Secondary Infertility and IVF

Hi All,
Thanks for the positive post headabove, it is really good to hear that things can happen naturally even when the odds appear to be stacked against us.

Glad to hear you had a great time Wiggles, I also feel a lot more relaxed and even, dare I say it, a bit more positive having spent some quality time together as a family. So onwards and upwards as they say. DH didn't have a drop to drink NYE which was amazing, and he didn't even complain!

Lilly I've tried the Pre-Conceive as I hardly get any CM (sorry for TMI!) and thought it might help. This was before we got DH's results back I hasten to add. Never quite worked out how you were meant to 'get it up there' without any additional equipment, which obviously wasn't supplied so figure that it wasn't mean to be inserted like the pre-seed applicators but don't know for sure. The formulation looks quite impressive though from what they say on their web site (they claim even better than pre-seed)but then again, they are hardly going to tell us its crap! Let us know how you get on.

Just for info for those wanting to improve sperm counts, I've been reading about a supplement called Pycnogenol which is a pine bark extract. Apparently it is a very strong antioxidant and had been shown to have a very positive effect on both counts and morphology. If you google it brings up lots of info.

Thanks Earplugs for the kind words. Funny how the start of a new year always seems to make things feel a bigger problem for a little while.

Hello Only, good luck with your IVF. I hope it happens quickly for you.

Good to hear a positive story Headabovewater, congratulations on your new arrival.

Nothing exciting for me, was reading the preseed thread and thought I'd give it a go. I've just bought the Boots Conceive plus stuff so I'll need to try that first I guess.

Happy New Year everyone.

Just wanted to post a positive story. I really do understand, having ttc No 2 for nearly 3 years. DH had a v high count but poorish morphology and I had a mc at around a year of ttc. Anyway, after some surgery for endometriosis (which I didn't know I had) we were due to start IVF last Jan....yes, another one who go pg just in time! DD2 born in October and is a delight.

The age gap between the baby and DD1 is 5.5 years - not at all what I had planned - but it is great! She is absolutely lovely with the baby, ultra proud to show her off at school and genuinely helpful. During the rubbish colic evenings she offers to forgo her story and get herself to bed so I can make sure the baby is ok.

So what I am trying to say is: hang on in there. It does suck, last NYE I was utterly depressed about it all - this one was so different. Plus big age gaps can be a blessing in disguise.

Good luck to all. Hoping that by NYE 2010 you have #2 at least underway, by whatever means.

Hi Only, thanks for the info, that isn't as much money as I thought it might be! (still not pennies but at least not hundreds!).
Can I ask where you went to have it done?

Very best of luck with your IVF, are you having that done at a private clinic as well?

Hi, have been reading this thread and thought I'd say hi to you all

Earplugs, I've had one of those AMH/egg reserve tests done privately, and it cost about £80 I think. Takes 2 weeks for the results to come back, and the test can be done on any day of your cycle and the results are valid for a year

I'm suffering from secondary infertility too, but needed IVF to have DD (3) anyway, so it isn't a huge surprise. I'm undergoing IVF again just now, but have just hit 40 so time is running out for us and IVF. I've massive tubal issues on my one remaining tube, so natural conception just isn't on for us I'm afraid.

Hi Lily and welcome! The more the merrier and whilst we might not be able to offer any pearls of wisdom, just knowing that there are others in the same boat sometimes helps with the frustration.

Sorry to hear of your mc also, it frightens me to hear how common it is (not that it makes it any less devastating when it happens). At the moment just getting a sniff at a BFP seems like an enormous task for me but obviously that is just the tip of the iceberg on a very fragile journey.

I know what you mean about age gaps, but I don't think that a 4/5 gap is huge TBH. It probably feels it because you are very aware of others that have already had a second or more in the time that you've been trying but its a very common sight to see women dropping 5/6 year olds off at school with a new one in tow. I think some people wait until the eldest has started school before having the next to make things easier. I do know what you mean though when it just isn't how you imagined it would be and all my friends have gone on to have a second before the first turned 2. I think most of our friends and family have now assumed that we have decided to stop at 1.

At the moment I'm contemplating having one of those 'egg reserve' tests done. Think they can only be done privately so will probably cost a bomb but maybe it will give us an idea how urgent our decision about going for IVF needs to be?

Here's hoping the New Year brings us lots of luck!

Sorry about the crap rambling post, must be the new year's vino!

Hello wiggle and earplugs (clure too if you are still about).

Can I join you all, I'm also in the same boat. I have a dd, age 4, and we have been ttc for 2 years. I had a mc last january and nothing since. I had my bloods done which were ok, but my dh tests are a bit borderline. My gp was a bit useless with the details but seemed to be suggesting it was a morphology issue. Dh is sending another sample in the new year. I really didn't want such a big gap and I am wondering about whether to just call it a day. The GP said ICSI would be the suggested route, but we really don't think that would be right for us, not to mention the cost. I feel completely emotional as I also got my af on Christmas eve and it's now been nearly a year since my mc. I keep hoping 2010 will bring good news. New Year's eve coincides with a full moon this year, it's meant to mean new beginnings...here's hoping.

Forgot to say, hope you are feeling better by the way!

Hi Wiggle, hope that you had a lovely Xmas. We had a good one here although not in the slightest bit relaxing as we had a few of our family over and I felt as though I was constantly preparing food! Had a very lazy day yesterday though to make up for it and never lifted a finger! Bliss.

Got a great xmas gift in the form of AF, but at least as soon as it arrives the PMT goes so once i've gotton over the disapointment, I'm less of a miserable cow Out of protest I didn't take my folic acid for a few days which made me feel better in childish sort of way. Might think about changing supplements anyway as have been spending a fortune on the Femmibion (?) pregnancy ones but might just start getting cheapo folic from Tesco in future.

Was lovely seeing DS enjoy Xmas though, I think it is the first year that he kind of understood what xmas brings. He has been bouncing off the walls for the past few days and isn't showing any signs of stopping yet. He now keeps on asking how long it is until next xmas!

How did your DH get on 'sans alcohol' by the way? Apart from a glass of red with dinner, mine did keep off which I was impressed with although we've got New Year Eve to get through yet!!!!

I know how you feel, my mind changes every hour usually depending on how well behaved DS is being at the time! Think we're just going to have to wait and see how we stand with the other test results.

I had DS nursery nativity yesterday which was lovely however being surrounded by all the other mums with their Maxi Cosi's laden with new babies made me feel a bit crappy. Just realised that I'm also due on xmas eve which is rubbish timing. I told myself I wouldn't get upset each month now as we know the reason why its unlikely we've conceived but I think that was being optimistic.

Probably starting to feel rubbish as PMT is on the way

Hi Ladies,
All OK here thanks wiggle, good weekend but too short for my liking!

I know what you mean about the nagging. I too am a total control freak and I'm on at DH non stop! I do feel bad about it but as I keep telling him, I'd rather we had to have a few months of nagging than have to pay 6K for ICSI! We'd have to fully fund our treatment and whilst we could probably get the money together,we don't really have that sort of cash at our fingertips! Given the sucess rate of IVF is low anyway, it worries me that we'd have to try and find the money for several cycles which would certainly be beyond our reach.

Is it really 4% sucess rate at 43? Its just pants isn't it and not an easy decision to make.

Did the docs give you any idea how long you would have to wait for your DH retest? Ours did say its best to wait 3 months to give the lifestyle changes time to have an effect but it feels like such a long time to wait!

no offense taken wigglesmummy thanks for posting back. Will have a look at the daisy network later, thanks any extra information helps. Will you have to fund the ivf yourself?

Hi clure,
Sorry to hear you are also having problems. Its like a massive slap around the face to get poor results isn't it. My first reaction was to laugh when the consultant explained DH results . I don't have a clue why as it wasn't in the slightest bit funny. It wasn't until the following day that the implications of it hit home and I have also been pretty devastated since.

I really hope there are other ladies on here that have been through IVF with donor eggs that can share their experiences too. I don't know enough at all about IVF myself either, but is there no chance of using your own eggs at all?

Hopefully there is plenty of luck for us all to go around!

hi ladies, thought I'd pop on and join you. Similar situation but problem with ttc is with me rather than DH.
I have DD who will be 5 next month, conceived after nearly 2 years and fell pg first round of clomid. We have been trying for number 2 for nearly 2 years, I'm now 42 and consultant's hormone screening show possible premature menopause.
We are naturally devastated. I have done 4 cycles of clomid and advised ivf but with donor eggs. Ivf is scarey in itself, but now I have a massive problem getting my head around the donor egg thing.
Would be interested in hearing if the Robert Winston book is worth a look. Wishing you all the luck in the world earplugs and wigglesmummy

Good luck wiggles and earplugs

I second wiggle, huge thanks ladies for sharing your experiences. Lots to think about and I will most certainly also have a read through the assisted conception thread. Especially interesting to read the 2 very positive experiences of each side of the coin. Whilst deciding to proceed with IVF takes courage, making the decision not to also takes a huge amount.

At 36, I dont really feel I have time on my side and think perhaps our plan of just seeing what happens is coming to an end. DH is very reluctant to discuss our options at the moment, or at least until we get results of the next analysis. I think he's holding out for a miracle that the lifestyle changes we have made are going to have a dramatic effect. I am am however sceptical.

Would be very interested to hear what you think of the book Wiggle,good luck with keeping your DH motivated with the lifestyle changes, mine is totally off all alcohol and caffeine too, its going to be a very dry xmas in our house!

OMG, I've just seen how long my last post is. Sorry! Good luck getting through it...