To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

Well, clearly I am an expert on the subject, due to my obsessive under-control reading of six two mags a month . Do you have a particular area of interest? And the industry must be littered with stories of people who got published as well - you could be one of those, I'm sure of it. If the book feels almost too big of a step, perhaps there is a gentler way of pushing you on. I have no clue how you go about it, for example, do you write an article/piece and then send it off to try and sell it?

Hey, surely there is some millage in 30-somethings worrying if they can be arsed to have a baby?

Magazines - do a bit of freelance work but not nearly enough so also temp as it's a regular income. Like the lack of pressure etc but now feel as if I ought to be being a bit more proactive but it's so frigging competetive that (and, trust me, I know) you can write 1000's of letters and get NO response. Also meant to be writing this damn book but made the mistake today of reading how many books get written but never published...

lastly, agree - far easier to sort out others than sort yourself. Spend far too much time doing that!

(Hi Amanda!)

I can't sort out my own fecking life, do not under any circumstances allow me near yours! Although it is always easier to see other peoples options/issues/avenues more clearly, rather than your own. It was always my plan to hand over control of my life to our coven anyway, so inept am I at being in charge of it!

You are a journalist, right? Newspapers, mags, something else?

ps Amanda - taken on board the website comments. I agree with you, and would also like to emphasise it's a work in progress and also, I guess, it's hard for me to see woods for tree's etc. Will pass on feedback to friend... thank you x

Mine are raised!
Make that RAISED

Any volunteers to sort out my life...?

Right. All those in the midst of a mid-30s crisis of some sort, raise your hands......

Ladies, we need A Plan.

Suerock I know exactly how you feel about balancing your career aspirations and motherhood, I find it very hard to imagine how I could possibly do the job I do now, which I find completely exhausting and all-consuming at the best of times, with having any other significant priorities. People say you just make it work, but I can?t imagine how. Something would have to give. On the plus side, at least I don?t like my job, but that?s hardly a big plus. And you should have seen the faces of the panel at an interview I went to recently when they found out I had just got married.

I have also had these discussions with my mother, who thinks I should start trying for a baby as soon as possible, the subtext being that I have already left things dangerously late. I explained the financial position, and why it is just not possible to have a baby right now, but she was completely unconcerned.

Really pleased to see HP back, and happy to note that she has brought luggage, which can only mean she intends to stay a while. . Sorry to hear about the scare, I thought for a second you had had your redness reaffirmed by the incident, but I note that one post later you are green again . I?m glad to hear that whatever the doctor did has helped, despite the crazy comments about birth control. FWIW I am quite convinced that condoms are perfectly adequate protection and DH and I used them for five years without incident.

LQ poor you I can?t imagine feeling sick constantly, it is awful being ill. Hope you?re feeling much better now. It really makes me wonder why labour is the thing that everyone fears about this process, when pregnancy, which goes on for nine long months, is clearly no barrel of laughs. For some perverse reason I can?t manage to summon up an ounce of trepidation about the state of being pregnant, even though I have plenty of friends who had terrible experiences, some of them winding up hospitalised for long periods. But the thought of labour terrifies me.

Confused your cake toppers are fantastic, they really look like the people! I am making the effort to post on the thread, but it?s so not easy to find the time. I have the day off work today, luckily, so I can crack on! I think once I get to know everyone better it will be easier. So if everyone could please continue dithering, whilst I get to know everyone, it would be much appreciated lol.

You said you wanted constructive comments about your website. The only thing that occurred to me was that you have opted to communicate a lot of the information through the ?FAQ? questions ? which works well - but it?s not that easy to navigate from question to question, because you have to keep going back to the main ?FAQ? page so that you can click on the next one. Is it possible to change it so that the links open in a frame within the main page, so that the other questions are still displayed?

I know exactly what you mean about other people?s children. I stayed at my best friend?s house and got up at 6.30am with my godson (8 months) so that mum and dad could get some rest. I had the most amazing time playing with him all morning, but when I got home I had to go to bed to recover! Also DH said I stank of pooh and made me put all my clothes in the wash immediately! Not sure that I want to stink of pooh all the time? Also have no idea how people do it fulltime.

Waves back at Yorkshireteadrinker - thank you for the wave, that was nice of you! How are you getting on with the filth and chaos? Actually never mind the filth and chaos, how are you getting on with your pregnancy? I?m glad the sickness seems to have improved and hope all is well!

Do we all have this problem with our DP and MN? I seem to be either at work where I can?t log on (I don?t dare so much as open the MN website at work in case it shows up on my web log and I get written off (even more so) as a non-work-focused wannabe baby machine) and when I get home DP likes to peer over my shoulder and pull a face of exaggerated exasperation at me being on MN yet again.

LeviStubbsTears I don?t know what to say either, except I hope you?re okay and don?t give up hope yet. You obviously have great support in this thread.

BroodyRhi come on over to the "Waiting to TTC" thread. There are several people in the exact same position you describe (i.e. too green for this thread but unable to go for it right now for whatever reason) and although sadly/luckily we can't speed up time, you can vent away to your heart's content.

Wayhey, lots of posts!

BroodyRhi, I think HP put it far better than me, and hopefully I didn't come across as dismissive. This is the problem with posting at work, it's too rushed and sometimes I really ought to apply a bit more pondering. As for handing over your broodiness, I think that may be a good idea. I change my mind so much it's getting beyond ridiculous and some consistency would not go amiss. So, go on, hand it over

LST, how are you feeling? I hope not too gloomy. I am getting the impression that the 'first go' with IVF is almost a learning curve if everything doesn't go to textbook plan. However, like it has already been pointed out, it's not like it's a non starter anyway! Far from it in fact (I bet if getting pregnant was the last thing you wanted you'd be now expecting triplets - oh, the irony. Tsk!)

SueRock thank you for the flattery re the figurines. I have been having a 'career crisis' (ie crisis over the lack of career) in the last few days which has been building and building and this has helped a lot (even though the toppers are really a small aside.) I have been writing bits and bats but no way do I get enough work to keep me going so temp too - I have lots of experience in magazines and am, allegedly, very talented but it is SO bloody competitive that it's not easy (by any stetch) and I am now having a crisis confidence over what I can constructively do with The Rest of My Life. Unlike those of you who have the dilemma of what to do and where to do it, mine is just trying to find something lucrative and fulfilling. And so far, I am failing miserably. Sometimes it's almost worth getting pregnant so I can use my recent motherhood as an excuse to high achieving friends - how awful is that though. If I met me I'd want to beat me up.

Bugger.

sorry here is the URL

Hi LST - as usual i turned to my trusty google, and here are the conclusions:
many people seem to say that it's the quality that matters and not the quantity.
For instance, this lady here says:
"With my IVF1 - 21 eggs, 17 fertilised - BFN
With my IVF2 - 45 eggs, 38 fertilised - BFN
With GIFT - 6 eggs, inserted 4 eggs - BFP."
another person says about her history:
"1st cycle: 12 eggs, none to freeze, DE IVF= BFN
2nd cycle: 6 eggs, none to freeze, DE ZIFT= BFP
3rd cycle: 5 eggs, none to freeze, DE ZIFT= BFP"
(i have no idea what GIFT and ZIFT are- clearly they're all procedures)

Evening (ish) everyone!

to LST - here's hoping one of those four follicles is the magic one that will work out for you. And if it isn't - well, it does sound promising that second time round you/they can hit the target a bit more accurately when it comes to how much to tickle them I hope you're feeling a bit better now. It's rubbish to see gorgeous babies and bumps when you're in a green mood and finding yourself very much not pregnant.

Glad to have you back HP! We missed you. Sorry to hear about the job - can I ask if you got as far as an interview? Having been hunting around recently, it does seem as though there are possibly more of that type of job around than I previously thought, specially around your neck o' the woods (and the Other One). So hopefully something else might come up for you to consider. Are you tied by location? I can't remember what your DH does (if I ever knew). As for your experience with the doc, I'm glad to hear the NSAIDs worked. I thought endometriosis had an inflammatory component, so maybe that could still be the cause, but either way it's good to hear you can get one over on the pain. Not sure what to make about the condom comment - I suspect you're just going to prove her wrong!

YTD - yay for no more morning sickness hopefully! Does reaching the second trimester mean you're going to tell everyone now? Second trimester = a third of the way through. That's quite scary, and I'm not the one who's pregnant

lq - here's hoping your sickness has eased off too.

Fab Fimo figures confused - I love them and they're so like the photos of the couples. And so much better as a keepsake than sugar ones - some friends had an arguement over their marzipan figurines from the top of their wedding cake - he wanted to eat them and she wanted to keep them. They compromised by eating everything but the heads....

Oh, and welcome BroodyRhi!

On the job front, I should hastily point out that at no stage has there ever been anything illegal, and I wouldn't expect it. The nearest I've got was a colleague saying "Oh, it's OK for you, you can just leave work and have a baby" when we heard we were losing our jobs. I nearly thumped him (which will come as no surprise to you lot!). The problem is that I have no chance of a job in a big company, and jobs in small companies are very insecure - so getting pregnant and going on maternity leave soon after starting somewhere would mean I was in a very precarious position if we all got fired again. And once you've been out for a year, that's it - door slams shut. I can't help regretting not having had a baby 3-4 years ago - I'd be in a better position now So, no nearer making a decision, though other than getting sprogged up, there isn't a lot I can do right now.

BTW, formatting slightly screwed up for me too, but does have the advantage that I seem to be able to scroll through ~100 messages while typing!

Is anyone else having problems with MN? All the formatting is screwed up on my version. Won't write too much in case it disappears into the ether!

LST, I'm glad you a feeling a little better about it. My, erm, friend had the opposite problem in her first cycle -hyperstimulation, so like you say, you can't predict how it's going to go in this first cycle. But you are a long way from the end yet. Also, I noticed you are in East Anglia, I hope this isn't out of turn but I think we may be close to eachother, maybe, and if you need anything at all I can be there.

BroodyRhi, bless you, but if you've got any broodiness you are going to have to hand it over. Come on, turn out your pockets. I'm confiscating it. Actual gen-u-ine broodiness is like hens teeth around these parts, so is probably worth some cold hard cash . Of course I'm joking if you want to stay, please do, but watch out for the rest of us lazy frantic indecisive sorts lounging around comparing notes.

Hi BroodyRhi,

Sorry to sound negative, but this may not be the right thread for you to find kindred spirits! This thread largely consists of people who swing madly from wanting a baby to wanting anything but - although a couple of us are a bit more up for it than others, it's not the majority.

However, I am sure there are bucketloads of people who are in the same shoes as you if you have a look on the conception boards, or start a discussion yourself (I think I'd opt for that one.) Alternatively, please feel free to hang around and 'chat' regardless as, while we may not be able to directly relate, we are a freindly bunch (and some may be able to offer far wiser words of advice than me!)

Hello
I am a newbie to Mumsnet but have been checking in on discussion boards for a while. I have been incredibly broody for past year, and have been with partner for two years. Am in my mid twenties and would love to make a family but financially cant right now. Has anyone any experience's of this and advice on how to get through it when all you want to do is the one thing you cant? I have always wanted a family but never knew real broodiness till now! Partner is brilliant and very understanding of how I am feeling but he is not ready to be the Dad that he wants to be right now. Being able to talk to people who have gone through this would really help, none of my friends are in this place and I feel a bit isolated.
Thanks.

Hi All,
Sneaky posting at work so won't be too long.

So, LST, it doesn't sound too negative then as this is the 'first go?' Not familiar with the process of IVF at all so not sure what a lot of it means. Does it mean that they could try some different drugs the next time which could boost things more positively?

What your friend said about the first cycle being exploratory sounds promising too.

Glad you're feeling a bit more chipper.

Right, better go before I get the sack. Back later this evening x

LST - sorry i haven't logged on in a bit- so here are some happy vibes headed your way here!
i am not an expert at this so i don't know what precisely the medical prognosis is. but i do believe in the power of positive thought.
you take care now.
and chin up, girl!

Thanks, folks. It's so nice to have support on here. DH is being very nice but he can't pretend he's upset about the prospect of it not working, though he's concerned about me, so it's a bit hard to really talk to him. (I have no intention of leaving this thread, whatever happens!)

Am feeling better after getting out (to an AGM of an organization I'm involved with) today and getting my mind off things (though there were a couple of gorgeous babies there, of course!). I am also starting to feel that I'm probably being a tad irrational - a friend said that the first cycle is always a bit 'exploratory', so it may go better next time. I hadn't been flagged up as having sluggish/ unproductive ovaries, but if I am next time they can do a bit more to get things going from the word go. Would of course rather things worked this time, but it's not as though I'm at the end of the road. And perhaps when I'm off the drugs I'll reconsider the whole endeavour. (Though that is feeling a bit more unlikely now, I have to say.)

I am a bit annoyed about DH not coming with me to scans, but I don't think I'd anticipated bad news at this stage so I didn't push it at all. He might come on Tuesday, we'll see. It is quite hard for him to get out of work, though not impossible. And he's having to keep both Thursday and Friday clear of meetings (and it may not even be then), which is quite tricky, so I can see that he needs to be around before then.

Anyway, enough about me. Hope everyone is doing well - any decisions about the job, Suerock? Was just about to ask how things were, YTD - great news - hope that's the end of the sickness for good. And good luck with the DIY - you've got a good excuse to take a managerial role! Am also quite tickled (and surprised) by Mr HP's greenness - good for him.

OK, 101 things to do before tomorrow so better go - bless you all (in a fairly secular sense), I'm feeling much cheerier this evening. xx

Can't really post as have family here but I too couldn't read and run - big hugs from me too xxx

LST, I've just got in from a night out and am meant to be brushing my teeth, but couldnt read and run.

I can't think of anything to say that might be in any way appropriate or useful, but please don't go, we are all here to listen. Maybe others who have been through this all can give more helpful support and advice, but we are still here too.

Will post more tomorrow - big Internet hugs x

Hi folks,

Feeling pretty down today. I had a scan yesterday and only have four follicles (ok, that resolution lasted a long time!) in any decent state (the others have just decided to stop growing). This is pretty borderline for continuing with the cycle, although they have decided to. But looks like the chances of it working are not great. (They like to have 8-15 mature follicles, to put it in perspective.)

I've suddenly come up against the real possibility of not being able to have kids at all. I know this was always a possibility, but it feels quite real now. So of course feeling very green indeed. And everywhere there are pregnant women and babies looking happy in the sunshine. I know some of this lowness is almost certainly hormonal, but it scares me a little that it might not be and I've unleashed some sort of green demon by embarking on this business.

I know I should probably toddle off to the Assisted Conception thread at some stage, and I will when I've got the energy to read all the old posts, and get up to speed with everyone on there and where they're up to. But felt the lure of old friends today!

Hope everyone else is having a better weekend. Tell me some happy things!

Oooh, by the way, re the website - while I am very grateful to my friend for adding them to her site, it's not brilliant (she's not a web designer, I think she's learning as she goes along which is more than I can say for my web skills.)

LST, I second what HP SP said about people going through IVF deserving an instant baby!

HP SP I will take your advice and make a note of anything er, noteworthy the next time I have one of my middle of the night searing pain sessions.

Finally, and ON MY GOODNESSLY, the greenest person on here at the moment is Mr HP SP?

Fuck me!

He'll be trying to persuade you soon!

And that's not a joke.

Yours in two minds as always,

Confused x

Oo, missed YTDs post - exciting news about the house alterations and the imminent scan! I hope the sickness stops for you soon, poor sausage. Where is the time going, the end of the first trimester already!

I was a bit taken aback, but don't forget my usual doc said 'I've lost count of the number of condom babies Ive looked after' so I was not entirely surprised. What scares me is that kids/people are constantly told to use condoms to protect against nasties. Do the doctors hand them over and say 'use these, but come back in three months for your nasties check, which I predict will be positive'? I suspect they think that a settled couple may perhaps throw caution to the wind and secretly expect an accident rather than use them properly.

(actually, they aren't great, TBH. It will take us a while to, erm, adapt)

Its possible the greenest person on the thread at the moment is Mr HP-SP. He has fully decided to embrace fate and as apparently it will all be ok

LST, you can tell us everything about your follicles if you want. It's a leetle bit sad that you are going to your appointments alone, is there no persuading him? I do know what you mean about the Archers as Radio 4 is one of the two radio stations we can get in the kitchen . I think you are a total star for going through all this, everyone who does IVF deserves an instant baby, no question.

Confused, I am looking forward to seeing your website, I have to put the lap top on though to view stuff with Adobe so will check it out over the weekend. Also, regards the mystery pain, my doc was very focused on if I was passing clots rather than blood (forgive me), so it might be worth thinking back to your pain incidences and what type of month you were having. I'm really glad not to have had the pain this month, I'm just a bit concerned firstly that something may be missed and that i'm taking tablets for the rest of my reproductive years.