Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

Hi all welcome to "newbies"...Had a crap day in tears at work convinced NEVER going to get pg and actually not miscarry after 2 years of ttc.

Got my appt at re-current MC clinic for blood results in Dec.....Might refer myself back to counselling as feeling crap about it all at present just want 1 child!!!!!

Last night at slimming world 1lb on!!!! Seems to be yo-yoing!!!! Still, in total i ve lost 12lbs which is what i have to focus on...Still at work long day today am absolutely drained after being in tears this am......

Stamping my feet ITS NOT FAIR!!!! Whinge,whinge,whinge.Sorry

gaaah - i am disgusted with myself

gave in and did an hpt - an expensive one even 'not pregnant' of course.

its cd24 so could be 3, 4 or even 5 days early but am still disappointed even though I could test again in a few days and it could be different result, am now busy convincing myself its all in my head

POAS purveyors should be locked up - its like selling broken dreams!!!

feel free to tell me what a gormless moneywasting idiot I am - but don't tell dh .....

ps welcome jojojoy and sorry for my outburst!

Hi all - can I join you? Going to need some help with the acronyms though.

Had 2nd MC since having my 2 year old, last month at about 6 weeks, am sure because of the pregnancy symptoms and the "tissue", though GPs reaction pretty much nothing to worry about.
Really, really want a second child before my toddler is too old (I ideally wanted a 2-3 year gap). But how soon is too soon to try again?
Also blogged on this www.bitmorecomplicated.com/?p=94

Beaufies so sorry for you - but you are in the right place - we are a proper bunch of rambling, frustrated, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, imparters of TMI.

Seems like you are in a place we have all been, albeit in various different circumastances.

Sounds like mc like many of us have had, brown to red to clots to cramps, its normally heavy for a week or so.

I am, like you, keen to have another dc as I have a ds and I so want him to have a sibling and if I can't because I have left it too late (am 37) will be gutted that was so selfish about starting late

Just because you have had mc does not mean no more chances at all, some women have several, young women and older women, it can be for a million different reasons and you won't know why.

In terms of trying again right away - most of us did that! Not sure if it is any different with IUI could be ..... worht asking the doctor maybe, although someone here might know!

Anyway - welcome x

Hi Ladies

I've just done a great big long post to introduce myself and explain my situation that took me about half an hour (Lots of thinking not just typing !) and the laptop froze and lost it

I don't have the energy to do it all again so here it is in a series of bullet points...

• Just read many of your stories and mine seems insignificant by comparison
• I would like to join you if I qualify
• Just got home from a two day stay in hospital with a 'suspected mc'
• Conceived using IUI so very sure of dates. Was 6 weeks on saturday, but scan on Monday dates at 4 weeks, so imo baby died 2 weeks ago.
• Brown discharge started on Sunday, bleeding/clots/bad cramping started yesterday. *Drs won't confirm it until follow up HCG (tomorrow) and scan (next week) but I don't see the point. *I'm 40 with a 1yr old son, also conceived using IUI. I'm desperate for another baby, not for me but for a sibling for DS1.
• Current over riding feeling is one of failing DS and letting him down
• Don't know what to think - was this my last chance ? Looking forward should I feel encouraged that I got pregnant or is it a set back because MC ? How does this effect my future chances ? How soon can we try again.....

Any thoughts or advice would be welcome - I feel totally at sea...

PS Sorry for the ramble and sorry of TMI but have so much spinning round in my head that I needed to get it out

chamo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hang in there chamo-bean - so glad that things are going ok. steady eddie is good. thanks for keeping us posted.

Evening ladies!

Louisesh - well done on putting your names down, its a big psychological step. Do let me know if there's anything I can help you with as you go through the process. I know only too well how tough it is - but so worth it.

Bigmuther - sorry to hear AF is here but how exciting to be an auntie soon! Hopefully the new baby will take your mind of TTC for a while and it will happen while you're not even thinking about it...

TFLS - no kicks here, take it easy! It's so hard to get any work done when all you can think about is TTC.

apples - France! how fab is that! lol at Dh and the fluids!

Cheepz - fingers crossed for a BIO for you! Hate the 2ww.

Boodle - just to say thinking of you, glad you feel you are healing x

and Hi to everyone else, I'm here but access to internet very limited at the moment plus real life rather more eventful than I'd wish for. Have had a scan which shows a little BIO with a good heartbeat, everything looks good so just hanging on now for 12 week scan when I might start to believe this is really happening. Thank you all for the positive thoughts x

Well first step done!!!!! Put our names down for adoption enquiries....Won t be able to start the process until March as have to wait 6 months after my MC.But at last feel like we re getting somewhere and March isn t that long off.Get xmas out of the way and we can start.

Hope everyones ok....We ll keep trying ttc back to it this week now on CD6 might even have BD for fun later!!! Woo hoo vaguely remember that feeling!!!! Had today off work after a busy weekend nice lazy day off to fat club now for weekly weigh in Yeh can t wait!!!!

Well AF has arrived not as gutted as i thought i might be,i feel relieved the wait is over. Wasn't to be and can now look forward to trying again this month.My emotions are quite high at the moment,but going to focus on becoming a aunt for the first time very shortly.My sister is going to be a first time mum and going to need all the help she can get

Going to try and not get to obsessed about TTC this month,but that is easy to say on day1

Morning

Swings and roundabouts here - one minute feel all the things that would indicate a BIO (bean in oven!) next minute feel absolutely normal and not like have BIO at all.... sigh, am exhausted with the rollercoaster - have managed not to POAS partly because its still only CD 23! and partly because I kind of don't want to know - once I know, if I am, theres a whole new set of things to worry about.

That being said had grim migraine yesterday which is typical of normal cycle as get hormone headaches in the last week of my cycle all the time, and no more feeling sick (poo) or needing to wee alot, or any real cramping although still the odd twinge. Also no boobs action for last few days, tingling or firmness.

So confused, don't know what to think. I will be monster dissappointed this month if AF arrives - since this is the most optimistic I have felt about a cycle since MC. At least next month we are on holiday so there will be ample opps for bd in the window whilst relaxed and getting some sunshine if things don't go my way. Gulp. Onwards with the 2ww.

apples dh retired to take on fluids - love it! France sounds exciting - my folks live there and they love it, dh and I have talked about it alot but not brave enough! More power to you.

jollster hope you feeling ok - its a real challenge sometimes not to feel really disillusioned by it all - I also have milestones and each time we miss one and I am still not pg again its disappointing, but then i make a new milestone and move on - so we have Christmas too, if not it will then be before DS is 3 (June) then before I am 38 (August) and so on! Sometimes its the only way to keep trucking.

boodle good to hear you seeming more back on form - especially since you have had such a difficult week xx

Monday's list:

Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 6 CD39
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL 26-30 cycle 10 CD 34
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD27
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 3 CD23
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD15?
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD14
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 1 CD13?
Jollster TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL 26-33?! CD13
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 4 CD13
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 5 CD12
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 7 CD7
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 2 CD6
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-45 cycle 3 CD5

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
MrsRigby BFP 11th October

Hi everyone,

Haven't posted for a bit, as we relocated from Clapham to, er, France a week ago. Only just got the internet going. Moving two children, a demented MIL and dh was a bit tiring.. Dh completely useless at practical stuff. Tends to start making "urgent" phone calls and backs slowly away from anything that has to be done.

So, on CD14 after AF on pre-mmc schedule of 27/8 days.

Have done the business. Dh retired to take on fluids.

Waiting to start now..

cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepzie - come on now, give us the lift we need....BFP BFP BFP BFP.

mutha - i was dreading mine too but it was ok......really it was. Sad but ok. i'll be praying for you.

i have strange rumbly grumbling pains at the mo that feel like a bit AF-y but she is not due til at least wednesday....i will be interested to see what date my AF arrives on to see if my cycle is back after the EP or if still a little skewy. Ordering a BBT from amazon today as have decided to start charting temps.....its not as hard as i thought it was looking at the examples in toni weschlers book....and a better indicator of early pregnancy than testing....not to mention MILES cheaper....

zayja - on the topic of acupuncture i had one session in and fell pregnant next cycle, ended in the EP sadly but was amazed that it happened so quickly after the first session....go for it.

hugs to everyone else

x

sorry have been reading but not posting...

boodleboot your post made me well up... really touching.

cheepz... sounds promising.

No real news from here. Am guessing on ovulation at the mo, so have started the programme of activity without being too obvious about it. Or DP will go all odd I'm sure..! If I don't get a BFP this year, I will start some assisted planning in January. I originally said I wanted to be pg by Christmas, and fell first month in June. Always felt it was too good to be true

I know that's not very long in typical TTC terms, but at my ancient age I can't afford to wait around...

Will pop back in soon. Hope all well with everyone.

go go cheepz go!

i feel sick ... hurrah

boodle xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tfls f*cking sticks are calling - and I am still 8 yes 8 days from AF due and 9 from when I would normally allow a test - but have such a feeling this month the tempation is strong... but the force is stronger in me (so far anyway!!) by 6 days I will need additional force from you lot.

boodleGlad you have found some peace today, not easy when mother nature keeps kicking you in the teeth.Massive hug to you.
your post made me have a good cry which is just what i needed,my mc dd is next week,really playing on my mind.xxxxx

well, its been a pretty day for us today. i took kids to school this morning then took myself off to startbucks for a large gingerbread latte and finished the rest of a beautiful book i was reading. Felt very emotional and sad but confronted it by going into mothercare and looked at the little clothes. Didn't buy anything obviously, but felt kinda soothed....life really does go on i guess...lots of new mothers and little babies but i didn't feel felt a mixture of and and perhaps just a little bit ....

Dh and I went to Aylesford Friary this PM. Its a place that we often visit and of special spiritual comfort to us. Its a beautiful monastery and where we went to almost on autopilot that dreadful day in April where the much anticipated 12 wk scan revealed our MMC. The scan that ended our hopes and dreams for the baby we thought was perfectly fine.... We lit a candle for our baby, said some prayers then sobbed in eachothers arms. I love my DH you know, i know i moan about him on here sometimes but thank God for him today. He was wonderful with me. I realise now just how much losing the baby affected him after all.

Feel peaceful now. Still sad but more like a healing scar rather than a gaping wound

Bye bye my darling baby...i wish we'd known you longer.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hmm - have no symptoms at all today - no cramps, no nausea, boobs are not tingling, no heartburn, grrrr

come on body - whats the deal here?!?!?!?!?!?

bigmuther chin up lady, its such a downer when you just constantly want it to happen and you try and hope and then it doesn't happen and all of a sudden you are back to square one ... if not pg this month i will definitely be having a gripe and some low moments because its star6ting all over again each time

meita thanks - will take your feeling and add it to mine and hope for the best

now then - what the devil has happened to mrsr?

bigmuther postings crossed, just want to say "chin up" only three more days and you will be all excited because AF will be overdue...

boodle thinking of you especially today.