Do you think TTC 1st baby at 32+ is v v late?

Oops, posted twice. Obviously I thought it SO hilarious I had to say so twice

ShowofHands, that's comedy gold!

ShowofHands, that's comedy gold!

FWIW, my thoughts are -

It might be worth trying to separate the issues that are troubling you as far as you can.

Fertility does decline with age - but generally this is associated with the 35+ age group, with fertility getting lower with age (so at 32, I don't think this is currently a factor for you). It's also an 'overall' picture, i.e. some women may take 2 years to conceive, but others might be lucky enough to fall pregnant the 1st month of trying.

This age related average decline is also something that you might think about if you feel very strongly that you want more than one child.

As several others have pointed out, no one ttc for the first time really knows what's going on with their insides! - most women won't have significant trouble conceiving, but for those that do, it's obviously true that the earlier they start ttc, the more time they have to try and sort out any problems.

It's worth saying out loud that age and fertility is such an emotive subject, getting our heads round what it means for us individually can be really hard. There's a natural tendency for us to believe and pay attention to the stories that suit us, and ignore/get upset and angry about the stuff that doesn't. What we really want is a personalised crystal ball, but what we have are statistics and averages, and very little way of knowing in advance where we will fit in. I say that not to be gloomy! but to say, I understand why you are worrying.

As far as life plans go, and how 'ready' you are to have a baby - personally, I think it's a bit too glib just to say 'there's never a good time.' There are certainly plenty of bad times - a glance down the social services register in any UK city will tell you that much.

I think it's very reasonable to want to be ttc and hopefully pregnant at a time when you can (mostly) really look forward to having a baby, rather than feeling scared and fearful of the changes to come in your life. I think it's true that no one ever feels 100 percent 'ready' and confident - but I also believe that some times really are better than others. That might be because of family relations, emotional/mental health reasons, practical financial circumstances, etc. These will never be perfect! but they all have a big effect on our lives.

When I said it might be an idea to separate the issues troubling you out a bit, I meant that time spent calmly mulling the 'life situation' side of things rather than the 'fertility clock' might be the best thing. Only you know what you want! and what is possible for you. If you aren't ttc right away, then there is time to do a bit of a 'life audit', and look at everything from your support network of family and friends to your work/income situation, and just ask what you feel you would really want to change if you were to have a baby. I'm not saying 'try and plan so everything is perfect!' at all. Just - if you don't feel you are ready right now, then what is stopping you? (and if it is your work/money situation, there are lots of active things you can do to re-organise that).

Sorry for the long post. A shorter reponse would be - 'try not to worry about the things you can't predict/change! but why not spend some time thinking honestly about what you really want to change in your life before you ttc.'

Good luck.

Elderly primigravida is a medical term isn't it? They put as much thought into it as they did 'spontaneous abortion' and 'failure to progress/thrive'.

Language is very powerful. I wonder who invented the terms in the first place. I want that job.

Do you have an allergy to non gold/silver jewellery? You have Chav Epidemis. Thrush? Nylon Knickers From Primark Disorder. Cystitis? Shaggers Flange.

I'd be good for medicine, I really would.

I had my two dc's at 25 & 27. At 37 we decided we would like another and I conceived within 2 months of trying in August 09 but sadly mc'd in November 09 (which the odds are 1 in 4 over 35). I'm now pg again, it took 2 months.
When I mentioned to my Doctor that I was worried about my age she almost laughed and said it's very very common now, people are leaving it later and there was no reason why it shouldn't be a low risk, perfectly normal pregnancy.

So for me, 32 sounds positively young and I wouldn't be worried at all

I heard the female fertility expert (Gillian ?) from the West Midlands clinic on Radio 4 saying she thought your early 30s were the ideal time to ttc - in that there was time to sort things out if you turn out to have difficulties.

I got pg on the first attempt at 35. Now at 38 am planning dc2 and only now am I beginning to think I should get my skates on. Fingers crossed it'll be straightforward but you never know at any age.

I got pregnant quickly at 36. Most of my friends started family at a similar age. Only one had to have assisted conception, and that was related to her DH.

But you really don't know what your fertility is like till you try.

I know someone else who started trying at 26 and no luck yet.(4yrs)

I'm 33 and pregnant with my 1st child and I certainly don't feel its too late. Unfortunately circumstances kind of dictated when we could start TTC, but I fell 1st month of trying and apart from a bit of morning sickness so far its all been good.

There is never going to be a good time IMO

yes, those were here exact words! to my face!!

and then she was completely flabbergasted when I demanded asked to speak to her boss

phd - ELDERLY? I love it.

I had my first at 35 and went on to have 2 more, so no, not v v late IME.

That said, don't plan and plan and plan - please. I know someone who did and sadly it went a bit pear-shaped for them.

I left it "late" because DH and I didn't get it together till then. We did it when we did it really - babies don't run to a schedule. There is never a perfect time really, so if you feel you would like a baby with someone you are with, I would get on with it, frankly. Encouraging

No, it's perfect! Stop worrying, have fun trying and enjoy it.. you may be able to squeeze 2 in before you get to 35!

I was 33 when I got pregnant with ds. It was quick, straighforward and an easy pregnancy.

I'm now 37 and ttc no2 and it aint happening. Which is probably age related.

So, no I don't think 32 is particularly late, but if you want more than one you should bear in mind your age at future pregnancies, there is increase risk as you age, your fertility does drop as you age etc etc etc.

I fell pg hair-raisingly easily at 36 and 38 so I'm one of the lucky ones. But I was treated by the NHS as an "elderly case of prima gravida" [anger].

(Here in Oz the obs snorted when I asked if she was worried about my age.)

good luck!

Not at all.

I had my first at 34, 2nd at 37 and 3rd at 42 so I think you are a spring chicken!

That's true DJ but a woman who has never been pregnant and never attempted to be pregnant before has no idea how fertile she is at 32. Chances are, frankly, you'll be fine. But if like me you have PCOS or your husband has a low sperm count (or like us, both) being even older is really not going to help.

it all very much depends

No it's not too old but tbh I wouldn't wait any later, I know so many women in their early thirties who have had miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies. Recent research shows that fertility is already significantly declining by the age of thirty. But there are always exceptions and many women don't have any problems at all.

Biologically it is late, there is no denying that. Don't put it off for the pursuit of perfection. If you want a baby and are pretty much solvent, have one.

no.

I am 39 and struggling. I know someone who started at 27 and eight years later is still trying. Age IS an issue but no one ever knows if they sre going to have fertility issues until they try. For all you know your DH/DP may have fertility issues.

I am 31 and DP is 41 and we have been trying a few months now. We waited 10 years to be financially secure etc and since we started trying I have found out I am being made redundant and DPs business has gone scarily quiet. BUT the best advice I have had is don't ask if it the right time to TTC, only ask if you want a child. So we are carrying on regardless in the knowledge that we are more than capable of coping with whatever life throws at us!