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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

993 replies

Icedlemonmuffin · 24/02/2010 11:51

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 29/04/2010 18:49

Make up needs to be an inch thick (2 shades darker than actual skin) blusher bright pink , White glittery eyeshadow, false eye lashes(that fall off when snogging Bazza, Dazza and Wazza) and push up bra with chicken fillets.

Don't forget your hair piece , really sexy and looks like your own hair, honest (couple of quid off the Market)

OP posts:
Loujalou · 29/04/2010 18:42

The tan needs to be streaky too!

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 29/04/2010 18:38

Lou when I had my really bad cold and sore throat the other week I had blurry vision as well but hopefully it's a preggers symptom.

Fairy you are proper chav now, don't forget to fake tan the front of your legs for tommorow night!

OP posts:
Loujalou · 29/04/2010 18:26

Just taken out the contacts and it seems to be a bit better maybe just contacts and the fact the first time was 3 in the morning.

Loujalou · 29/04/2010 18:24

Could be the snakebite cock tail muffins though.

Loujalou · 29/04/2010 18:21

Argh my vision keeps going a bit blurry. Not sure if I am imagining things. It started last night but blamed it on the fact it was 3 in the morning but happened today at work. Not that I have googled it as a pregnancy symptom or anything??

Fairygodmother1 · 29/04/2010 16:46

Sorry girls, I was rushing round like a mad thing ladst night getting ready for my best friend's surprise visit any scond now. Just popped in to say Hi & wasn;t the short skirt that made me leg it! lol

See ya down the park tomorrow night with a bottle of mudshake (ooh do they still sell those?), 10 B & H for one of the boys & my new white stilettos!!!!

laters...

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 29/04/2010 15:54

It could be infection setting in from latest tat or you have got a cold as well from hanging round the park in your short skirt no knickers combo!

On more serious note hope you get some sleep tonight, I would say get medised but they changed guidelines to over sixes, you could take it yourself I suppose.

OP posts:
Loujalou · 29/04/2010 15:47

Could be toddler with a cold waking me up last night. Also, in a warmish office.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 29/04/2010 15:42

Lou that sounds promising!

I think Lia is at a POASA meeting!

OP posts:
PollyPoo · 29/04/2010 15:38

Where is Lia? Has she POAS yet?

Loujalou · 29/04/2010 15:30

I feel hungover but not touched a drop since Sunday! See what hanging the park has done to me.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 29/04/2010 15:06

Heeellllllloooooooooooooooo!

Where are you all did I kill the thread ! Was it the short skirt?

OP posts:
Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 28/04/2010 15:02

OMFG my last post gave me a great idea!

I need to stop watching jk it's sucking me in to a weird chav universe. I'm now sat here in a very fetching boob tube, a very tight and very short skirt , with fake tan on only the front off my legs (chavs always forget the back or they are streaky) my fetching tat and I'm now sponsered by WKD (cos I've always got a bottle in my hand).Better go got to pick dd up from school and it takes me a while to walk in these heels and then I've got to get back to cook smiles and drummers for tea! Laters (chav speak for bye)

OP posts:
Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 28/04/2010 14:21

Lou you need to use a needle and put holes in the condom, win win situation lol

rtd still here and dh away !

Sponge at least you escape the sore bits and fingers crossed you might not need it!

OP posts:
Loujalou · 28/04/2010 13:35

Sponge sorry that your body is not playing ball (so to speak) but at least you are getting treatment soon-ish.

SFF update - after failing miserably all weekend to have some I managed to have some yesterday and it was really good. TMI alert - due to TH tight foreskin the only way we can have really fun sex is with a condom. Forgot how good it can be!

Spongerider · 28/04/2010 12:50

Congratulations PollyPoo nice to see you pulled it out the bag just before your first Clomid dose! A lucky escape!

Good luck Lia and Lou! Try hiding your piss sticks somewhere inaccessible so that you don't have time to get to them before the first wee of the day. I always found getting a glaring negative more soul destroying than Red Tide of Doom turning up.

Fairy - 30 is just too many, what a shitter. I hope you get your referral soon, the hanging about month after month doesn't help.

Turns out from my prolonged dildocam session today that I haven't responded so I get a Don Not Pass Go card and am heading for IUI, probably in July. Whoop! Got to be better than being the psycho Clomid bitch from hell (at least that's my excuse).

Snowball muffins eh? Sound good, can I flambe them in Thunderbird do you think?

Loujalou · 27/04/2010 23:01

Lia if you hold out there will be a lot of shocked people in the park (we seem to hang out there with our 20/20 rather than on a bus). You have the strength you can do it.

No photos yet. I only have one week to wait though.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 27/04/2010 22:43

Fingers crossed for Lou and Lia in the babybee lotto, but if you win don't forget about us at ttfc anon !

Fairy I have been trying for about the same time as you , with mc in between, but because we have dd and got pregnant again gp seems to think that we don't need any tests yet.

Hello to everyone else hope you are all having a good evening.

OP posts:
PollyPoo · 27/04/2010 22:02

Aw thanks Lia, you'll make me cry. Enjoy shameless, I'm off to watch Castle. x

liahgen66 · 27/04/2010 21:58

oh I forgot my achy boobs

so I do, pop one in the post for me would you there's a love.

off to watch Shameless now, Am so pleased for you polly you deserve this. x

PollyPoo · 27/04/2010 21:54

You need one of those giant comedy inflatable hammers Lia to knock yourself out with.

liahgen66 · 27/04/2010 21:43

We all know that is so not gonna happen, If I manage to hole out till thursday I'll be bloody impressed.

last pg, got a clear neg on Weds, very clear pos day after, was due on on the sunday to come, so 4 days before.

Can i just go to sleep and wake up on Friday, or even Saturday.

PollyPoo · 27/04/2010 21:41

Hehe, i know what you mean Lia. Well, just sit back and wait until you are late, then POAS. Sorry Lia, I am the worst one to talk - I was POAS at 9DPO this month and cried cos I got BFN, dozy cow.

liahgen66 · 27/04/2010 21:33

oh Idon't really symptom spot as a rule cos I am notoriously good at convincing myself whatever the hell I want to believe.

so..

knackered
highly emotional, crying at load sof stuff
twingy, (always get that though so notreally counted)
weeing lots
on and off small waves nausea
starving when I woke up the other day.

err taht's it.

photos look stunning, are yours on there yet lou