To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

I am! Will read then post

hey anyone still online? im waiting for DH to come back from the shops - we've run out of toilet roll & I guess he's buying a pizza as the oven was on full blast burning the oven trays we keep in the bottom!

YTD what's your work area again? that is if you dont mind saying and it wont completely out you. Just curious as it sounds like something I worked on before. Well done with the proper meal! Thanks for your good luck wishes.

confused totally in agreement about your mates child, I don't think that makes a child disadvantaged to be an only child, in fact I agree that saying that too them would only make them play on it.

Seagreen re bosoms: well i cant be seen to letting myself go (not just yet anyway).

Love it! No idea what it means, but love it all the same!

And congratuations on cooking and serving some real food!

Plan B - not going to the pub after all so am loitering here instead.

Anyone around?

Will read the last few posts and see if I can come up with anything else (please don't hold your breath.)

LQ - you've hit it on the head! Facebook is indeed for looking up exes and the like. In fact, the 'very old friend' is someone I last saw ten years ago when I woke up next to him C'est la vie, eh!

I like the idea of a crazy job title too. A friend of mine is Head of Reality (it's reality tv) for example, which I think takes the biscuit, although Hot Head Operator, whatever one of those is, comes pretty close!

Glad it's not just me who finds other people's children tedious. I can't work out what I think of my friends' little boy. He's okay I guess, but a bit babyish and mollycoddled. His mum also goes on and ON about how it's hard for him being an only shild which I think surely makes matters worse - he's starting to see it has a disadvantage which, really it isn't. If he was home schooled in the Outer Hebrides maybe, but not where he lives (small town)

To continue my arse expanding commitments I am now off to the pub for a swift 'arf. I shall no doubt be back later or tomorrow

at LQ's "cant have my bosoms draping on the floor when I go back to the office" !!

I agree- i think beyond a point kids get really boring! i found myself reading to a friend's child and i was bored after five minutes. it may also be that the response i wold get from my own child might be different so my boredom threshold might be higher.

btw in the credits for OBEM i noticed a fantastic credit- "Hot Head Operator"!! i suppose it has something to do with operatng the lights or something, but- wow! imagine being asked somewhere "so what do you do?" "me, i'm a hot head operator".

maybe that's what she loves about him- the repartee and the clowning (?).
guess shouldn't judge someone else's equation..

ooh, many more posts!
Watching OBEM online- episode one- and what's with the father and son sniggering? i suspect it's embarrassment on the son's part but the dad's been this many more times- he has no excuse! the woman's in pain!
ok will get back- maybe he redeems himself later.
[ pops out again ]

Ps sorry, just saw the length of that post, jees louise

Hello Easter Bunnies

I'm really not in that much of a good mood but thought I would try!

Wow, lots and lots happened since I was last on here, really sorry if I miss out on the news.

confused well done for getting through your weekend, tbh there are very few of other peoples children that I can stand for long period of time (mother earth here!) so well done for having your friend and her son with you all weekend . Facebook is there just for nosing through the pics, looking up your ex's (or is that just me). Everyone eats and drinks too much over easter, don't beat yourself up for it. I mean you have to eat all of the eggs to get rid of them, or at least that's what DH is doing (more about him later!)

LST sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit crappy & tired at the moment, hope that you start to fill better and get a chance to catch up on your zzz's.

Hi to everyone else and welcome on board newbies.

Back to work tomorrow, psyching myself up for the Northern line & think I am going to try to go in early to miss some of the mad rush - lets just hope I'm not sick!

Easter has been pretty quiet but DH is literally doing my head in. Not that I am one to usually slate my hubby but would it be really too much to give a little bit more help with the housework. And when I buy snakes (here we go again) snacks for myself, that I have put in the trolley, that he moaned were expensive do not eat the whole bloody packet before i have had a chance to even have one!

There's been lots of chat about red and green, I thought of some what might be considered red thoughts though obviously I am very pleased to be pg and fingers & toes crossed all goes well....

*had to buy more maternity bras today, more like t-shit ones than those sad sack ones that I bought before. cant have my bosoms draping on the floor when I go back to the office.

*I can't dye my hair and it looks like a mad old ladies nest of hair, I have to keep moving the parting to avoid showing the grey, I am sure by the end of the pregnancy I will have some kind of combover coming from behind my left ear.

*we looked at buggies in mothercare today, (DH had to amuse himself with something manly whilst I checked out the bra's) just some of the people in there made me wonder..is this what i am going to be like. meiow!

*I am tired, tired, tired all of the time, and when i am not tired I am being sick.

Enjoy! xx

I quite like a lot of my friends children but only in VERY SMALL DOSES. Very small! Then, I'm ashamed to say, they get on my nerves and get in the way!

However, people I know with kids also say that they don't really like other people's so maybe that's not so unusual.

Have eaten too much crap and drunk too much this weekend and now feel horrible. Also, found a very old friend of mine on Facebook and been nosing through his pics - his, I presume, Swedish girlfriend is STUNNING - all long golden limbs and so on. This has not helped my self esteem!

Glad any side effects seem to be pretty mild. Hope they stay that way!

Yes it will be fascinating to hear YTD's and lq's perspectives! Might even be too late for me by then... Hope they're both feeling ok, BTW. How was Easter pregnant, folks? More or less inclined to eat lots of chocolate? I've been a complete pig this weekend!

Glad the son wasn't so bad this time, confused. There aren't that many of my friends' kids that make me want one, though some are very nice - so they probably have to be your own! It's funny about DHs, isn't it? My sadness that mine isn't keener is almost my strongest sign to myself that I am keen, or at least more keen than not.

Am feeling ok, although I felt very stressed and irritable and anxious on Saturday night - sort of much-worse-than-usual PMT feeling - which I think might have been the drugs kicking in. Wasn't too bad yesterday though so who knows. Today I just feel utterly done in, but I am quite sleep deprived so that might be why. Also started my 'bleed', same day as my AF would have started normally, today so it's almost hard to feel as though anything untoward is happening. DH reckons I might be a bit snappier than usual though so maybe I'm just not noticing! May start the stimulating drugs in 5 or so days, if messageboards etc. are anything to go by, which is quite exciting! Am very relieved/lucky to have got away without anything too bad so far.

I think we need to wait and see what it's like when YTD and / or LQ have their babies and then hear about it 'from the other side', as it were. From the outside, the lack of sleep, lack of spontaneity, lots of chaos and so on doesn't sound that appealing (funny that!) but maybe it really is all that incredible that it's worth it. Worth it ten times over.

A friend of mine had a little boy in January and she is taken aback by how besotted she is and how lovely she's finding it, and I'll listen to her as she's not earth mothery in the least!

We had my friend and her son here for Easter and he was certainly better than last time but it didn't fill me with an urge to have one of my own. Far from it. Same goes for DH too. However, if I found out I couldn't or DH was adamant he didn't want to, I think I'd obsess about nothing else.

How's the injecting going, LST? Noticed any changes?

Should just add, having read through my post (which I posted by accident without previewing) that I sounded rather neutral about hp taking a break etc. whereas what I really meant to say/ felt was 'pleeeease come back soon, we'll miss you massively - but just not before you're ready, obviously'.

Hi all,

Good to hear from you, hp, but quite understand if a break is called for - hope we see you again in due course.

I think on balance the splinter thread seems to be a bad idea - my only thought was to keep us together, in a sense (by providing an outlet for redness), rather than splitting us - perish the thought. This thread is fab. (Even if I've been too busy entertaining two lots of visitors to come onto it over Easter until now.) And lovely to hear a word of reassurance from YTD. I'll try not to see this as a challenge to find the very worst things to share! (Only kidding.)

Am feeling rather mixed about the whole business at the moment (despite being already on a possible baby train...). For most of the weekend had friends with a young baby (four months) visiting. He's very cute and very co-operative but I didn't feel any massive maternal urges, or find him all that fascinating - though he is a bit young to be so yet so no reflection on him. His parents, who are very dear friends, are absolutely besotted, and fasciated by his every gurgle, which is lovely to see (they've waited a very long time for this) - but also still a bit mystifying from the outside. I know there's no earthly reason why I should feel maternal towards someone else's child (might have been a bit worrying if I had) but I still thought there may have been a twinge of excitement or longing, especially as I'm supposed to be mentally preparing myself for this becoming a reality, or at least the possibility that this might happen. Also two little boys of two and four in the next wave of visitors - cute too but definitely very very hard work. On a more positive note with them, they are getting more manageable, and my DH was quite interested in them, albeit in short bursts, so that was encouraging given his usual child-phobic stance (which isn't softening at all despite me having started on the IVF path).

Anyway, apologies for long post but slightly bemused/disquieted by my lack of engagement with real life babies and children (I mean I did engage fully with them all, obviously - and not just so our friends didn't disown us - but felt emotionally rather detached...). Perhaps it's a defence mechanism, but if so it's hiding its true colours very well.

(Mind you, I was cooking for much of the weekend (enjoyably, for the most part) so perhaps that was part of it!)

I feel very much in tune with confused's post, in fact. This has been close to how I feel for a while in some ways. So why am I doing IVF?? (I know this is becoming a stuck record, this cycle of thinking from me - sorry.) I do also have the odd flash of green. I am fascinated by kids in theory (absolutely love watching any tv programme about them, even the tediously-similar-in-format supernanny type ones), and I think I'll be ok at it - as all non-parents no doubt do. I also think I may/will regret it if I dn't, and this is perhaps a stronger feeling than it is for confused (probably because I'm older ). But not sure what evidence I have for this suspicion (I suppose the point is I can't get any at this stage!) or where it comes from.

Anyway, certainly haven't had any panics or any real thoughts that I should stop taking the drugs and get off this particular train, so hoping that means something at least. I must be the most half-hearted IVF-er in the world though.

BTW, like the way that confused has her own sign !

So I'm in the same old place! And think people are right that a splinter thread wouldn't be a good plan - sounds like hp needs a more drastic break than that, and the rest of us are happy to stay put and nourish our lovely community with whatever we are thinking/doing/pondering. And don't ever regret posting when you are tiddly, Seagreen - those are always lovely posts! (I sent my mum some flowers via the internet for mother's day, and as I typed in the message when I was a bit tipsy, it was quite soppy heartfelt about how inspirational she was, which could have been awful, but she was actually really touched and apparently 'moved to tears' so I was glad in the end!)

Wow, I'm obviously lacking an ear to bend now the guests have gone - will leave you in peace! xxx

PS. Many welcomes to our new members (and hi again Amanda).

Blimey! Millions of posts!

I must have the skin of a rhino and the shortsightedness of a mole as I never got any of this before HP's post about 'taking a break' (so, are we now 'on a break?'?!) Personally, I think we can see how things stay can't we? Like someone has already said, just because someone may be green it doesn't meant that everyone should be. Having a child is a very personal thing and everyone has different feelings and situations. I can come up with loads of reasons not to have one but only one or two reasons to have one, and even those are a bit wishy washy. (Current reasons to have one are that I might regret not doing and, er, that's it really - I might be good at it? It makes Christmas a bit more interesting? It's an excuse to buy cute things? Or not buy cute things as I'm now too broke after all my cash has gone on child care... )

Seagreen I'm glad it's not me who's had a boozy Easter! I too wanted to drunkenly ramble about what a godsend this thread has been at times but as I had people here I had to keep it short! Probably a blessing really!

HP it's easy for me to say, I realise, but I am really suprised that you have had people having a go as you are in two minds and they can't have one, or are having problems. I guess it is a subject that must get people very fired up indeed, especially if you are desperate for them and it's not happening and it's something you've always wanted etc etc (cannot relate to that, as we all know.) There are lots of reasons not to and, even if you are consumed with longing, it doesn't make these reasons invalid. The world, the overpopulated world, will not die out of everyone doesn't have at least one of two offspring will it?

I have been, lightheartedly,called 'selfish' for not having any children which winds me up big time. Why the fucking hell is it selfish, for gods sake? Yes, it means that I could go through life pleasing mainly myself, but it also means I am not using up resources, adding to landfill with thousands of nappies etc, taking up nursery places, blah blah blah all of which can hardly be viewed as 'selfish' can they?

Polly Vernon is often rabbiting on about how she doesn't want children in the Observer, here, and while I am not remotely that vehement about not wanting them, I can relate to quite a bit of it.

The thing is, often I get vivid green flashes wanting the opposite of all the things I have always said I have wanted (freedom, travelling, spontaneity, a house not full of plastic tat, ability to lay in bed all day if I want to - actually, ignore that last one as it's not possible now with the dog!) which is why, to cut a very short story long, I am here in the first place!

hear, hear, YTD!

YTD, you are an angel.

See you all soon. X

ok got to get off mn when drunk. mortifying!