To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

Welcome Oddy!
You sound as if you may have found your spiritual home! I have exactly the same thoughts as yourself about whether to go for it or not, and it changes on a daily basis. (And I have been MNing with everyone on the subject for the past 9 months and still no wiser, although some on this thread are more decisive than others - not everyone's as crap as me!)

How long have you been 'trying'?

Hi everyone,

I'm relatively new to MN and I was just erm wondering if I could join this thread as it seems friendly in here erm... doesn't matter if not I'll just lurk anyway TBH, I've been in some of the other long running discussions and been terrified unsure about posting as they seemed a bit strong.

I'm still not exactly sure if I want to have a baby or if I'd be happy / disappointed if I was / wasn't although have never been blessed with decisivesness in any aspect of my life. Me and DP discussed it once after my sister had her baby last year and now we're "trying" apparently. He's even told his mum! I'm not getting any younger though as everyone keeps pointing out. I'm only 34 physically (mentally I'm about 23 I'd guess).

Anyway just wanted to drop in and say hi!

Oddy x

Evening! Am late posting as I have been off to Burtons to pick up some morning suits. DH is an usher and the groom to be is a good friend. The bride? Lets just say she has improved dramatically on her recent behaviour and I am able to remember why I liked her. Bit of a tricky moment when DH and Groom to be came out the changing rooms and asked me what I thought - they are in black tailcoats and my first thought was 'undertakers' - luckily I only almost said it!

The crazy woman who looked at the house - ladies, I hear you! While we want to sell the house I don't want to make it any more of a palaver than it has to be, and this woman doesn't bode well in that respect. The estate agent called me today and asked if we could do a last minute viewing at 6.15 (mad rush of tidying but do-able) and I told him about yesterday, as I was also wondering if it was the same woman (hence the 'urgency' - she strikes me as someone who is always in a flap.) It was actually another couple who were coming to view, but I mentioned yesterday's lady to the agent who laughed. Apparently this woman has moved EIGHT TIMES IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS! She always moves and then something ges to her, and so she moves again. I said to the agent that she sounds best avoided and he said that no, on the contrary, she is always in a rush to move and has never backed out of a deal so far

Getting pregnant for the sake of not missing out is utterly ludicrous! However, perhaps not in so many words, but I have had similar said to me. The way I feel now, at 35 I'd like to emphasise, is that it isn't the end of the world not to have one and, in fact, free's you up to do approx 294838457735628829 other things far more easily and cheaply.

However, the ditherer within me says, never say never! [wink}

Evening all

Missed out on posting last night as after the 1st day back at work the tiredness was un-freaking-believable. Went to bed at 530 got up at 10 feeling like a zombie, had some cereal and back to bed until 6am this morning. Today's sickness has been really bad as well, i actually worked out of another office today so that I could drive to work rather than get the train & tube, by the time I left the house I was just literally heaving every step (sorry TMI and if your eating your dinner!)

Finally stopped feeling sick at 2pmish today. Celebrating the fact that I don't feel sick now!
Going back to work has been ok other than that, clearly other people haven't been told that I am dropping the project so need to speak to my boss about that - as soon as i can pin him down that is.

How is everyone else?

confused that lady sounds like a bit of a nightmare. agree with the others about handling her with caution and using your agent and solicitors.

seagreen totally totally agree with your views about people who seem to think that if you do not have a child that how can you possibly be complete. I seem to remember someone once saying to me, "yes of course you must wait until you are ready, but if you wait too long then you might decide that having a baby is not for you and you will have got used to your life." My thoughts were 'and yes, then I wouldn't have one would I?!" Weird. Surely better to have a child when you know you really want one than get pregnant for the sake of not missing out!

Eek, while I feel sorry for her, confused, I think I might steer clear of her as a buyer - it can be a long process and she sounds a bit erratic, albeit possibly through no fault of her own - she might pull out or go back on agreements over something small or unreasonable. I have never been unduly troubled by noisy neighbours, but am prepared to believe it can send you a bit crazy and be quite distressing. On the other hand, she does sound unduly anxious and demanding - I can see why she might want to be in the house in the evening to see what the neighbours are like but I don't think any seller really has to agree to this, it's not exactly the done thing, is it? She can hang around in the evening outside for a bit and she'd surely hear the noise if it was too bad?

I think you should insist that she arrange all future viewings through the agent, preferably with them present - much more of this and it will start to sound like she's harassing you.

Well done for losing weight, lq! I'm using the IVF as an excuse to eat comfort foods at the moment but really shouldn't be - won't help my state of mind or physical well being. Still, mended my bike at hte weekend so at least won't be quite as sedentary as I have been for the last couple of weeks. Hope you're feeling less tired - though I guess that might take a few weeks. And that work is ok. How about you, YTD - hope you're feeling a bit better and less nauseous too.

Thinking abuot the Polly Vernon articles and the one Seagreen linked to. Food for thought indeed. I'm glad, on balance, that I've had the years I've had with my DH just the two of us, and I think it's made us a stronger couple (though perhaps that hasn't been tested yet!). And if I'd got pregnant with my previous boyf that would have been a disaster long term. He was a nice guy, but we weren't well suited in some key ways. So very grateful for birth control in general! I may be cursing it in 10 years time if things don't work out iwth the IVF, of course. But at the moment it feels easier for me than for some as I haven't ever felt the physical desire or deep-seated need for a child.

hmm. food for thought. find this website a bit trashy personally.
article on jezebel

i don't personally wonder about the 'why'. i know what's keeping me. and maybe this is a trend but am not happy being slotted into a neat box that says "doesn't want a baby=career climbing cow".
my question is more the 'when' and 'how'.

yikes. she sounds a bit disturbed like she's had to deal with a really horrible set of circumstances lately.
feel bad for her moving to be near her daughter and then having a fight though.

Madness.
DH just rang. Some woman, who had been sat outside the house in a car for over an hour, accosted him when he was going back into the house.

Turns out she was the woman who saw it on Saturday. DH said she was a neurotic mess - she was panicking about the noise and safety. Then, she got into a state about the roof - we haven't had it recently checked you see, then she was in a panic about the neighbours as we 'have no control' over who moves into the house that used to be a pub on the corner.
Then, THEN, she explained that she had bought a flat near her daughter in a couple of miles away but then she and her daughter fell out and she needs to move. The other reason she apparently wants to move is because she 'can't stand the noise' of living between two flats even though she's only been in her current place three months. She then added that 'if I don't get it right this time I'll kill myself!'
She had another look around (not great as it's a bit of a mess due to stripping beds etc) and then asked if she could come back one evening and sit in the front room for an hour to check the noise isn't too much.

I agree that Polly Vernon is somewhat over the top about it. And the bit about the tube seat - I'd offer it through good manners, no more and no less.

I cannot bear the assumption that I want a child though, or the assumption that I'd regret it if I didn't. While I am slightly concerned, to varying degrees, that I would indeed wish I had once time has run out it does piss me off to have people say as much. Makes me want to rush off and cram contreceptives down my throat.

LQ how was a) the Northern Line and b) work?

Any news from anyone else...?

interesting article. here
read the article confused posted. i agree with it but the writer is a bit well, extreme in her views.
e.g. giving up a seat on the train to a pregnant woman. yes, it was voluntary. but it doesn't mean i shouldn't give her my seat if she's in discomfort! it's hardly equivalent to, say, for lack of better example, someone not being able to stand because they had boob enhancement surgery to 45GGGG and therefore need to sit else they'd keel over!
though yes, people always assume a woman has got to want to have a child. or that having a child will be the best thing she ever does. god save us from the cult of the self righteous mothers.
i do think it's important to acknowledge though that they are doing a difficult, sometimes thankless, job, and they deserve to be cut some slack. particularly the ones juggling many balls all at once.

Good luck tomorrow LQ!

ytd your job does sound interesting, it sounds very problem solving which is cool. and yay to that maternity package. i think lots of things will be changing post election, whoever gets in, with reductions across the shop.

thanks to both of you for the outfit compliments.

confused so glad that you explained what a dog kong was! filthy
re your friend, yes I know it is easy for us to say_ i will be surprised if my child ever leaves the house with two socks that match - i can promise you 9/10 DH and I don't, although it has improved since I bought a sad peggy thing from lakeland.

no, thankfully not expanding elsewhere yet it seems, I am actually losing weight, I think I mentioned at the start that I really needed to and did loose a bit before the BFP. Now I am back to regular healthy eating having joined SW rather than the fairly diet I was on before I am losing again, though first week I did loose 4.5lb but thats normal in the first week so expect it to settle down. Just hope it means that the midwife will give me less of a bol**ing when I see her. at least I am making the effort.

Right ladies off to bed, this is the latest i've been up in a while and tomorrow is the earliest i will have to get up in ages. Gonna try and get a 7.15 train. night night

YTD, I am with you on the nosey interwebbing Usually in the nicest possible ways, of course...

I don't know for certain she is wiping his bum, but I do notice he calls for her when he must have just finished and can't guess what else it could possibly be.

It is very easy for us to say, but I agree that he shouldn't be mollycoddled so much. While nine is young, it's not that bloody young and really he ought to be able to sort things out for himself a bit more. I asked him to wash my dog's Kong (thing you put treats in) and he was so cackhanded and didn't have a clue (ie didn't put the plug in the sink, squeezed a ridiculous amount of washing up liquid in the sink, put just hot water in and the yelped when it was hot. I think you have to give some leeway, but really, nine is a bit too old to have no idea. What do you think?

He is not a bratty child, by the way, just babied and so used to having everything done for him that he doesn't seem to think for himself in any way.

Outfit sounds nice - are you expanding anywhere other than your chest yet?

sorry, tomorrow's outfit, black trousers, purple top, purplish cardie, grey patent shoes, grey & purple beads.

sorry confused but OMFG! Bottom wiping on a 9 year old?! Crikey what does he do when he goes to school?! In fact don't answer

To be honest though, and I am sorry to say this, I really don't want to get into saying negative things about your mate who I dont even know,so please forgive me, but its not actually the kids fault. if his mum is happy to continue doing it all for him and thinks that the best way then he doesnt know any different.

However I would imagine that he might find things really hard in the future, to deal with sorting out a problem by himself without someone else there to support him. And also his mum might find it hard when he does grow up to actually let go. I mean if you've been doing everything for someone and then they suddenly grow up, want to go out and move out (not that I am saying she would be wiping his bum aged 18!) then what are you going to do??

Nope - she did them. Said it was to 'save time' but he just got the shoes and stood there, he certainly didn't look like he was used to doing them himself.

Also, and may I be throughly chastised if I am wrong, me and DH suspect she might also help with bottom wiping. The reason why is because she often goes into the loo when he has clearly done a, ahem, number two and we can't fathom what else it can be.

What's tomorrow's outfit entail?

Considering I don't really like FB I am spending rather a lot of time on it - maybe I need to get out more, or concentrate more on this bloody book. Hmm, now there's a thought!

ooh thanks! THAT explains my question.
my doubt was : clearly the cams on OBEM are tracking people. and they're not just motion sensor cams because they move from person to person when those people are having a conversation. and they zoom in at poignant moments. and they are definitely set in the wall and not held by a person in the room as they show them at the beginning.
and this explains how!

he's happy to help!

doesnt do his shoelaces?? yikes!

Yes I always have a good nose around on fb and I do post on it a bit.

I've sorted my outfit for tomorrow - should make it a bit easier for the morning. havent got up early for over a month now.

I guessed it must have been something similar - the Hot Head Operator - but didn't know fir sure.

Thank you Mr Queenie!

Yes, friend does mention that 'he's an only child' a lot - a helluva lot - along with that he's 'only nine.' Personally, I don't think nine is that young - he certainly should be tying his own shoe laces by then, for example, which he wasn't - and I think he plays on that too. Mummy runs around after him and he has no appreication, along with no idea how to do a lot of things for himself. Or, rather, it wouldn't occur to him to as he never has had to.

On the plus side, as now starting to feel VERY guilty, he was a lot less stroppy than before when he visited. Before he got grumpy when we did things he didn't like, but this time he was relatively self contained. My friend said he is shy so when we had friends over on the Friday (and got very drunk and danced on the kitchen table) he actually went to bed about 8 as he was both tired and not in the mood to socialise.

I have been spending a lot of time looking up former squeezes on Facebook! And they've all got bloody kids! Not that that is an especially relevant detail, I realise, but wanted to say it all the same. Glad this noseyness re ex boyfriends and similar is something that lots of people must do. I do hate Facebook for this, the stalking aspect, but can spend HOURS myself looking up things / people. Rarely post though. I don't feel the need to share the mundane details of my day with lots of others (but am too nosey not to look at their's!)

Oo oo oo DH (works in TV) told me what a hot head operator is...its someone that operates a remote control camera, controlling the pan, tilt and zoom from another room....Hope I haven't ruined it all for you! xx