To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

oh and how is that for lust killer- DH and i on couch- things getting hot and heavy- and the dog comes and starts begging for a treat!! he groans!

so drunk!! feeling v. emotional.
thanks all of you. it's great to have a non-judgemental forum where one can share one's very deepest thoughts.
also, it's great to be able to down bacardis without thinking twice because one isn't expecting! don't get me wrong. i am at a place where i see a pram with a baby and i am drawn to it though i try not to stare. really, REALLY green. but there are some benefits to not TTCing and not being preggers.
ok.. will now shut up and stem this drunken outpouring before talk sh*t.
am not an alcoholic. painfully aware this is my second post when high. just that being drunk gets me all sentimental and i am inevitably on my computer and want to post something. which ends up being something like this.
they did joke in college that it was enough to get to me to sniff the bottle and that they could then drink the rest
xx

ok- whichever way this goes- i can see HP you've had some horrible experiences where busybodies have leapt on you for speaking your mind - just want to say, from my side, whether you're pregnant and i'm not, or i'm pregnant and you're not, i won't be yelling at you for expressing either anti-baby or pro-baby sentiments!
and if you want to take a break from the thread, i respect that.
take care till you post again.
xx

SeaGreen, I think you have misunderstood. Im not getting upset with any green posts, or indeed any random posts - why would I be? Part of the reason I am on MN is that I have moments/days of wanting a baby. I hoped I had made that clear in my previous posts.

I am concerned that if people have always been or are now fully green, they will then find the discussions about reasons not to have a baby, which we have had, (as well as reasons to have a baby) upsetting. I have been yelled at for trying to talk about my concerns on other threads by very angry women who want a baby more than anything. Also, some of the reasons not to have a baby are personal and graphic, such as physical stuff etc.

Splinter thread implies conflict, where I hope there is none. To be honest, are we really a big enough group to need two threads?

Look, this is all getting a bit out of hand. As far as I am concerned, the subject can be closed if it is only myself (and possibly LST, although I wouldnt dream of speaking for her) with these concerns.

I will really miss you all but I think a break is now def in order. Who knows, I may get knocked up accidently in the coming months, as my doctor just suggested was likely to happen, although my current slight PMT suggests it isnt this month . xx

Happy easter, all!
took a long walk today and had an ice cream too
So - people- what do we do- should we form a general splinter thread then, and leave this as the Ditherers thread? and what should we call the splinter thread?
tempted to start a splinter thread called "Splinter thread from Confuseddoiordonti's thread".
Views please?
because (a) i definitely don't want to upset HP or anyone else with my posts, which from time to time are more green than red (b) am sure no one else here wants to either (c) i definitely dont want to miss being able to post all sorts of random stuff to all you guys, and want YTD and LQ to have a thread which is their comfort zone!

confused - would not be strange at this rate if i did, but i assure you, i don't

Hi All.

I popped in to see what was happening, and saw all the discussion following my post. Sorry, perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it.

When I first wandered in to MN I'm not sure what I was looking for. Information, probably, initially. I saw the 'Waiting to TTC' thread and although the posters seemed nice, I just couldn't relate to it. They were everything I wasn't - counting down to TTC, excited, determined, happy, most of them were sure. Hence my original thread and the undercurrent of 'what is wrooooonnng with meeeee??'.

I was so pleased when Confused kicked off the 'TTCornottoTTC" thread, hurrah, a kindred spirit in indecision and worry and occasional green-ness. And I felt the two threads served different purposes, as no-one would be offended by the occasional anti-baby sentiment (Birth Trauma website, anyone?) on here, whereas that would go down like a lead balloon on the babydust threads.

Believe it or not, that was actually nine months (ironically) ago, not six, since C and I started chatting (I checked!). And in that time, we have formed a group and I feel very close in an internet way to many of you , and I'm beyond grateful for all the support, discussions and time we have spent with eachother, as a small group. A very small group, in fact, compared to most other threads.

Maybe Amanda is right, it was inevitable that some people would move on and some wouldn't. Maybe I'm just sad that it isn't me excitedly twanging my ovaries. But I think this has happened on other threads as well - for example the BESHies found that when they started to get pregnant, it was better to set up a pregnant BESH thread rather than upset struggling BESHies. So its not just us.

Im not sure when the solution is. I still maintain that its a bit harder posting less-than-green thoughts given the current energy, and LST has picked up on this as well. Perhaps if its all out in the open, and everyone knows and agrees to a set of general guidelines, that will sort it out? Just to stop some of us worrying that we may offend with our views, as this (hopefully) remains the Ditherers thread, not a Waiting to TTC thread? Like YTD says, we are not here biding our time to conception, as there is a real possibility that some of us on this thread may decide not to have a baby at all.

I'll stop wittering on now. I hope you are all having a fun easter and don't feel too sick after lots of chocolate.

PS. CD27. 14DPO. Temp still high. And have strong pills from the doc to hopefully help with the mystery pain.

Seagreen the coincidences between you and I are not suprising me any more!

Are you sure you don't actually have a border collie and live in Bristol too?

Can't write more at the moment, will tomorrow or day after at the latest

Hi Ruby,

I'm also newish here, and going to start TTC in July, am sure you will be fine and everything will go to plan, that's what we are hoping for anyway :D

hello RubyRubes and welcome!!

Hi, my first post ever on this site

Myself and partner have decided to start trying for a baby, in June. Am 31 (still feel 24 though!) and although nervous, feel i must get on with this before everything dries up down there, plus although i dont have an obvious ticking clock (and no broodiness when i see babies)i think that i'd like to have a baby and that i have a little something to offer it (if indeed we are luck enough to conceive. So i'm taking my folic acid and will wait til june to try
Not sure what else i can do at this stage, but wait and hope we dont have any complications (although i am convinced that we wont be able to have kids as you read all these stories about nice people that can't have children...but i'm trying to stay a bit optimistic)

• sorry confused if that came across as a i'm-trying-to-trump-your-post, post.

umm. confused

what i had never mentioned here- i had begun writing a ..book (for lack of better word, since it didn;t progress beyond 30 pages) which starts with the same premise i.e. the female protagonist breaking up with her boyfriend(first page, as a matter of fact). wasn't really based on me except very loosely. am sure apart from that everything is completely different though!
it hasn't been progressing at all because i've lost the manuscript a few weeks ago.

o-kay. freaked out, a bit, right now- not in a bad way at the moment not sure it will ever get done tbh! i am sure you are far more disciplined than i am. so good luck!!! here's hoping you're the next breakthrough author and one day you pop up on this thread and say 'hey, guess what, XYZ is having a book signing at ...- that's me!'

Afternoon!

My friend and her son are watching a DVD so am secretly MNing! (Friend too hungover to do anything other than watch DVD's at the moment and I have to drag her out later as we have a house viewing at 3.)

I think YTD and LQ have hit the nail on the head. This thread, for me, is about friendship more than anything else. I too want to know how things go with everyone, and not because I am nosey but because I give a shit! Also, it has been great being able to post whatever is winding me up / making me happy / whatever on here and being lucky enough to hear your often wise / funny or whatever is appropriate. Also, we have been regularly 'talking' to one another on an almost daily basis now for close on 6 months which a long time in virtual years, and I am very glad we started.

Will stop now before I get soppy!

As for where I am based, I am currently in Bristol but hoping to move to Hebden Bridge (West Yorkshire) as soon as we sell this house.

The book is coming along slowly, thanks. A bit too slowly really but it's hard to get in the right frame of mind a lot. Also, a lot of the stuff in it is based on what's happened to me, namely the main character spilts with her boyfriend at the start and that is based on me and S. For obvious reasons, it's tricky writing about it at the moment! I also think that discovering Mumsnet hasn't helped progress! Saying all that, it is steady progress of sorts and I'll get there eventually.

All going okay with my friend and, more specifically, her son at the moment - he has been playing with my dog non stop and she is now utterly exhausted and asleep on my feet under the kitchen table, which is amazing considering she hasn't even been out.

Going to go now as don't want friend to come in and see the screen, esp as she might recognise it! (Though she doesn't go on it herself as I asked her.)

Bye for now!

[puts hand up] -in the south east

Well where is everybody based just generally? I'm in West Yorkshire.

oh and confused, when you see this message next week- that's great news about your friend!! sorry in the hulabaloo about analysingour thread i completely missed mentioning it.
oh and love the term 'hatching' almost as much i love 'sproglet' (which is my word of choice and makes me feel less..well icky about the whole thing). it seems more icky the moment you call it 'motherhood' and 'have a baby' and all that. hatch a sproglet, i can deal with that
and here i go throwing the lovely easter smileys hither and thither!

interesting idea, that!

Seagreen with no disrespect to my fellow waiters on the "waiting to TTC" thread, waiting doesn't give you that much to talk about, except how frustrating the whole situation is - which does save you from terrifying boring to death your poor DH who has said quite emphatically many times that he'd much rather have a Porsche 911 rolls eyes.

I really have no idea how I'm going to feel when I've saved up the requisite amount of money and I'm ready to go - but self determining as a ditherer seems like a bad idea - positive thinking and all that! Certainly if someone walked in here now and gave me a cheque for the full amount I'd probably shit myself ha ha.

For a very long time I was a member of another very tightly knit web forum - a couple of my friends from there got me into MN in fact. But on that forum, people met up and were friends in RL as well - don't you guys do that?

Hey amandacooper no problems I know how these things can happen - especially when you are trying to read on the phone.

I just wanted to say that I don't know if me discussing the spotting on here the other night is what was the final thing that may have been think woha - where has our dithering thread gone. I know I could have posted in the main pregnancy section and I am sure that I could have got a nice and supportive response from any of the MNs that were online but I guess the reason I decided to post in here is because even though we don't know each other we are all going through our different struggles and I just trusted the people on here to help and reassure me. So its my long way of saying I agree with SeaGreen & confused that to me its become more about friendship.

confused apologies for not mentioning this before but good news about your friend S.

YTD really pleased to hear about your 1st MW appointment so nice to have something that is enthusiastic!

Updates with me are my parents now know and are thrilled, mum was literally like Tigger and just didnt stop jumping around.

Also good news on the work front: management have agreed that I can move away from that project, hurrah! So all being well I will be going to back to work on tuesday to hopefully being a lot less stressed but probably more tired!

Not sure if I will be on here over the weekend (busy eating chocolate) so if I am not then Happy Easter everyone.

Morning,
I was confused with the cut finger bit too - I thought that AmandaCooper was actually LizardQueenie by a different name!

SeaGreen, that you are with me on the previous post I posted does not suprise me in the least!

I am waiting to hear from the others about this as I was fine how things were so will just go with whatever flow. Not much else I can do really. Fingers crossed I don't end up sat here typing to myself like some mad old woman in the corner

I think I am one of the most red around out of the lot of you - most of you appear to be waiting to conceive more than anything else, and I'm not unless waiting to make a decision whether to TTC counts! Which is probably doesn't...

Am loving these Easter smilies!

Hi amandacooper, funny thing is, i'm not REALLY dithering either- i've been about 90% green all through- but have to wait perforce to TTC for god knows how long- and the 'waiting to TTC' thread was proposed to me when i first starting posting here! but somehow i was drawn to this thread and just didn't end up movig away from here!

Sorry girls maybe I've accidentally cut (last night when I was reading the last couple of days' posts) and pasted (just now) it from earlier in the thread - I'm typing this on my phone. I'm really sorry - it's far from the best extract I could have accidentally done that with.

That's weird - whose is that "Hi confused sorry cross posted... It was light red..." paragraph? I didn't type that!

Hi Seagreen I think you've hit the nail on the head - it's such a lovely thread and it's obvious to anyone reading it what a close, supportive group of friends you've all become. I wouldn't suggest for one minute that you split the group or that anyone should stop posting in here - but the fact is, the thread has moved on from being about hovering around near the starting block, entirely unsure about even taking a little step nearer.
It's about being a wonderful group of friends, helping each other to get up and onto, and even to dive off, the starting block.
Hi confused, sorry cross posted again.

It was light red - like I could have cut my finger. No not going to work tomorrow, still trying to sort out the big fat mess that is work but will put that on hold until i have been reassured about this.

A new ditherers thread (which I am not joining by the way cause I am absolutely definitely not dithering, I am "saving up" and "waiting for the right time" don't you know - ha ha) might be a good thing, not just for HP but also for new ditherers who've just joined MN. There's plenty of time in the working day for people to drop into more than one thread.