To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

LST your views are very much along the same lines as mine! I have said this to my mum too but she doens't seem to agree in the slightest. You can have similar births to your mothers experiences, yes, but not in my case as I am diabetic. (Hate being fucking diabetic sometimes!)

It does very much seem like lots of stitches, interventions and so on is the norm and not really considered a big deal. Personally, I find the very idea of someone coming at my bits with a pair of scissors horrific and find the idea that of it all being so bad that someone coming at my bits with some scissors would be the least of my problems even more horrific!

Is it injections time next week, LST? I seem to recall it's close to the end of the month...

I like your mum's optimism, confused, and her own positive experiences, but I'm afraid like you the majority of my real life examples are pretty bad. I don't know anyone who had a fast first birth, and the majority of my friends had interventions and many of them (quite a surprising number) emergency caesareans. Many of those who didn't end up with a caesarean had tears or were cut. My mum was cut and had forceps to deliver me (I'm the eldest), and the same happened to my sister, so that's what I'm expecting, tbh, or something similar if I ever get there. I can think of 6 people straight off who had 36 hour+ labours - that seems to be almost the norm for the first baby as it takes so long to go into 'real' labour. The first 12 hours or so I guess weren't that bad but the whole process often involved missing out on a night or two of sleep so it was the exhaustion by the end as much as the pain that made it tricky.

OK, this is probably the gloomiest end of the spectrum but I've just been amazed by how many of my friends had what seemed to me like a horrible time (as I've said on here before). And it wasn't even deemed a particularly bad outcome (and certainly neither they nor their babies were in any danger at any stage, I should point out, so the ultimate outcome was obviously ok).

I think genes probably play quite a big part in it - if your mum had a fairly easy time, confused, then you might well too (if/when you get there?!). One of my very few friends who had a reasonably good first experience said her mum had good and fairly easy births every time (and she had six kids!).

Anyway, I've probably got an overly pessimistic view of things so v. glad of any stories to the contrary (and am not meaning to be scary/unhelpful for our mums-to-be - 'my friends' is hardly a statistically significant category, and obviously I am remembering the bad ones, and forgetting the good ones, if I even heard about the good ones). I am just of a personality type that likes to be prepared and fear (and know) the worst so that whatever happens, more or less, I'll be at least a bit prepared.

Don't know why I'm talking as though this might be a reality - I'm so far from this point! Haven't even started my injections yet (STILL)...

Anyway, will write properly soon, but best of luck with the appt, HP and getting to the bottom of things (so to speak...) and hope things are ok, Seagreen - nice to have you back with us. And hope the BFPs are feeling good, and dealing with tiredness, and enjoying their cravings as far as possible!

Hey, that wasn't that massive! Good to hear from you Seagreen!

Weekly weigh in is good but I don't own scales. On purpose. There is one in Boots I could use I guess though. A word (disclaimer) while insulin does make you put it on and make it harder to get off, I can't really blame my post pregnancy (it looks post pregnancy, and that's not a joke or exaggeration) on it - the booze, cheese and so on play a larger part. As we are both dog owners I take it you too do plenty of exericse (this is what pisses me off, I move far more than most people) with all the walking? Admittedly, a have to make sure I have had lots of long acting carbs before I, say, go for a run which means I don't really burn any off so I think I'm going to have to really watch it with the food. Arse. Still, feeling utterly revolting is worse than watching what you eat, no?

Going to go and read the stuff about staying overnight in wards and then, as I am in a veguely green mood, perhaps check out those baby clothes links...

i meant LQ up there, not LP !

* Massive Post alert Weeks of suppressing MNing desires poured out below so dive in at your own peril !! *

HP well at least you are getting it sorted now- so better late than never. Have you thought of trying one of those Fertility tracker type thingies?
LP at the thought of flashing the entire triathlon team! I had my own Yikes moment last week when while swimming, I gaped at someone by the side of the pool that I thought I knew, and made an incomprehensible noise (GNGNHHH about sounds like it) then realised they weren?t anyone I knew OR I looked like an alien in my swim cap and goggles and they hadn?t recognised me. I wasn?t really gaping- am quite blind without my contact lenses! I don?t suppose it?s time for a maternity swimsuit though for you is it?
YTD what kitchen is it? And what scheme? Have been poring over the ikea kitchen catalogue (can?t afford right now but always fun to read!). how did it feel changing nappies ? are you a dab hand or new to the nappy world? And are you thinking of going the cloth or non-cloth way?
Confused do you want to do a weekly weigh in and we can compare? and as HP said, don?t be too hard on yourself. My stomach at the moment looks like Hannah Waterman?s pic too. And I don?t know of any medical condition that?s making me put on weight except PCOS so I really have no excuse. Here I go talking about myself again so will stop now.
Suerock where are you? hope all is well.. chin up girl!
Have you guys read the news about fathers being able to stay overnight in wards ? LQ, YTD I am assuming this may help you! when are you due, both? I?m sorry if this has already come up and I?ve missed it. Oh and for you expectant mums, here are some awesome links:
A link to a site that gives out discount codes etc for baby stuff: baby cheapskate
ecofashion rocks- - fantastic site with great idea- new, barely worn and pre-used baby clothes for great prices- apparently some of them have the tags on!- here is where they explain how it works.
I figure these sites are a boon in these times. They?re on my favourites list and I?m not even TTC yet. How SAD am i? Oh and I bought another baby tee- from H&M this time. Bargain price of £2!

Just remembered what it was I was going to post (I'd thought of it at work and then sat on front of the laptop and my mind went blank.)

Spoke to my mum last night who told me that her friends daughter had a little boy yesterday. She went to hospital at 9am and had the baby at 12.30 - and it was all dead easy, no stitches or anything, only gas and air and the baby was 8lb something. The reason my mum said this is because she thinks the majority of births are like this, she had three of us and never needed major pain relief or stitching up, and I (we?) are led to believe that birth is a far more painful and dramatic process than it actually is. She said that even full on contractions weren't unbearable and it wasn't too bad anyway as you had gaps in between. I have also discussed OBEM and she thinks it is all drama'ed up for the cameras as that's what makes it interesting etc etc. I agree the last point is true but out of all the people I know, and the girl who had the baby yesterday is included in this, only two have had births that were that simple and straightforward. Others have involved all sorts of scary and nasty things (before, during and after) which we all know about and I won't go into as I don't need to. Not only do I have the experiences of my friends to go by, but I have also read a lot of the threads on here and most of then hardly make it sound like having a big poo either.
So, in the spirit of research, do many of you have friends who have had a similar idealistic exerience like the two (yes, TWO) people I know or, er, not?

Wayward busoms, fast food fetishes and crazy temping - what a lively thread this is at the moment! Well, lively ish.

HP while you have funny temps, do you feel different? Weird? Hormonal? I ask as I felt no different apart from randier (TMI!) and that was it. Talking of which, how's the libido (spot aside, obviously)?

Have strange urge to consume a nasty mass produced burger. Urgh! I hope cravings aren't catching as a burger lust is the last thing I need at the moment! (Talking of which, have been very good and done my arm toning exercies today - as bossily instructed to by DH - well done me!)

I have no made an appointment at the GP's yet and think, due to all I have on this week, it'll have to wait a bit anyway. Still feel odd going when it's not a frequent occurance but, when I read what I've said here, it does seem a bit dumb not to bother. Will be very interested to see how you get on with your appointment.

Uncontrollable boobs? What have I missed? Ahh, LQ in a swimming costume.

I bet loads of people crave crap in the first few months, as when you are feeling rubbish whatever takes your fancy is the best thing to scoff. Most of the burger pleasures are denied to me (for example, I have never tasted a Big Mac) but some establishments sling a weird pea-burger in a bun and pour some mayo on it, so I get by. We tend to plan food badly for long journeys and end up popping into McD or BK, propelled by low blood sugar and a short memory of the last long journey!

My first cycle post-Pill is officially crazy. I had a massive temp jump on CD10, so FF put me at ovulating on CD9. But I had another big jump this morning (CD14), which would be more convincing if the lousy cheepo thermometer I am using gave slightly more consistent data. No two measurements are the same, from one minute to the next. So either I have ovulated twice or my body is correcting itself or the thermometer needs slinging. I vote for the latter.

I have made an appointment with the gynae GP for the back end (phnar phnar) of next week. I am armed with the endometriosis fact sheet and questionnaire that I have filled in. I will not leave until she has promised to investigate this. I got a bit weepy (on the inside) last night as I berated myself for not going to find out what is going on sooner. I felt a bit foolish for spending all this time agonising over whether I should have a baby or not, whilst at the same time having a l-o-n-g standing health problem in that area and not pursuing it. Although I have mentioned it to three different doctors who have queried IBS, an acidic stomach and piles as options. Not one of them said anything about the link to my week off the pill.

Anyway, better go home!

Happy Monday? Are you sure there is such a thing?

So, YTD, is this burger craving quite a common symptom? I am guessing, by the fact you called it McMucky's, that you are not a regular burger scoffer? (Neither am I, although I do like 'proper' burgers we make at home.) I dread to think how I'd be as I'd have to be SO careful about keeping blood sugar level that not wanting or eat, or gettimng cravings for things that would make my levels shoot up would make it a bloody nightmare.

LQ, have you managed to get those boobs under control yet?!

Morning ladies

Just a quick post this morning as i need to nip out but thought it would make you laugh to know that I have kept up my swimming as i said i would be looks like i might need a new swimsuit . i practically managed to expose myself to the entire triathlon team as my boobies just wouldnt stay in my swimsuit. Crikey I knew they would get bigger but not quite yet! had to hoik my swimsuit up every time i set off for another length!

Happy monday!

Green, YTD, that's top! Great news that things are moving with the kitchen too.

Off to bed now but DH is away this week so may be posting like mad... hope to see some of you there!

x

Evening all,
I am in far better spirits today than I was yesterday (when I ended up staying in drinking wine and feeling shitty as none of my clothes seemed to fit). I ended up talking (okay, sobbing) at DH about it and also about how unattractive I feel, which then led onto DH saying that he thought I was going off him which is why I didn't want to have sex etc etc. Anyway, still overweight but in a better frame of mind. And DH is being all bossy and getting me to do exercises which tone up my arms - usually when I exercise I go for a run or similar which means I have to have a bowl of cereal or similar first, hence I don't burn off what's already there.

Having dinner now but hope you are all having a nice Sunday!

I am so glad you brought it up (obviously not glad you get the pain). When I read your post I had to re-read it a couple of times because it sounded so similar to my problems, which I have never mentioned to anyone. And I'm glad LQ offered her perspective because that has really pushed me to go to the doctors.

If you had to eat so much to keep your glucose levels in the proper range it's no wonder you put on a bit of weight. If you aren't training as intensively perhaps your body will self-correct a bit. If you just want to lose a few pounds rather than train for a bit event, slow and steady would maybe get you results without risking your glc control? I firmly believe it's easier to do more in the spring and summer months anyway. But regardless of a bit of weight, you will still look great

Well, the reason I'm up so early is we are off out for a walk at the coast. Leaving soon so I'd better get ready!

HoneyPetal CD12, spot = nearly gone, still spotting but apparently in luteal phase

Have a fun day, everyone!

Lovely of you to say HP but the pics you have seen were a while ago and also, and perhaps more of a big deal, I got FATTER when training! And now the fat has gone looser as lost muscle tone! If I was swimming (and bear in in mind I needed to do a mile) I had to have a sarnie, a banana and usually a Snickers both before and after - hence I put it on. It's lovely for you to say, but trust me, I ain't being silly. I wish I bloody was!

Yes, the nurse is more than keen. She is absolutely crap as far as diabetes is concerned but she is nice with her crapness which makes it harder to tell her how awful she is. (She told me to increase my insulin if I went hypo the last time I saw her and when I asked her to repeat that strange bit og advice realised her mistake and said 'no, DEcrease not increase - increase could kill you!' Thank god one of us knows what they are doing!

Right, I shall make an appointment and I am blaming you. Weird that I brought it up and you are the one who actually has the problem that sounds as if it infringes on your life!

Blimey, that nurse sounds a bit keen. Bless her, she probably thought she was being really supportive and encouraging, rather than a bit intense, five more minutes and she might have offered to come and watch you, check you were 'doing it right'. I think giving the impression you are still TTC certainly wouldn't hurt, and it's not like you are still on the pill. If you have the pain and it's being going on for years, you have every right to be checked out.

I told DH that I was Internet hunting and am going to see the doc because I'm concerned that the pain may be endometriosis. He is a bit worried but glad I'm going to see someone, as he has seen (some) of what I go through.

Confused. I've seen the photos, you are lovely. I'm sure you are not fat at all, it's just this time of year we all pile on the pounds - it's after Christmas, it's cold and boring, we crave heavy warming food. And who feels like dieting and exercising now? And the cliche is totally true, it is easier to retain weight and harder to lose it in your thirties . I don't think many people can maintain triathalon levels of health and fitness in the long term, it could just be that you will find a balance that works for you. But don't be too hard on yourself, or you'll have me to deal with (or even YTD, and you don't want her telling you off, it's scary!).

Just read post - would like to say I don't eat too much booze, I eat too much and drink too much booze.

That's cleared that up then.

I guess you are right, I have nothing to loose so maybe I too ought to go and ask a few questions. I shall be sneaky though and not let on that we are not TTC - the last time I was there the (crap) nurse who was doing my diabetes check up's was going on and on about how I'd get pregnant if I relax, need to go on holiday and also asked me at least twice if it was stressing me out that I wasn't pregnant. It must be written very clearly on my notes as the woman seems obsessed with it (urging me to take a urine sample to them for the test, and reassuring me, unprompted, that it 'won't be long' now.) Iffy as this may be, I'd rather they thought that still as it may mean them less dismissive of my rather less dramatic than HP's symptoms. It has gone on for ages for me too, first happened when I was living with S so at least 8 years ago, so maybe best to get investigated.

Am sat at home at the moment drinking wine and feeling fed up with myself. I really need to lose weight, really need to but just can't be arsed. I do lots of exercise and eat pretty well and just don't want to give up the things I really enjoy (late night cheese and biscuits over a glass or two of wine, or several pints in the pub) which must be putting on the weight big time. Forgive the me-me-meing again but this helps... I honestly do look like Hannah Waterman before she did her weight loss stuff - the pic that was everywhere of her in a bikini with her belly hung out and I HATE it. I have both back and front fat, no muscle tone at all and revolting bingo wings and thighs that rub at the top. Oh, and a double chin. Super. I can start running and things again but being diabetic I do need to have enough carbohydrate to stop me passing out before I go so don't really burn off the reserves, and talking of diabetic stuff, insulin also makes you put on weight (one of the ironies of being diabetic, as being fat and diabetic is very bad but insulin can make you put on the weight.) However, who am I kidding, I must be like this as I eat and drink too much booze - and the older you get the easier it is to get on but harder it is to get off. Fucking great.

Cheers

Ok cool.

I know, bless, they are all so young!

Don't worry, you shouldn't apologise for trying to help and motivating me to finally go to the doctors and insist on some investigations. I'm a firm believer in that it's better to know the truth about health stuff. Yes, I am a bit worried now, but not in a over-the-top way as there is no diagnosis yet. I will fully arm myself with the information from that site and take it to the doctors appointment. Hopefully things will be done from there. Even if it isn't endometriosis, it is something that needs looking at because it's quite awful. So, thanks.

The infertility thing is making me think though. I felt awful when I read that. I guess like everyone, I don't want options taken away, even as a hard core ditherer.

Hope you get your due dates sorted, and it's exciting to get your other appointment dates through.

I watched Harry Potter too - they all looked so cute and little!

Hey HP

The last thing I wanted to do was worry you - sorry, its just I thought it better to give you the details of that site so at least you could have a look. I think it at least allows your to arm yourself with some info before seeing the docs as they can sometimes be a bit shit apathetic.

I know its easy for me to say too, but please try not to worry about the infertile thing, its a long long way down the worse case scenario road and there is lots and lots they can do either by taking the pill, other medication to shrink & get rid of the endo cells. Also they can send you for a laparoscopy to have the endo removed so its not at all a finality. i have had people telling me since i was 16 that I might have problems getting pregnant and look at what's happened now! I was also pregnant when I was about 21 but had a v early miscarriage.

I am watching Harry Potter at the moment, this sounds terrible but it is about as scary a film as I can take (and even then at certain points I have to look away from the screen.)

YTD yes, thats the same calculator that I used - i think on both you could specify cycle length and i used 28 days (although not 100% sure that is how long my cycle is) and it came up different - strange! Also more news in the appointment front, I got my appointment letter yesterday from the midwife (19/4) and the scan at Kings (28/4).

Hows your kitchen shopping going? I love that kind of stuff - how exciting!

I am signed off still at the moment, have another week off next week but would probably like to go back the week after. Things are still a mess there but having met with my boss last week I think they may have realised the pressure I was under, so that feels like a big relief.

I think it's worth going along and having a consultation. What do you have to lose? I am definitely going to make an appointment, as I can't ignore how many of my symptoms match up. It even says on that website LQ directed us to (thank goodness!) that you might faint with the pain - which I did. I always thought it was weird it happens mostly when I'm bleeding. Call myself a scientist? Why have I not looked more into this, even to rule it out?

Bit scared about the word 'infertile'.

Bloody hell. My appointment letter hasn't even come through for the dermatologist, and now this!

Have you found a new kitchen yet, YTD?

Hmm, I am not convinced either way re endometriosis. I get pain, acute, occasionally but only lasting a short amount of time in the middle of the night (usually) and have very light periods (well, quite light.) I can't work out if I am assuming it must be endometriosis as I cannot fathom what else it can be, but also am not sure what I have is often enough or regular enough to make it worth a trip to the doc's. As I said, I have mentioned it twice before and they didn't seem too fussed either way but maybe that is due to, after the event (as in the middle of the night gaspyness) it doesn't seem that big a deal. It's not like it infringes on my life, as such, it's just an occasional short burst of nastyness. HP, you situation is waaaaay more severe than mine.

All of a quandry now.

This is naughty I know, but the doc's are under the impression we are currently TTC anyway so wonder if the occassional pain combined with lack of pregnancy may make them more likely to investigate? (I didn't tell them we are putting it on hold due to dithering and cash as it didn't seem right still going to the pre natal appointments if it was only for curious reasons.) I am thinking that it might make them more likely to check things out sooner rather than later as I am notm yet, pregnant whereas normally my doc's are a bit apathetic (they'd prescribe painkillers and send you on your way.)

HP one last thing - and sorry if I have already said this but can't be arsed reading through - when I came off the pill my real cycle was no different to my pilled up cycle so you may well have a similar scenario going on. (I had no spotting or anything either.)

YTD good luck with the kitchen shopping! We went to a fabulous reclaim place the other day and now can't wait to get stuck into our next house. Have been sneakily taking pics of what we like so we can emulate it when the time comes. It can't come soon enough!

Shit. I just had a look at that website, and I'm afraid what I described yesterday matches up to a lot of the symptoms. Right. I'm making an appointment with the gynae specialist GP at my practice for ASAP. Oh bugger. I assumed this was a bowel problem, because that's where the pain is centred.

Ok. I'm not going to worry because I need to speak to a doctor, and try to get a diagnosis, but no matter what I want a referal to someone, as clearly I've let this ride for too long. Even if I'm prodded and poked, someone is having a look up there to see what's going on. If this is the problem a) I'm a bit angry that all my docs have done nothing, and b) coming off the pill probably isn't going to make any difference, is it?

What are you going to do, Confused?

Had my third high temp today. Fertility Friend thinks I ovulated, on Day 9. Seems a bit quick. But I'm not complaining. Will keep temping and see what happens.