The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

Thank you, my dear Camel, you are right about everything, as per usual. Totally agree that the whole 'you can't drink in pregnancy' issue has been hijacked as a way to control women, etc. I really was interested in people's reasosn for drinking/not drinking, as opposed to trying to force my teetotalism on y'all. When you've given up as much as I have, is hard to remember what a big deal being told you should give summat up actually is! And thank you for your sensible words about personal comments and bullying

And Pol, thanks for putting your side across about allergies. Was exactly that ill too, and people don't realise how bad it can be. Also, because of my hypoglycaemia, adrenal probs and environmental allergies, I am ill on a daily basis: fatigue, feeling faint, severe abdo cramping, toilet ishoos, insomnia, sinus agonies, joint pain, severe sneezing/coughing/wheezing,etc. Out and about I am constantly having sneezing fits or even nearly fainting just because someone has strong perfume on or I accidentally walk past something freshly painted and so on. I'm restricted to ever going on holiday to certain places in Europe or USA/Canada/Australia, as I have to cook everything for myself and can only go to places where I know there'll be specific foodstuffs I can buy and cook.

And people don't realise how miserable it is in other ways - VAG, I think it was, mentioned how nice booze can be in terms of 'special'ness, like at a wedding, but allergy sufferers can never have those experiences ever again - you can't just go out for a meal with friends, you can't eat cake at weddings, you can't join in having ice-cream or fish and chips at the seaside, and you can't even have a biccie or choccy if people are offering them round at work, etc. - you miss out on so much of the inclusiveness, satisfaction, ritual and 'memories' that food gives humans.

And don't get me started on people who say they have allergies but it's all bollocks - they're who ruin it for proper sufferers.

And, for anyone who's interested, have been thoroughly swabbed and am in agony. Although have horrible feeling she didn't swab for thrush, as she didn't seem to know what was going on and I forget to mention it, arsecandles. Have small patch of cervical erosion and a tiny polyp and whilst Dr says they're nowt to get worried over, have to have dreaded scrapey-scrapey colposcopy anyway (just reading about on wikipedia made me cry profusely). And have me a jar for TYF to do his bidniz in (white weewee, not poopoo), as eccentric LadyDoc says 'if you have to have all that done, the least he can do is have some fun under pressure'! Feel a bit miserable now. But am on verge of ovulating - would I be mad to go through with Teh Sexing tonight, even though it might hurt and will no doubt bleed (she knows the smear sample will be unreadable, as was basically 50% blood. Nice)? WWYD? And can peeps who've had a colposcopy lie reassure me that it's not too bad?

I like 'Shall I get me rat out now, Doctor?'. Or 'Get your rats out for Spring', possibly? 'If I get me rat out do I win a baybee?'???

mmmwahahahaha!!!!

No, I'm going to break it. Bwahahahaha

New fred is open peeps. Look for the rat.

oooh, does that mean if I post now I might break the thread? How exciting! (I'm not having a very interesting day, can you tell?)

Hurry up! We've only got 3 posts left before we get kicked out of this Palace.

I am!!!!!

Ha, ha...despite being a johnnycomelately!!!

Who's going to start new fred?

And the extension of that "we are merely vessels" schtick is the idea of women always being 'pre-pregnant' and behaving as such. So we should all take folic acid all the time, never smoke, not be fat, not eat bad things, and generally be perfect beings, just in case we should accidentally get knocked up.

Which makes me want to take up smoking just for the sheer hell of it.

I agree on both points Cams...and I am definitely on board with the 'Rat Out', option, which you will be pleased to hear, I have already clumsily engineered into at least 2 conversations this weekend. I think I need to give it a little rest as the Boyf can now see it hoving into view over the horizon from many miles away

NB - I forgot to make the point that my feminist hackles are raised by the treatment of women as bodies which [don't] matter while we are great with child. So whether or not you choose to drink, it is your choice, ladyeeez. Not the patriarchy's choice. Come the revolution etc etc.

I fink it was supposed to be: 30s TTC - "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

Muser Maybe go home and wrap yourself up in cotton wool.

Re: the alcohol debate. Because I am high-minded and shiz, this is less about the alcohol-bad-for-baby stakes in my head, and more about the social belief that a pregnant woman has no identity, that she becomes a vessel for the safe carriage of a foetus. It's a continuum of behaviour which goes from random passers-by invading personal space to touch pregnant bellies to Samantha Burton whose doctor got a court order to confine her in a hospital bed against her will when she disagreed with him about how best to proceed with her pregnancy care.

And do we need to start having fred rules? Personal comments - and bullying generally - are way out of order. Unless they're about one another's boobs, obv.

So sorry about that Muser

Fear we are about to run out of thread on a combative note. Anyone have a new title/quick rescue strategy?

By the way when I say the colleague had indigestion after a curry, thassnot me being a beehotch: that's literally what she says. She had a curry when diffed and got indimagestion. So now she sends back food garnished with a pinch of paprika.

I must say I've been scathingly dismissive of food allergy (sorry polly!) and feel slightly chastened...I mean: I have vivid memories of making my sister a cuppa once, and she said feebly 'but has it got cow's milk in?", and I said it had, and she said (even more feebly) "ooooh darling can you make me another with soymilk?" so I did. And when I brought it to her she was sitting troughing a second bowl of the trifle I'd made with full fat moo juice and three inches of whipped cream...(no ill effect noted the following morning). And I have a colleague who once had indigestion after a curry, and now makes a terrific hallabuloo about her chilli intolerances, as if she'd suddenly aquired something interested about herself and needed to make sure everyone knew it.

I've forgotten what I was saying! Oh, yes. Big difference between THAT and THIS, is what I'm saying. Sympathetic tit-gopes to both.

And sorry Muser.

I'm afraid I'm with Scorps on this one. As a fellow sufferer (although not to the degree of Scorps) I can honestly say that having food allergies are in no way wimpy or pathetic or 'in the head'. They are a fucking pain the arse.

I agree it is my choice to curtail my diet. It stops me going to most restaurants because most dishes contain at least some cow milk/cream/yoghurt plus yeast/sugar/msg/mushrooms/sweeteners/concentrated fruit juice/dried fruit. Basically whatever I eat is cooked at home from scratch. If I go to the pub and have a vodka and OJ, I will bloat, sweat, get a sore throat, severe cramps and wind, the shits - all because most pubs use OJ made from concentrate. And that is before I've even eaten anything.

I don't want to go on about it, but just so you have some idea of how bad it can be, at my worse

1. I'd have about 6-8 really painful stinky poo's a day. The kind where you think you will not get to the loo quick enough, plus you are doubled over in pain so can't exactly move quickly and are so painful they make you cry. Not exactly conducive to enjoying a nice day out. Or even a day at work come to that.
2. I was so short of breath all the time - to get up the stairs I'd have to crawl on all fours.
3. I couldn't walk to the end of the drive, let alone walk the dog. The word 'lethargy' is nowhere near strong enough to cover it - changing the sheets on the bed was a workout that required a 2 hour sleep afterwards, to recover. Anything other than breathing caused me to sweat buckets. nice!
4. Everyday on waking I'd sneeze around 20-30 times. This would continue on and off all day.
5. I had the rhinitis like Scorps, so bad, that the edge of my nostrils cracked and were open sores.
6. I had a sore throat, ear ache and head ache every day.
7. I'd sleep 10-12 hrs at night, 3 in the afternoon and still be too exhausted to cook dinner. (Pregnancy was a doddle compared to that!)
8. I was depressed, emotional, and practically a recluse.
9. I'd wake in the night due to knee and hip pain so severe I'd be in tears.
10. My weight was creeping up and up. I was 2 stone overweight, even though I was barely eating anything.

I can't even remember the rest of it... but this went on for months and months. In addition, all that shiz also negatively affects fertility. Fucking A!

I therefore made a choice to give up the things that I loved (red wine, cheese, tonic, pizza, takeaway, choclit etc) in order not to feel all that shit above.

grrr... In short, it really gets my goat when ppl are dismissive of intolerances and allergies. So Scropy I knows how you feel.

Sorry, that was rather long and ranty and has taken me so long to type that you have probably all moved on now! As you were...

Muser really sorry that is a heap of shit - try and bunk off and go home for some R&R?

I don't drink much apart from the odd bender but I think I would want to know that could have the odd glass while knocked up if I fancied it. It fucks me right off when you go out with someone who is updiffed and they get the disapproving looks because they have one small glass in an evening.

Unless there is substantive medical proof you shouldn't drink anything then it is your choice to make.

And stop fighting you lot play nicely, you're upsetting me.

So sorry Muser, didn't see your comment, so re-read. Poor you - ARSEBUCKETS

Muser - arse.

Oh, Muser...really sorry to hear that. Why not go home now and give yourself some TLC...maybe work can wait? I am not going to administer any BESH Palace violence upon you today, but lets just say, I keep a little black notebook with a credit and debit column in it...

Er, sorry if my booze query has stirred up a shitstorm everyone...wasn't my intention to start an AIBU, just to try to find out what facts are known, for my own personal benefit...I like to see the root of stuff like this - I am a bit of a sceptic regarding a lot of stuff one reads about.

As for, 'are there any alcoholics on this thread?' - I don't know, but me and the Boyf used to do the 'bottle of wine with dinner every night - that soon slipped into 'shall we crack another one open' middle-class-binge-drinking, that is so beloved of the DM...we decided to knock it on the head after a while, due to its 'slippery-slopey-ness', and stick to drinking at the weekends, but some night I could murder a glass...it's my remaining vice.

Imma gonna take my huge fat bloated babyless PMT stomach to the bath and dream of Scorpette's tits read a book.

Best answer re: the alcohol poser so far, Cunty (voice of reason, etc.) - was what I thought the reasons would be.

And thanks Ead. Grope away!

Am off for swabbings now. That bitch better be gentle.