To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

pssst!

They have gone, but they went a while back then turned up again with someone else so they may come back yet again? It looks very promising from the way they were looking around. Luckily today there is lots of parking space and, as we are on a dead end anyway, NO traffic at all (and hardly any trains - we overlook a train track at the end of some allotments and, while you don't notice them when you are in the house, you might think you will if you are hanging about outside.)

Is any of this helpful? Realise you can just as easily look yourself but thought I'd have a look on your behalf all the same.

To be honest, I have never heard of anyone having bouts of sickiness at different times in the month but, like I said, I am not that clued up re hormones as I've never really needed to be.

It's a good point. I'm taking B12, but I could do a haemoglobin test at work to make sure that is ok.

Feel a lot better, thanks. Seems to have passed. I think some people just get bouts of sickyness at different points in the month. I might be one of those. Will check with doc though.

Are the people still there?

Oooh, sounds weird. I have never had any hormone weirdness so cannot start to guess what it may be.

The smell of lunch setting you off sounds a bit weird though! If it wasn't for the constant bleeding I'd be sending Mr HP SP to the chemists!

You feeling a bit better now you've been sick? And, and sorry to cluck, but you making sure you get enough iron? Esp with all this crazy bleeding and being veggie...?

I am assuming hormones rather than bug as I have no other bug symptoms and in combination with the crazy bleeding it may be more likely to be that. Plus, it was the smell of lunch that set me off.

How do you know it's hormone levels and not something like a bug?

Am now Googling Anne Enright.

Cross post! Hope it's housebuyers!

Yes, I would be gutted to find out there is a problem, but still can't find the balls desire to go for it.

I guess the good thing about drinking levels and TTC is it that it's something that can be adjusted. What I mean is, some things can't be changed, like your egg quality or hormone levels, but wine consumption can. If it is a concern. I'm not a big drinker at all but do enjoy a glass of wine every couple of weeks, which I guess isn't pickling my ovaries too badly. I was laughing a bit at the implication that drinking more leads to more sex therefore more babies!

Am also that parents think their kids tell them everything. Please. Maybe kids do if there isn't much to tell....

Anne Enright also had a second baby! So the horrors were repeated. I found her writing to be haunting and a bit scary!

Just spent a horrible ten mins dry heaving over the loo. Something is def up with my hormone levels.

ps HP SP sorry I forgot to say, hope the gynae appt goes okay and it's nothing too sinister. Also, re your moment of clarity - perhaps it was your subconscious speaking to you in your half awake state? I know I'd be gutted if I couldn't, although that doesn't make me get my finger out and start trying right now. Maybe you are the same?

Oooh, someone outside the house and have been for about fifteen minutes. There is now someone else with them and they are looking round and taking pics.

As long as they are potential housebuyers rather than potential burgulars it's very promising indeed...

Morning all! Nope, no hangover from this end(for once!) although I did wake up convinced it was Monday (and how lovely it was when I realised it wasn't!)

Telling parents everything? Hmmm. I get on great with my mum and speak to her most days. But would I tell her everything? And would she want to know everything? I doubt it. There are certain things that are a bit ikky to share with your parents (and they probably find the combination of their off-spring and sex about as palatable as we do with the idea of them having sex) really, don't you think? According to BIL and his wife, their daughters have always been very open about that side of things with them but he also seems to think that his eldest daughter didn't sleep with her first boyfriend until they had been together 'nearly a year' which I find a bit unlikely myself. He was also saying how they would never touch drugs whereas I have actually seen a pic of one of them at Glastonbury with remarkably starry looking eyes and clutching a bottle of water so am not convinced of that one either.

I think, in reality, their daughters share what they want to share with their parents but also tailor it to what they think their parents might want to hear. Which is exactly what DH and BIL do with their mum and dad.

LST delighted to hear you had a good nights sleep! Well, at least a better one.

I do worry a bit about the drinking and fertility side of things myself too. I am not a huge pisshead but I have to admit, and hopefully LST you can relate to this (I also think we have discussed this before) that it is easy to drink far more than the recommended 14 units a week without realising. At the moment we've been pretty bad at drinking in the week but we normally try not to, but do then tend to have too much over the weekend. As I am now no loner the spring chicken I once was (alas) maybe I need to be a bit more restrained.

Bugger.

On the other hand, we do eat well (rarely processed, make sure plenty of veg etc) and walk a hell of a lot due to both the dog and walking to work. I think compared to 'average' we do far more exercise but then I guess 'average' is really bloody low. And, while I SO wish this wasn't the case, I am still slightly overweight and it's so much bloody harder to get the excess off when you're older (older-ish).

Think I've managed to gloom myself right out now!

HP maybe there's something in the fact that you didn't have a "OMG I don't ever want to share my life with a child" moment. Complete fear of, and never wanting to experience, horrific agonising pain is completely normal. Christ only knows how anyone, let alone almost everyone, overcomes it!

I read that Anne Enright book that you recommended by the way. Her account of birth is horrendous (although I noted with some relief that later in the book she recounted passing out following a minor surgical procedure on her neck as well) but her account of the experience of actually raising a baby/child seemed quite positive.

Morning!

Hope everyone had a good nights sleep, especially LST. We are having a lazy day today as the weather is rubbish and there are sporting events on TV for DH.

There does seem to be some conflicting advice about drinking and TTC out there. As a scientist, in these situations I always look at the studies with the largest number of participants as that gives more reliable statistics, and also make sure that confounding factors were accounted for, such as age, fertility probs etc (as described in the BBC one). At the end of the day, as an individual you have to decide what is acceptable for you, as population studies can only give predictions and risk.

On the subject of red/green/whatever, I had a weird experience the other night. I got up to go to the loo and in my sleepy dazed state had what I can only describe as complete fear wash over me, and I thought 'OMG, I can't have a baby, it will really hurt and I don't ever want to do it'. Then stumbled back to bed and fell asleep. Now, clearly I wasn't in my right mind -or was I and it was a bizzare moment of clarity? Sounds funny now when I write it out, but it felt very 'real' at the time.

I'm so glad I have another appointment with gynae doc, as I just won't stop bleeding. Period ended four days ago, had one day of nothing, now I'm heavy spotting/bleeding again. Bit rubbish, and bit worried. Sorry if that was a bit much for a Sunday morning!

Right, I'm off to google H. Bridge and look for suitable locations for a cattery.

Hi All

Thanks for your kind comments, HP like the way that you actually knew the proper name for them, its just blood tests here and there to me at the moment!

LST is it possible you can try to get your body into a bit of a routine with going to bed? It is really as boring as it sounds but helped me massively when I had the work stress going on as I would wake up in the middle of the night every night. You need to wind your mind & body down before you hop into bed, so sorry that probably means no chat on here before bed too and trying to go at the same time every evening.

confused pleased for your that you could be open with your BIL and his wife, its nice when you can actually tell people how you feel rather than pretending. Does anyone have a relationship with their parents where they tell them everything? Strangely I think my mother would be one of those that thinks I do or at least wishes I would but no way!

HP ah! cute kittens! We got our two as kittens 3 years ago. Has prepared us for parenthood as much as possible. particularly as DH always has a "now we don't scratch the carpet in the hallway, do we boys?" conversation with the cats nearly every morning!

Thanks so much, folks. Feeling a bit ridiculous - I actually must be getting more sleep than that, anyway, or I'd have collapsed by now. Slept a bit better last night and was much calmer when I wasn't asleep - must have been all the MN vibes reaching me...

Those kitties were very cute. I think I'd be a dog person if anything, and DH is horribly allergic to cats, but they did give me a little pang.

Hmm, I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that I might have done the whole kid thing a lot earlier and more easily (not that it's at all clear I'm doing it now - must bear that in mind!) if I'd drunk less. But never mind, that's the past, and I've been uber-clean living for weeks and weeks now (obviously), which has not actually been the stretch I thought it would be. When I have had sips of wine from DH's glass it's suddenly tasted quite strong and potentially toxic (my super ego really does rule me with a rod of iron, doesn't it?!) so have backed away pronto. I suspect if I don't turn out to be pregnant that I'll have a week or two making the most of the fact, however, as a very small consolation!

Right, off to read about the parietal cortex. Thanks again, you iz the best.

getting out the smirnoff ice now!!

On the other hand...

You forget how cute but mental they are as it's so quick but that WhackTheKitty thing did it for me!

Not sure how keen our dog will be though!

Am drinking wine and reading this Now not sure if I want to sup up or stop and put the kettle on.

Confused by name and confused by nature...

Yes. Absolutely!

I flipping love kittens.

I had the same re the kittens too!

Maybe you and me should get together and open a cattery instead?

Fancy moving to Hebden Bridge?!

LST Rescue Remedy appears to be safe if you are pregnant and they also do a night version. It may help..?

I'm here too, although not for long as bed is calling.

LST, you have a lot on your plate, it would be strange if you weren't thinking a lot and needing to download. Trying to juggle IVF and masters exams....you deserve a medal. In fact, here is one Now, try to get some sleep, and it's no help to say it, but try not to worry, you are doing great and will be fine in your exams.

So lovely to see BabyYTD, you have a cutie there, I can tell. And I'm sorry about all the stress, LQ, hopefully the final cytogenetics will come back asap and you can put it all behind you.

I've made a decision. Thanks to the WhackAKitten video I want another kitten. Really, really badly. Cuuuuute!!! Maybe this is what broodiness is like....

LST I would be more surprised if you weren't feeling drained at the moment!

You have two major, and not terribly compatible, things going on and they are both quite uncertain at this stage. Also, all the drugs etc in your system is probably making things far worse, even if it's all in your head.

For what it's worth, you may actually know far more than you feel like you do, and when it comes to crunch time can come up with the goods. After all, you couldn't get this far with your MSc without knowing what you were doing.

BIL was quite drunk (well, we all were) when he was urging us to go for it and it seems more intrusive in the cold light of day but didn't at the time.

He and his wife have a brilliant relationships with all their daughters but the fact that they, allegedly, 'tell them everything' and have also never rebelled implies to me that they might not have quite the open relationship they think they have. I know my mother, for starters, wouldn't want me to tell her everything! And I doubt their daughters are as open and clean living as they perhaps make themselves out to be. (I may have implied this in a roundabout way last night too, I sheepishly remember...)

LST if you're reading this in the morning, I hope you managed to get some proper sleep. Please remember that everything will settle down soon. You've currently got so much going on that it must be impossible to switch off. Keep super healthy and look after yourself. Okay?! (adopts stern face)

Am going to reply properly now but just in case you're still on-line LST please whinge away! It is important (why you feel whingey) and comparing it to other people's problems doesn't make yours any less. Goddit?!

Right, will reply in depth now x

Hi all,

Really really nice to hear about your scans, YTD and lq and brilliant that it all went well in the end with you both - though really sorry you had to go through that anxiety, lq. Can't imagine how that might feel (though if I have got twins a'brewing, I imagine there will be quite a lot of potential health stresses involved).

Soooo lovely to see the scan, YTD - I did get a bit of a lump in the throat (mind you, I have got megatron pregnancy hormones racing around, whether or not i'm actually pregnant!). S/he may be small but it's a very endearing pic (especially as scan pics go), very clearly a baby!

Hello ac and seagreen - nice to see you back.

Moan alert.... I'm struggling a bit, to be honest - my MSc exams start on Tuesday and there is an overwhelming amount to learn, and I seem to be stuck in a hideous pattern of about 4 hours sleep a night, usually in two bursts, for the last few nights. Feeling utterly drained, and can't get my sluggish brain into gear, or retain any facts, which is making me panic a bit. And as soon as I lie down to rest, even in the daytime, it feels like my heart is racing and I can't sleep. Urggh.

Wow, that was quite a whinge, sorry. I know it's all worth it if I am preggers, it's just horrendous timing with the exams (I thought this would be an ok time, having stopped most of the drugs and the pregnancy symptoms - if there are to be any - not arriving yet - but not so much).

Anyway, no call to be going on about this with real problems/ worries around like lq's scare and things with S, confused. Really glad you're having a nice weekend with your in-laws. On the one hand it's quite sweet that your b-in-law is so keen for you to have kids - he obviously had a great experience (at least in hindsight!) and thinks you'll be great (as you no doubt would); on the other hand, seems a little intrusive to me. I guess these sort of things do get talked about with a drink or two taken, though. Both parents and non-parents miss out, just on different things - I'm definitely with you on that one (despite my apparent possible desertion of the dithering state!).

Right, must go to bed - sort of dreading it these days, but putting it off isn't going to help.

LQ good to hear from you! The blood test results sound as if they would have been really scary and I'm so glad the end result was a good one. Phew!

HP SP this is for you. Enjoy!

LST how are you doing? Taking things reeeaaallly easy I hope. I'm thinking of you a lot and still, as ever, have everything crossed!

Thanks to all for being a sounding board for everything that's happening with S. It helps enormously that I can do this. My DH, while both sympathetic and helpful, doesn't get it. He said it was reading S's blog on Facebook which made him realise it was 'such a massive thing' - so S dying of cancer on it's own isn't massive? DH seems to think it's a bigger deal as so many people are reading his blog and supporting him, but, to me, it would be just as awful regardless of blogs and other people. But! As YTD wisely said (and I remind myself of this a lot) it's my grief and not his so I can't expect him to feel even a fraction of what I am feeling.

DH's brother is with us this weekend. He's ever so nice, possibly my favourite member of DH's family (he and his wife) and we have been spending the weekend, so far, mostly walking the dog and browsing round the shops (getting lovely stuff from our deli - great for the tastebuds but bad for the hips!)

Last night we got pissed tipsy and got onto the subject of children and, more to the point, whether me and DH would or not. I was trying to explain how I could not decide, and DH was too, and DH's brother kept going on and ON about how we'd be brilliant parents and how amazing it is (his daughters are 24, 22 and 17.) When I went upstairs to the loo DH was saying he thought I was incredibly natural with children and it does make him want to have them with me etc etc. Then he also said that the diabetes side of things scares him to death and, and this is what I was saying too, we are not feeling as if we are neccessarily missing out on anything by not having children either.

So, we are no nearer to a decision! Situation normal here, I'm afraid!

Also, and I know I have said this before, there is NO WAY I'd be able to cope with S's party sober so it certainly wouldn't be until after September! If, of course, we do at all.

Am 36 in September too...