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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

993 replies

Icedlemonmuffin · 24/02/2010 11:51

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 04/05/2010 14:11

My other half keeps running the other way maybe I'll tell him about shag watch and shame him in to jumping on board! Some months he loves it and some months he says he feels like a cock on legs!!!

I want to win shagwatch, I want to win shagwatch I'm never usually so competitive but I WANT TO WIN SHAGWATCH. I have been listening to N -Dubz while doing my house work think they have pushed me over the edge na na naaaa

OP posts:
Loujalou · 04/05/2010 14:02

Our other halves will not know what has hit them......

Ladybird10 · 04/05/2010 13:28

Thankyou for the welcome, i'm sure i will fit in just nicely here, my skirt barely covers my white bum (the rest of my body is orange but ran out of fake tan) and my pink thong has little miss naughy on the front, i've got my kappa trainers on and my favourite white playboy vest top which is more of chewing gum grey colour. Once the dole money comes through i'll be down the market to buy another one.

Ok my stats for shag watch, don't plan on having many this month but we shall see. I'm quite a competitive person so will try harder -

Icedlemon-cd10 1 shag
FairyG-cd10 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)(
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd16 2 shags (and good ones!)
LadyBird -cd3 0 shags (due to red river)

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 04/05/2010 13:22

Lou I was a bit more easy, used to drink whatever they were buying, my only request was a straw so I could get drunk quicker! God I hate my dd to be like I was in my teenage years.

OP posts:
Loujalou · 04/05/2010 13:09

Tequila Sunrises. Yummy. When I was a student I used to drink Long Island Ice Tea as that was the most alcoholic content with the cheapest price. Classy.... They were yuck too.

Loujalou · 04/05/2010 13:06

Lady you are welcome to join us. You sould like you might just fit in here. Well that is if your skirt is short enough and your thong sparkly. [Passes over some WKD and Hooch].

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 04/05/2010 13:02

Sorry Lou come and shoplift down at the spar with me to cheer yourself up!

Wassup Ladybird and welcome to our girl gang, boob tube, glittery thong and jeggings (day time) short,tight skirt (night time) are essential. Boo to ttfc for so long, but fingers crossed for iui. Just need your stats for shag watch.
Icedlemon-cd10 1 shag
FairyG-cd10 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd16 2 shags (and good ones!)

OP posts:
Loujalou · 04/05/2010 12:52

I think RTOD has listened to IceIceBaby. Well onwards and upwards.

Ladybird10 · 04/05/2010 12:48

Hello Ladies can i join, this thread sounds like my kind of thread

I'm also on the clomid thread (waves to fairy) I've been lurking on this one and you lot do make me laugh.

The red river arrived on Saturday after a 40day cycle, was really getting my hopes up that i was pg but then boom the bitch arrived. Why does my body produce pg symptoms which aren't even real
Anyway we've been ttfc for 20 months now and will be starting iui next month, this is the last month of me pestering dp for some of his lovely swimmers and then i will have 3 months off hopefully the 3 months of iui will work, can't bear the thought of having to seduce dp at the right time every month just so i can win my prize (a baby) can't wait for the day when i can start enjoying sex for fun again

Sorry for rambling, i've brought with me a couple of jugs of tequila sunrises and some shots of apple sours

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 04/05/2010 12:16

Wow Sponge love your outfit! You are in the shag watch lead, I might catch you up tonight if dh gets over his grump! Some days I'm ok with baby talk other days I just want to punch myself in the head so I can't hear them anymore and then I go and cry.

Lou tell RTD to stop pissing about and make it's mind up, hopefully it will stay away.

OP posts:
Loujalou · 04/05/2010 11:58

Argh thought that RTOD had arrived due to spotting but not yet. Think it will be today though. Then I can count down to shag month. Have told TH we should shag every other day he seemed well up for it. Whether it will happen is another thing.

Sponge that is shit. I understand the tears. I keep having them too. How long have you been trying? At least you are still having fun with the shagging. [Passes over Lambrini mixed with something stronger]

Anyways this month apart from shagging til me bits are sore I am also going to ditch the thermometer and maybe even the OPKs. Think I might look at CM but that's it I tell you. Does anyone have a straight jacket?

Spongerider · 04/05/2010 11:51

(staggers in with boob tube adrift, one huge gold hoop earring missing and ripped tights)

No still here, just been having a puke fest from drinking too much to celebrate the Bank Holiday. Lambrini of course, as I am feeling posh.

Icedlemon-cd9 1 shag
FairyG-cd9 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Spongerider - cd16 2 shags (and good uns too)

Not sure what's going on here, OPK's are shrugging their shoulders and looking confused at me. Have actually been crying this morning - another baby born to a friend over the weekend (she started TTC more than a fucking year after me!)and other mate rabbiting on about which birthing centre she is going to use. Pass the Lambert & Butler's someone.

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 04/05/2010 11:33

They scare me at Aldi, have you seen how fast they scan and chuck your shopping at you!

OP posts:
Loujalou · 03/05/2010 21:22

Don't diss the Aldi. They do some good things!

Fairygodmother1 · 03/05/2010 20:34

PMPL!!!!!!!!
I'm a chic-chav & go to Aldi...the do cheap fab alcopops for a couple of quid!

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 03/05/2010 18:40

Charlie is now the official smell of TTFC anon and if I smell Charlie in the street I will know it's one of us!
I can just see me grabbing some poor random woman screaming are you FairyG or Lou or Lia Or Umbongo or Sponge. That will be the point I get banned from
tesco netto!

OP posts:
Loujalou · 03/05/2010 16:04

As long as it wasn't plus anus. I loved Charlie. The perfume not a man as that would be posh. I hope we've not scared sponge away .

Fairygodmother1 · 03/05/2010 13:33

Plus Anais (if thats how you spell it)

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 03/05/2010 12:40

It's only a crime if you get caught! Can you imagine CCTV appearing on crime watch of some hussey in a glittery thong shagging Dazza in the park.

I used to wear Charlie might pop to boots and relieve my youth.What about White musk (think that's what it was called) from body shop. OMG feel so old I'm going to bath in White lightning to get me in the mood for shagathon fortnight.

OP posts:
Fairygodmother1 · 03/05/2010 12:30

U sure it aint the body glitter that you bathed in before you went out? I found some Charlie perfume on special offer so bought it in bulk. Makes a change from the vanilla body spray.

You sure that some of this shagging in the park aint a crime.

Oops I'm on CD9 (already)

Icedlemon-cd9 1 shag
FairyG-cd9 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 03/05/2010 12:15

Sorry about all the bold bits not sure what I did, think I'm in shag shock! Only did it twice last month, hopefully this month my ladybits won't know what hit them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 03/05/2010 12:12

Icedlemon-cd9 1 shag
FairyG-cd81shag Liahgen-cd40 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd10 shags (obviously!!!)

FairyG proper chav name! Feelin it! I like your outfit but I'm finding glitter every where from this bloody thong!!(my thong not yours because that would be odd to be sharing a thong but maybe that's what they do in chav land? I suppose they shares blokes so why not a thong)

Lou bum bum bum to RTD but at least now you can star in Shag Watch!! It's a bit like crime watch but without the crime.

Lia if you want to be in our girl gang you have to tell us about your outfit !!

OP posts:
Fairygodmother1 · 03/05/2010 12:00

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
FairyG - CD8 1 shag!
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

Got my blue push up bra under my white low cut top with matching glittery thong with short white skirt!

Hoping to up shags to 2!

Loujalou · 03/05/2010 11:40

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

liahgen66 · 03/05/2010 11:28

Bugger, was just about to answer this question too.

SO
Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD? 0 shags

I have an outfit sat inmy drawer just waiting for it's first outing.