Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome.

cheepzy you're not a lunatic... (well maybe a bit of a one.... ). Meant to say to one of your earlier posts about not TTC/or being pg at the moment, and how enjoyable it was. Not obsessively remembering what day it is, agonising over which days to SWI, then agonising over whether you got the right days, have you missed it this month, then you get that BFP and have a millisecond of euphoria and then you start worrying about anything and everything that can go wrong, every twinge, emission, symptom real, exaggerated and imagined.......... jesus it's no wonder we're ALL lunatics. Agree with you it's nice to just "be" for a bit. And much though I want another child I refuse to be eaten up in the whole process of getting there, and not enjoy the one I've got and the life I have. As my old boss Anita Roddick used to say... Life's not a fucking dress rehearsal....

Morning to all - must get some chores done before DS's 2nd settling in at nursery.

x

evening all, gosh a lot of chat since I was on last, don't think I can catch up with it all.

Happygirl, so pleased to see you got a better result with the latest test. Just one more day to get through before you get to your appointment, keep calm (and carry on )

Oh no digitalgirl really sorry to see you here. You and Nbelle were on the same a/n thread as me, and I remember you from the buses too. I'm stupidly upset at seeing you both going through this as well, I think I'd made some sort of rationalisation that it would be ok for me to MC if that meant no one else on that list did. Stupid bargaining. God it's so unfair though.

BUndertheBonnet you're familiar to me too, a MC away from home must have been very difficult to go through. I understand the desire to be pregnant again straight away, I feel it too. For me the thing that is making me want to wait until I've had a period is not to make it easier to date etc, but because I'm not sure how I'll cope either with the prospect of another miscarriage straight away, or not getting pg straight away. Somehow I've got it in my head that getting pregnant immediately is the only option for me right now...and seeing it took a while last time, I know that's not guaranteed.

WestYorkshireGirl why would you go back to using precautions once you're pregnant. Am confused . Surely when you're pregnant that's a great time not to use anything? Or have I misunderstood you?

I had first day back at work today. Was dreading it all yesterday and nearly didn't, but I'm glad I went in, the day went quickly and I had a good mix of head down concentrating work and meetings which forced me to talk to people and behave like a normal person.
I think my hormones are starting to crash though, I feel a bit like I'm falling into the blues, get teary very quickly (just have to mentally rehearse the wrong phrase and it's all over), and just feel very on edge. I should go to bed, really. A bit more sleep might do wonders.

Allthe8s, chocolate cake is wonderful. Cures all ills. nom nom nom.

and finally Malteser - congratulations on the BFP and I really hope you're mistaken about the twinges, fingers crossed

wow. lots to try and remember to comment on, here goes ...

nbelle that is utterly shite and I feel for you so very much with the added complications of IVF in the mix the frustration and disappointment must be trebled so thinking of you

moo my 1st cycle on CBFM had 3 high before peak, but some have no peak first cycle, and this 'cycle' (although post ERPC so all f*cked up) I went from zero to peak overnight! that being said last time around got pregnant on 2 of the 4 cycles I used it, miscarried both times but it helped me get pregnant after 7 cycles post first mc where i didn't concieve at all so i am a believer!

digital like jollster i am ttc number 2 and felt better after second mc because had begun to wonder if i could get pregnant, now after third i feel positively chilled?!?!?! but I think as time goes on after the initial mc you adjust to dealing with the fact that its just not going to be plain sailing for you, and find a way to live with that, if you rage against it it will only make you miserable so you have to find some way to move on, support here when needed xx

malteser my extensive research into mc and what you can do to improve you odds shows that getting lots of ante natal support and counselling and early reassurance scans can improve your odds of not having another mc (in my case after recurrent mc post first child odds of next pregnancy ending in mc 60 - 70% but research shows improves to 86% if I get ante natal support and reassurance - so get you to a doctor and demand an early mw appointment and scan and find as much support as you can get.

hippy the whole process can get to be too much and reading the forums can start to make you fret about things that might never happen, i used to think that when people came back from the grads thread - like shit that could happen to me, and then it did and the reality is you deal with it and move on - its going to happen whether you read the thread or not and for me the support here far outweighs the negative, my DH would be horrified if I stopped posting as then I would want to talk to him about ttc and mucus and ovulation and 2ww and i think he would rather roast his own head in goose fat!? However I can certainly sympathise and you have to do whatever is best for you so best of luck and be lucky

glb grads are lovely they will be very warm - get yee over there and give the girls my best

so for me have decided not to take any chances this weekend so there will be no S W or WO I but there might be some naughty non pen hanky panky instead - that will take us back a ways!! With trying to sell the house, interviewing for a new job and wanting to wait one cycle post erpc as per doctors advice I really really don't want to get pregnant again this month and sods law says I will if I really don't want to so no shagging at all!

I have read a few times people mention about no baby this year, earliest could have baby would be x date, I have found it easier to think about how soon I could be pregnant rather than how long before I have a baby. I f I work it out from now - 1 month to get over erpc makes it late May, assume 3 cycles to get pregnant makes it August,add the pregnancy and thats next May before I would have a baby - but I would be pregnant in August and thats not too far off!! Also will only be 37 in August (just) as oppose to well into 38 come next May - just helps not to be looking at targets too far ahead maybe? ignore me if I am being a lunatic

right off to write my blog so MIL knows what me DH and DS have been upto and doesn't call for an update at inconvenient time!!

love to all

Clare I just cheated and peed on an OPK (there were some lying about from before, I didn't go out any buy some to pee on inbetween peeing on CBFM sticks, I swear!).

Anyhow, a huge BFP!! I wonder if the monitor will say peak tomorrow - I'm a bit concerned I would have missed that had I not had a stash of OPKs (and and obsessive compulsion to pee on everything - did someone mention peeing on spuds a few days back?)

Hi NBelle that's particularly tough after going through IVF. Got close friends going through IVF and can only imagine how devastating it must be to have taken so much to get there only to lose your bean now. Take care and have all the red wine you need x

phew! lots to catch up on!

prettymrsg - tis a pretty pickle - hope the docs give you the green light

cheepz - glad you had a lovely weekend and are feeling good- a bit of a break from ttc sounds like it's doing you good, CBFM peak can go from nothing to peak in one day (i did read it in the instructions) and normally means ov in 24 - 36 hrs afterwards. have a wonderful weekend away - if you want to be doubly sure you don't concieve there are things you could consider, but you may not want to muck about your body any more?

GLB - totally understand if you want to move over to grads - but come back and see us sometimes! Want to know how you're doing. Try to stay positive and remember that aches are normal when you're PG, not necessarily a bad sign

littlemiss happy moving in day - hope DP is behaving himeself in your new home together, glad you are feeling OK

viv oh viv... what a start to the day... did make me laugh though - whoever says PR is glamorous needs shooting!

happy glad things are looking more positive, norovirus is still doing the rounds? push for a scan x

bunny WYG wannabe and Allthe8s and anyone else on the 2ww - good luck! it's not over until the RTD arrives...

red a sad but good day for you - take your time, there's really no race to get pg (although it feels like that at times after an mc)

muser jollster and gi1da big wave!

digitalgirl Bunderthebonnet NBelle so sorry you've found yourself here, hope we can help you through the grieving process as you try to come to terms with things.

malteser - BFP - good news - try to think positive, it's the only way x

hippy sorry RTD got you, it's so frustrating, understand your need to distance yourself, but remember if you do need to chat we'll be here - good luck x

moo i've had 6 DAYS of high so far and no peak - according to instructions this can be normal with a long cycle. got first high earlier than I would have thought in cycle, so there's still time for a peak....

Hi digital
I've had 2 on the trot TTC#2, so know how you feel. Actually I strangely felt less upset about no2 than I did first time round. But echo your "it's all just shit" feeling.

Welcome also bunderthebonnet and nbelle. Sorry you're here, hope you're getting lots of RL support.

Quick wave to everyone; shattered as trying to get house ready to go on the market, plus had DS first settling in session at nursery today which fortunately went really well. So time for bed said zzzzzzzzzzzzzzebedee xx

Thanks for the welcome ladies, and so sorry to see you here too BUnderthebonnet.

Hi NBelle, gawd this making babies business is tricky. Do you know how long it'll take for you to get another IVF round?

Am self-medicating with a glass of red wine. Cramping doesn't seem so bad at the moment, but bleeding has definitely gone up a notch since this morning.

In the hospital, as reality dawned on me I was already mentally counting out the earliest I could next expect to be due. Was thinking 'well I heard March babies are quite nice'. And to buffer the blow 'and I suppose I might be able to get away without the expense of a double buggy' (DS is 19mo). I really should just focus on getting through this and not thinking too much about ttc again. DH seems happy to try again though. I do wonder how many times I can put myself through this though.

The worst bit about today was typing out the emails to the two companies I'm freelancing for at the moment and telling them. Felt it was just easier to be honest, then there'd be no finger wagging at how much I've inconvenienced them.

digitalgirl bunderbonnet nbelle sorry you have had to join us, but as others say, we are a nice bunch.

Hi

Can i join in?

Found out on Friday at an early scan (8w2d) that it was only a sac and no baby had developed.

We have been ttc for two years and had just completed out first cycle of IVF and were so delighted so this has been a double hit as we now also have to wait to go through another fertility process.

Sometimes life is just plain shit.

Sorry to see you here Digitalgirl I was on the same November bus as you, wish it would have worked out for you.

I will try and catch up on the thread.

Waves to BUnderTheBonnet and DigitalGirl DigitalG so sorry this has happened twice for you. That really sucks.

BUnderBonnet too, holy moly, being abroad must add an extra surreal angle to the whole crapfest.

Welcome both to the thread that no one wants to be on, but we're all grateful for nonetheless.

Viv hope the rest if your day picked up after lattegate. Did DH have to break out of the house?

Happy SO VERY pleased to hear that everything is fine. Please have a very boring next 8 months.

Hippy totally understand but please do visit.

Waves to all, sorry v brief, on iPod so suffering micro screen burn!

I was out having a social life for a change at the weekend and have loads of posts to catch up on. I see that there is great news for GLB and Malteser - well done girls!! Its always nice to log on and have something cheery to greet you.

Not that I want you to dwell Malteser but what kind of pains did you/ are you getting? I had pains with my last pregnancy that lead to the scan at 6 weeks in the EPU where we saw our bean complete with heartbeat. We didn't find out about MMC until the 12 week scan and I asked afterwards about the pains but they said the scan at 6 weeks showed nothing so it can't have been related.

Happygirl been thinking about you so glad things are looking more positive. Lets hope for more of the same x

Hippy don't know if its too late to say cheerio and wish you all the best. I've enjoyed your company and will miss your expertise in CM!!! Good luck pal x

Welcome back MrsPrettyG good to see you back on the thread with some positive news about your work. Good to see Allthe8s again too.

Hello to Digitalgirl and BUndertheBonnet. You are both in a pretty awful place at the moment, I feel for you. Look after yourselves and I hope this thread helps.

Viv, Clareanna and anyone else on CBFM - I have had 4 days of high fertility now. This is my first cycle on the monitor and wondering when I am likely to get a peak and how many days that will last?

Hi to everyone else - hope you're all well. Sorry if I've missed anything, I promised I wouldn't leave it so long to check as well but the lure of sun, good food, company and drinks was too much!

Bunderbonnet Sorry to have missed you and that you experienced MC away from home which must have been tricky. I MC'd at 12 weeks and it's hard to have got than far isn't it? Take care of yourself.

Evening all

GLB Not POAS for a while - didn't show a +ve until CD39 last time and as cycle 37 days I have a while to go. Really pleased your line is getting stronger!

Gilda 'Hi' back to you after you cheery post this morning.

Viv Sorry to hear about your coffee incident and hope you managed to get the smell out of your hair and clothes!

Bunnybaby I sympathise with you on the 2WW - mine is a 3WW and it is a killer isn't it?

Allthe8s Good news on the court case and also fingers crossed for 2WW.

Happygirl Sorry to hear your are still in a state of confusion and hope Weds comes round quickly for you.

Cheepz I would def recommend SWI with no precautions - IMHO it is far superior than with and I don't know how I will be able to go back to it when I finally get PG...

Littlemiss It's hard when schedules don't coincide isn't it? I am often away with work and it's hard to be away knowing you are missing important SWI. On the other hand, you will have a double bed all to yourself and I console myself by reading and eating chocolate in bed .

Wannabeamum Don't be too hard on yourself for testing too soon. I did the same as you last month after first month of trying again and felt crap afterwards.

Digitalgirl Really sorry to hear about your second MC.

Hippychick Sorry to see you go, but farewell for now.

For those who's DH/DP doesn't agree with you being on this thread, I have found it invaluable at giving me hope and comfort so my DH thinks that is a very good thing.

Phew - I think that's today's action. The only way I can keep up now is to write it all down and then type a response! I hope no one else has posted in the interim.

Well, I was back at work today and it wasn't as bad as I thought! Viv's tale earlier got me wondering what you all do in RL - are we allowed to share this sort of info?

Hi,
I had a miscarriage last week while I was on holiday in France (with a helicopter ride to hospital, no less). I was 11 weeks, and starting to feel quite hopeful, so it was pretty to crap to end up having an emergency operation and not really understand the language.
This baby arriving would have coincided really nicely with dd1 starting school so I could be on maternity leave, and do the whole dropping off at the gates thing. Now feeling very sorry for myself.
We had just told everyone as well, because there was a family party and I was really showing to much to hide it.
Now, like a crazy person, I want to get pg again as soon as possible, because I don't think I could stand it if my due date arrived without me being pg. I saw my own GP today and she said there wasn't any reason not to try, so dh is all for it.

Sorry for miserable introductory post - still a bit raw.

My stats: BUnderTheBonnet TTC#2 UCL 28-36 CD ??

digital - so sorry to hear your news. I can really imagine how a second mc feels worse than the first. Hard to tell yourself that it's just one of those things when you've already been through it once. I really hope you're okay. It won't be much consolation now but lots and lots of people have multiple mc and go on to have healthy babies. Really thinking of you, ((()))

malteser Sorry crossed posts. I have no words of wisdom but didn't want to ignore your request.

I sincerly hope the nagging pains are any of the harmless things you are hoping for .

happygirl I've got everything crossed that this is just a blip for you and not anything awful happening.

AF arrived for me at the week-end. So perhaps I was wrong to be 99.9% sure that I was gonna get preg this month . I only had a 22 day cycle (ov'd early at day 11). Zita had done such a good job on me that I was totally convinced - ahh well, will try to stay positive for the next try.

I'm in the same position as wannabeamum, my DH has voiced concerns about me reading the MC thread cos I do tend to get all worried afterwards.

I'm so sad for those of you who are experiencing this awful thing for the second (or more) time, and I would love to be here for you, so I can be supportive.

Unfortunately, when I read that people have lost again it does make me mega paranoid.

I think maybe I will have to try to wean myself off this thread for a while . Just cos I need to stop obsessing about a possible MC in the future.

Can one of you clever bods take me off the list for now please?

I am still gonna lurk and check you are all ok. If anyone wants to find me I can be located on the 'Continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings' thread.

Love to all. xx .

Digitalgirl - sorry you have found youself here.

I should be soooo happy because I have got a BFP on the first month of a proper cycle following the mc but..........the naggy pains I had the last time right from the word go have reappeared. It's like history is repaeting itself, tried last time to think positive (it's just an ache from a corpus luteal cyst, it's just stretching pains etc etc) when instead it was my body trying to tell me I had a missed miscarriage.
DH is realistic - just hope for the best- but I can't bear waiting again only for my hopes to be dashed.
Any words of wisdom?
GLB - glad it's looking good for you
Happy - ditto, I would be reassured if it was me.

Wow, there are way too many posts to try and catch up on. Who has new BFPs that I need to congratulate?

Goodluckbear had the EP treatment on 18 Feb so have to wait until 18 May for my 3 months to be up. But am usually due on around end of the month so in reality it'll be June. Time feels a bit like it's dragging, but I'm sure it'll fly by.

digitalgirl really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Big hugs to you.

Hi digitalgirl - I'm so sorry to hear what's happening. I think we were on threads at the same time end December (I miscarried end Dec). It's just such utter shitness.

Wannabe - I totally understand testing early, and seeing a BFN is so disappointing (not sure if "disappointing" cuts it - I cried at every BFN post mc).

Happy - sounds so confusing and I imagine you're having a lot of highs and lows thinking about it all, but glad the second one was 5+ as it must be a good sign and good news. I'm shitting myself everytime I feel a twinge, and I don't have any symptoms (my boobs aren't really sore this time). It's hard to know what to think - my DH keeps saying "try to be positive" but easier said than done!!

Cheepz - er, I don't know, but I hope you have a really nice weekend away together, presumably you can still peak even if stuff is still coming out? It's all so confusing!

Viv - I smacked my head against the TV screen above my head on the plane back from hols, and did a comedy fall into the aisle. I always let out some sort of crazy lady shriek at these times. Add coffee into the mix - what a start to a Monday morning!! Hope your head (and hair) is recovering ok.

I also meant to say - from several posts back - I thought you did well Muser on the family stuff. How long is it now to wait?

Hi to everyone else - Bunny, Littlemiss, Red, Pretty, Barren (ok, will stop namechecking now as boss is coming. Hi to everyone else too).

I'll move to grads tomorrow as part of my pretending positive thinking.

xxxxx

Can I join this thread please?

Have just found out I am miscarrying AGAIN. Supposed to be 7 weeks pregnant with DC2, but didn't have any symptoms last week and then started cramping and spotting over the weekend. Went to the hospital today to get a scan and they could only find something that looked like it could be a sac that was measuring far too small for my dates.

Going for a blood test on Weds to confirm HCG levels dropping but I already know they will. Have started passing clots, so just waiting for the cramps to get heavier and for that 'big one' to pass.

Had a mc in November, but am much more upset about this one. Really thought it would be horrible luck to have it happen again. And now my worst fears have been confirmed. So fucking unfair.

Anyway, thanks for letting me introduce myself with a rant. Promise I'm not always like this.

Hi All
I have dropped off this thread a bit, but I have been lurking, reading all the posts and seeing what has been going on. I didnt feel I had much to add, and I think DH would rather I didnt log on here anymore, he doesnt want me thinking about the MC anymore.

SO happy for everyone that is having good news - bit too many to namecheck. Its so good to see that things can carry on as normal, and that everyone is so strong and able to keep trying.

Last period was my first since the MC so I am on the 2WW - well 4 day wait to be honest. And I have done what I said I wouldnt do and caved and bought an early test just to get a BFN- knew I would and I'm really cross with myself for testing early. Now Im stuck at my desk feeling very sorry for myself! What a fool I am!

Yoohoo! Baggsy the chocolate cake

Monday already, not sure where that weekend went. Viv, chocolate coated hair is all the rage hunni.

Good news Happygirl fingers and toes crossed for you! cheepz sod it all and do what you feel, everything is always cockahoot anyway post mc so just relax and enjoy

Well my RTD didn't last long at all.. Friday / Saturday and now nada I think my cycle is completely up the pole and to top it all DP is off to Dubai with work week after next. Not impressed as the timing is certainly not ideal for swi. Saying that I'm not sure I'm even ovulating, was thinking of investing in some sort of predictor kit however that could just lead to utter confusion.

The cakes good Allthe8s keep up the baking woman!

Happy Monday all x

happygirl great news, Fingers crossed, all sounds really positive and notlong till doctors appointment

redhairgal really good news too, now you can start to swi

cheepz so confusing isn't it? I had spotting for 17 days of 2x 31 day cycles past mmc. Interestingly it halted the minute I ovulated, i wonder if this will prompt your residue to stop. Keep us posted. Thankfully normal cycle at last this month without everlasting spotting.

Afternoon ladies.....apologies for being slack but I come with chocolate cake freshly made by way of apology (it has lovely chocolaty butter icing and mini eggs on top too)!

My goodness you ladies have been busy bees....

Cheepz I can't help as I have been told not ttc and have ignored advice given .....I can't vouch for accuracy of CB either as have never used....I hope that you enjoy your weekend away if I don't get back on here b4 the weekend.

Hi to Redhedgal good news on your BFN (Sounds weird saying that!)

Keeping my fingers crossed for Happy x

Bunny great outcome on your case, I bet that is a major weight off your shoulders and also keeping fingers crossed for you too (and WYG!)! Viv Oh dear lord your poor lady! Are you ok now hun?

Waves to PrettyVacant1 now I have worked out who you are! Hope you are doing ok.

Great news GLB Yay!!!!!!

Littlemiss hope you are doing ok x

Hi to everyone else Gi1da Clareanna mumsie Ladybee hope your Monday is going well.......if I have missed anyway I am so sorry...More chocolate cake???

Nothing to report my end and quite pleased it's the school holls as I am busy so not having to think about 2ww (well 1w) much.

Have a great afternoon ladies.

xxx