Just MC...Long haul, short haul, ranting, weeping, laughing all encouraged. Oldies and newbies very welcome

Morning All, am passing the croissants around and hoping the day gets better. I feel total shit today, saw my hairdresser last night for a feel good cut and colour only to find out she is expecting then logged onto facebook and a friend (who I knew was preggers in fairness) has just posted her scan pics on - I was a week behind her. I am genuinely pleased for these ladies but it just cuts through you like a knife. I would like to go back to bed and not have to work and do the school run or even go out today, just want to hide under the duvet and feel sorry for myself. Unbuffy your comment is so true this morning. The down days do get fewer and further between as time goes on but when they come those days are very dark Sorry to start the day off like that.

unbuffy what you say is so true. I keep thinking that I'm taking good steps forward but then I realise that there is still a big void I can't fill no matter how busy I try to keep myself. Had a rough day yesterday because it should have been my appointment with the midwife. If I'm honest there's still a little part of me that can't let go of the idea that I'm still pregnant and don't think I will until AF comes. I keep hoping the hospital just made a really big mistake. I imagine AF will trigger all sorts of emotions.

Unbuffy- getting AF brought it all back to me as well- can't help thinking I should be feeling my baby kick now. Try to look forwards and take care x

(passes round large box of Kleenex)

Gi1da, don't mention EE it made me cry tonight - as have the last few posts. Cakes and cookies sound good though! Cheepz thanks for that last post, I needed that reminder and what you say is so true. And it is so bloody hard.

Can't believe how quickly the new thread has moved!

unbuffy its heart wrenchingly true, and for the first 3 months after the first mc that was all I could think about, just let me be pregnant again, it won't be the same baby, it won't be a replacement, but it will help me with the pain. Its so hard.

One of the things the doctor said to me then - which might help you now - it helped me, is that the reason why the vast majority of miscarriages occur is because of a problem that occurs right at the beginning when the egg is fertilised - there is nothing that could be done to prevent it and from that point there is nothing that can be done about it - and the body knows, and the body stops the baby from developing. Sometime sooner, sometimes later. I know there are of course other circumstances but in the majority of cases, especially with early miscarriages our babies would just not have made it.

Oh Unbuffy. I know. Had a cry too now. It IS just horrible. But yes, Sarahmum thanks for your words. God it's just so bloody hard.

Oh unbuffy now I'm in tears too. That's what it all comes down to isn't it. We can do everything we can to move forward but it won't stop that being true. All we can do is learn to live with it, and try to find space to enjoy the things that we do have

Sorry everyone, have to say those six words we all feel.

i just want my baby back.

Bigmuther so sorry to have you with us (iykwim), really hope you're able to look after yourself and your DP/H, we'll all be here to offer support as much as we can.

DS is sprouting teeth (I think) and is absolutely refusing to sleep, despite bonjela, calpol and teething powder. Stupid molars. Not exactly what we need while I'm recovering from flu - I seem to remember a time when I thought that once they started sleeping through, that was it, you got sleep again. Um, no.

Hasn't helped the SWI, although we did manage it last night and the night before, just on the off chance I OV'd late or something. Not holding my breath this month though.

Unbuffy sorry AF got you, it's crap, isn't it? And hard to cling onto positive thoughts like 'at least everything's working'

Can you put me down on the list as cycle 1 cd2 now please?

Hi all.
Today i looked up my blood results. They were negative for Hughes syndrome.

I am now left with no clear diagnosis, more importantly, no idea why i keep on miscarrying.

I am desperate for another baby. I am scared that i will have yet another mc, i am worried that i am no further on.

Have any of you ever had a clear and acceptable answer as to why you have miscarried?

What's an iggle piggle? is it one of those night gardeny things- cannot stand and have never watched!!

Bigmutha - so sorry to hear your news and that you're joining us - so difficult what you're going through - we're here for you.

Gina - what a heartbreaking time for you - sorry you are here, but welcome anyway.

Jeepers creepers - can't believe how quickly this thread moves, I go to work and come back and it's 6 pages long!
I think wibbly pig is in cahoots with iggle piggle - evil abounds.

Gi1da - speechless at the duff duffs - but will never be able to hear them again without thinking that - perhaps it should be my SWI theme tune....

sugar rush from those cakes....

Thanks everyone for your messages. It has been hell over the past weeks... The only way I feel that I can get through it is to think of the future and make sure that our little girl is remembered and loved. Hopefully that makes sense. I am having trouble expressing myself a lot at the moment. We were lucky that we were able to spend a lot of time with her and we can remember how beautiful she was.

buffy don't worry I know exactly what you meant! Thanks for the tip on the other thread too Viv & liahgen I will check that out too.

mmmmm... too busy pigging on cake....

No? Oops I'll get me coat....

Good heavens what a busy day! Runs into the thread waves at everybody, waaay too many to namecheck sorry! Surreptitiously places a big basket of cakes and cookies on the coffee table then runs out and pretends to have been busily working at desk all the time.. Who me? Nah...

Ladies, wishing you all a good day, and lets hope that this thread ends up with more up the duff duffs (duff duff duffs) than eastenders!

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been offline for so long - been feeling really wiped out - but I've been lurking and checking up on everyone. This thread is just moving sooooo quickly that I never quite feel that I can catch up properly - so have given up and just a big wave to everyone! I had a bit of a wobble at the weekend as had a little bit of spotting - of course I lost the plot and assumed the worst. In the middle of it, Totally (the original thread starter) logged on and announced that her baby girl Faith had been born and it just seemed such an appropriate name.

Welcome to all the newbies - sorry you've had to find this thread but it truly is a life saver. I found it the day after my miscarriage and it has helped me so much.

And sorry where AF has made an appearance. It is such a rollercoaster - I found my response varied from month to month, from being really upset to quite philosophical. The only consistent was I could never predict how I would feel!

Unbuffy - just to confirm what everyone else has said about the hair loss - I'm sure it's hormonal. Meita had it briefly for a while and she's never mentioned wearing a wig!

Liah - yes I started a previous thread but it took another volume before I got up the duff. You should have started with a double post and that would have meant twins! [TFLS cringes at her own lame joke and embarrassedly exits the thread quickly]

Hi everyone,

I have posted on the mc boards in the past, its good to see that another thread has been started for this as I have to admit, I found the other one (which was massive!) a bit intimidating, silly I know!

I have had 3 mcs since ttc, the first one was in June last year so my due date would have been around this time which I am finding... pretty hard to deal with really.
Especially when faced with people that I know who are pregnant, one of them also due any day now. I think I am just kind of ignoring my feelings b'cos its too painful to cope with otherwise.
I don't have any children and can't help thinking it may never happen, negative I know but I can't shake the thought.

Anyway, I am a bit unsure about stats, my usual cycle length is 28 days, and its been 5 days since my 1st period started since the mc.

Thanks xxx

i don't feel picked on, don't worry! Just wanted to agree with expressions of shitness of circumstances and situations. and wanted to remedy any offence caused.

dd currently screaming herself into blue funk refusing to nap. may have to give up any idea of work today (sigh).

Unbuffy - please don't feel terrible. Like Liah says, I wasn't picking up on you using the term - more that even I struggle to describe what we've been through without using the word, even though it's not the right word to use - if that makes sense. xx

liah thanks for updating and I know what you mean about the school run....plus there have been lots of new babies born since Sept (DD1 at nursery), on of the mums hasn't been around for a while and arrived today with pram I managed to have a peek and say congratulations without bursting into tears. I am surrounded by bumps at the mo.

Gina I am sorry to hear about your baby too, it is heartbreaking. I hope you can find the support you need here. You are a very brave and strong lady for making that decision, I know how tough it is having been there.xxx

unbuffy my hair sheds too. Spoke to hairdresser and she said its normal just hormones adjusting.

liah if you update the list would you mind changing my TTC number 2 to number 3. Explained in an earlier post. Thanks x

s'long as i'm not going to go bald, i'm not too worried, just wondered whether anybody else had had similar.

so sorry about using the word 'choice' in earlier post . as soon as i posted it i was kicking myself - it's not a choice at all, it's a hideous decision to be forced to make. i feel awful - many appologies.