Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

Morning lovelies

Sorry to cheepz and sam and zayja - what a fucking nightmare.

although i still think there is hope for cheepz

(Cheepz - I swear by the Clearblue Non-Digi tests, if that helps.)

As for me, D13 and till no smiley face on the digi ovu thingy. Have now convinced myself I'm not ovulating. Well, either that or I'm a day later in my cycle than I think I am (you may remember I asked at the start of the month whether I should count D1 as first sign of a bleed or the first full-on bleed...)

Still, smiley face or no smiley face, DH and I have pencilled in some 'quality time' together tonight, tomorrow and Saturday. I bloody love that man.

Deep breath

can I join you ladies?

I'm 44 trying for my second (DS 4). We ad our first mc this time last year at 5 weeks. Fell again in August then mmc in Sept. I've been lurking but worried that if I join in I'll obsess more.

But I think I really do need somewhere to talk about all of this because (given my age) I se this as finite. If I get pregnant again and mc I'll have to stop trying, and if I don't fall in awhile I'll have to stop trying.

So I have a mix of PMA and trying to resign myself to the results of the choices I have made in life (waiting for the right DH)

you seem like a really lovely bunch and wishing you all the best

I am

SarahMumtoAlex ttc no 2, UCL 28 Cycle 4, CD 20

sorry zayja, arse to that... totally understand the whine, does that mean you'll now have some wine?

cheepz, know exactly what you mean; last week every night I'd update a little sticky note on my desktop with how many days I'd made it to with no AF.... So here's hoping that's all it takes to guarantee a BFP .

hope everyone ok

had some strange bubbling and twinges yesterday; convinced every time I went to the loo there'd be spotting. I may have experienced this when pregnant before, but didn't have the cloak of paranoia so firmly wrapped round me before...

ah zayja....not you too...so sorry.

cheepz get yourself a proper test.....

Well, I believe that damned witch is on her way. WWWHHHHHYYYY? Was thinking we had finally done it again, but then after a terrible morning at work, went to the loo to see what I've been hoping I wouldn't. Cried in my office, trudged through the rest of a shitty LOOONG day then cried all the way home. Feb. will make it a full year since I got pregnant
DH is out of town, so feeling lonely and sad, at least he's been a dear via text... and my cats are being extra snuggly.
Sorry to whine whine whine but I just have to unload some emotional baggage.
Sorry she got u too samb - it sucks!
Not quite CD1 yet, so will move myself when she hits full force. Thanks ladies for letting me vent.

mrsr really, don't worry, I am sure I was driving everyone nuts - I was driving myself nuts, and I know you didn't mean it to be mean.

I really like your posts and the fact you are so open about everything and having 'known' you here for a while (and seen you in action when lurking on one or two other threads!) its clear you just speak your mind and I respect that. But I know alot of the time you have your tongue in cheek. I was just feeling abit oversensitive this afternoon.

This thread is great - we have our own little community, but we are all dealing with some pretty hard stuff so as B said earlier its amazing how little tension there is, its hard to be happy when someone else has just got exactly what you wanted and you have just found out you are losing yours or have not made it this month but we all manage to keep each other going and be happy for each other even when we are green with envy and thinking 'why not me'. I haven't found that in any other onlinne forum or even on any other threads so lets keep it like that.

not obsessing or anything but looks like I am going to get to CD33 as no AF, no sign of spotting, no cramps but odd twinges, boobs tingling and I am sure have grown this evening and no I really do think I am pregnant!

what a loser

samanthab123 I'm sorry.

I just want to apologise again cheepz, I read THAT post a couple of times and it does come across quite nasty. I'm truly sorry I didn't mean it like that.

Wednesday's list:

Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD32
LeeWT TTC#2 UCL 30-32 cycle -2 CD30
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD28
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD26
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 6 CD24
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 9 CD24
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD24
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 7 CD20
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 1 CD18
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 25 CD15
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL27 cycle 2 CD12
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 13 CD11
sunburntats TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 1 CD9
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL 27 cycle 2 CD5
Tetleytea TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD4
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle 1 CD2
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 2 CD1
PoppyisaPain TTC#2 UCL 28 cycle 1 CD?
hopefully TTC? UCL? cycle WTF CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD61
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD61

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009 - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
Jollster BFP 10th January 2010

the thing is if you are anything like me...{and we both know you are..}even if you get a hint of a line on a normal CB you won't believe it and will therefore rush out to buy a digi to see it written plainly and uninterpretably.....io had 6 cheapies telling me i was PG yet really didn't believe it til i saw it on the digi.....save yourself the money ha ha.....

b you are very right, just found out that 'answer' are produced by the same company and FR but not for early detection so cheap as are from first day missed period only. hence low sensitivity.

Will get to superdrug tomorrow or maybe CB but not digital! Not Pregnant would be too much to bear

although might have AF by morning

right, will try and stop obsessing now

i think totally that you have just picked a total ARSE of a test....superdrug own are 10ml/u i think....i hate FR so woudn't recommend that one and CBdigi are 25ml/u....

hmm didn't post brilliantly but you can figure it out!

Found this info on HCG levels (mIU/ml) and feel abit better - if have low HCG might not hit 100 until 19dpo (I am 15/16) so actually even on the average it wouldn't show, esp if I am only on 15dpo

dpo Average High low
14 48 119 17
15 59 147 17
16 95 223 33
17 132 429 17
18 292 758 70
19 303 514 111
20 522 1690 135
21 1061 4130 324
22 1287 3279 185
23 2034 4660 506
24 2637 10000 540

clutching at straws - well maybe!!!! deluding myself to avoid the inevitable angst of dealing with reality of BFFN, definitely - but I also wanted to steal vivs 'good googling badge, and useful for future refence as well.

and bloody my monthly cycles which I use to track my cycle says I am 3 days late

i know jolls (reaches for baseball bat) but its not looking rosy!

arse about sums it up right

Hope you are holding up ok samb

thanks boodle trust me to choose the least sensitive HPT in the world...

now have broken testing barrier will go for higher sensitivity test tomorrow. any recommendations - as long as not digital!!

did 2nd test to be sure was not a testing error - from cup rather than stream as read that improves accuracy, and read instructions properly, but still no 2nd line - even though I keep thinking I can see one! its just not there!

all this begs the question - where the hell is AF - monitor normally flashes only one or two days before she arrives, am usually very regular...

pants
bugger
arse
sorry cheepz (whispers almost inaudibly "it isn't over yet though", runs away before cheepz smacks her over the head with any available blunt implement) and sam...

hope all ok with everyone else

Sorry ,sorry, sorry CHEEPZ and SAMB

gah. dammit. cheepz that is a setback....but not over until AF arrives.....just hold on. HCG 1st levels aren't really an indicator as can be anything between 5-426 at 4 weeks so you could be entirely normal today at way less than 100....

sam....the witch got you, so sorry.....its a shite feeling.

will do second test in the morning to be sure but at 16dpo you got to know its not test sensitivity or any of that shite - have googled and realised i bought least sensitive test on markey - Answer One Step from corner pharmacy only detects 100mIU but even so at 16 or at best 15dpo should be over that... so even if I am pregnant and thats why I am late I am not making enough HCG so its all going to end in tears...

have never had strong positivies on HPTs,so perhaps not a big HCG producer but have had faint lines before at this stage ...

I kept thinking it was going to be a long cycle, and I kept reminding myself I have zero symptoms, but as the days tick by..

mrsr no need for and

now just waiting for AF

Cheepz I'm really sorry and I do understand how you feel...I started my period half way through the morning and I feel lousy, emotionally and physically. I don't really want to talk to anyone at the moment, sorry. At least I can drink the wine guilt free. .

cheepz i feel your pain hun, its gutting every month to get a bfn, especially if your body is lying to you making you think that you are pregnant. Its evil pure evil
been there for what feels like years.

here, have a hug (((())))

You've gotta be init to winnit so they say...SO im back init.

Officially began the whole thing again this week.

OOOh i cant help having a teeny tiny excited feeling in my tummy about the possibilities. Keep thinking that maybe this time next year i might have a baby.

I have conciously only written down when af arrived, nothing else, no "CD" days or anything like that, i intend to remain calm and non obsessional

I bought a pregnancy test and have written all over it the 28th Feb, i dont care what happens i will NOT test until that date.

willpower willpower willpower.....

Hope every one is ok.

Sorry.

that would be a big fat FUCKING negative - just to avoid any ambiguity

BFFN so thats that.