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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after a Miscarriage - Keep Trying!!!!

738 replies

Diddle · 27/07/2005 15:15

Well ladies, its about time we had a new thread, the old one is getting very long. Plus I think we need another fresh start, with lots of positive babydust:

.,'-.,'-.,'-',. .,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'-.,'-',. .,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'-.,'-',. .,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'- .,'-.,'-.,'-',. .,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'-.,' .,'-.,'-.,'-',..,'-.,'-.,' .,'-.,'-.,'-',.

Get a big handful girls, i think we all need it.
I was trying to think of something great and positive to put, but this TTC lark is getting us all down, i'm fed up of trying, but we will all succeed eventually, our times will come.

It will be much better for our little ones to have a good start when our bodies are truly ready to carry them.

OP posts:
spub · 16/08/2005 12:30

Blimey LS.
I dunno how you managed to keep going but I'm very happy that you did and I hope it happens for you again this time.

LunarSea · 16/08/2005 12:26

cori - I'd love to be able to say 35 and 8 months last time round. I'm 39 (not for off the next one either), and last time was 32 months (previously 18 months and 30 months).

spub · 16/08/2005 12:13

oh noooooooooooooo! (runs screaming from the room)
I so hope I get my smiley face soon. Not sure I could get my head around it if it turned out I wasn't ovulating. I did conceive dd month 2 and conceived my wee lost one month one in April so I'm hopeful but then I suppose things can change and you can go from being a regular ovulator to having difficulties. Would a m/c "contribute" to ov difficulties, do you think?

cori · 16/08/2005 12:08

Spub, having CM is not a definite sign that you are about to ovulate, though it is an indicator that you are probably about too. It also possible to have several patches of CM in a month.

cori · 16/08/2005 12:05

Wishingchair, I had never heard of OV pains until recently. I think if you are having a pain that must be the egg being released hence ovulation. DOnt quote me on that though.

spub · 16/08/2005 12:04

What about slippy clear CM??
Is that a surefire indicator that you are ovulating?

cori · 16/08/2005 12:02

Diddle
You have to be really careful about taking temps at the correct times otherwise it can be a inacurate. You got pregnant quite quickly in the past though didnt you? , and you are quite young. So you are probably ovulating regulary,no need to be obsessed.

On the other hand I am 35 and last pregnancy took 8 months so I need to be a little more aware, the clock is ticking loudly...

wishingchair · 16/08/2005 11:52

So cori (you've become our ov expert!) ... I usually get pain around the time of ov so have always assumed I have actually ov'd ... do you know if this could be just cos ovaries are stimulated and not necessarily released an egg?

This puts a whole new dimension on it doesn't it. Don't want to start charting either ... as know obsession level will skyrocket.

Original poster
Diddle · 16/08/2005 11:46

cori, yes used it one month, then went to use it again and i noted my progress on the chart but it didn't show any predicted ov or af time, so thought i must have buggered it up somewhere. might try it again now youve reminded me though.
Trying not to be too obsessed with it, and if i start charting again, it might be on my mnd too much, I think my own tension could have quite an effect on my success.

OP posts:
spub · 16/08/2005 11:35

oh feck. If I have no luck this month then it's the fecking chart and the digi thermometer then!
Does the, ahem correct CM not give you any clues or is that no guarantee either?

LunarSea · 16/08/2005 11:35

spub - the 14 days before AF is just an average, so it's quite possible that you are OVing, just later or earlier than average. As long as it's at least 10 days before AF that's ok, if it's later then it can be a problem.

cori · 16/08/2005 11:30

Welcome Baggybear. We all a bit mad and slightly obsessed on this thread. You are most welcome if you fit that criteria. ( if your not then just give it time, you probably will be )

Diddle, OPKs arent fool proof either. They measure LM hormone which stimulates the release of the egg from the ovary (thinking really hard here) but there is no guarentee that the egg will be released.
Do you use fertility friend ?

wishingchair · 16/08/2005 11:21

I've felt like that too when chatting with others who've lost much later than me and they've been so kind and supportive despite what they're going through. But a loss is a loss and one of the hardest things to come to terms with is the re-adjustment in your mind of what your future life is going to be like. Realising my dd would not be 2.5 but more like 3.5 when another one (hopefully) arrives, that I'd be at work for another year, that the holiday we'd planned to take account of the fact I'd be heavily pg wouldn't be the same, etc. And you can do a lot of dreaming in 3 weeks!

I agree in so many ways already having children makes it easier - they keep you going and smiling - but also you know what this little baby would have become and that makes it hard.

Certainly not a fraud! It's like when you're feeling down about something and someone says "ahh but there's always someone worse off than you ... think of the starving people in Africa". Yes that's awful but doesn't make what you're facing right now any easier to bear. We'll get through it though!

Original poster
Diddle · 16/08/2005 11:16

neither had i spub, will be keeping a close eye on it myself next month.

OP posts:
spub · 16/08/2005 11:14

Cori and Diddle,
I will keep checking over the next few days just to make sure that ov does in fact happen! Had never considered that it might not....

Original poster
Diddle · 16/08/2005 11:13

For those newbies who aren't already on the stats thread, here is a link to it:

TTC after M/c Stats

Here you can add a few details for us all to see a bit about you, and it helps to have something to refer to when talking to each other, like where in the country we are, and how many children we alreayd have etc. take a look.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diddle · 16/08/2005 11:10

welcome baggybear, glad you decided to join us, again i'm so sorry for your loss, and yes we are all here to love and support you as much as you want us to. None of us are luckier than the other, we have all been through the same thing, and having children already or not makes no difference, we have all lost our child/children, please don't feel like a fraud you have as much right as anyone of us to be here.
Give yourself plenty of time to grieve, it will never go away but i can honestly say it gets easier.

Cori - Thanks for the Af and OV description, you're right, had totally forgotten my biology. Its all clear now. Makes me wonder if i should use OV tests next month, just to be sure.

Wishingchair - sorry Af has turned up, so inconsiderate isnt she . You sound ok though. Your body is obviously waiting till it is in tip top condition before letting your beanie hang on. Which isn't a bad thing just annoying when we are all so impatient.

OP posts:
spub · 16/08/2005 10:53

Hi Baggy,
Welcome to our happy (ish, mostly) gang of ttc campers.
Sorry to hear about your loss. My m/c was also at 7 weeks and I was really looking forward to having a brother or sister for my dd (2.7). The good thing about this thread is that no one is "judgemental" about anyone else's right to grieve or to want to get pregnant again regardless of whether or not you already have children and regardless of how many if you do. A lost baby is a lost baby and that's the one thing we can all relate to.

baggybear · 16/08/2005 10:28

Thanks wishingchair. I hope I'm welcome here because I can't help but think of those of you that have lost babies at a later stage than me, and who don't have children already. I almost feel like a fraud. I am one of the lucky ones and I'm aware of that.

I have been perusing this thread for a little while and know that some of you are eagerly waiting for the end of the month. I wish you all the very best of luck and hope we get to see positive outcomes

wishingchair · 16/08/2005 10:18

Hi baggybear - so sorry this has happened to you. Everyone here can appreciate what you're going through ... some already have children some don't, but all have m/c and are now facing ttc again. A scary prospect!

I have a DD (2 and a half) and lost my little one in Feb at 19 weeks, although he died at around 16 weeks. I've only been ttc again for the last 2 months ... only now do I feel ready to face it all again and feel positive about it.

You're right - the grief doesn't go away but you learn to live with it. Looking forward to get to know you and hopefully we'll all get to share some happy news!

baggybear · 16/08/2005 10:13

Hi everyone! Let me introduce myself if you don't know me already. I have 3 ds's (6, 5 and 2) , all healthy pregnancies, then last week I miscarried at 7 weeks. Was devestated - didn't think that would ever happen to me (stupid, I know ). I have been posting on MC threads, bu thtink I should start to move on from there now. I'm still heartbroken and greiving for the baby I lost, and I don't think that will ever go away, but I feel I should try and be positive now.

I would love to try again for another baby, not yet as it is way too soon, but definately by the end of the year. I am scared, frightened it will happen again, but I keep telling myself that I can carry a baby to term and there is no reason I can't again.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I will be around now, and after reading some of this thread, I know I'll get lots of support and love from you.

wishingchair · 16/08/2005 10:08

Morning everyone - no need to test for me. AF arrived this morning. FFS - what do you need to do around here to get preggers??!!!

OK I know the answer but good grief. And OK I know I've only been at it for 2 months and it always took longer in the past, and yes DH was away for most of the right time this month, but you'd think one sneaky little swimmer would find its way! Are they blind???!!!

Am going to get some ov tests today - will keep them hidden from dh as he has an aversion to the 'weeing on sticks' variety of babymaking - but enough is enough.

But then I suppose I'm in no rush (god I sound mental today), watched Paul McKenna last night and a lady on there was pg and had a 6/7 year old DD and I thought it was so nice as she'd had all that time with DD and now she could also really enjoy her baby.

Guess it'll happen when the time is right.

Good luck to everyone else. SOMEONE has to have success this month

Anyone heard how Shelly's doing?

cori · 16/08/2005 09:50

You can have A/F without ovulating.
A/F is the lining of the uterus coming away. The uterus prepares itself for possible implantation whether OV occurs or not. Many women with infertility problems have regular periods but may not be OV regulary. As FF tells us taking temps is the only way to confirm whether OV has occurred.

Thats my understanding anyway...

Original poster
Diddle · 16/08/2005 09:18

how can you get AF without OV, when AF is caused by the eggs?? I am confused now.

Lunarsea - Excellent news about changing GP' lets hope they refer you straight away.

Spub, will do a bit of investigating for you.

OP posts:
spub · 16/08/2005 09:08

Oh kack. I had a hunch that might be the case. I will keep testing over the next few days. It's just that since my m/c the 2 AF's that I have had have been 28 day cycles so it seemed pretty sensible to assume I'd ovulate 14 days after the start of AF.
I'll keep testing over the next few days and hopefully get the smiley face.
As I like to be prepared for the "worst" - what happens if I don't get the ov surge?
Does anyone know how you'd broach this with your GP and what would happen next?
Am probably over-reacting and will post tomorrow with a smiley but you guys know everything so I thought I'd just ask!

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