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Conception

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EWCM? BBT? OPK? WTF?! We’re just not using contraception!

954 replies

frakkinaround · 23/02/2010 12:29

So a slightly lighter and less scary thread for those who are chucking away the pills and the condoms and hoping for the best!

OP posts:
30andMerkin · 26/05/2010 12:07

The one that always made no sense to me was 'A bit of how's your father'

WHAAAAT??

frakkit · 26/05/2010 12:03

Alas we have no garden so no al fresco bonking for us.

Just how many euphemisms are there? Avoiding the dreaded 'baby dancing' of course.

williamsmummy1986 · 26/05/2010 08:36

Alas, Ronan Keating is a big old love rat - not impressed by that at all. I've had all my teeny fantasies destroyed ;-)

Hate waiting to take a pregnancy test - it's boring!!

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 20:15

PS williamsmummy Boyzone schmoyzone ... we all know who the better band are

I have loved Mark Owen since I was 11 (including dragging DH to his solo gigs ) ... now he's a big fat cheat though, it's a bit hard to see him the same way. And Ronan, too! So much for the nice boys...

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 20:14

Ha ha glad to be of service in the keeping shagging light-heartedly! DH is currently annoying me, though, so day 4 will be shag-free at this rate ...

PinkFondantFancy · 25/05/2010 19:36

takethat you have just made me laugh out loud on a crowded train home :D

williamsmummy1986 · 25/05/2010 18:46

lol at TakeThat I think outdoor JS isn't going to work for us, we share the garden withour 80 year old next door neighbour. Mind you he's a little senile so he'd probably just keep chewing my ear off about "the way things ued to be" while we did!!

My favourite cheesy boyband - Boyzone I was always a Ronan fan ;-)

Miffles · 25/05/2010 18:18

Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Thank you all!! Has made me chuckle aloud...rumpy pumpy to horizintal joggers....and then imagined if we "got jiggy" in the back garden - overlooked on all sides!

I saw my doc today - he's referred me for a scan to find out one way or other if I have PCOS. Taken the pressure off as nothing I can do. Will JS when the feeling takes us. Think it would take more than TakeThat's attempts to turn my DH into a monster!!

bringbackwham · 25/05/2010 17:35

gormers - fair point & i accept the fine! i'm with you too on not being able to do anything slightly frisky in our back garden as we're overlooked. aside from the fact that we only moved in 3 weeks ago & i don't want to be blacklisted by neighborhood watch(!), the couple on one side would probably have heart attack and the couple on the other side would, i suspect, ask to join in...(they have an air of 'car keys in the fruit bowl' about them if you get my drift...!)

takethat, yes my name is related to a very old cheesy boy band. at school i was definitely a wham-ette and not a durrany. showing my age now! (anyone else on this thread over 35 by the way? i'm 38 in july & trying not to panic that i've left it too late...)

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 14:58

Lol vallinna!

vallinnapod · 25/05/2010 14:07

75 days wowsers! hear that uterus, don't think your off the hook!

Although I do now feel slightly competitive and have the need to reach 76, just for the hell of it (although would be VERY happy not to for either reason!)

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 13:25

From 'rumpy pumpy' to 'horizontal jogging' - that's the history of the English language in the last thirty years right there!

Vallinna a lady on the first time frolickers thread just got a BFP 75 days since her last cycle, so keep the faith!

Bringbackwham is your name related to an old and cheesy boy band, like mine?

gormers · 25/05/2010 12:54

Ok - immediate fine for bringback for use of the term 'rumpy-pumpy'!!!! That phrase itself switches my ovaries off!!

Not sure I can join you in the alfresco horizontal jogging - we are very overlooked at the back! Although, if you could promise me that it would work and make pregnant then I probably would!!

vallinnapod · 25/05/2010 12:54

PMSL takethat congratulations on living the heart of this thread!

It's CD57 for me...according to my iPhone period tracker (oh, yes - the geeks think of everything!) I should be on my next period now, let alone hanging around for the first one! Ah well!

As I result I am JS as I haven't a clue when my body will do anything (I like to think I do it because it is fun too!!)

bringbackwham · 25/05/2010 10:59

heehee takethat what have you unleashed??!! good on you though, I'm all for taking the initiative and as long as there are no stinging nettles about (ouch!), a bit of al fresco rumpy pumpy is good for your, erm, health! (did I really just say 'rumpy pumpy'???!!! god, i'm turning into my mother!)

gormers · 25/05/2010 10:42

ljg - really sorry to hear that.xx Thinking of you and OH.xx

Fuzzywood · 25/05/2010 10:13

takethat you're going to get me in trouble, just laughed out loud at your post in the office. What have you created?!

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 10:07

On a different note, I thought I would give you the takethatlady diary of shag as it's going so far:

Day 1. Saturday, cycle day 10. Not wanting DH to realise my cunning plan and end up feeling like an unloved shag machine, have decided to use feminine wiles to keep up the variety and make him think it's all his idea ...

So, attempt #1: DH goes to get food for a barbeque. This will bring the hunting instinct out of him. I get out of the shower (downstairs bathroom) 'accidentally' at the same time he comes home, and realise I have (whoops!) forgotten my towel, so need to run upstairs naked to get one. He says 'what the hell are you doing? [There's a tiny window in the front door which is in the living room]. What if the postman had knocked? He could have seen you! Put something on!' Attempt #1: Mission aborted.

Attempt #2: Later that evening, resort to a fumble on the couch. DH still worried about the postage-stamp sized window in the front door, but testosterone defeats him and he rather romantically pulls a curtain across from the living room window, opens the front door, and tucks it in. Shag 1: successful. Neighbours may wonder what the hell we're up to.

Day 2, temperature outside 26 degrees. DH is marking Year 7 projects; I am writing up a project for work. We sit next to each other in our garden. Occasionally kiss him and make slightly naughty manoeuvres. Eventually the heat gets to him. Meat is on the barbeque. Suddenly Mr. 'Someone might be looking' takes me to a hidden corner of the garden, and goes for it right there. Shag 2: successful; slightly afraid it's having an effect on DH's personality...

Day 3, bit tired from work, make no attempt. Late at night have to kick the covers off, accidentally fling my leg over him. He's rampant. In three days I have created a monster...

takethatlady · 25/05/2010 09:49

ljg just to second what everybody has said here. The lantern sounds perfect.
xxx

janedoe25 · 25/05/2010 07:44

ljg, just to let you know i am thinking of you. Hugs sent to you x

PinkFondantFancy · 24/05/2010 22:56

I'm so sorry ljg, my thoughts are with you. Big hug x

StarflowerGirl · 24/05/2010 18:48

I'm so very sorry ljg. My heart goes out to you. Lighting a lantern is a really beautiful idea.

williamsmummy1986 · 24/05/2010 18:21

So, so sorry ljg. The lantern is a beautiful idea!

30andMerkin · 24/05/2010 14:28

Oh ljg, so sorry.

frakkit · 24/05/2010 14:20

I'm so sorry, ljg. A lantern sounds like a lovely thing to do. Sending hugs to you.