Waiting to TTC part 2!

See, I just cannot see the attraction of 2 close together. I think it's this idea that they'll get on really well, but I really don't think age has ANYTHING to do with how they'll get on, like I say, I think a smaller gap is possibly more likely to induce jealousy in DC1 as they're too young to understand why Mummy has other things to do now. I think you go for it when the time is right for YOU, be that 2 years or 4 years or whatever. I've got one rather tactless friend (not so much of a friend anymore after a little incident last week, but I'll tell you about that later) who really pisses me off cos when I say we're waiting to have at least a 3 year gap, she totally bluntly says that's not a good idea cos DC1 will be jealous...like it's a scientific fact. Surprise surprise she has a 2 year gap.

I personally like the fact that if we have another then DS will be starting nursery in Sept, which is about the earliest I could possibly be pregnant, so I'll have some childcare during pregnancy and then he'kll be well settled into nursery by the time DC2 arrived and going to school (they go at 3 or 4 here) the following year. So I would only pay one lot of childcare at a time (and even then it's heavily subsidised).

No I don't fancy two in nappies. I like the idea of DC1 safely out of the way at nursery before DC2 (if there ever is such a thing) comes along! It's swings and roundabouts though, once they're a bit older there's a lot to be said for them being close in age. Don't fancy trying to find the money for two lots of childcare at once though.

was just wondering that too. Everyone I know seems to be going for a 2 year gap, which to me is just horrendous. Get sick of people saying 2 years is best "cos otherwise DC1 gets jealous" as it's such tosh...depends on the kids you have. I think jealously probably more likely with a smaller gap as they're too little to understand about new arrival. sorry, can you tell it pisses me off?
Anyway we're going for a 3 yr ish gap. If I got pg straight away then it would be 3 yr 1 mth.
Feeling really quite broody today.

What would be a "massive" gap?

thanks amanda....sounds like your DH isn't against it all which is def a good sign!

We're now waiting until next month (having pushed it back from last august to beginning of this year to March) but now I've applied for another job which would mean waiting til end of this year....too long!!

I'm just desperate not to have a massive gap between DS and DC2

Hi GirlWTMH I wasn't on the old thread, so I guess it's me who's new. It sounds like it might be a good time for you to go for it!

Yeah that's my theory - he doesn't say no, he just isn't enthusiastic. Seems fairly normal compared with most other DP, so I'm not worried!

hello ladies - I joined the old thread then didn't keep up so can I rejoin? We keep moving back ttc number 2 due to me and my career, but I've now signed on and no work in the pipeline, keep swinging between desperately wanting to have number 2 and worried that once I have 2 suddenly we can't afford for me to even work, but been broody for ages and honestly just want to be pregnant again,

Will try to catch up on at least the last few pages!

idea not id!!!

I figure that with or without planning babies never come exactly at the right time, you never have quite enough money or at the right point in your career, they seem (from observing family and friends rather than personal experience) to be early or late, but everyone seems to manage, so roll on the summer when we will see what happens

So long as you hubby isnt against the id AC then I wouldnt worry too much, it's going to be a massive shock to the system whenever it happens

It's difficult to explain DH's attitude. If I raise it with him he either outright ignores me as though he didn't hear, or he mutters something non-committal like "not yet" and then ignores me.

Typical conversation we have just had:

me: the mums on mumsnet want to know when we're going to have a baby.

DH:

me: So what shall I tell them?

DH: what about?

Me: when are we going to have a baby?

DH:

me: so shall I just ignore them, like you ignore me?

DH: Ignore you? I don't ignore you.

Me: well you don't answer the question. When are we going to have a baby?

DH:

is he against babies per se or babies in the next year or so or worried about finances?

I'm waiting for my "why not now?" moment. What worries me is DH being so against it.

I knew without a doubt that I wanted kids at some point, that I didn't want to be childless, but I never felt broody for a baby. I thought the time was right and it was a kind of "why not now" thing, although I also found the prospect quite daunting.
I got pregnant the 2nd month of trying and at first did feel a bit freaked out by the enormity of it all, and especially once the totally debilitating all day morning sickness began at 6 weeks!
I remeber reading all the pregnancy/childbirth books and it all seeming so unbelievable! My mum asked where I thought I'd like the baby to sleep during the day i.e in the pram downstairs or in the cot upstairs and I remember thinking "how on earth would I know?" I suppose the thing was that I KNEW I wanted kids, I just hadn't got as far as the broody stage, the wanting them desperately now thing.
Quite keen now for another though.

I won't know till I get there but I hope not.

i see you post on there too, are/were you dithering?

If it felt right.

Where I want to be is in the position the girls in the TTC or not to TTC are in, where you could go for it any time. It felt right.

July is the earliest we could possibly try but December is the realistic time and the time I've prepped poor DH for. And to be honest, I owe it to my baby after waiting this long to hold off just those few extra months to make sure (s)he has a good start in life. It just seems like the longest year of my life.

Funny, I think these first 4 months of the year have gone quite fast actually!
when are you going to ttc AC? was it sept or later? The end of the year's not that far away and, anyway you might get pregnant really quickly. I've been recording my periods on mymonthlycycles.com (but not temping...can't be arsed) and I've found it quite interesting...funny as I feel quite frisky round the time i think I'm probably ovulating!!

Isabel is a family name for us too! We can trace my mum's side back about 200 years and my dad's about the same.

I'll count with you! I have to admit I'm feeling really down about it today. Every month seems like a lifetime. It doesn't seem to make any difference how many things you cram in, it just goes on and on, seemingly never getting any closer. And that's just to try!