Page 37 | To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 2010-02-16T10:56:36+00:00

Ok fellow ditherers, as we have filled up one thread (and still not made too many firm decisions) here's another one for us to continue to procrastinate and worry on. Here's to more monitoring of relative green and redness, mutual support and occassional chivving, discussion of everything baby or not baby related, and perhaps even our first BFP...?

confuseddoiordonti · 02/03/2010 21:50

You watching? That Kelly made it look as easy as having a poo. Unfortunately, Joy's experiences seem to be somewhat different. Not sure if this programme makes me broody or want to book myself in to be sterilised!

Original poster

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 02/03/2010 21:05

I hope you are right about the offers of help coming flooding in once the deadline is known Confused. In the interim, I'm hoping that DH starts getting on with jobs a bit quicker!

Was going to post detailed response about what a BFP feels like, but OBEM is starting and I think I'd best pay attention this time! So far its a combination of scarey, eciting and odd. And I have the most painful boobs ever...

Right time to watch the scenes of painful labour - too late to pull back now!

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confuseddoiordonti · 02/03/2010 20:26

A bonfire baby - whoopeee!

I think I explained it badly, or at least too scantily, re my mum. She too was saying there is never a time when everything is in the right place to have a baby as you'll always come up with something that's to be done / sorted out etc, but was I was then saying that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to in the first place, which prompted her to say, rather more eloquently, 'don't do it then.' I would explain the conversation in more detail if I could but the, er, wine consumption has made my memories a bit more sketchy than they should have been.

I agree, it should be LST next month but then it's a free for all - how many cardigans can you rustle up Suerock?! Am happy to do fimo figurines too but they aren't really appropriate.

Suerock as for your baby vs career quandry, any further thoughts or developments? I hope you don't answer this till at least tomorrow (or late tonight) as you're too busy having a large glass of wine at the end of this shitty day x

So, this BFP business - please talk me through every bloody second! I have always found it quite interesting but have never quizzed pregnant friends too much on account of it not being compatible with my 'I don't want babies' persona It does sound as if you're going to have your work cut out re the house, but it's amazing what you can get done when you really really have to! (Trust me, I know these things!) I hope you have plenty of people you can rope into helping you too - perhaps there will be more volunteers once you've 'come out' about the looming inflexible deadline - I hope so!

My DH is upstairs drawing out plans for our bathroom in the 'new house' (getting ahead of ourselves - surely not?!) with renewed DIY enthusiasm! The bathroom in the house is currently in the attic for some weird reason so we are moving it downstairs to the spare bedroom (which has a sink and a decrepid shower in at the moment) so it will be a big and luxurious one! We too have several volunteers to help us do things but whether this will actually come to fruition remains to be seen (I think it's more likely to in your case though.)

Original poster

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 02/03/2010 20:05

Oh Suerock, that's such a rotten thing to happen. What are your job options at the moment? I'm sorry, but I've forgotten just what you do, I thought it was an academic type job, but I might be getting mixed up with LST and HP. I really hope you can find something suitable to move on to.

Confused, sounds like you've hit the housing jackpot. Hopefully your house will sell really quickly and you can be off to the sunny North and building your nest asap.

Re your Mum's advice about not going for it whilst you have doubts, I'm not sure if i concur. I think you do need to be in a position of some security (so well on your way to hebden bridge, for example) but not absolute security and certainty - I don't think we ever achieve that.

We do worry a lot about being in the right place financially, or in our careers, but I think all that matters is what your emotional status is. Are you secure in your relationship with your DH and does you think you have the emotional resources to cope with the unexpected. Then, regardless of the state of your house (we currently have an incomplete bathroom, a kitchen that is falling to bits, a load of rubble in the dining room, three bedrooms that require decorating and carpets of such antiquity that they have holes in), your finaces (still Â£8k of debt and more to come to fund all the required rennovations - see above ), or your career (just spent 6 months getting to grips with my job, will spend the next 6 months preparing to handover - work are going to love me ), you will be ready to deal with whatever motherhood can throw at you.

I may be in the BFP vanguard on this thread, but I expect you all to follow me eventually! Fingers crossed is you next month LST. In the meantime, hopefully I can provide you with an interesting case study to help inform your TTC decision-making.

I've just come back from a celebratory trip to the pub (pie, but no pint for me) with DH. Our appointment at the doctors was brief, but successful. Instead of getting a referal to the fertility unit, I've got one to the community midwife. First appointment is 22nd April. DH has decreed that we can't tell anyone till then. I think it might be a challenge keeping it from my mum, but I'll try. Spent most of the time talking about how we are going to fund and complete all the work still required in our house. I'm hoping this is the catalyst DH needed in order to leap into DIY action!

Oh, nearly forgot, due date is 6th November. I am currently 4+3 (which translates to about 2 1/2 weeks pregnant).

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confuseddoiordonti · 02/03/2010 18:48

Suerock I am SO sorry! Are you okay? (If that's not too stupid a question) Sending you one of those internet hugs x

Suerock · 02/03/2010 18:07

YTD and confused - brilliant for both of you!

Sorry to be the skellington at the party, but I've just lost my job so am facing a baby vs. career dilemma

But The Cardigan will get finished - never fear!

confuseddoiordonti · 02/03/2010 15:39

Managed to do any work yet?! I am SO chuffed for you, I really am!

As for previous catch up posts, I wanted to add that I have had acupuncture and think it's amazing. I have a recurring problem with my knee and hip and had tried all manner of things, but 4 acupuncture sessions sorted it out. I also know a surgeon who's a convert too, for the more scientific of you, which I think must be a pretty good sign of it being something worth bothering with.

We (hopefully - god, I'll be gutted if we don't) have decided on a house! It's the first one we looked at which needs loads of work. We had a look at some others in the area and, Christ, they were grim. Varying degree's of pokey, badly laid out and dark or damp (or both!) The one we have decided to go for needs gutting and starting over but has massive potential and, after seeing the others, is a bloody bargain! Also, I can't wait to move now - I really can't! We had a wander about Hebden on Sunday night and the place has a real buzz about it - all the restaurants are busy, which is fab for a Sunday night at the end of Feb, and the place is thriving. We walked along the canal with the dog (she loves it too!) and had a mini pub crawl and a big explore. Our house is hopefully going on the market this weekend and I don't think it'll be on for too long. We went back and spoke to the man who's house it is we want to buy (the estate agent was a tosser so would rather deal with the man who's living there.) We told him we wanted to make an offer there and then but told him our house will be on this week etc etc. He didn't want to discuss money but did say he'd put any offers to one side for us (and also admitted we were the only one of two couples who had come for a second viewing) and he seemed to like us, and we liked him which was nice. It's his mothers house (well, was his mothers house) and we ended up having a cup of tea and talking about all manner of things, rather than just house buying which seemed to help things along. (We both think he's a nice bloke too so didn't just sit there for the sake of being polite.) So, we are now trying to reign in the decorating ideas for now but it's going to be a struggle!

Another thing, I was a bit pissed (ok, a lot) and ended up talking about my baby quandries with my mum (who was also thankfully a bit pissed.) I told her I couldn't decide etc etc and time was running out blah blah blah and she seemed to think I'd be better off not going for it if I had doubts. Hmmm. Not sure if she said this as it would have the opposite effect - only just considered this now as I wrote it down.

Original poster

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 02/03/2010 10:26

Thanks ladies,

Sat at my desk at work, stupid grin on my face, getting hardly any work done. Still can't believe its really happened.

Will be keeping my appointment at the doctors. I may as well turn my fertility referral appointment into a pregnancy confirmation appointment!

Phyisically I still feel abit like my period is goign to turn up any moment. Got lots of PMT type aches. The only sign I have that hints at pregnancy is an incredibly tender bosom. DH has confirmed my suspicion that they are slightly larger than usual. I am starting to feel quite anxious about the possible boob growth growth. If they are getting bigger at only 2 weeks gone, I fear I could be very buxom by the time I'm ready to expel the bean.

Apart from that I feel no different. No enhanced sense of smell, sickness or funny cravings. Pregancy head might be setting in early though - I made myself a packed lunch this morning and then left it on the kitchen table!

Right, really must try and do some work. I have a meeting in 5 minutes, so I can pretend to be competent and efficient for an hour or so. I think the chances of me getting any real work done are somewhat slender today...

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confuseddoiordonti · 02/03/2010 09:14

I was going to read up and post properly when not at work but I can't read and run this time, of all times! YTD CONGRATULATIONS!! Blimey, I am DELIGHTED for you! Yikes! How are you feeling (physically; we can probably guess how you are faring mentally!)? What did the doc's say? And lastly, before I need to go and do some work, will you be asking for rabbits, rainbow stripes or something else for your cardigan?

Back later this afternoon as lots to report but nothing as momentous as YTD's news...

HoneyPetal · 02/03/2010 07:33

PS. I would still go to the appointment, it's worth going to speak to someone in person, as it were.

HoneyPetal · 02/03/2010 07:16

Oh my gooooooodddddnesssss!!!

That's INCREDIBLE news.

Oh, I've gone all wobbly!!!!

Massive Internet hugs.....congratulations, petal, I'm so pleased for you. A BFP!! And just before your appointment (I knew it!!).

I will be back later, but in the meantime, try not to worry about anything, enjoy the moment and have a lovely day.

xxx HP-SP

Original poster

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 02/03/2010 07:07

Ladies, the cardigan is mine!!

I now have two pregnancy tests lined up on top of the loo, both with double lines. Looks like I didn't dream it after all.

Spent most of the night worrying about the rickety state of our finances, the level of work that has to be done in the house (now to a very tight deadline!), and the mechanics of getting the baby out at the end (had just watched the replay of One Born Every Minute on 4OD).

Plenty of things could go wrong yet, so I don't want to get too giddy. I am only 2 weeks pregnant, 40% of pregnancies don't get to full term, so there is a distinct possibility that this one might not stick. However, there is a higher probability that it could go on to produce a fully functioning child, so I'll try not to over worry.

My main dilema now is should I keep my appointment at the doctors this evening? We were supposed to be getting our refferal to the fertility clinic today. Should I turn up any way and let them know it won't be required?

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LeviStubbsTears · 01/03/2010 23:52

OMG!! How exciting!! Your symptoms sound exactly like the Real Thing. The early bleeding and the sore boobs - certainly sounds like it. I don't want to tempt fate, but the cardigan (the Yellow Jersey of TTC...) seems like it's yours! I won't say congratulations yet but keeping absolutely everything crossed for you - would be lovely news for the first day of spring. Do do do keep us posted. LST xxx

Original poster

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 01/03/2010 22:41

Sorry for radio silence all week. I've had a pretty busy week with work, then family visits at the weekend, so today is my first time online for a week. News from me is that our appointment at the GPs last week has been rescheduled to tomorrow (owning to my work schedule changing on Monday). Other news of note is that I am on CD31, which is the longest cycle length I've had since starting to chart. I had some bleeding at 5 days past ovulation and have had cramps and a very sore bosom all weekend. All of which has been enough to inspire mild optimism.

I tested yesterday - got a BFN. As I'm now on my longest cycle since detailed records began (in September ), I though I'd have another POAS with an cheap ebay test before going to bed. Fully expected another BFN, but instead got a very very faint second line.

Too early to tell. It might be a false positive, it is a cheap test after all.

But I might be a contender for that cardigan afterall...

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AmandaCooper · 28/02/2010 00:44

I have no idea when DH's clean up threshold is... always assumed he didn't have one! It's longer than three days though, I know that for a fact!

HoneyPetal · 27/02/2010 23:06

No, I'm still here. Watching 'The Break Up' on ITV and thinking I should go to bed.

One Born Every Minute is on 4 On Demand, I think. I was on there earlier seeing if Embarassing Bodies is on there. Now that is graphic. The weak of stomach should avoid at all costs!

'Talking to the mums' is sweet, and kind of the exact opposite to what we are!! I really, really hate the thought of DH ever having a mooch in these parts and finding us.

I am much more tidy than DH. His clean-up threshold is about three days after mine. I'm having a clean tomorrow, it's crap weather and I'm a bit bored so may as well do out a cupboard!

LeviStubbsTears · 27/02/2010 22:32

Me too, HP (though you probably left ages ago). DH is on a plane to the West coast of America. What are you up to? I'm sadly thinking tomorrow is going to have to be devoted to dealing with the fairly horrendous state of the house (in the knowledge that it will stay at least a little bit tidy for the week DH is away, at least, and so there's some incentive to sort it). Is anyone else a bit of a sloven on the quiet? (I suspect it may be just me...)

Am wishing we'd recorded One Born Every Minute (is it on IPlayer?) as I'm quite intrigued by all the comments. The only time we're in front of the tv these days we're committed (almost grimly!) to getting through more episodes of the West Wing, as it's taken us literally years to get through four series and there are still three in the box set to go! (Am enjoying it really.) Still, am wondering whether seeing stuff about childbirth is a good idea at the moment.

For no reason I thought I should share with you all an exchange I had with DH the other day: he saw me on Mumsnet (don't worry, he has no interest in reading the thread) and said 'Oh, are you talking to the mums again?' I had to point out that you weren't mums, and that was the point... I don't think he quite got that, but I don't think he's sufficiently interested (in the nicest possible way) to want to learn more, perhaps just as well!

Anyway, enough pointless rambling from me for one evening...

HoneyPetal · 27/02/2010 21:22

Is anyone around? Am home alone for the weekend.

LeviStubbsTears · 26/02/2010 10:06

Hi all,

Yay, confused!! That's great news. Down to all your hard work thus far, no doubt. How exciting - hope that opens up some further possibilities for the new place. Or, as HP says, just allows a buffer for fun things (or future plans.... [meaningful look]). Like HP, I wish DH would be a bit more houseproud, and be motivated to find a solution to the muddy-bike-in-hall problem, for instance, but he has sorted out our boiler problems recently (traditional division of roles, us?!), which is a godsend.

I am experiencing a challenge to my hardened scepticism about any sort of alternative medicine - had acupuncture on Monday (to prepare for forthcoming treatment), and for the next few days and nights was calmer and slept better than I have for months. This could have been because I had a bit of a break last week, or simply a placebo effect, but it really was quite uncanny and quite unexpected. I like the woman who does it, and she doesn't charge you for the first few sessions (after which you could do a runner without paying as nothing is written down so I thought that was quite confident on her part that you'd get something out of her treatment). I imagine the scientists among you might be a bit dubious though - any thoughts, anyone?

(I also - and this is where it does sound a little crazy - have two tiny seeds under plasters stuck to 'acupressure points' on my ear (and looking rather horrible, I fear, though seeds and plasters v. small). I'm supposed to press them three times a day. )

Hope you're ok, Suerock - you sound a bit preoccupied and stressed (unsurprisingly). And hello again, Seagreen! It's been a while. Hope all's good - can't work out if I'm envious or not that you're travelling with work. Sounds at least semi-fun?

Hope you all have a great weekend. DH is off to Seattle for work (am quite envious of that one...) on Saturday, so it's going to be a quiet one, but actually quite looking forward to having the house to myself for a bit (is that terrible?!).

SeaGreen · 25/02/2010 20:51

[ hello all ] just a quick one to say hi and that i am still alive! have been travelling with work lots, and more planned this month so will probably be out of circulation for a bit.
take care.. i can see i have lots to read through and catch up on!!

Suerock · 25/02/2010 18:12

Colour? Colourless. Not really thinking about babies right now, though did have it brought forcibly to mind when trying to find my way out of a hospital this afternoon - only to end up in the antenatal suite by mistake.... Must be some sort of homing instinct, like pigeons. Or something.

Anyway, will be back and taking sense again (maybe) next week.

HoneyPetal · 24/02/2010 21:50

Ok, the iPod has spell checked me...should be

Tee hee and tosser

HoneyPetal · 24/02/2010 21:47

That's great news, hurrah! DH must be chuffed as well

Does that mean you will be looking at a bigger house, or is it more money in the pot for smaller mortgage/renovations/baby fund (tee her)?

Haven't watched this weeks program yet. DH is away this weekend so will have a catch up. Not massively impressed with the men they have shown so far. Poor girl married to that tossed Steve has my every sympathy. And the others have been a bit damp. Although I do love Fabio and Joy-less. Bless her and all of her pillows. The 20 year old Sam (?) really shocked me, apparently according to the thread on here that was critisising her, you can have something called a back-to-back labour, which is like having your guts ripped out from the first contraction.

Colour, anyone ?

confuseddoiordonti · 24/02/2010 18:59

Ohmygoodness! Our house has been valued at £25k MORE than we bargained for - hooooorah!

Delighted! The agent showed me lots of others in the area and showed ours is a bit cheaper as it's a bit smaller but is also more likely to sell as it is that bit cheaper - as well as being a lovely house!

So chuffed! Having an open house viewing day a week on Saturday and he thinks he will sell pretty quickly. Lots of viewings out the way on the one day sounds better than spreading them out.

Did any of you watch One Born Every Minute last night? I wanted to thump the man with the big ears and felt a lump im my throat when their baby was born as he didn't look okay - that is probably as we don't generally see them like that, they are usually a lot more cleaned up and with it

confuseddoiordonti · 23/02/2010 16:02

HP be careful what you wish for! Our duvet cover at the moment is a plain cream one from M&S. He seems to think we're trying to pass an exam rather than sell the bloody house! He'll be bringing home scatter cushions next! Anyway, thankfully he didn't go in the end (ie didn't want to be subjected to endless ridicule!) and went out instead.

I have got back and tidied up and the house is looking lovely (despite not having new bedding and even though one of the tiles under the bath is cracked.) They are due any minute so am looking forward to hearing what they say, but I think, due to the other houses nearby which are similar going so quickly we ought to be okay with this one...