Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul, vol 2

MrsR - I do know how hard it is but try and stay calm. Current pregnancy I conceived on day 26, wtf was that about seeing as my cycles were usually 32 days long? Oh and had signs of ovulation for about 3 weeks so was throroughly confused. Consequently it was ages before I got a BFP. Don't give up.
Meita i do love the new acronyms
TFLS wherefore art thou?

MrsR i know how desperately you just want to be pregnant again but all this stress is really not going to help you, your cortisol levels soar when you are stressed and that is really bad for conception apparently.... LEAVE the tests be....they nearly sent me stark raving bonkers last month....its sooooo frustrating i know it is....it is NOT the end of the world if it doesn't happen this month even tho it feels like it will be...vent as much as you need to...

ah.....the 2ww......lets hope i stay slightly more sane than last month {may need help there cheepz....
only one more bonk to go for babymaking purposes - boxing day. then i have done 7 9 11 13 and 15.....thats a good old crack at the whip for this month.

Any news from you TFLS???

-You're my heros.-----

MrsR It's just so unfair. After a MC it would only be fair to at least have a regular, normal cycle so that the chances to conceive again would be maximised. Instead we get to deal with crappy unpredictable cycles on top of the MC.
Have you considered trying stuff like agnus castus, raspberry leaf and alchemilla to help regulate your cycle?
I haven't yet given up hope for a Christmas-y BFP from you. Just thinking, the OPK was positive on the 11th - so you possibly only ovulated on the 13th, then you'd just be 10 days past ovulation today - CB would not accurately pick up HCG this early. Maybe you just need to wait until the 27th or even 28th. Wait to see if AF arrives. And only if she doesn't, perhaps do another test. In the mean time, enjoy Christmas with your DH and LO!

Any news from the other Christmas-BFP-hopefuls?

boodle, cheepz hope you're having lots of fun in the bedroom these days

I'm hanging in there. SOOL arrived today with her DH and DS who is 8 months old. And the drains are blocked so the whole house stinks like a sewer... not even that makes me feel sick. My pregnancy hormones must be seriously weird. Also, am introducing new acronyms. OOL for out-of-law, as in, the people who would be my in-laws if DP and I were married. So MOOL, FOOL (love that one!), BOOL, and SOOL or just the OOLs.

TFLS wondering how you're doing. Hope everything is ok with you.

mrsr - I really feel sorry for your suffering! I suspect in about three weeks I will be sounding just like you...I mc'd last week and am hoping to conceive quickly again.

If you ovualated on the 11th could you still be pregnant but without enough hormone to show a BFP on a test yet? I conceived later than I thought was possible last month.

Besides, if your cycle is doolalay after the mc you may well not know where you are. Could the ovulation test have been wrong?

All you can do is keep BDing and hope for a bit of luck. I'm thinking of you... SB

mrsr step away from the HPTs and take a deep breath - Remember how long it took for Meita and Apples to get back to normal on the WTF cycle - thats why we called it that after all - so if its going to be 60 days and you are averaging 5 tests every 10 days - thats going to be 30 tests before AF and they could all be BFN ... spare yourself!!

Stretchy yellow / Creamy mucus can also be sign of AF.

Why not give yourself a Christmas present and stop having sex for a week. whats the worst that could happen?!

(cheepztakesoncalmzenemoticon]

Right, that's it - I give up.

Took another pregnancy test this morning (Clearblue this time) and again BFN.

*thick brown mucus on 9th December;
*positive ovulation test on 11th December;
*and now yellow mucus today 23rd December.

Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?

I'm so fed up of having sex and it's been over a month since I miscarried so where's the period.

This is driving me insane.

According to one website thick stretchy yellow mucus is a sign of ovulation, but what about the positive ovulation test then. Am I ovulating more than once - I thought that was impossible?

I HATE MY BODY.

Aaaargggghhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Do you know how many Boots points I've wasted on pregnancy tests? In the last week and a half I've taken 5 of them.

I'll say it again, I HATE MY BODY.

And bar humbug.

Aaarrgggghhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Wednesday's list:

MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle ? CD?
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD27
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 8 CD27
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 6 CD26
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 2 CD26
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 3 CD21
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD18
Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD15
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD15
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 3 CD14
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD14
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD11
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD8
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD7
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD5
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
Apples BFP 9th November - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December

Boodleboot - keep it to yourself!!! Fab for you & good luck!!!!

oh my goodness i actually have the horn and am taking myself off to bed to roger my husband....day 13 too and loads of ewcm...result.

hi everyone. jeeepers its all got very busy, lots to catch up on. sorry that we have newbies but glad all the same - the more the merrier.

meita what boodle said - stay for ever, buses are for people without a care in the world, hear we will understand why pregnancy is not necessarily the wonderful time you would want it to be and you can vent and worry all you like. I am terrified I will feel the same WHEN I get pregnant again and it will never be the carefree time it was first time around, but you know what - thats ok, experience has taught you to be a little more careful with your emotions and to protect yourself so you hang in there

mrsr have you got thrush? seems like everyone else had it!! if so having sex is going to make it worse - having an irritating DH and an irritating vagina sounds like a bum deal for christmas

boodle you're sounding abit less than before - you always have been good at pulling your socks up and cracking on with it - more power to you

samb sarahlou viv keeva lulabell effie welcome to those ive not welcomed before and how are you all doing, can't believe you all had mc so close together but be sure you have found a good place if you want to hang around with a bunch of neurotic post mc ttcers.

yorky you sound like a great SIL - as has been said, best to ask how things are going, how she is feeling and if she wants to talk just listen and let her tell you about it. likewise if she is not interested in talking about it, leave it alone. She may well be jealous about you being pregnant, she wont be able to help it and it will probably make her feel like a crap person that she cant be happy for you right now. There is nothing you can do about it - its not your fault though and so try not to worry about it because although she might be jealous she wont be resenting youb - my SIL was pregnant when I had mc and I was jealous about it but mostly in a why cant it be me way than a what a bitch shes pregnant way!!!

so news from the front is that its CD10 - we just hit high on the CBFM - we actually had a great shag on CD8 when theres no chance so am feeling good that our sex life has extended beyond the window of opportunity - and that DH initiated it which made me feel great actually. I am hoping to do the busines today or tomorrow and then frequently over the next week although we are in france with DS and my parents so will have to see when opportunities arises.

Hope you all have wonderful christmases with family and hope we see some christmas BFPs.

love to all

Sorry, I forgot to say, welcome keevamum .

Evening

tigerbear, tfls and zayja any news?

Took another pregnancy test today and again BFN. Also no period.

I just want to know one sodding way or the other.

Used all my boots points and brought x3 double First Response and x1 double Clearblue.

Just so you all know I have a VERY ITCHY VAGINA - THE OUTER LIPS. Jesus christ if I keep scratching I'll never be able to conceive.

Bit down in the dumps recently.

And to make matters worse DH and I are having sex tonight. I HATE SEX. And MY DH IS IRRITATING THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

Seriously, I miscarried 1 month and 5 days ago - surely something should have happened by now, if not pregnancy then a period???

DS is sick - AGAIN, so yet another night of not very much sleep.

I'm so fed up. boodleboot I think it's contagiuos (yeh I know I didn't spell that right).

Tuesday's list:

MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle ? CD?
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD26
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 8 CD26
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 6 CD25
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 2 CD25
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 3 CD20
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD17
Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD14
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD14
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 3 CD13
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD13
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD10
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD7
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD6
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD4
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?
keevamum TTC#3 UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
Apples BFP 9th November - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December

Meita, thank you - that is so nice to hear, part of me is feeling guilty about being pregnant, so few of our family know and its nearly half cooked!
Please don't blame yourself for the loss of your bean, so many mcs are unrelated to external influences - just 'one of those things' which has to be the most horrible phrase ever. I have my fingers firmly crossed for you

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome and the useful advice, especially for agreeing with each other! Good luck to you all

keeva - you gotta keep on keeping on....and find yourself some people to journey with {which you have now done...welcom }

i do understand how tough it is when your in that shall we shan't we mire....its all so confusing but in your heart you will know if you have the strength to try again...i didn't think i had after my ectopic in sept, 2nd bean lost this year BUT with the right support and non-judgement from my gals i have been set on my feet again and again....anyways no-one can judge anyone on here as we are quite as bonkers when it comes to TTC as eachother.

meita stay forever hun.....x

Hi Do you mind if I join this thread? You all sound really lovely. I have just recently had my third mc and am feeling quite down about it. I am also struggling with whether to try again to conceive or not. I am very lucky I have two adorable daughters but my dream was always to have three children. My history is that my first pregnancy was trouble free then I had 2 mcs followed by dd2 then this month I have had my third mc. I feel like I should maybe give up on my dream but the yearning for another is so strong....I am just not sure whether I am strong enough to cope with another mc....I know no one else can really advise me but just wondered if any others have been in a similar situation and what did they do?

Ok I hope you don't mind me hanging around - it's just that I seriously don't know what I'd do without you lovely ladies.

We flew over to Switzerland on Sunday, to spend Christmas with our families. My bean seems to be doing all right. I'm 6 weeks today. But I have to say I'm very panicked. Thing is, with my MC I was also in Switzerland and DPs sister has suggested it might have had something to do with flying. She said we shouldn't fly now... implicitly saying that if it goes wrong again, it would be our own fault . (AIBU that this makes me angry?) Now, last time my temps dropped quite a bit on a Saturday morning, on Saturday night I got a crazy (probably hormonal) headache and some spotting, then on Sunday morning temperature was in the cellar and I was bleeding like mad. So, now, yesterday my temp was way lower than expected, and yesterday evening I got a bad headache. No spotting though. I hardly slept at all... I kept imagining that my undies were full of blood. I didn't dare get up to check. I was certain I was MCing.
Temperature this morning was slightly higher than yesterday which gave me the courage to get up and actually knicker-check - and they were blessedly clean and blood-free.
Still, the whole episode seriously knocked my confidence. I think I won't stop worrying for a long, long time. So, no, Christmas with bean is not going to be a particularly relaxed, happy time; instead all I can do is try not to cry myself to sleep. It's silly, isn't it. I was so anxious to get pregnant. Then when I'd seriously run out of steam and we were hardly bothering to BD, bang, it happened. And now I sometimes feel like I'd rather not be - just because I can't bear the thought of losing another one. Someone knock me hard on the head, please.

Sorry for troubling you all with my worries. Why can't I just stop worrying and start appreciating? After all I should count myself lucky.

In other news, my fingers are double- and triple crossed for a wave of Christmas BFPs!
And if it doesn't happen, I'm sending seasons greetings to everyone, hoping you will all have some nice family time, partnership time, time off work, and maybe forget all about MCs and TTC for a while.

On when to TTC after MC:

At the end of the day, it will have to be your decision - whatever feels right. That said, below are some thoughts that you might want to consider:

Doctors' reasons against TTC immediately:

• It will be harder to date the pregnancy if you conceive immediately.
• In some cases there are valid medical reasons. Ask your doctor why they are telling you to wait.

"Real" reasons against TTC immediately:

• You deprive yourself of time to deal with your loss emotionally. The emotions about the bean that died and the new bean or the new TTCing might all get mixed up and confused.
• Your cycle might be very confused and confusing. The first cycle might be extra long, or extra short. You might not ovulate at all. It might take a long time for HPTs to give you BFNs. Cervical mucus, basal body temperatures, OPKs all might give you misleading signals. Even HPTs can give you false positives if you test too early and there are still hormones from your previous pregnancy in your body.

I'm not saying you shouldn't - I certainly did just saying if you're considering, these are the things I'd consider. From hindsight.

Reasons for TTC immediately:

• It is said that fertility is extra high immediately after a MC.
• It's a way of looking forward instead of dwelling on the loss.
• No pointless waiting, you don't miss a precious opportunity.

Good luck in deciding! Remember, do whatever is best for YOU, not what other people think you should be doing or feeling.

Hi all,
welcome to all newbies. So sorry for your losses. Must be especially painful in Christmas time. But you've come to the right place - lots of support to be had here!

yorky I agree that you shouldn't behave "as if nothing had happened" but let them know that their loss is in your thoughts. Then let them take it from there, they may not want to talk about it much. It might be that at the moment they are more preoccupied with finding out why she is always bleeding and frustrated at not being able to TTC, rather than sad about the lost baby. Having to wait without clear reasons can be very frustrating indeed. Perhaps you could also let her know that you understand that and ask her how she is dealing with it. I'd NOT tell her "well you just need to be patient, it will all work out in the end" - because while it might be true, you can't know it is, and anyway, it's not what you want to hear at the time.
It's great that you are putting so much thought into it, but don't let the situation make you ashamed or embarrassed about your own pregnancy. If it becomes an issue, I think you should kindly but firmly explain that as sad as their story is, it is NOT related to your pregnancy, you being or not being pregnant will not help them conceive faster.

yorky It's incredibly thoughtful of you to ask - you sound like a lovely sister in law.

I also echo what everyone has said about asking how they're doing.

I've been feeling a bit up and down this week as had our first baby been okay, today would have been my last day in the office before going on maternity leave.... and the fact that we've lost another baby since then seems to be making this week even harder. But a few of my friends (one of whom is pg) have been kind enough to remember and make sure that I'm okay, and that means more than its weight in gold.

In other news, I have realisd that DH and I are spending New Year in the Lake District in a cottage with my best friends. AF should be due on New Year's Day so am hoping that being away will mean I will be preoccupied and won't descend into a test-a-thon... (yeah right!)

Hi Ladies,
Welcome to all the newbies, quite a load of you! So sorry to hear of your experiences. Also glad to have you, the more the merrier when you need a shoulder to cry on...if that makes sense. + =

Well, I believe AF's knocking on my door. I feel ok about it I guess, although I had thought 2009 was my year. Going for hsg(?) xray and ultrasound Dec. 31 so looking forward to taking some action I guess.

Congrats apples, I too have twin . Aren't you SOOO excited?

How are you doing meita, looking forward to Christmas with your little bean?

yorky, I second what sarahlou said, it's important to acknowledge. Maybe not necessarily in front of everyone (because if it were me that might make me cry), but in conversation you could ask how she's doing and tell her you're thinking of them.

Busy week, enjoy it all!

Hi All ...Hello to "NEWBIES" sorry for your experiences that have led you all to our little"family" its pants..

Thanks CHEEPZ for reassuring me its not just me with an odd DH when you hear and see stuff on tv{yes, i know its not real life!] you are led to believe ALL men want sex at any given time and there 're all starved of it by us women!!!!! LOL

Hope everyone is well...Quick entry only tired off to bed.

Yorky what helps me is when friends and family acknowledge that I'm still feeling sad, even when I'm trying to put a brave face on.
Maybe saying something like "you must think about the baby a lot at Christmas?" and leave her to respond, or just by giving her a hug and say her baby is still on your mind. She won't have forgotten.
The worst thing by far for me is the people who say nothing at all. I tell myself it's because they don't know what to say, but I've had two fairly good friends say nothing and it has distanced us a lot.

I should be 20 weeks today, which is hard, but I have friends who are pg and I am okay to be around them, I'm sure your SIL will be too. I even bought a little blue teddy for my friends imminant arrival. I was so proud of myself. x

I

Glad you had such a lovely time Viv.

Does anyone mind if I gatecrash a little bit?

My SIL and DB had a mc at 11wks when I was about 5wks. It would have been their 2nd child, and they were delighted with them being fairly close (just under 2yrs) Unfortunately she has been bleeding ever since - 2months now She has had scans and they can't see anything worth doing a D&C for so she's put herself back on the pill to see if some regular hormones help - although she doesn't want to be on the pill at all as she's stressing about having too big a gap between their DS and his sibling.

We told them in person a couple of weeks ago, and they were really nice about it, but I'm dreading seeing them at my parents' for Christmas on Boxing day. Just glad I'm not showing too much yet, despite being 18wks with #3

Can any of you brave ladies offer any advice on what I should say/avoid saying? I've already put my foot in it once and am keen not to spoil Christmas.

Sorry that was so long, but TIA for any suggestions, and sorry for the hijack

Monday's list:

MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle WTF CD?
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle ? CD?
TFLS TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD25
Zayja TTC#1 UCL24-27 cycle 8 CD25
Tigger15 TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 6 CD24
CakeandFineWine TTC#2 UCL31 cycle 2 CD24
Louisesh TTC#1 UCL33 cycle 3 CD19
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD16
Sunburnt TTC#2 UCL28 cycle WTF CD13
RunForTheHills TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 12 CD13
boodleboot TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 3 CD12
Jollster TTC#2 UCL26-28 cycle 4 CD12
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 5 CD9
samanthab123 TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD6
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 9 CD5
sarahlou8 TTC#3 UCL27 cycle 1 CD3
effilump TTC#5 UCL28 cycle WTF CD?
lulabell79 TTC#? UCL? cycle? CD?

WTTC
LeeWT
Justbeenforapromenade
Fingerscrossedlegsopen

MIA (stopped at CD60)
em22 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 3 CD60
trixel TTC#3 UCL28-35 cycle 7 CD60

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
Hoops997
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September
Chamois BFP 7th October
Apples BFP 9th November - TWINS
Meita BFP 10th December