Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

You can storm out of the womb if you like!!!

I'm deffo with u...can we hve some cock tails like pina colada as we're gonna head to the beach. I'll pack my white bikini!!! It'll have to be primarni!

ok I'll try!

Sponge-cd20 2 shags (and good ones!)
Umbongo cd 19 3 shags!!
Icedlemon-cd14 2 shags
Liahgen-cd8 1 shags woohoo
LadyBird -cd7 0 shags (due to red river)
Loujalou-cd5 0 shags (obviously!!!)
FairyG-cd4 0 shag

I hope thats ok!!!

I am off to the beach with Lady and my bumper pack of Hooch and Wkd. Care to join me FairyG? You can have some of my sun oil so that we can roast nicely in the sun together.

Not sure I have the brain power to update shag watch and have just fallen out with TH so its unlikely I am getting any. [Stomps out the room]. Nearly typed womb!

coming off politics (sorry been quiet but my laptop has a virsus & won't switch on). Shag watch for me needs to be reset with this weird period I'm having so I'm back to day 4! Anyone want to update???

Why aint there nufink on TV on Sat night. Fancy the park????

This one about how Nick Clegg might get hurt if I see him

Lady I am glad you are going on that holiday to relax like everyone who got duffed easily recommended. Not sure that they would recommend the booze but me thinks it helps us forget the lack of baby. Maybe we should all move from park to the beach on holiday with you.

Orchid you are in as long as you don't puke breathe in my direction.

Me is feeling all political and started me own thread in that part of the world mumsnet. I think all that white lightening is doing the trick.

I can pass the initiation test with flying colours. Pass me two yards of white lightening and I promise I won't puke all over the sparkly thongs. I'm no lightweight you know

Newbies question: Surely fake tan goes on your face, top of hands, nips and lady bits -they're the bits people see most!!

On a more serious note. Ladybird, reflexology is great. If nothing else it's a time to relax when the rest of the time is spent thinking about babies - or lack of them. The lady I see is a fertility specialist and we work sessions around my cycle. I conceieved DC1 after two months of seeing her last time and so did a friend of mine. Whether it is just taking some time out, or the fact it does actually help, in my mind it's worth it!

Does that mean I can stay? (hic, hic, smelly white lightening breath).

Well the red river has gone now so i can now compete in shag watch. Going on holiday tonight and dp has promised lots of shags while we are away so we shall see

Iced the fake tan has to applied to the fronts of the legs, the backs of my legs stay white. Whilst on holiday i will only sunbathe on my back so only the front of me will be brown or should i say bright red what a classy look that will be.
I have packed my case which is full of sparkly thongs, white denim skirt, playboy hot pants, playboy bikini which only just covers my nipples and lots more chav-tastic items but to many to mention. As soon as we arrive we will be down to the British bar (even though we're in spain) drinking plently of sambuca's and pints of white lightning, we will stumble home and i will flash my white bum to the spanish locals and stop off for a shag on the beach in view of everyone walking past. Nice!!!!

Icedone he is being VVVVVVVU. He needs to get a jog on and give you the goods and the babyyyyyy you deserve.

He is Def BU but just for the record you need to keep the white goods warm, so best place is under your arm really. Bloody men, so selfish, we slave and cook and get em b and H whenever they want it, even rustle up the ole white lightening even if we have to tap our granny till the dole money comes in and do they appreciate it? No do they buggery

still am glad we had nooks last night cos my dh is glued to the bloody election, whats that all about, I don't understand it so i don't vote, noone can blame me for the state of the country then can they?

Icedlemon-cd12 2 shags
FairyG-cd12 1 shag
Liahgen-cd6 1 shags woohoo
Loujalou-cd3 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd18 2 shags (and good ones!)
LadyBird -cd5 0 shags (due to red river)
Umbongo cd 17 3 shags!!

just updating cos you seem to have missed the fact that I have in fact made it off the starters block. I reckon you did it on purpose so that Dazzer thinks you is better than me

Welcome Orchid. I think you might need to do an initiation test. I think a yard of White Lightening or Hooch should be the test for newbies. Puke - the thought of it makes me sick.

I spent a lot of money on acupuncture and falling asleep-- hypnotherapy but still no baby for me.

Well less than a month til TH has to wank in a pot again. Hopefully the results will come back more conclusive this time.

I enjoyed reflexology, but no luck yet. Although the tests so far implicate lazy sperm rather than me not ovulating. Can I pinch some vodka and coke lady, I'll swap for an L&B? (well, a half smoked one!)

Iced I'm impressed MNing in aldi - pick us up some more booze please.

Orchid welcome, don't forget the money you have spent on boob tubes, sparkly thongs and tiny short skirts!!!

Can I join purlease?

Am on cycle 5 but have funny cycles (not all that amusing I have to say!) and so not doing the months thing ttc no 2.

I am just about driving myself and everyone else round the bend and reading this thread has made me feel less like a lunatic than I was doing!!

Am on cd2 0 shags. Am hoping the £30 I spent on vitamins, £36 pounds on yoga classes and £35 on reflexololgy yesterday will mean that we win a babeeee this month. It does work like that doesn't it - the more money you spend on TTC = more chance of getting PG?

Need a light bulb emoticon. That would be a good one.

Icedlemon-cd12 1 shag
FairyG-cd12 1 shag
Liahgen-cd6 1 shags woohoo
Loujalou-cd3 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd18 2 shags (and good ones!)
LadyBird -cd5 0 shags (due to red river)
Umbongo cd 17 3 shags!!

Sex is definately the way to go if we want to get upduffed i think

Umbungo my mum was the one who told me the other day. Though she didn't say that it was affecting my care of DS. Think I might have walked out if she did. The other is a well meaning friend. Who conceived both of her DDs first time round....

Tis not fair am still on RTD so can't get off the mark - damn it.

I will catch you up when I start though. DH thinks we should shag more. He has chosen the right month for it.

Oh and forgot to say Lou when those annoying helpful people tell you to focus on your dc include your mum, it is reaally annoying, she told me a few months ago that the hole I was in about ttc was affecting my care of ds. That went down well.

Lia are you off the start yet?