Emmsy's weebles continue to grow.. Onwards & upwards

Welcome back Buddha and new mn'er Ewan. We missed you lots

And massive squishy hugs to anyone who needs one today including moon and lovely cupcake. Back later for proper catchup xxx

This is the quickest post I've ever done, but just to let you know Ewan and I came home late Thursday, we are now getting to know each other after such a rough start, but wanted to say thanks so much for the lovely comments I have skim read from you all Hope to update properly and post some pictures for you too
Having some feeding issues but the main thing is WE ARE HOME!!!
Love to you all x x x x

Aww 4ever your posts were so lovely and it's just amazing your story and how far you've come
Yes, I had the most vivid dreams ever at the start and almost all of them involved sex and orgasms thankfully it was always with dh We have done the deed a few times in the last few weeks but I am still quite scared about what it could do to baby
Sorry to hear about the nasty torso pain and sleeplessness..but how amazing about your consultant am just so pleased for you

mermaid fab that you'll getting the cyclogest too and loved the barbie moment

I have finally bought some more pressies online this morning...getting there Neeko! We're making cards today...

Have to confess I cried yesterday for the first time in ages... bf asked me on the phone how I was and suddenly I was sobbing at her for ages and all this stuff came out about how terrified I am of being a Mum and it's making me low I'm gonna mention it to midwife on Thursday but all just not very pleasant thoughts at the moment.

Moon hope you are ok and feeling a bit peaceful today.

Iggy hope you're not wobbling too much about Monday; thinking of you.

I also want to let moon know I'm thinking of her today...

Hope everyone else is well and having a good weekend

Said it earlier but to echo the others.. Thinking of u today moon x

Dearest moon just echoing curlys words. Thinking of you.

Hello lovelies

Just wanted to send a big hug to moon today. I'll be thinking of you and lurking on MN on my phone in case you need to chat. Tomorrow will be better honey xxx

Ridiculously still awake, dh makin me tea! Just wanted to say mermaid, tho hopefuly thats my cause & cure, i still think ur luteal phase maybe urs & the cure for that is cyclogest see what ur cons reckons?! X

Still cant sleep! Hope not stating the obvious there mermaid! Also meant to say with cyclogest as it a pessarie up your fanjo once at morn & once at night you need to lay down for an hour afterwards (y'know gravity an all that!). Also a bit yukky, will come out in gooey substance when you stand up again so beware, at night im commando but in morn you may need liners etc! My docs never told me that bit! It made me that your doc had to google it, mine did too, its true what you say, after recurrent mc, as its such a specialised field, suddenly we are the experts (thanks to MN & google & consultants) & Iv have had countless chats with healthcare proffesionals (gps/midwives) that look at me blankly as I reel off the knowledge Iv acquired along the way!

You reminded me of discovering my lymphocyte immunotherapy treatment back in march, after respite trip to egypt after 4th mc & last test to determine still no cause found.. It was actually a thread on MN MC site I stumbled upon first of all, there are still only about 6 posts on there, that talked of the Portland being the only place in the uk that does it & how NHS dont recognise it, but it was a eureka lightbulb penny dropping moment.. However it was followed by a tv prog the next night called 'The great sperm race' that talked of leukocytes (white blood cell/immune system) in your uterus that attack bad sperm & also bad eggs so they dont implant, I thought - thats what they talked about on that MN site! More lightbulbs! That then reminded me that mil had given me a newspaper article after mc3 last July, with the headline 'hope after 8mc' last thing I wanted to see then so I folded it up & hid it put it away, but after my lightbulbs popped on I dug it out & sure enough it was the same thing - that in some women, during pregnancy they dont develop the needed usual antibodies to these leukocytes, to stop them attacking the fetus as an 'unknown body' due to unrecognised DH cells... So a combo of those 3 factors over as many days & 10 days later we were getting tested! I will always vividly remember the Portland cons phoning us (again about 7pm) & saying 'we would benefit from treatment' DH & I were sobbing with joy after 18m of preg & mc & no answers!

At the beg of this preg I was thinking, thats it, we have our cure, but as weeks progressed, I thought, cant be complacent & all the anxieties of the past crept back & I didnt dare believe. Obviously we are also on asprin, cyclogest & bedrest. (In credit to work HR they said if someone told you to hop on one foot to make it work you would wouldnt you, thats when I realised they got it!). Therefore Iv been of the thinking that if this keeps working it could be any one of the above reasons, or the fact this time it IS just meant to be, or a combination of all of them.. However, if next June we do by miracle of god have our baby in our arms, I will be shouting about our 2000 pounds worth of Dr Armstrong & the Portlands miracle treatment from the rooftops, Ill take it to the press & go on This Morning to try & get the NHS to take it on board (Im serious! ) If it helps one more person like me it would be amazing, Mermaid is so right that mc is like the last victorian unspoken taboo & it would be great to change that wouldnt it?!

Anyway, I needed to get that off my chest & will hopefully come back to it to use as an excerpt for an article/book at a later date!!! Really really really gonna try & get a few hours more sleep now!!! x x x x x

Ah bless ur doc & barbie moment mermaid my chemist had to order it in as well! Wierd insomnia hit u, hope ur asleep again now! I woke at 4am with that mad torso contortion cupcake talked of, literally feel everything moving up & kept arching like a cat! Starving so got up to stop wakin dh, have a cuppa & several biccies, & to post to u mermaid cos was thinkin of things i wanted to tell u! Tis indeed great & lovely of my portland doc to call, i swear consultants never stop, they are amazin, i fear we have been harsh on urs & he is not actually golfing but workin 24/7 deliverin babies & saving the world! Back to what i wanna share, nhs docs advice was avoid all caffeine, im drinkin tetley redbush & not even had coke, also avoid sex for 1st 12wks, tho still too scared! There are oth ways of lookin after dh also at beg i had such vivid dreams & incredible orgasms in sleep other emmsys talked of it too, they dont tell u that in the books! Felt so guilty on dh that i was gettin some & he wasnt, one of only things i never told him! Anyway i digress, also no exercise, nothing more strenuous than a gentle walk, dont allow a temperature, if u do take paracetamol to bring it down (fever, not heat from sun etc!). Hmm, what else? Avoid stress... doh! A little natural anxiety not gonna cause harm tho! Oh & good multi vitamin, i been takin sanatogen mum to be with folic acid forever! Thats the main bits anyway! Was whizzin round my head & as im out today thought id put insomnia to use! Right back to bed ...... Just leaves to say thinkin of u today moon x x x x x

4ever that is fantastically brilliant news and how ace that your consultant was tackling his must do on a friday list by ringing you and putting big grins on your faces and the start of a lovely weekend.

When you first found the artical on your treatment I can remeber how sure you were that this was your magical passport to sleepless nights and wow 2nd trimester! Sorry I have to say that again, wow second trimester

Well I rushed back to the surgery after they rang to confirm my script was ready. Reversed out the drive and clipped dhs motorbike into the hedge where it teetered, balancing on the hedge with a 2 meter drop a true barbie moment really. After the neighbour came and rescued me, I mean the bike and after being sworn to utter secrecy over said alleged inciddent with bike I rushed to the surgery to be told they have to order it in for monday. So all good and then I fell asleep at 7 woke up at 10 so am now very very awake.

moon Much thoughts and prayers for you today. xxx

hope i didnt scare u all away with my deranged ramblings! Im very one word - horrormones

LOL for a moment I thought you meant in laws were only good at 2am when you are 18 & very drunk! Yea, was partial to a (yuck cant even say the word - k e b a b) occasionally way back when but its one of my real preg turn offs like pork & curry - BARF!

I now feel very guilty for my rant Once the house was fumigated & aired they were really very sweet whilst watching the scan & as much as I smiled sweetly & said not to worry they did feel bad about the smell!

Im also beaming cos while they were here I got a call from our consultant at the Portland, I left a message a couple of days ago as he'd asked us to let him know how we got on, I decided I wouldnt call til past 13 wks, he said he was very happy with our progress & really couldnt see there being a problem now we'd passed our danger times & got to the 2nd trimester [hrin] that it seems the treatment is succesful & hopefully all should be well & we should try not to worry as it all sounds very good! Iv been worried my little twingey pains of the last week might of been my body attacking the baby again & that the treatment may have 'stopped working' he said that pain is normal as the baby comes up from the pelvis & that once the antibodies are created to prevent my body attacking the baby that they last for the gestation, and beyond, and dont just 'run out'! I know this all sounds like gobbledygook but its really good & DH and I were tearing up & grinning like kids, in laws were still here & didnt quite get the relevence, but still sweet . DH is now cheering at the TV about the world cup qualifiers & they said one of the dates would be 12th June next year, all being well, we might just have a little 8 day bubba when it's on!!!! Part of my immense wobble today was not just that its 14weeks & I shit myself, but also 4th dec, which is 6m exactly til due date

Im so sorry for my slightly schizophrenic ramblings today, & also sorry Iv been a bit self indulged, I really intended to post to everyone, I promise I will over the weekend, tomorrow we are finishing last xmas shopping at this little craft market & popping to debenhams in wimbledon, then for a chinese, most active & social I have been with DH for a long long time, much needed, tho will no doubt be very slow & vulnerable feeling

Just have to therefore say to Moon that tomorrow I will be thinking of you my lovely, I hope like Cupcake says that the post edd babydust sparkles all over you (you too Jools & enjoy your weekend lovely). I think Moon that you have been very brave with your colleague, I so shared that pain with you as also had 3 preg colleagues & was so bad when one left with my edd that my manager told me to take the day off. You are really braver & stronger than I think you know.. Have lots of you time & chocolate & wine tomorrow.. Big hug honey xxx

To all my other lovelies Mermaid, Cupcake, Neeko, Blue, Iggy, Barbie, Vjay, Sabs, MLS, Monkey thank you as always for being there & putting up with me! Hope you are all ok & having good fridays, I could not cope without you all x x x x x

the only time they are good is at 2 in the morning when you are 18 and very drunk.

Agh bloody mil & fil just turned up with a stinkin kebab to eat that is the one smell i absolutely detest & now wanna chuck :@ iv spent all day doin housework & my house smelt delicious now it fuckin stinks! AGH! Not seen them properly for a few weeks, even tho they live 2mins away, just wanted to show them scan dvd.. Also they are later than they said & been waitin to get in bath but now hidin in front room with dressing gown over face while they stink out my kitchen last time dh brought a kebab i made him eat it in the garden! I absolutely hate the vile things..

ha its all very cutting edge at our drs
thank you 4ever for that lovely, I left a message with the gatekeeper receptionist he said that he would sort it out.
It just goes to show the good side of recurrent mc is that I am armed with all this knowledge to deftly bat over the desk. Although I do have to stop myself from saying things like 4ever said or when Cupcake went... etc etc.

monkey have a lovely weekend, i think i need some visitors to get a tidy house too.

blue what film?

Just tx u hon, but its 200mg twice a day! Yay for ur doc! Hmm unchartered waters im in them now!

sorry 4ever congratulations and tribulations for getting to 14 weeks
Can you let me know what dosage of cyclogest. The dr is in uncharted waters books, google, yes google ladies and said he was happt to prescribe it as I knew it wasn't a magic cure but can I ask my lovely friends what dosages they were given!! classic. The emmsys hotline.

So mls and 4ever what were you prescribed? my phone has lost its signal again. bloody orange and granite

Just a quick hello from me as trying to get house ready for visitors...

Just wanted to say mermaid you are just so lovely It pours out of every post you make - am sending you a big hug for being such a love x

MLS How is dd today? Hope she's okay... Have been thinking about what your consultant said, and it now seems to be my new mantra 'I'm not obsessed I just know what I want' Makes me feel lots better, thanks x

Barbie Have you checked whether you're given an enema when you go into hospital to deliver? Over here it's par for the course, and although I was dreading it when I went in with ds it was fine and means you don't have to worry about pooing!
Also yum yum yum re rugby players, they sound like they'd brighten up your day

4ever Well done on 14 weeks today - it wonderful to have come this far, may the good news continue! Thanks for the info re Cyclogest too, I think if we ever get to that stage I'll insist and not leave till I have some!

Moon Will be thinking of you tomorrow... I think you're amazing for having got the lady at work a present. You sound a very strong and selfless lady, it must've taken a lot to do that for her. Your post made me want to cry, you're just so brave x

Jools Hope you're having a fabby weekend Enjoy the gluhwein!

Blue for your poo! It's all good practice hey...

Iggy I feel exactly the same re pg friends, it's so difficult to know what to do, other than follow instinct and stick our heads in the sand...

Really must go, got people arriving in a few hours and the house looks like a pigsty! Big hello to everyone else

Have a nice weekend all x

Argh barbie the whole pooing in labour thing terrifies me too! But yes, my Mum said the same as mermaid, that every time (and she did it 4 times!) she was sick & had to empty the bowels beforehand Anyway she said if it happens most women don't notice and the midwives subtly sweep it away!! (She used to be a nurse and attended a few births) Sounds awful though.

Enjoy the hen party barbie

Waves to mermaid has your golfer got back to you yet??

Hi 4ever14weeks I'm in my slobbing about clothes too and very comfy! Just managed to submit my assignment so I may go watch an episode of Sex & the City now!

Oh & although will post later massive thanks for acknowledgement of my 14week today status! Am i wrong not to be singin & dancin down the street still? Thing is im far from it & wobblier than ever, a right anxious scaredy cat, gonna be a long wait til mon, poor dh keeps tryin to reassure me... I cant do logic at the moment tho...

4ever fab thank you flutter eyelashes and bash over head with yellow post it note

Im gonna post properly later but wanna send moon a big hug for bein so brave, will post more to u later.... Also wanna elaborate on cyclogest for mermaid before u go docs (& to monkey) as mls said it does thicken the womb & make a good bed, but fundamental role of progestorone is essential in the development & maintenence of ur fetus in pregnancy, its one of the main hormones that makes it all happen.. Now standard to be given for recurrent mc even when no cause found.. I had it back in jan, & mls has had it too, its no cure all guarantee, but as my cons said we dont kno why those didnt work out so its not to be discounted.. Iv been on it since wk 5 & will keep takin til wk 18. As far as im concerned anything & everything that might help eh girls! Right exchanging white coat back to dressing gown.. Back later x x x x x