Just MC...Long haul, short haul, ranting, weeping, laughing all encouraged. Oldies and newbies very welcome

Hello everyone, almost a week since the 12 week scan showed a mmc and the mc is fully underway today. It's been a surreal experience but strangely comforting to know that our bodies are pretty good at doing what's best for us. I've felt everything today: terror, relief, panic, joy (?), humour... F*ing hormones. I am so grateful for this thread - just reading through the posts has made me realise that what I'm going through, physically and emotionally, is entirely normal.

Had a few hours of INTENSE despair yesterday when I noticed a Facebook post from a friend of mine. We conceived on the same day and therefore were due on the same day. Her post referred to her successful 12 week scan and their excitement etc. She meant no harm by it but Jesus, it felt like I'd been hit in the face. The emotions were unreal - absolute despair to the point that I was crying on the kitchen floor but it sparked some much needed tears. Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone. I've been quite upbeat this week and resigned to the fact that I've been heading for a miscarriage but I've wanted to keep strong for my dcs. I'm not great at showing emotions too freely but I agree so much with all the posters that crying really is healing.

Anyway, off to the hospital tomorrow morning as I was booked in for an ERPC but I'm assuming they won't bother now. I'm still cramping and bleeding but it's liquid rather than the jellied liver-type stuff of earlier (is anything tmi on this thread?! ).

Curlylox we were on the same a/n thread - it's lovely (in a sad way) to see you're on this one too.

Hi to all. It's lovely and sunny and I am trying to feel positive today.

I still get upset and it's been 3 weeks since we found out our little one hadn't made it. I had one 'rush to the loo in tears' moment at work last week. I was trying to explain to my friend why I just didn't want to talk to anyone on the phone and ended up sobbing, "I want my baby back!!!!" Ahh well - happens to us all and is part of the healing process.

I got the closest thing to a positive on an OKP yesterday so am counting that. Will now count down to AF and then start trying in earnest. (No not with Ernest!!!).

Bleeding seems to have stopped today. So I had an intimate moment with DH today. We didn't SWI cos we both want one AF before that but we got a bit jiggy and I feel like a huge hurdle has been jumped over.

Jollster I hope you find out that you no longer need the EPRC, and that your body has done the job for them. How crap if you had to have both! Keep being jolly - you're fab.

Good luck to everyone SWI this week-end and those of you about to test.

Morning all- breakfast time here! Just worked out that DH will be on a stag do at crucial time this month- argh. Am hoping for immaculate conception- that sort of happened with DS- swi on the Friday then he was away when I ov'ed on the Sunday .... Yet got pg. I'll just have to keep him busy before he goes!!!

Ho hum, AF has arrived. Another non-month for me . It's not in any way a surprise, but I was still holding out a smidgen of hope.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. This cycle is my last chance to have a 2010 baby, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed and will be leaping on DP at every opportunity!

Hi Curlylex I was exactly the same and still have those days now. All normal be gentle with yourself. Crying is healing so don't be tough on yourself xxx

Hi barrenbrook I just came on to see what was happening and saw your good and bad news. I'm very sorry. I've also started accupuncture (quite weird but relaxing) and hopefully it'll work for us both soon.

Hi all, still no sign of AF certainly WTF cycle going on here!

Congrats to red lurk until your ready hunni, no harm in that.

I'm also past miserable on to F-Jealous, I keep seeing all these pregnant women and wondering if it will ever be my turn. DP commented on it yesterday whilst having a long walk in the park

Managed to get through three hours in the hairdressers and came all blonde and wonderful again, hangover cured! Never ever try yager bombs.. ffs what was I thinking.

Lazy day for me today, DP locked away in the study, going clean the house, pain my nails and enjoy the peace and quite.

Happy Sunday all x

Jollster my (currently not so d)d is 14 months. just refused lunch, screaming tantrums all morning, very unhappy baba. I've put her to bed as think she is v v v v tired - tried that this morning and she wouldn't go down, so not holding out vast hopes . Bit of a 'grit your teeth and count the seconds until bedtime' day. My favourite!

Curlylox don't worry, I still have very rough days 6 weeks on. But generally I'm out of 'miserable' and into 'f* jealous' - I believe this is the accepted next stage... Something for you to look forward too

Thanks Jollster, don't feel quite ready to move to pregnancy yet so I'll just hover around here for a bit and lurk mostly!

Morning everyone, I hope the sunshine is helping in lifting your spirits...as it is mine. Had a terrible week, sobbing on the station platform and in the office, thought wtf is wrong with me so called the Dr's. Dr called me back and explained that I'm normal and I'm grieving! I thought after a couple of weeks I would feel ok, as fortunately not experienced loss/bereavement before. It's now four weeks, some days I feel ok others not. No sign of AF, am def not BFP as no SWI, just not been in the mood, funny as thought I would be especially because of what happened. Maybe will feel different once AF has arrived and gone??? Think I may need changing on the list to WTF??

unbuffy how old is your cherub? DS was totally disinterested for ages, way past his chums. Then with all the snow in January I tried again, and he likes bits of it, but gets bored quite quickly (un)fortunately. He's 21 months. Sorry about the rough night - it's a killer.

and for alba... chuggington, chuggy, chugg..... x

Morning everybody, it's lovely and sunny here and hope you've all got the same. Lots of waves and love to all x

Wish my small one would watch the Dread Beebies once in a while, but she has absolutely noooooo interest. And a horrible cough that kept her (and me) up half the night. as yawn face...

(I did cuddle him when he fell over - the tantrum is unrelated! I'm not in the habit of ignoring my son when he's actually hurt...)

Morning!

BFN this morning for me, despite AF being late . I know I'm almost certainly not PG, but do wish AF would put in an appearance if so, so I can stop clinging onto hope.

DS is not in the happy place this morning - he's fallen over twice and is now tantrumming...

I shouldn't post in such a hurry. Barrenbrook, sorry I think I sounded a bit heartless there, and dismissive of the little bean you lost. I'm in one of those hopeful and trying to be positive moods this morning but I know all too well that doesn't always help. Really crap to have had this happen to you.

Just reread, by catch up, I mean catch up on here with all your news, I'm not a crazy woman who just has to know the latest goings on in chuggington etc... But that's rather how it sounded! Oops

Isn't CBeebies on a Sunday morning great? Only way I get to catch up!

Barrenbrook I'm really sorry, you've probably been through every emotion this week, but here's to this month being the dress rehearsal and next it will all come right.

Redandyellow, congrats, and best wishes with the next few scary months, wishing you just enough morning sickness to keep your worries at bay and otherwise a boring old time.

Still crossing fingers for all at the top of the list, and for your next set of blood results Muser so you can join the rollercoaster... Similarly for your scan, Jollster.

I'm surprised the days are going by quite fast for me, time to start SWI already (short cycles sometimes a blessing)... And haven't got round to buying BBT thermometer so the extent of my obsessing limited to OPK sticks (cheapies so I can assume them to be telling me whatever I like, they're bound not to work brilliantly)... DH keen to make this month work for us, just hoping our colds don't linger and make it too much like hard work...

Right, better go, toddler with snotty nose and need for breakfast to deal with, then must get going and make the most of this lovely sunshine, wishing lovely sundays for all

BIG congrats red, have added you to the BFP list, hope you're ok with that.

Clareanna VVVVVV of such a great sounding holiday... hope you have a splendid time!

hippy I have heard that a good bleed is essential for getting everything ready for your next adventure - like a good spring clean (?!). Can empathise with how you're feeling though.

Gi1da love your style. Used to do a lot of inserting secret comedy phrases into corporate comms wherever I could. Miss those days sometimes!

Morning to everyone else.

(Oh and to dispel any supermum rumours, DS1 glued to CBeebies like John Terry to a pretty face....... ha ha actually mispelled that as groin first time - how Freudian...) Catch you all later.

Sunday's list

Moofold ttc#2 UCL~33 cycle1 CD47
northlondonchoclover TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD38
Liahgen66 TTC#6 UCL26 cycle 1 (post mc) CD38
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 14 CD34
yogamat TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF CD34
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 3 CD33
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD32
LittleMiss72 TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD30
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 3 CD29
NoShouting TTC#5 UCL? cycle 1 CD28
Curlylox TTC #3 UCL 28 cycle WTF CD28
Goodluckbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD26
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-26 cycle 11 CD26
Slimyak TTC #2 UCL 26 cycle 2 CD25
floweringcurrant TTC#1 UCL28 CD25
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL26 cycle 9 CD23
Gi1da TTC #1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD23
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL26 cycle 7 CD22
Allthe8s TTC#3 UCL28 cycle1 CD22
SarahMumtoAlex TTC#2 UCL28 Cycle 6 CD20
dirtgirl TTC#2 UCL28 cycle1 CD18
clareanna TTC#2 UCL35 cycle 1 CD17
sakura TTC#1 UCL28 cycle1 CD17
LucyT66 TTC 1 UCL 33-34 cycle 3 CD14
Underneaththestream TTC#1 UCL ? cycle 1 CD14
Unbuffy TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD13
shinysideup TTC#2 UCL25 cycle1 CD11
icedlemonmuffin TTC#2 UCL24-32 cycle11 CD10
albadetamble TTC#2 UCL25 cycle1 CD7
CCBloom TTC#1 UCL28 cycle1 CD7
BunnyBaby TTC #3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD3
Polyanna TTC#6 UCL27 cycle1 CD3
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 25-28 cycle 12 CD3

PENDING STATS
westyorkshiregirl TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
Malteser1981 TTC#? UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
slimyak TTC#2 UCL? cycle? CD?
sparklyrainbow TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle WTF
hippychick TTC #3 UCL? cycle WTF
lauraloo09 TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF
Urd TTC#3 UCL28 cycle WTF
Mummy369
meatntattypie
GinaFB
Newcastle16

WTTC
Muser TTC#1 EP 18/02/10 on 3 month wait
Jollster TTC#2 MMC2 26/02/10 waiting for ERPC

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
hoops997 BFP 11 July 2009
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
LeeWT BFP 21st January 2010
TFLS BFP 22nd January 2010
Louisesh BFP 22nd January 2010
MrsRigby BFP 27th January 2010
TheKurgan BFP 30th January 2010
effilump BFP 8th February 2010
Sarahlou8 BFP 10th February 2010
samanthab123 BFP 10th February 2010
Cheepz BFP 16th February 2010
redandyellowandpinkandgreen BFP 6th March 2010

Just popping to say hi- will be lurking for next few weeks as on hols in USA. Have just seen a woman rollerblading in tightie whities whilst pushing a double buggy with twins in- felt slightly inadequate to say the least.
Barrenbrook maitri and jollster so sorry for the rotten time you're having - hope you are all being well looked after.
GLB- loved/cringed at the train story- what a nightmare!!! What bloody luck! Priceless!

Red- congrats on the BFP- fingers crossed for you.

Congratulations on the BFP redyellow

I wish I could be thinking about cycle days and all that fun. Another blood test on Wednesday to see how my HCG levels are falling. This process takes ages, and then I still have to wait until end of May before we can start trying again!

Big congrats to red! Wow this thread is full of so much news. Hope everyone is ok this eve. I'm still waiting on AF but it's early days yet, trying to stop myself hoping I'm pregnant again, it's hard thou. One thing I do have is unexplained excema (spelling?!) never had it before - I guess I'm more stressed out than I realised. Take it easy all cx

congrats to redandyellow - hopefully it will be lovely and cosy in there and decide to hang about for the next 8 months or so.

Here is your wine - hippy hands wine to G1lda - can't imagine how you slipped that into the conversation!!!!

Love to all on this saturday evening.

I am still bleeding!!! Argghh - it's not a lot, but it's enough to need a sani pad and to make me worry that they didn't get everything out during the eprc. did another preg test and definitely neg so surely that means it's all gone - doesn't it???

I am just hoping that once AF arrives she will clear everything out and I can start from scratch. At what point should I ask for a scan to check nothing remains ?? It's been just under 3 weeks since eprc.

Hope everyone is ok - I know it's all pants but hopefully you are all at least feeling supported and loved.

Still no AF. Would be more impressed if I hadn't got a BFN on a test earlier (not FMU, but I got a BFP with random mid afternoon wee in both previous pregnancies a couple of days before I was due). Ah well, as long as there's no AF there's hope I suppose .

Message withdrawn