30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

Mmm, dust. Well the last slice of chocolate cake is a week old now, it's probably a bit dusty even with the being covered. Still good though.

Come here for a grope EmoBand (tenuous, I know!) never mind FatFighters, just stay at home and eat dust on your own...at least it wont cost you owt!

Oh dears. I just did blurty menkulness at Fattys R Us. Have not been very successful and was trying to explain in a non-direct fashion why that might be. The leader woman didn't really get it and said some stuff about "there'll always be something". And then I did the whole blurty thing. Ooops.

Am not sure group weight loss is really for me at the moment.

I don;t think anyone really knows what they are doing - which feels rather like my day today.

Gah, I'm finding this Polly Ticks stuff infuriating. My heart yearns for a lib/lab pact for all the obvious reasons, not the least of which is keeping that vile soft-faced Bolly-swigging yacht-fucking Eton catamite Osborne out of number 11. But then there'd be instability which would be disastrous for the markets, and a second successive unelected PM, and they haven't promised a referendum on electoral reform, and however much I'd like to heave the entire Tory party into the Regent's Canal they did get the greatest proportion of the votes, and so having a coalition of the losers seems to an ignoramus like me to make something of a mockery of the Election. I think I am going to just think about kittens and cupcakes and leave all this difficult stuff to the men, to debate over their port and cigars...

Exciting stuff!!!!!!!!! Gordon is to go and Nick's starting discussions with Labour (when we allow him out of the pit that is). We may get our wish after all.

Gordon - you have done the right thing.

Camel, I'm now anxious to know how old you are if you were told you were very young. I want to know how young I am! Hooray for the non-mutantness!

Scorper I was talking about your IL's earlier (just in case you thought I was comparing my MIL to your family). Can you give me tips? How do you maintain that jolly freaky love? That's how me and my hubby are, but both of our families are weird in v. different ways.

Perfection I pretty much told the GP the same: certain members of the press are responsible for all that scaremongering! She thought I was nice and early for even thinking of trying now. Daily Hate et al. should not be allowed to scaremonger like that! (About all sort of stuff.) Please forgive me, but what and why were the mutant tests? I seem to have missed that bit.

Cho good news re. session. I'll be thinking of you. Unless I get muddled again like I seem to have done with ThePerfectOne. CSSRL I am amazed at your efficiency! Here I am trying to do some work the whole day and it ain't happening!

Info session is progress? Do you have any idea how long it takes to progress from that to treatment? (weeks? months? am hoping it's the weeks end of things)

HugeLaurie Re. lube...if you are only using the goop for it's super diff-inducing qualities, rather than the need to lube up - then why not shove it up there afterwards...otherwise it can be so slippery that it's hard to get 'purchase', so to speak.

Good news, PerfectDayImGladISpentItWith You TNB can now go back to swaggering round like he's Cock'o'the walk again!

Just posted elsewhere that following recent SWI-ng, the song that acarried us through the post-coital haze was called 'Implantation'...that's gots to means something, tell me it's so!

Latest update re. me is that I am booked onto IVF info session on 26th May, although no date for actual treatment yet, but nevermind, eh?

Pencil tis all perfectly possible, thanks to the wonders of Gina Ford-style routines and Cbeebies. Did 2 hours study at lunch today whilst minicaz slept, will do another 2 tonight when he goes to bed. Tis all doable.

Going to GP on Thurs, going to ask for initial blood tests. Only been 9 months but going to lie about that, seeing as it's been 9 months of shag every viable day and piss on sticks every other type menkulness.

Not much else to say. Chanelling Gary Barlow:
Said it all, nothing to say at all, nothing to say that matters.......

Hooray for non-mutantness!

Fairy Was also told that am very young . Is amazing that the Daily Hate is determined to convince us that we have left it all too late and are barren and selfish and hateful, then when you actually get into the hands of the medics it turns out none of that is true. What were the numbers like?

Hurrah! TNB's am-I-a-mutant? tests are back, and it turns out that he isn't! First good news of this whole bastard process. Pliz to join me in a Dance of Joy.

Controversially, I believe very firmly in national types, having lived abroad for 6 months somewhere as different as different can be, and been confounded and confuzzled by the grillions of ways we misunderstood each other at every turn. Anyone who thinks there's absolutely no such thing as national character whatsoever ain't terribly well travelled. And anyone that thinks that's a bad thing is a maniac . Variety & diversity keeps the world turning, in my HUMBLEST of opinions...

Hurrah for youngery! Glad all was generally OK, also. I agree re. right-timeness and sometimes think having liberty to exercise control over our reproductory shenanigans is of course good and wondrous but does throw up a whole new set of challenges...

Well, headster as it's turning out that we are nothing like one-shag-and-voila! I am starting to be a believer in 'it's never a right time', though it used to annoy the shit out of me when people told me that years ago. I guess thruthfully it is more of a right time for us than it has ever been. Though I could always think of reasons to wait.

On the plus side the GP told me this morning I am very young . Should report on that but do not feel like it. Generally ok, though we are off to the FC. Any experience with UCL anyone?

Thanks for not taking it badly Banger. Well, I do not really believe in stereotypes (Better clear that up before I start sounding like people's IL's!), but I have been known to stereotype when it comes to MIL. Maybe IL's bring out the worst in people? Well, I am sure our ickle potential offspring will be nice an confuzzled.

I shall take that consolation Cassaeopiea (and no I am NOT going to look that up). I thought of you last night as I woke up at 3am sweating about whether planning to have a baby whilst studying was as insane as it seems. Yes! Comes the glad reply. Oh well! You're my role model.

Mountie we British do tend towards the chill, so don't fret about stereotyping. I mean not all of us it must be said. And not chill exactly. I for one will smother folk in hugs and kisses, but it is almost impossible to get me to admit to being upset or cross about something. The idea of falling out with someone seems to me to the height of vulgar display. I will suffer years and years of silent loathing for someone rather than risk an argument. It's VERY healthy I'm sure

As to tests - just having the basic MOT. Had my Day 2 bloods, got my dildocam coming up, all that.

Oooh, I like ... I some more votes on Mitchell/Cleggie sarnie down in the pit. That's it. I am pushing Cleggster down there. I am sure it's a better position than the one he is currently in! Ma'swearer I know what you mean by oily but come on! As much as DC?? That is where I draw my line. Otherwise, I know I have a dirty tendency towards public school boys (or preppy boys, depending where you come from) in European suits. I have been teased about this. And must point out CH is nothing of the sort. Go figure.
Banger, what stage of tests are you at?

Well, I guess my MIL is generally ok. Though me mum would like more family-like contact, but MIL is a bit like scorp's in terms of emotion display. Including her own children. I always blamed it on her Englishness, but I may be sterotyping . Am I? Tell me there is hope my Englishman won't turn into an emotionless iceberg with any potential offspring! I am teasing. He is very soppy actually. Opposite of his mum.

Just a quick morning all.

Laying a bit low this week - got another exam so need to be studying, plus am generally trying not to think (fullstop) so am just keeping busy (such well turned out cupboards I have now) and hence not posting loads.

Headster if it's any consolation my implantation bleeding was later than that, so might just be droid mindal fuckage. Is that consoling? I have no idea. Hope a bit so anyway.

Am jealous of Scorps night. That NEVER happens to me!

Massive massive luck to CapricornOne

Nah Score, I don't fink so (though would love to hope so). It was about 6 days after ovulation, and methinks it too much of a coincidence that when there was a lot of shagging around optimum shagging conditions there was also le spottage...

Still. I shall be British about it, ie, suppress my feelings and pretend it isn't happening until I one day have a breakdown in the Marks & Spencer's knicker aisle and have to be led shrieking into the manager's office for a cup of tea and a Valium

Ah yes, sleepy orgasms. And never about appropriate folk...

Oh yes, am terrified mas.

In fact I once dreamt that someone made a film out of our freds, & journos were trying to find out the real life people it was based on. So called friends said "well such-&-such sounds like my friend laurie".

However, we all came round to the idea & had a big BESH meet on the red carpet

G'Luck for this morning Aries luvva. Should I know what the lucks are for?

My ILs are perfectly nice, and they get on well with my aged Ps, but my MIL is the most spectacularly silly woman I have ever met. It's not stupidity, it's SILLINESS, which is both less awful and awfuller than anything else in the whole world. I cannot be with them longer than 48 hours at a stretch, and even that is a trial. However, this may be in part because I am a right caah.

Both (devoutly Christian) ILs and Ps read either nothing or the Torygraph or the Daily Heil. I despair and on the rare occasions when my Ps are prepared to have a proper conversation (which, incidentally, is NEVER over fucking dinner, which is another story of pain and frustration)I end up yelling things like "Jesus was a Socalist!" and "Have you never heard of the Earl of Shaftesbury, numb-nuts?", and so on, which never gets me anywhere, oddly.

In other, more gussetly news: the mid-cycle spotting I have had the last two months has not appeared this month. This month we only managed to SWI the once, and so conception was unlikely. The previous two months we SWI'd a lot. This leads me to suspect the spotting was implantation bleeds followed by mmcs. However, I'm not DWELLING, as I have all the tests going on etc., so no use trying to second-guess it all.

Meanwhile I have a) an academic deadline, b)working deadlines, c) a wedding speech to write, and d) career-change shenanigans to panic about, so my mind ain't on things baybee-related, as they ought to be. Intend to get on it with renewed vigour next cycle.

Am chortling at Lorry's lube-licious anecdotery!

People - fancying Nick Clegg is WRONG! Wrong, d'ya hear?! He's nearly as oily looking as DC and he seems to be doing his damnedest to get the Tories into power. Ugh.

Parents and in-laws are all Daily Mail readers. Why? Why doesn't everyone see it for the racist misogynist wank it is? My mum claims she only gets it for the puzzles - I have offered to buy her a big crossword book and burn the DM but to no avail Otherwise in-laws are luvverly (is no-one else terrified of getting found on here one day and having all their posts read out over Christmas dinner or something )