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Original poster

Really early miscarriage - what next?

40 replies

Antiquarian · 30/08/2009 08:36

Hello! I am having a really early miscarriage, I'm about five weeks pregnant. I'm really disappointed obviously.

But I just wondered, do I need to go to the doctor this week or do I just carry on as normal? Also, when can I start trying again?

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
mumsie123 · 22/03/2010 17:39

has anyone recently had a early MC?

mumsie123 · 20/03/2010 18:33

Thank you, i have just posted on there now, even though i would hate to think of anyone going through anything like this it's comforting to talk to people who are going through the same :-)

barrenbrook · 20/03/2010 18:07

Mumsie123 sorry to hear you are going through a shitty time at the moment, I've recently been through the same thing as you, sending you a big hug. Come and join us here . Lots of us going through and have been through the very same thing so lots of comfort to be had. x

mumsie123 · 20/03/2010 17:51

Hi everyone, i know this is an old thread but i think im going through the same thing :-( found out i was pregnant Wednesday and started bleeding last night, red blood and today lots of brown, which is exactly how my period starts. got period pains.

i feel really emotional and just needed someomne to talk to that has been through it

x

tigerbear · 04/09/2009 15:56

Hi Antiquarian, good luck to you too. It really helps to come to talk to people here on MN doesn't it? I don't know what I would have done if all of the kind people on MN hadn't been here over the past few days.

Original poster
Antiquarian · 04/09/2009 10:25

So sorry to hear that roundabout and tigerbear. It's horrible isn't it. It's hard to get your head round being so happy to get that BFP then suddenly not being pregnant. I hope you are feeling OK and really good luck to you for next cycle(s).

OP posts:
tigerbear · 03/09/2009 23:02

Roundabout, exactly the same thing has happened to me this week - did test late Tuesday and another yesterday, both positive, but have been bleeding since Tuesday evening. Saw doctor yesterday who said it was probably an early mc or a chemical pregnancy. I totally agree, even though we only knew for such a short time, it doesn't stop us feeling devastated.

roundabout1 · 03/09/2009 22:40

Hi Antiquarian - I have had an early miscarriage this week too. I didn't do a preg test til tues night to know for sure & it was positive, was so excited & then by wed lunchtime I was bleeding. I'm surprised by how sad I feel - I mean I only knew for definite for less than a day yet it still hurts so much. dp has just injured his back too so don't think trying again to concenice will be happening soo

Original poster
Antiquarian · 02/09/2009 19:16

Thanks eth37, that's encouraging, and massive congratulations to you. Feeling a bit better now but I SO want to be pregnant. I'm clinging on to the idea that I might just be extra fertile now, but also trying not to get my hopes up too much for this month.

OP posts:
eth37 · 02/09/2009 10:36

Just wanted to say how sorry I am, antiquarian - I remember feeling very sad when I had a chemical pregnancy at just under 5 weeks in Feb this year. I too didn't wait, fell pregnant 2 weeks after bleeding began, and am now 29 weeks pregnant. I really, really do believe you are much more fertile afterwards so I would say to go for it. As others have said, the only advantage for waiting is for the Drs and I don't think early miscarriages mess too much with cycle length anyway. Good luck

Original poster
Antiquarian · 01/09/2009 13:38

Congratulations Anniemac (and Lal), commiserations to you fellow m/c sufferors!

Dolly, I feel the same about thinking it was possibly my fault. But everything I read says that there's nothing you can do, if it's going to happen.

My DH has been supportive on the whole - but I don't think it's quite the same for men, somehow. I told him yesterday that if the pregnancy had lasted, I wouldn't have qualified for part of the statutory maternity pay and he got a little gleam in his eye so then I gave the poor thing a hard time for thinking that money was more important than a baby. In fact, this has not been a good weekend for DH as nothing he said was right!

I think I'm definitely going to go for it again this month if possibl. What I'm having now is no different really from an ordinary period so I'm really hoping that I will ovulate as normal. It does seem reading on here that quite a few people have managed to conceive very soon after a m/c.

GOOD LUCK everybody!

OP posts:
DollyDiamond · 01/09/2009 13:28

Thanks Lal and Annie, I know what you say makes sense, but you know the niggle that won't go away?

I had a pv scan yesterday and was distraught at seeing what looked like a mini version of my daughter's scan at 12 weeks gestation, but without the beautiful heart beat. I'm terrified that what the nurse said will come true - ie that I could see the sac and embryo to the point where I nearly be sick everytime I need to go to the loo. I know that "nature taking it's course" ie this is better than the surgery option, but not much makes sense right now.

Thanks for the info on the hyper-fertility, that's really interesting. My hubby is keen to try again when I'm ready, which in some ways makes me feel better, I guess.

anniemac · 01/09/2009 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lal123 · 01/09/2009 13:05

Dolly - after my first mc folk on here really helped, and I was keen to get pregnant as soon as possible. After my second it took a long time to build up the courage to try to get pregnant again. In the end my 3rd preg was a total surprise to me and DP.

You need to remember that you are no more likely to have a mc than anyone else just because you've already had one - if that makes sense! Also - it is true that it is extremely unlikely that anything you did or didn't do contributed towards your mc - try to be easy on yourself.

take care

lal

DollyDiamond · 01/09/2009 12:52

Hi All, particularly Antiquarian. I'm really sorry for everyone who has had a mc as I'm mid way through one now and couldn't feel any more s**t.

I feel lucky that my dh has been so fantastic, the nurses I saw were amazing and I have a dd (15 months old) to make things "easier", but I really can't imagine trying again, ever? Having gone from being borderline obsessed with wanting to have another baby to not being able to even think about it without feeling sick, I'm not sure if it's hormones, a defence mechanism or what?

I know everyone says that it just happens and is no-one/nothing's fault, but I can't get it out of my head that I must have done something wrong .

I admire all of you who've gotten back on it (as it were) - please can you tell me if you ever felt this way and if so, what did you do to overcome it?

lal123 · 01/09/2009 11:45

hippychick - well past the early stages now - just over 32 weeks and on countdown to maty leave!

Antiq - I think you're possibly right about knowing deep down that something was wrong with pgs that ended in mc. Sad thing is that mcs make you think that about EVERY subsequent pregnancy.

sayanything · 01/09/2009 11:35

I'm sorry for your loss Antiquarian. Please don't think you're making a fuss about nothing. I had a very early miscarriage two months ago and I too felt that I was being unreasonably sad and emotional - my DP was really quite breezy about it. In the end, it was my doctor who made me see that I had every right to be sad and upset, that a loss is a loss regardless of how long you've been pregnant.

My doctor also did an echo - to rule out ectopic pregnancy I think. She also told me that I could go ahead and TTC immediately, but the miscarriage messed up my cycle quite a bit. I don't think I ovulated, I had period-like bleeding for a day or so 10 days after the MC and my period was a week late (counting the day of the MC as day 1). So there's no medical reason not to TTC, but perhaps you could wait to see how your body reacts.

Best of luck when you decide to TTC again and fingers crossed for all of us!

LittleOneMum · 01/09/2009 11:17

Antiquarian

Thanks for posting this thread! I had an early miscarriage a few weeks ago and was coming on to ask all the same questions as you when i found your thread. We'll get through this. I have started trying again straight away but I have to say that i have not had the usual ovulation signs this month, so maybe it's just too early to try straight away? Keeping my fingers crossed for both of us.

Original poster
Antiquarian · 01/09/2009 08:45

Hi Hippychick! That's a really interesting question. For me, I think I'm glad that I knew. I'm a bit of a control freak I'm afraid and I'd been getting my knickers in a twist about HOW you MAKE YOURSELF get pregnant. This has reminded me that a) you can't, you either do or you don't and b) that it may or may not work out, so to try and chill out a bit. But on the other hand, I have been pregnant twice before this, once ended in termination (nightmare) and second in my lovely DD. Anyway, in both these pregnancies I felt unmistakably pregnant. On this latest one, although I got the BFP, I had only one day of feeling even a little bit pregnant. After that I was trying to convince myself that I felt sick or something but knew that I didn't really. On Sunday morning I woke up thinking, bum, I STILL don't feel sick, and about one minute later ... got my period. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if you get the early BFP, I think that I knew deep down this time that perhaps things weren't quite right so should have been more cautions in my happiness!

What a long rambly answer. Sorry, still feeling a bit emotional I think!! Good luck with TTC.

OP posts:
hippychick66 · 31/08/2009 16:56

lal123 glad to hear that you're preg again. How awful for you to have had 2 mc's. Hopefully you're past the early stages with this pregnancy ??? It'll all be worth it in the end - I promise.

hippychick66 · 31/08/2009 16:53

Thanks ladies for your answers. If I get to day 28 this month without AF arriving (my usual cycle length) then I will try really hard not to test too early. Having said that, with my second DS I knew 100% I was preg even before Af was due. Good luck SkiHorse. Hope it sticks soon. Dildocam - ha ha what a way to describe it. Honestly, the things we women have to go through!

lal123 · 31/08/2009 15:53

mine were at about 7 and about 9 weeks - so no chance really of not knowing I was pregnant. In hindsight it would have been much better not to have known I was pregnant at all. Having had 2 previous mcs had a horrible impact on this pregnancy - I could never relax in the early stages, when we told our parents, instead of being pleased for us, their response was "better not say anything too soon", every symptom and every lack of symptom makes you think you're going to have another mc. So I wish I'd had both mcs earlier and not known I was preg.

skihorse · 31/08/2009 15:46

hippychick Yes and no. No - for the obvious reasons... but Yes because I'm 35 and this was my first ever pregnancy and I'd been torturing myself whether it would ever happen. The previous month I'd experienced dildocam and been told that there was evidence that I'd ovulated - and I got pregnant the following month. Because ovaries alternate at least now I know I'm "firing off both cylinders" as it were. I can do it... it's just a question of it "sticking" now.

I mc'd early and it was more painful than a normal period - but quantity of blood loss was not significantly different.

hippychick66 · 31/08/2009 15:17

So sorry to hear of your early miscarriage, Antiqarian. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be to have all the joy and excitement taken away. Good luck for future tries.

I have a quick question for you and all the others who have experienced this. When it happened, did you wish you hadn't known you were pregnant? I am ttc #3 at the moment and with all these tests you can get that tell you v early on if you are preg, it seems sooo tempting. I keep thinking that I should wait until AF is really late before testing (which hasn't happened yet).

It seems like so many women on this site have suffered a mc at about 5 weeks and I wonder if they would be better off not knowing and just thinking AF was late. Or is it so different from a normal period that you'd know anyway. Sorry, if I've offended anyone with my ignorance!

FanjolinaJolie · 31/08/2009 14:57

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I wouldn't think you have to wait until your next cycle if you don't wish to. If you know your ovulation signs it might be worth noting when you think you have ovulated (by OPK, temping/charting or just 'knowing') so that if you did become pregnant that cycle you would have something to work from. Just a thought.

Hope you get your BFP very soon