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30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

998 replies

CurlyCasper · 22/12/2009 10:21

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

OP posts:
CurlyCasper · 13/01/2010 13:52

I'm happily married and my diamond ring (if a little subdued) is lying with my wedding ring in a stationery tray above the 'puter, among paperclips and drawing pins. Not had it on since about July. Fat fingers, you see... (should really be arsed to wear them on a chain)

A rock would be wasted on me (but I never said that!)

OP posts:
laurielou · 13/01/2010 13:39

Oh & my beautiful diamond ring is nestled in my "me" drawer between tampax & rabbit

laurielou · 13/01/2010 13:33

gin I'm not married or engaged either. In fact I'll go one stage further & announce I'm living with my ex-fiance! Yep, lived together for 10 years, got engaged (cover eyes beshie) it all went tits up, split up for, oh, 4 weeks, cancelled wedding, threw him out, got back together, love each other dearly, TTC.

CUNextTuesday · 13/01/2010 13:31

Loving that dress

Will show Hom, see if that changes his mind.

Bessie123 · 13/01/2010 13:30

gin I've got more used to it now but it's making me laugh very nervously...

Maybe I should go ahead and plan for a wedding anyway; like you say, I've always got Andrea's dress to fall back on but atm I feel like I'm never going to get updiffed.

ginhag · 13/01/2010 13:27

That thread is definitely a troll. Have seen stuff like that on here before. Very imaginative though...

cunty when you do get round to it you can borrow beshie's wedding dress

Yes I posted it again. Am trying to make beshie cry

the best I ever got out of mr gin on subject of marriage was 'look,can't I just say that if I was ever actually going to marry anyone it would be you??'

I loves him tho I does. We have house,business etc etc and a small person between us so I think he's fairly comitted in his own speshul way.

CUNextTuesday · 13/01/2010 13:22

I would laugh SO hard if I found Hom with one of those

Bessie123 · 13/01/2010 13:15

oh my god.

Scorpette · 13/01/2010 12:57

Yeah, but does her toyboy do this sort of thing?

Bessie123 · 13/01/2010 12:41

Scorps don't forget though, Dannii Minogue is really healthy, she probably doesn't drink or smoke

CUNextTuesday · 13/01/2010 12:39

Yes gin unmarried, barefoot, pregnant. A slag and a harlot.

SQWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! to VAG and her successful copulation!! My heart is warm and my eyes are damp and I'm tempted to come over yours and bring my 3 spare clearblues so you can know fo shiz and stop mithering

However, am @ beshie for her finger-rock. How I desire a big, fat non-conflict diamond on my finger, if only to dazzle small children and grannies with. Not much danger of it happening anytime soon but. Hom says he wants to marry me, but can't be arsed afford a suitably pricey symbol of his love for me. ? yes, that's what I said too.

skihorse · 13/01/2010 12:36

Twinkle Unlikely... extremesitting may be lurking in her dressing gown!

Scorpette · 13/01/2010 12:28

BESHPRIATION ALERT! Dannii Minogue is diffed at 38 (and at least a stone underweight)!

TwinkleToes76 · 13/01/2010 12:27

I is unmarried and living in sin and have a bastard child too Gin! My dad once told me he would disown me if I ever got married . He has mellowed somewhat in his middle age though but I think he meant it at the time! That's what you get from being brought up in hippy communes by anarchist dad and hippy lesbian mum! Good times...

Tell the droid to piss off Bessie.

I am still in my PJs - do I win a prize?

ginhag · 13/01/2010 12:15

Hahaha ha ha ha!!!!

ginhag · 13/01/2010 12:14

Sorry bad timing on that post beshie. bollocks to droid.

scorp well it counts for more than having been together for 9 years plus and still going 'hmmm,prob not gonna happen!' at least jeebus knows you intend to clean up your act when TYF is old enough!

Bessie123 · 13/01/2010 12:13

ginhag it was a full minute before I could speak after seeing that dress. I think my eyes are bleeding. That must be the most revolting sight in the world.

ginhag · 13/01/2010 12:10

I have also very helpfully found beshie this wedding dress. means you don't have to worry about being diffed when you get married!

Bessie123 · 13/01/2010 12:07

Great, just started to have bits of droid show. How fabulous. Another month of babyfail.

Scorpette · 13/01/2010 12:06

Gin, are we proppah-hengaged just cos we agreed to get married at some non-specific point in the future (this Dec was mentioned, but don't want to if will be fat with child or fat after child... basically, wedding day has to be when I'm not fat, this is the most important factor. Its aaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll about the dress) or is it not real till I ring up, we tell everyone and set a date? Have only told youse lot just now, @2 RL pals and my Mum. And I think it is still sin in teh eyes of teh lord jebus kryzt if you are living together and are only engaged. Jesus, on the other hand, is cool with it

God, I have a cunt of a headache. Sleeplessness + stress + standing in freezing snow and wind for ages + crying = aaaaaaaargh.

Have been highly-recommended new book 'The Baby-Making Bible', which is apparently really helpful and unpatronising, so might nip over to Amazon in a mo.

ginhag · 13/01/2010 12:04

Hmm ski i was just thinking that you were an unmarried harlot too..

skihorse · 13/01/2010 12:02

gin Nooooo... I'm not married either - I'm a slag!

ginhag · 13/01/2010 11:50

ski she does have a baybee...

CurlyCasper · 13/01/2010 11:49

well done scorps. have a medal for bravery, and a kick up the jacksie

OP posts:
ginhag · 13/01/2010 11:48

So hang on a mo. Does that mean me n cunty are the only remaining non married,non engaged,basically sinful slatterns left in the palace?

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