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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

993 replies

Icedlemonmuffin · 24/02/2010 11:51

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

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Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 24/04/2010 20:50

UmBongo I suppose popping in a mint down below could give your ladybits a nice minty fresh flavour, but if it was the mint with a hole it mint give dh a shock

I always have a massive howling fit when rtd arrives and I just want to be on my own and cry in peace or punch the crap out of my pillow! But at least you cleared the air with your dh.

Fairy please forgive me for asking but what does a margarita taste like?

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Fairygodmother1 · 24/04/2010 20:06

I kinda feel bad for having a go at DH when RTD was headed my way. Also a bit pissed on margaritas!!!!

Hope people enjoyed the saturday sunshine today. There was a good side to that volcano - no april showers so far!

UmBongo · 24/04/2010 19:40

Sorry you got rtd Iced and Fairy Hug from me too.

I am on day 5, am relieved to hear that others are having problems with the lack of enthusiasm of dh's. I did manage to say something about lack of sex the other night as dh came in and interrupted my day 1 howling session. (Why are they never there when you want them, but sometimes they won't go away and let you howl in peace!!!) I decided that as I was already in a state, I may as well go for broke and and say some of the things I had been putting off!! Cleared the air I think.

On the upside, the consultant appt has just been moved forward from 20 something of June to 16th May!! Hooray!

Iced where is Lou supposed to pop the mint?

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 24/04/2010 09:09

Thanks for the hug Lou really needed it , I'm trying to be strong but all this ttfc is starting to get to me.

Sorry about dh maybe next time pop a mint in or do spoons ! Lol

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Loujalou · 24/04/2010 06:04

Think I might be a bit pished still. Well don't think I am but had some wine last night and a curry.

Came home and tried to jump on TH but he wasn't having any of it and complained about my curry breath. How dare he.

It probably didn't help that I did sob as my friend is preggers again and don't think she was trying that long. Might have put the man off. Oh well didn't sob as much as I used to when finding out a friend was pregnant so that is progress.

Iced and Fairy I am going to be joining you in the park next month if I don't win a baby this month!

Iced its crap when the witch comes. Pisses me off no end. Am on day 17 or something now. Not really sure so only a week before spotting is due. Sending you a big hug.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 23/04/2010 21:29

God Fairy, ttfc is soooo frustrating and it's really hard to stay positive when it feels like I'm doing my best to do everything right but my body just keeps doing it's best to stop me getting pregnant!

Next month I'm going to the park to find Dazza

Going to bed to beat the crap out of my pillow, for some reason I'm really angry this month as well as being peed off and sad.

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Fairygodmother1 · 23/04/2010 21:15

See!!!! It's crazy aint it! One second I think I'm ovulating & the next I'm spotting (not implant spotting though & starting to cramp).

Who's next to joint us in the boat floating on the RTD????

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 23/04/2010 21:13

Aarrrrrggggghhhhh Fairy what is going on rtd got me too! Not fair

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Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 23/04/2010 19:46

Good luck with the baby visit , I end up making my lip bleed from biting it to stop myself from crying or screaming out 'it's so not fair I want a baby'.

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Fairygodmother1 · 23/04/2010 19:36

Other than school work (I'm a teacher so not 'homework' lol), the garden & possibly visiting a friend who's just popped a sprog (not that I'm a sucker for punishment), nothing much. Hoping the weather holds out!

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 23/04/2010 18:02

Hi Fairy glad you got some action but boo to rtd making an early arrival.

Well work tommorow and if it stays warm we will be busy in the garden on Sunday and we have to try and put our new tent up! Hopefully we will be able to do it without any shouting or swearing.

What are your plans?

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Fairygodmother1 · 23/04/2010 17:54

I got some action yesterday morning but low & behold - looks like RTD is about to arrive EARLY!!!! What is going on???? EWCM beginning of the week then RTD at the end!!!!

Whats people's plans for the weekend?

xxx

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 22/04/2010 18:43

Lou love childish penis jokes I was sniggering when I wrote it, dh is always telling me to grow up!

I hope Fairy got some action last night.

I will never touch a wall in a hospital toilet ever again, on second thoughts I will make sure I have wipes at all times in my bag just in case!

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Loujalou · 22/04/2010 09:10

"Hard" to "perform" - sniggers at childish penis jokes!

Maybe the wank toilet has walls that dissolve the "white goods" so that it is not too gross.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 21/04/2010 20:34

I think it's hard for them to perform on demand especially if I've got my book in my hand and dh nearly falls off the bed because he's got pre seed on his hand (it is very very slippy).

Have they got a special wank toilet! Can you imagine the walls if someone hasn't got a very good aim

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Fairygodmother1 · 21/04/2010 20:23

DH is usually good at his job but I felt that last night he let me down!

Thats why I made DH do it in hosp toilet so that it was as fresh as they could get it !

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 21/04/2010 20:07

Lou he just seems to want sex at the wrong time either when rtd has arrived or just when rtd is due to arrive or he's got too much work to do so I'm asleep by the time he gets to bed. It's more of a timing issue so maybe the turkey baster is the way to go

When does your oh have to wip (wank in pot) again?

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Loujalou · 21/04/2010 19:48

Inconclusive means sample was not good enough quality to test. Could be it was not put in incubator soon enough or we shagged too soon before. We are where are.

Iced you need a turkey baster even my DH delivers the goods. Sometimes grudgingly. Still doesn't help make a baby.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 21/04/2010 19:39

Fairy my dh is exactly the same and it drives me mad, I just want to punch him really hard! I only want him for a few minutes and then he can go and do what he wants. His job (providing White goods) last a few minutes is painless and doesn't stretch his private parts or leave him with a scar ! I told him leave it in a cup in the fridge if it's to hard to get in bed with me!

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Fairygodmother1 · 21/04/2010 19:28

I'm p**sed off at DH as he'd rather play his computer games than shag me!!!!! No EWCM today so did we miss it????

Inconclusive? Does that mean he's normal? DH & I weren't allowed to shag 3-4 days before.

xx

Loujalou · 20/04/2010 21:05

Fairy just keeping shagging that is unless you are too sore to do so.

Anyways TH phoned to get his results and they said they were inconclusive. WTF! He has to make an appointment to drop them off and do the two tests again. The next appointment is not til June and he can't have sex two days before. We weren't told that before. Has anyone else had this??

Back to ages. I am 31 not 32 for a few more months though.

UmBongo · 20/04/2010 20:35

Don't know about the ewcm Fairy, go jump your husband anyway!

I am off for a hot bath with hot toddy as dearest darlingest hubby turned the heating off over the weekend last week when it was a bit warmer and now it is chuffing chilly in this house. (well not too , but it is the only smiley that is blue with cold!!!!!)

Fairygodmother1 · 20/04/2010 17:44

Lou wank tests should be back within 5 days I think! DH's are back as far as cons stand-in sec told me yesterday!

Pol you don't ahve to POAS for a long while (I hope)

Umbongo sorry to hear about RTD!

I'm on day 23 & had loads of EWCM! Does this mean I'm ovulating late???

UmBongo · 20/04/2010 16:11

I am glad to see that you are stepping away from the thermometer etc Polly I hope that you have a joyfully uneventful 9 months!

Sorry that I can't join you with a christmas baby as rtd arrived this morning. It was also ds's first morning at pre-school and as I am a dinosaur stay at home mum, who has only left him with family, I found that just a bit tricky So that and the rtd arrival (late) meant that I had a rather soggy morning!

Better now. Onwards and Upwards.

Wank results should be back Lou, dh was told to book an appt after a week to get his results. (but didn't, but then you know all that!!!!)

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 20/04/2010 11:00

I sometimes put myself on the step so I get five minutes peace lol

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