Emmsy's in weeble land....Where weeble's wobble but don't fall down!

Oh Jools - so feeling for you just now with the anniversary of your mc and b'day and bad dreams and you saying "no hope to mask the pain"

All we can say is you WILL get through 11th Nov and maybe it wil start to feel easier one year on. I really truly hope it does and you and your DP come out the other side together. I really hope he is supporting you through this difficult time... He loves you and you are in pain, no brainer he should be wrapping you in cotton wool and trying to make you smile again...

4ever - lovely to hear from you and so with you on avoiding people! I lay low until way past my 12-week scan - I think I got used to being out of circulation it was hard to pop up again! Enjoy your appointment on Sat. and we'll all be thinking about you next week for your next scan - small tiny steps xx

Kate - glad it all went well today and you're now in bigpantland

Neeko - lovely that your friend's son is a fighter, brought a wee lump to my throat to think of him getting stronger...

Buddha - yay! to your DH getting a job but yuk! that he has SF. My colleagues DP had it when she was @ your stage and she just moved out for a week and all was fine.

Vjay - thanks for giving me a wave the other day - right back at cha! Good luck for results, hope you can put the books away now?

BakingQ - well done you for getting through yesterday, the lead up is worse I think, so full of what might have beens but getting past the date is a relief and you have the hope that this month is your month -the car reg said it was so

Hi to eveyone else. Need to go, I'm knackered these days and just want to crawl into bed by this time. Six weeks tomorrow 'til I finish up...

sorry girls bloody dh hogging the laptop.

mrskate is a very happy bunny today all is well managed to hear hb boris was playing around and moving as the mw was trying to listen .ive got to go back at 20 weeks to see her again to keep eye on me with all my other probs going off .

i think im ready for big pantsville my edd is 5th april

Hi everyone. Just dropping in quickly as mega busy but didn't want to disappear and worry anyone. Business trip to Amsterdam was busy, tiring but very good - only drawback is I could only squeeze in one quick web surf to check onf 4Ever

Got home last night. Shattered and still in a wierd mood so trying to keep away from the internet - the anniversary of the worst day of my life is coming up soon and that, coupled with my impending 40th 2 days before it is giving me strange dreams, random outbursts of tears - I keep waking up, reliving that terrifying, bloody, painful mc as if it was yesterday Not sure if it will pass after Nov 11th (remembrance day, how appropriate) or I actually need some proper help this time Think maybe this is all coming out because we're not TTC, so there is no hope to mask the pain ?

Thinking of you all - will be back soon.

barbie hallloooo it is the most annoying thing when you have spent ages on a long post and it gets eaten by cyberworms. Yes when are all your check ups being done, sorry I had forgotten

kate please rush in/out quickly and let us know all is well

4ever I think it is probably quiet common to have a funny tummy, poor you. Makes you realise that every little thing (not that a nasty jippy tum is small) makes us all unhinged for a bit.
If we didn't require a white board before we certainly do for the next few weeks with all your appointments and scans. As dr Regan says a big help is feeling looked after and reasured and the lovely nhs is certainly doing that and as for your dh someone give this man a medal of loveliness

iggy we will have to kick the last bit of ths year out in style girl I have a new supply of sparkly stars which were lost in the post natch and am sending you a big glittery one.x

There is a certain kind of release with an edd date horrible to see it lurching up the calendar and then its gone and we start breathing again and somehow it slowly becomes a little less raw and a bit more managable iykwim, most days... some days, more days, yes definatley more days

Hello ladies... Many thanks for all the hand holding & lovely tx on monday it was such an amazing relief to see the heart still beating away & all measuring up right! We were so thankful & ecstatic that our lovely sonographer & even the nurse ended up in tears too! Tissues all round, they are so lovley there, but our lovely sonographer who we always see is off to Brazil for a month so we will see the other one or the midwife instead from now on.. (both equally as lovely tho). Next up is the first ante natal booking apt we have ever made it too on sat at 2pm. Always booked but never got there so this is a first Im quite excited about, then another scan on monday (no doubt all the anxiety & fear will be back!). On Thurs we see our RMC consultant again too so lots to keep me busy! Good feeling of being well looked after! After hosp on mon went GP who signed me off for another month & also made the nuchal scan apt at fetal meds for Nov 17th. Lots of good things to aim for & help the time pass (I hope!)

Had a big wobble last night (tmi coming up) but I had the runs quite bad after eating possibly bit old lettace, but same thing happened last fri. I was freaking about listeria & horrid things but googled & apparently quite common in preg to get an aversion to certain foods? Anyone else had similar? I was a wreck for a couple of hours fearing the worst

Bakinqueen how spooky re the numberplate, got tgings crossed that its a sign! Well done for getting through your EDD, you did that quietly sweetie.. Sending a belated hug to you xx

Hellooo Iggy - when is your EDD hon? - let us know so we can hold your hand.. xx BTW at you having your own horse!!!!

Mrskate hoping all is going well with your midwife apt today & you got to hear that lovely heartbeat, hope everything else ok with your ECG and BP, must be quite a worry on top of everything else...

Buddha at DH swine flu & your fall in the supermarket! You take it easy & let mum look after you for a few days while DH recovers ready for his new job!

Annie was so nice to hear from you on monday sweetie! Cant be long for you now til mat leave! xx

How you diddling Mrsmermaid at the moment casserole sounds yum but dont know if id still feel the same if Id smelt the aroma for 2hrs+ Im not as nauseus but pretty queasy in waves, Ill fancy something am & by pm the thought turns my tummy Poor DH is having a nightmare trying to do the shopping & feeding me at the mo!

Hows Cupcake doing? Im trying to avoid everyone at the moment too cos dont like talking about things for too long, a, cos its draining me out, and b, cos I like having me head in the sand! Cant be long til your scan now? I told my sonographer about you & she said 'cant she come here for the scan?'! I told her it was a bit of a distance for you tho(!) but she agreed how unfair postcode lottery is!

Hmm Vjay 4 cakes that appeals to me at the mo! Give young Ajay a cuddle from his cyber aunty! Glad I gave you goosebumps!

Blue nice to see Im not the only one with a footy mad DH! Thanks again for being so understanding of the fear of scans, you nailed it xxx

Big waves to Sabs & Lion too - more hugs from cyber aunty!

LBM yea to the booking in apts! It feels like confirmation this one is gonna be different as never made it to one before! Hope youre doing ok?

Bluemoon hope things slowly picking up & I echo the rest, when Id reached despair I made time for me, had a course of swedish massages (deeeeeeep tension releaser) I still have one left cos got preg before course ended so you never know, small steps hon... xx

Jools Amsterdam was first place DH & I went away together, now thats a place to r e l a x!

Lastly but never ever leastly big wave to Barbie! Have you got that ECG for you yet? Hope you're enjoying your catch up time with DH & enjoying alternative methods of pleasure!!! Dubai must be getting to that bearable heat stage now... Big girly hug to you! xx

Oh my! I must dash quicken my pace! DH is doin the weekly shop & I have to pick him up, was also gonna venture into Next (first visit to anywhere but hosp or mums in last few weeks) as BF birthday tomorrow so gonna grab her something & she will pop in with her 8wk baby tomorrow (same age as my preg wierdly ). As said really not up for any contact with anyone vistors as just want to quietly lay in my bed of cotton wool but she will only pop in for half hour hopefully! (am I bad to say that?! ) anyway, must have quick bath & get out the door cos DH wants picking up at 5.15pm!

my computer is playing silly buggers and losing signal all the time again...doh!

Just want to wish you all a happy weekend and i will post when i knew im not going to lose the whole thing!

xxx

baking I think that sounds like a sign Glad you were distracted by your scan - am worried about my upcoming due date too...

Neeko lovely news about your friend's baby

cupcake hope you feeling happier too!

4ever hope you looking after yourself.

mermaid hope the casserole was good - I am getting into my wintery food already

lbm hope you ok!

moon & jools big hugs from me xx

waves to our cyber neice/nephew and wabes to everyone else xx

Hi.
Baking Well done brave lady for surviving today. Really hope you're right on the bfp.

Kate Good luck for tomorrow. Take care and keep well.

Buddha Great news of your DH's job but sorry to hear about the swine flu. Think you're absolutely right to move out. Hope you hear about antenatal soon and your DH is well enough to go with you.

Mermaid How was the casserole? Sounded yummy.

Just to let you all know the news is good today on my friend's very premature baby. He opened his eyes and has managed some breast milk. His mum says he's a fighter. I was crying my eyes out with relief when I read the text.

bakingqueen I will hope that the cars numberplate is your very own personal premonition. Think you are mega amazing for getting through today as you have and especial fingers crossed for the clomidx

mrskate oh dear lovely that sounds horrible. At least you are somewhere were they will keep an eye on you I suppose. I hope that your 16... wow! 16 week check goes well.

yum beef casserole

Hello all

4EVER -so pleased things went well for you yesterday hope it helps you relax a bit more about this pregnancy

Mrs Kate - sorry to hear you have been poorly hope things settle down soon and that you get to hear the babys heartbeat tomorrow

Buddha- poor your dh with swine flu hope he feels better soon

Cupcake- any word on dh's job hope your feeling less tired today

Barbie hope your enjoying having dh home

Iggy and Jools - hope your both enjoying yyour break from the small pants bench will ssome some seats for you. Hope your decisions to take some time out from ttc have helped you sit back and go back to being the old you. As others have said 2010 will be a good year for you all I feel

Blue- hope your ok sending you a hug and hoping things get better soon for you

Its weird day here today would have been my due date kind of hard not to things about what would have been. Slightly weirdly my mind was distracted by clomid scan this morning, another on Friday. Decided retail therapy would help today so bought a ball dress and a coat today and managed to get another dress that I have been looking for a month! Spooky thing today however stuck in traffic jam on motorway and car infromt had registration BFP!!!Was this a premenition there could be another bfp soon on this thread? . Off to make chicken pie for tea then a night in front of tv with dh who I don't think realises what today is which kind of suits me because unless its with you lovely ladies or in my own head I try not to think about what happened if that makes sence!

Hope you all have a lovely evening

hi all just a quick note to say hi .

ive got 16 weeks midwife appt tomorrow am bit scared been having hospital tests for iregular pulse aswell just to add to the stress been for ecg this morning and have to have a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring next week still more worried about tomorrow tho hope hear hb . sorry for me post

buddah at you falling over and for your poor dh with the flu but at the job.
How long are you going to camp out at your mums? I so hope he gets better quickly. Lovely to hear you are getting kicked though the days are beginning to glide past a little quicker.xx

vjay so nice to hear you had a good time, 4 birthday cakes that's a classic!

4ever I expect you are recovering from all your 'excitment' yesterday.
Have a good evening give that loveyl dh a big hug from, all of usx

4ever Sorry I'm late congratulating but so pleased all went well yesterday (not that I doubted it for one minute)
Moon I really hope that hearing all the crap that we have all been through gives you some comfort, and shows you that although the future looks pretty bleak right now it will get better for you sweet. Still think that counselling might be useful x
Cupcake Sorry to hear that your DH is finding it hard to get work, my DH is just going for anything and everything to keep a roof over our heads, but it doesn't make for a very happy hubby
Sabs How's the new pram?
LBM I panicked over the booking in appt too, I refused to let her give me another bounty pack having already chucked out two, she completely understood how neurotic I was thank goodness!
Neeko Glad you enjoyed the ante-natal physio class, I'm starting to worry as I've not heard about my ante-natal classes yet, nothing like last minute!
Curly I'm glad you don't feel alone in the prolonged m/s club
Mermaid How are things in the greenhouse?
Barbie Is DH home yet?
Blue Did you have a good night?
Vjay Glad you had a good time away, fingers crossed for good exam results

It's been a bit manic in the Buddha household, DH had 1st interview on Monday and got the job! It's still not a match on wages but seems secure and he's happy about it which is the main thing! Good job really as he was diagnosed with swine flu yesterday He's feeling very poorly and I feel guilty but i've moved out to my Mum's just to be on the safe side. Unfortunately whilst picking up his tamiflu yesterday I fell over in the supermarket went to a&e just to get checked over and they listened to hb to reassure me. In fact LO has done nothing but kick since as if to tell me off or let me know they are OK

Good morning my lovelies, i have sort of caught up.
moon I do feel for you, want you to know I am thinking of you

4ever I've got the goose bumps again for you, so happy

Had a lovely time away, both boys were great, and the family loved it. It was ds1's seventh birthday while we were down there and he had 4 birthday cakes the lucky thing

The exam was ok I think, results in December.

Can't believe I'm using these halloween icons again, it only seems five minutes since last using them

Ps blue gave you another wave yesterday as we wizzed past Stirling

Evening gorgeous girls. Feel like I've had a limb cut off being away for 4 days!! Weekend was absolutely lovely, thanks for all your birthday good wishes lovely time with the family and lots of food and lovely pressies!

Firstly- YEAAHHH 4ever as I said to you earlier, second hurdle cleared...looking forward to clearing Saturday's with you

Secondly- moon I seriously ached for you reading your posts. Especially the part about a year ago. DH and I were the same a year ago- about to start TTC, just so so sickeningly happy having had a glorious 2 years of plain-sailing marriage. Then 2009 hits. First I miscarry, then a whole load of crap happens at my work (part of the reason I left & can't really discuss it on here sadly!) trauma of leaving my work then dh being made redundant straight after & now, despite obviously being happy to be pg again I am also TERRIFIED about the fact we don't know where we'll be living, whether we'll have any money, whether I can even cope with being a Mum when the other night I got myself into a panic attack from crying so much over dh's job...
Sorry, this is becoming me me me, but I am getting to a point...! And that is that this year has been CRAP, but if so much can change since this time last year, think where we could be this time NEXT year. I'm praying to God we'll be saying 'wow, what a difference a year makes' and in a good way!

As mermaid says, it has really been no time at all since your MCs so do NOT beat yourself up about feeling like this.
I could go on and on and on... but I'll just say that we love you and don't want you to be quiet, ever.

Gosh, you are all such special and wonderful ladies. Never forget that.

Hi cheeryIggy so pleased you are just going to enjoy some time horse-riding. Smile, smile, smile!

Buddha good luck to your dh with interviews. Mine is still hearing nothing. He's an engineer and it is just dire out there for them right now

Neeko fab news about wriggler's movements and results, yay!
At the weekend my Mum and big sis just KEPT talking about baby (titch as they call it!) and wanting to stroke my tummy and stuff..I just found it completely unbearable and had to ask them to stop. I really hope I won't be like that the whole way through...

Sorry can't post more as am super tired.. but thinking of you all a million times a day x

And here's Blue bringing up the rear to go YAY! to 4ever - been all afternoon for you (thanks for txting me Neeks). I know there's a way to go but every scan is one scan nearer breathing a little easier. Hope you and DH are cosied up on the couch wrapped in love xx

Moon think your dream is telling you you need some serious TLC . Please be kind to yourself and book some counselling/head massage/acupuncture anything to make you feel pampered. Have you spoken to your Mum about your feelings? Or your DP again?

Lovely to hear from your Sabsnewmum

Just a quickie from me. DH has driven to England to watch Liverpool play and DS is staying at Grannies as he goes there ever Wed and it saves DH having to take him at 8am tomorrow morning (he won't get home 'til 2am - tis madness but he does love his footie...) so i'm going to have a wee hour on the couch and off to bed with the guarantee that I'll only be woken up by my bladder and not a small person needing a 3am cuddle a la last night .

moon the indian head massage I had last week was totally and utterly fab. Do something totally for you tomorrow, indulgent, selfish and just for moon
I know that nothing will heal you untill that magical bfp that will come along but the above suggestions are just tiny little steps towards some positive feelings.x

its a quick message yeah to 4ever and her bean !!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxx

Mermaid Now I understand better about the counselling I'm taking back some of my sympathy . Sounds like the counselling helped to make you wise . Enjoy an evening on the sofa.

Me too Moon and I second what wisenotbossyMermaid says. Please stop torturing yourself and seek some respite. Big hug.

moon I am so deeply sorry that you have got to such a low point.

I so don't want to sound judgeypants/bossy or any of the other things I often am but talking to someone may help. You must be exhausted with it all. So thinking of you.xx

I think so neeko thank you. Don't really feel up to saying much, and i had a dream where i was pregnant with twins and lost them both there is no respite even in sleep.

well hopefully 4ever and bean are nicely settled back on the sofa after another successful scan amongst many more to come

moon how are you today lovely lady?

barbie am now imagining you with a huge banquet table of food Has the spotting stopped now? at least knowing what causes it (tut tut) must take a little bit of the scariness away.

lbm glad you had a great birthday albeit a sleepy one. Big well done for the booking in appointment all the crossed fingers must be helpingx

curly omg at your weight girl, you must have been puking for Britain. Bet its nice to be home.

iggy pff to job freezes but it is ace to hear you being upbeat and looking towards a better year. I will so second that one.

bakingqueen amongst all your busyness I hope you and dh are ok, thinking of you.x

jools nice little smokey bar, near the river, lovely coffee? Hope so and the reality isn't another office building.

neeko Thats a shame that there are no weekly classes, there seems to be masses of yoga ones here. opps and I should proof read I didn't mean I had councelling for a whole year, but councelling after one year had passed, that might still not make sense

cupcake have you been back since your birthday? I may have missed you, hope you had a great time and lots of cake and sparkly things

budha fingers crossed for dhs job interviews.

mm heeellllooooooo

sabs I cannot believe its 3 weeks, we simply must have more photos.xx

lion too hope you are all well, sleepy and happy.

vjay I am hoping exams are done and you have enjoyed the flurry of family visiting.

Right off to find the sofa, have a good evening all.

Moon If you're still hanging around, are you ok?

4ever well done for you and your bean hope the next few weeks go by quickly for you, keep your chin up xxx