dirty talking). So, boyf fumbled with tube in the dark, couldn't get lube out.

Tip: Remove the tricky little bit of foil covering hidden under the screw top beforehand.

The boyf ripped some of the foil off, leaving the tiniest bit left, which obviously still covered the tube opening, swore & threw the tube across the room.

Thankfully we still managed to get the bizniz done, but we were both sulking.

I took the rest of the tricky bastard foil off this morning so as not to have a repeat performance of last night. Lube is runnier than I thought & squirted all over my work trousers.

Tip-top!

Have also already had to step in between 2 hairy arsed seamen (phnar) having a row in the office this morning.

On a paper reading note - my dad had to work on a Sunday, just to unlock the bank as there were builders in. So he bought some newspapers to read. He likes his sport & wanted a comprehensive round up of Saturday sporting results.

He bought the Sunday Sport!

LAST POST OF THE NIGHT.

Mountie I think it would be an interesting experiment to put Cleggy in the Pit with Mitchell. I'd have a go

Oh and here's another reason why I do not relate to my MIL. When I went to visit my sister in That London, I was due to arrive in the evening in Brixton and she said something along the lines of "Watch you don't bump into people". When I enquired why I should do such a thing as I have excellent eyesight, she said "Well, you won't be able to see them in the dark."

Sorry, I'm cluster-posting.

Can everyone wish me luck for tomorrow morning? Just wish me luck!

Nah, wasn't really

I have odd in laws too, Scorps. They have never taken to me, because I like to talk about things other than celebrity culture and Dancing on Ice, to name one reason. I also have quite a short fuse with people I find ridiculous and I have lost my temper with MIL on a couple of occasions. They once went nearly two years without coming to see us, despite us going up there a few times. I think our major sin in their eyes is that we have no children. Their major sin in my eyes is that they are Daily Mail readers. My other main frustration with them is that they are both intelligent people and they completely waste their potential intellect and they have no interest whatsoever in other people. Conversation with them just grinds. And they have no interest in my family whatsoever, but I suppose they do live 200 miles apart and have no reason to meet.

On the other hand they can be weirdly, randomly generous. And after 10 years I am grudgingly fond of them. I suppose. After a fashion.

PIL rant over.

Actually I was really offended.

That does seem a bit odd, Scorp. I am incredibly lucky that both sets of parents get on really well, which makes Christmas etc much easier.

Noooo. They're fake tanning the redhead! Leave the redhead alone! We don't want to tan. Redheads should be pale.

I am watching a programme called Toddlers and Tiaras, about pageants. I am getting really quite judgey about the whole thing. But also cackling at the woman who says "I'm not a pageant mom, I have a background in child pyschology" while she gets fake teeth for her daughter.

No, there I am being judgey again. But she's this adorable little redhaired girl, and she doesn't need hairpieces or fake teeth.

And oh my god no they're fake tanning these 6 year olds. Aaaargh.

I read a range of publications but I'm not a daily paper reader. When I do get them, it's either the Independent, Observer or the Guardian or even the Times depending on the front cover and what's been happening in the world of sport recently. So, like the LibDems, neither one nor t'other but somewhere in between

Another hand up to being a Guardian reader. Well, I buy it on a Saturday and it takes me all week to read it, does that count? No idea what MIL reads, FIL reads the FT and the P and J which has no concept of news south of Dundee.

I haven't had to think about giving up caffeinated things for TTC cos I don't drink any of them to start with. Chocolate is necessary for life and so doesn't count as caffeine! Am drinking less alcohol but haven't cut it out completely, although we don't drink masses to start with, not that you'd think it if you asked MIL who thinks all her children and anyone associated with them are alcoholics .

Ok biashes! I am leaving da library! No more boring talk of coffee, food and what haveya! Byproduct of being in a library. What a geeeeeeeek! I am jumping into the pit for a little warm up with Mitchell. Coming up to SWI time and I think I may just start tonight! I am sure you all wanted to know that . Sorry Scorp I know you don't want to hear of my adventures, but your time is coming soon! (I almost fear for your toyboy.)

Come on man! CH is meant to pick me up so we can use what we have left of Sunday. Never mind, I'll harass Mitchell in the meantime. Would it be too perverse if we put Cleggy in the pit with Mitchell?

I wants cake. I should really eat healthier, a bit off the wagon due to exams. Talking of Ruagdian, hubby joined their health club. Let's see how that works out. Oh yes: Guardian reader hand up. As I write. Though more relating research at the mo. MIL Torygraph reader. (I thought as you mentioned yours I'd mention mine!)

we're having a dry week, and it is also SWI time shortly, so probably not a bad idea. I've been on predominantly decaff (when at work) for the last year or so.

I think it would be too easy going insane trying to do everything you're supposed to. Everything in moderation.

With that in mind I am having a large slice of cake and watching Pineapple Dance Studios.

AFternoon ladies.

I too like the stick-on heat pads for mild period pain; thankfully, it's been a long time since the debitilitating, day-off-a-month stuff that I used to get.

Just out of interest, how many of us are Guardian readers?

My MIL claims she only reads the Daily Mail for the TV guide, I dont' think she realises it is right wing, which frankly terrifies me. We're contemplating getting them a subscription to the Radio TIme so she no longer has an excuse to the buy the DM.

Musical, I think you are right. I find that the longer this TTC malarchy lasts the more I think I should do this or that, but the fact is that superfertiles around me just get diffed on sex drugs and rock n' roll. Given I ain't even all that bad on my health, apart from (shock, horror) coffee, I really do not think this is an underlying cause. Though what do I know. Need to loose some weight, though a colleague is sitting next to me with a bagfull of Revels.

PerfectDrone it is funny when you look at the London map: tory circle around the labour core, apart from that spike coming in from the West. Labour slaughtered LibDems in our constituency. When is ivf so I can clench fists in unison with poisonous? PoisonTail thanks for hangin' in the library and good luck with da cam. I am going to see a really unpleasant GP re. jizz results tomorrow morning and the referral to the FC. Will letya all know how it goes.

I think I am going to gradually give up coffee. I have already kinda given up the booze as it seems to give me an instant migraine... and I have exams coming up.

Arial ha, ha re. Cleggy. Well, he is in an unenviable position. I soooooo hope Vincy is part of the government. (Tis his B-Day today - who's the bigger stalker now!?)

funny

Some of the questions, also, are funny.

Anyone else fucking sick of BBC News 24 and yet unable to stop watching?

Am too hungover to type much (that answers an earlier question about what folk have given up when TTC) but have read all and deliver tender pinches to the upper arm all round.

Poor horny Scorps. But 9 days! You're nearly there. Weirdly in 9 days I get to shag without a condom. Woot! Not that it will result in any baybees until next cycle, but ditching the rubber is a lovely thought.

When are you having dildocam, spiky?