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Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

987 replies

thefatladyscreams · 21/09/2009 16:35

Hardly the most original title but I didn't want to loose anyone (well that's my excuse for the lack of originality!)

OP posts:
Cheepz · 12/01/2010 19:01

also have stomach cramps still and backache but no pg symptoms like nausea, boob action or fatigue. [triestoheadinchargeofheart]

Cheepz · 12/01/2010 18:38

hopefully welcome - and no way feel a fraud - I had mc only a week after I had found out but after waiting to get a BFP and trying and being so elated it is a crapola thing to deal with whenever it happens. I counted CD1 of bleeding as first day of WTF cycle and actually it was pretty similar in length to a normal cycle. I think thats one 'advantage' of ahaving it happen early is your system takes less time to get back to normal.

effi horrid horrid, I would have been due March 25th so would have been big and fat and round and well into 3rd trimester and have friend due in feb who is big and fat and round and its gutting, but it gets easier.

soo .... still no AF ...... eeek, am beginning to get abit freaked out and am now thinking its too daunting to go and get a test, and maybe i just won't, and then I won't have to know either way. I am scared now of BFN as have tried hard not to get hopes up but we are getting in to realms of pretty late for me, even with long cycle expected this month this is pretty long, butthen I think what if I get a BFP then all I can think about is the million things that might go wrong. So maybe best not to know and be in denial for as long as possible. Or of course maybe I am not pregnant and AF will arrive tomorrow. Gahhhhh

boodleboot · 12/01/2010 18:34

effi i echo everyone elses sentiments.....that is crapola. I am feeling the same kinda thing as my exH announced his GF was preg about 3 weeks after my EP when he was drunk, telling me that its really good tho as she is due the same week i would have been so at least the children will have a new bro or sis that wk...... Wanker.

i have badgered my extremely nice GP today for another blood test AND a progesterone test on friday to which he aquiesced so will hopefully see some more rising. I have boobs like rocks....really hurting and can't believe that i am feeling nauseous already but am....and dont get me started on the tiredness.....isn't it all wonderful....i am very emotional today and can't stop crying. We finally got this ASBO on this man today after 6 months hard work and now i can't stop crying for him.....ridiculous.....i hgave turned into an utter twat, god help us all.....

SamanthaB123 · 12/01/2010 18:33

Hello everyone, welcome Hopefully,

Having a miserable kind of day here. I woke up in the night with a stabbing sharp pain on my left side just under my ribs. Did a test this morning which was negative. (I promised myself I'd wait, why, why, why did I do it to myself??? . I know that if the spotting I have had is implantation bleeding it will be days before I could get a bfp, why did I test? I am so annoyed with myself). I am currently feeling as sick as a person can without throwing up and have all mannner of unusual tummy pain. I am really achy just below my ribs and it is painful to touch each side. I also have a fearsome backache and just feel...well bloated. This isn't what pmt is usually like for me at all, perhaps as this will be my first period since mc it will be different. I have had another tiny amount of spotting again, but really tiny - it was like 'dirty' ewcm (sorry if tmi!). In between that I have had ewcm type cm.

I am feeling really low - I'm tired of feeling so unwell all the time. AF is due tomorrow so perhaps that will be the end of it and I can feel 'normal' again. I do feel terribly disappointed... SB

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 16:50

effilump thats crap.

I can relate, my friend is due next month and my sister in March. I'm happy for them, but it just reminds me that I should be pregnant.

I would have been 4 months now, had a scan and felt the baby move.

Instead, I'm not even sodding ovulating.

Hopefully · 12/01/2010 14:59

That's such unfortunate timing Effilump, poor you. I guess at least knowing you can sort of prepare yourself, but it's inevitably going to be a bit shitty.

Effilump · 12/01/2010 14:42

Pretty fed up, a family member who got pregnant roughly the same time, who also had a scan when I did due to a bleed, when I found out i'd lost the baby, and hers was ok, which I was glad about, because this shit is just the worst and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy, has now been announcing her dating scan news on facebook, which has just brought it all back home to me. We were gonna be making the announcements over xmas, as my scan was due a few days before, but then it all went wrong, and I know that everytime she reaches any milestones or makes announcements, its going to remind me of the fact that i should have been doing something similar, IYSWIM.

randomimposter · 12/01/2010 14:35

hopefully don't feel a fraud... know exactly what you mean. I only got my BFP on Sunday and my daydream side is already thinking baby names and working out logisitics around planned events etc... it's natural, even if you've got at least a foot on reality and the things that can go wrong. Glad you've got such good RL support, and the best distraction there is!! My DS was 15 months when I had my MMC and he didn't allow me any wallowing time!!!

the CBD debate...? The absolute best when it's a BFP, but the most horrible sight when it's a BFN ..... I would probably choose the non digi ones again... if there's a next time... (who am I kidding I'm such a sucker, I'll buy whatever's on offer....)

Hopefully · 12/01/2010 13:55

I've counted my first 'proper' day of bleeding as CD1. I know I prob won't ovulate on my normal clockwork day 14, but I know I'll lose track of how long it's been since MC if I don't have it as a starting point.

Tuesday's list:

Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD31
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD29
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD28
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD27
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD25
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD23
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD23
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD19
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD17
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD14
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 2 CD11
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD10
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD8
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL 27 cycle 2 CD4
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD3
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle 1 CD1
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
hopefully TTC? UCL? cycle WTF CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
Jollster BFP 10th January 2010

Am crossing fingers for super duper post MC fertility...

Hopefully · 12/01/2010 13:50

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I feel like a bit of a fraud as we only found out I was PG a couple of days before I started to miscarry, but it's amazing how much you can pin on a positive pregnancy test, even if you know all the risks of it going wrong. DP has been fab, lots of TLC, and my sister's been making me lots of cups of tea. DS is a total distraction too - he's just learned to pull up (at 16 months. He's pretty laid back)...

Tigerbear I have only ever trusted the digital tests, as for some reason I am paranoid I'll start imagining lines on a normal test, much harder to fool myself about a digital test!

VivClicquot · 12/01/2010 13:47

Hiya ladies

I'm with MrsR - I reckon Cheepz is going to have some good news for us tomorrow...

As for twins - my DH is an identical twin, while my paternal grandmother was a non-identical twin, so I hear jokes constantly about how it will be me next. DH would definitely love us to have twins, whereas I'm not so sure...

D11 here and for the first time, I'm using an OPK (Clearblue Digital). No smiley face so far - my guess is it should be tomorrow if I'm on a 27 day cycle, so fingers crossed...

tigerbear · 12/01/2010 13:29

hello Hopefully sorry for what you're going though. It's horrible isn't it? Please stay on this thread - you will get lots of support. We all know what it's like.

Cheepz - I'm on CD 21 or 23 (not sure, as last time AF was here in Dec, it started early, then went away for a day or two, then came back). According to my amazing period tracker application on the i-phone, AF is due on Sunday.

I'm going out soon to get the test! What does everyone else recommend, to pick up an early +? Last time I used Clearblue Digital, as I loved actually seeing it in words, rather than looking at 2 lines!

randomimposter · 12/01/2010 13:27

MrsR so sorry you are feeling pants, but can only echo what's been said - he will be fine at nursery and it will be brilliant for his development. And good for you too. Know it doesn't feel this way now though.

hopefully; welcome, I'm so sorry. It's a shitty time - hope you are getting lots of support and TLC.

effi - welled up at you talking about your dog - that's just how I've felt each time we've lost a cat. Like you expect them to just run in the room...

Twins twins twins - more .... Know what you mean though boodle, can just IMAGINE DP face if it happened to us.... .

Colder here today - just back from a very snowy park with DS and some friends... warm up and some games methinks. Brr x

boodleboot · 12/01/2010 12:40

all this talk of twins....i reckon i actually just need to stop eating aero's.....DH would fall of his chair if it was twins and we have NO history in my family so it is prob just my little imagination running wild.....my intuition has been off so many times before. DH thinks it is going to be a kitten anyway.....{i'd quite like that myself! }

i love the suspense of other peoples testing tho.....makes the day far more interesting....

welcome hopefully....sorry to hear you are miscarrying. You will find the support you need here. Any questions or rants just pop them up hun.....

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 11:51

Tuesdays list:

Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD31
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD29
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD28
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD27
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD25
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD23
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD23
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD19
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD17
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD14
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 2 CD11
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD10
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD8
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD3
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle 1 CD1
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
hopefully TTC? UCL? cycle WTF CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
Jollster BFP 10th January 2010

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 11:50

Welcome hopefully. I'm so sorry .

Hopefully · 12/01/2010 11:38

Can I join in? I've just had my MC confirmed by scan at EPU (MC last week at around 5 and a bit weeks, so pretty early). Don't quite feel up to joining the usual TTC threads, but they've told us we can TTC again immediately.

Will add myself onto list shortly, and catch up with thread in general...

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 11:22

I'm kind of comforted by the fact that, since August 2009 at least, every month someone has got a BFP. On average 2 BFP a month .

Going by that logic, we shouldn't have anymore BFP this month, but I can't shake the feeling that cheepz and samanthab123 are pregnant.

Oh well, maybe I can fill February's quota.

I have to be pregnant by April, I can't not have a baby this year. DS needs a brother or sister.

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 11:16

Tuesdays list:

Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD31
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD29
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD28
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD27
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD25
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD23
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD23
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD19
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD17
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD14
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 2 CD11
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD10
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD8
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD3
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle 1 CD1
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
Jollster BFP 10th January 2010

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 11:13

I'm absolutely convinced that cheepz and samanthab123 are pregnant.

Anyone else reckon they're the next BFP?

Effilump · 12/01/2010 10:57

Morning all. All this talk of twins! I would love to have twins, always wanted them! There are twins on my fathers side I think, and twins in my DP family, and I know theyre meant to be more common as you get older, so you never know! Thanks for all your kind wishes over the death of my dog. He was brilliant, I still expect him to be there every morning when I go into the kitchen. Im out of the WTF cycle now, AF started today, so that would make me on cycle 1, CD 1, wouldnt it?

Cheepz · 12/01/2010 10:21

boodle twins would be quite something - then we would have applebeans and boodlebeans - I too would be though!!

leewt hope your nanna is not too poorly, good on you for going to visit, family is so important

zayja have jsut see you have quite short cycles looks like, so good luck for tomorrow, how are your feeling - do you think?.....

tiger have jsut see you are on WTF cycle - what day are you up to - where do you think you are in cycle? testing time clearly!!

samb what news?

for me I had hint of pinky discharge last night and thought dammit thats it then, but since then nothing more and still no AF, by the end of today I will officially be late, by the end of Thursday - if I can wait that long I will be officially very late. Just trying to bide my time. Both times I have had pinky discharge I have thought 'thats it, here she comes' and I have been disappointed but not that surprised so I am trying to maintain that. For now I am just glad AF not here as it still means I am in with a chance. I know I could just test and put myself out of my misery - at this stage a BFN would be pretty conclusive, but testing is like accepting I really think I might be pg and then will be so much more disappointed than AF just starting. Make sense or am I just a total

Cheepz · 12/01/2010 10:10

mrsr sounds like you are having the crappest day. I work and my DS is at nursery, but it is my choice so probably not so hard for me to deal with and I definitely agree that for Mums who want to stay at home and look after their kids the government should be doing so much more to provide support, I would much rather my tax money was paying for that than for some loser benefits theives and people who just can't be bothered.

What I can tell you is that you DS will be fine, the women at nursery love the kids so much - I am sometimes worried one of the women who looks after my DS is going to abscond with him she adores him so much, and he just loves all the things he gets to do there, drawing and singing and painting and messy play, his language has come on loads and he has his friends who he talks about. He has been there since he was 9 months and he is 2 and a half now.

Its also tough as a Mum because they cry when you leave, and then they cry when you arrive which makes you feel like they have just been miserable the whole time, but actually its amazing how fast they settle down once you are out of sight, and its only when they see you again that you get all the drama. They have CCTV in the rooms at DS nursery so on days where he has been upset I go and watch and within minutes, sometimes before I even get to reception he has calmed down and is off playing - cheeky monkey.

That doesn't mean I haven't left there in tears for having to be without him - especially after holidays when we have all had a blast as a family, but I know I am not cut out to be a SAHM, by 9 months of maternity I was desprate to get back to work, I can imagine if I didn't want to work having to leave him would be the crappest thing in the world and probably nothing anyone could say would make it feel any better.

Just don't worry he isn't being well looked after, most childcare in this coutry is amazing, and although there are well publicised cases of horrific incidents with kids in childcare they are very much the minority. Thinking of you today. xxxx

MrsRigby · 12/01/2010 09:45

jollster your not the only one, I'm already at the thought. It's bad enough that there's 1 person on here expecting twins, but 2 - thats just rubbing my nose in it.

Twins run in my family, so I was always told that it would happen to me. So far nothing.

I was a twin (died either in the womb or after birth - I've never been able to find out which), my father is a twin (his died at 21 of cerebal palsy or downs, I forget which), my grandfather is a twin and I think his father, my great-grandfather is also a twin.

The really amazing thing about this is that twins are supposed to run on the maternal side from what I've been told, or maybe I'm getting confused.

Anyway...

DS is in nursery until 3pm - yes, it's going to be a long day. Not my choice, but as I have to go back to work (also not my choice) we need to get him settled in there before hand.

I go back to work on Thursday . I wish the bastard government would suppport mothers and fathers who want to look after their child and raise them, instead of giving money to benefit fraudsters and drug addicts etc.

Don't know what to do with myself, I feel miserable that I'm not pregnant and everyone else is. I feel lost and the place is so quiet without DS. I miss him. It should be me looking after him, changing his nappy, feeding him and playing with him. Instead I get to pay someone £600 odd for being able to do that.

He screamed when he saw the women who look after him, which then made me start worrying about abuse and he was clinging on to me.

How as a mother are you supposed to just walk away. When I walked out the door he was crying his eyes out and crawled after me. How is he supposed to understand what is happening.

And things were just getting better between us, he was starting to come to me as well as DH - I've even had kisses and cuddles.

I just know he's going to completely ignore me when I pick him up and bring him home.

boodleboot fingers crossed your pregnant with twins and ASBO boy gets the book thrown at him.

boodleboot · 12/01/2010 08:26

ha...it so won't be twins now i have built it up like this eh....not long til the scan. doc is booking it for next wed or thurs. I am erally tempted to ask for one more set of bloods on friday tho just to check that the levels have risen past 4500 - that was the highest i reached before at 7 1/2 weeks when EP was diagnosed.....i just want to see my numbers passed that point....i don' think he would have it tho to be honest....unless i cried....hmmmmm, thats quite easy to do at the moment.....

my boobs are so big and heavy i swear last night it felt like my milk was about to come in....you know that tingly hot slightly prickly feeling....TMI? i'm never sure these days ha ha....

off to court to see if this pernicious little man gets his ASBO that we have been fighting for for 6 months.....FX ha.