Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

laurie (& zirc, to a lesser degree) It's really tough having to feel happy for those blessed with updiffedness when we're not, even when there are lots of good reasons to feel happy for them. Convoluted and ridiculous sentence, but you know what I mean. Am hitting you over the head with an enormo comedy hammer so that you stagger around seeing stars.

Lol, I'm tighter than VAG, well until tuesday

I think seeing as TGO's never been to the US at all, it has to be NYC for his first trip really.

Museum of sex, yet another place where we will find out we is doing it all Wrong!

Cosmo YANBU - bloody patronising tosswit. However, only a couple more days in his company, right?

I'd second VAG's recommendation - Boston is lovely. But so is New York. I'd go here and here. Ooh, and there's a fabulous "proper" diner car if you can be arsed to trog out to Williamsburg in Brooklyn www.relish.com/?page=history - ok, it's full of hipster kids but it is super-fun and pretty to look at. And the Museum of Sex is good for a giggle. Sorry, carried away with NYC love.

I think I'm the next on the boards to be dildocammed. And LBH will be the next partner to face the spunk-cup...Da da da dum etc etc.

"new doors" is a euphemism for what exactly? What did they do to you at the fertility clinic?

You could always just shred it and then say "oops sorry, I think I just did this" and place the pile of paper shavings on the MD's desk. They are after all mkaing you redundant. The cunts.

CosNY I'd be hacked off as well. Take it as a sign they don't expedt you to do any more strenuous work in your last few days, open the post then spend the rest of the day on the interweb researching your trip to NY. Also take a long lunch (5 hrs).

I was tempted by that ski I have to say.

I like your thinking re the holiday, good call.

Just got confirmation my new doors are being fitted on Tusday. Yeee-ha! AIBU to be so unutterably excited by a set of doors??

YABTFUYMB! Tbh, as they've already given you a heeeeuge pay-off and you're leaving I'd just file it in the bin.

Book the holiday to NYC/Boston and when you're there buy as many tiny-weeny-eeny pairs of designer jeans as you can stuff in your suitcase. Also make sure you splurge on a pair of Louboutins bearing in mind your feet may go up a size during pregnancy and never return. Book a hotel with a room on the 7th floor and no elevator - also try and see if you can get a layover in Zimbabwe or something. This will guarantee diffedness.

AIBU to be fucked off by this?

We work in a small office (usually only 2 of us in) in a building full of offices rented out by various businesses, so we have pigeon holes for post by one of the entrances. I generally get the post and open it becuase I've been here longer than my colleague (lets call him Dan, for that is his name), so it got to be a habit. Dan is staying, I am being redundisised, but for the moment we do the same job. This morning, I got in to find Dan has been and got the post and put it on my desk to open.

I can't be arsed to say anything becuase I'm only with him 3 more days (he's out of the office 2 days next week). Besides I spent about 1/2 an hour on the phone yesterday slagging him off while he was in a meeting and I think he heard!

cosi - NY trip sounds ace. Or Boston - I'd go to Boston cos I am obsessed with it. Also the sales tax is lower so there's good shoppagement. (What do you mean, of course that's a word)

Well I have 1 more week of work after today. Feels a bit odd. Just want to stop now really. Looking forward to my 2 weeks off though

Am thinking of spending some of my redundancy money on a trip to Noo Yoik at the end of Nov / beginning of Dec. Any recommendations of nice places to stay / eat etc? its (gulp) 20 years since I went so it's probably changed a fair bit!

Morning lovely BESHs! Am still chortling about my tight VAG (how did you all know?) despite MN booting me out every time I tried to reply yesterday...at one stage I was told MN was down for maintenance until 9am today...argh! Luckily it was all piffle.

Thanks for the wise words re: temping and POKs generally (Much prefer this to OPK - can we adopt?) It is, as I suspected, another way of torturing myself and IABU to even consider. At least until my blood test results come back.

laurie SILs story sounds horrific - almost enough to persuade me to stop all this nonsense and get back on the pill. And despite this lovely, happy news for your SIL, here in the Palace you are allowed to swear and cuss when nice things happen to others in a sort of reverse schadenfreude (and that tune is now stuck in my head for the day...again).

We should have a Reverse Schadenfreude pit - with lots of punchbags (any DM journo wil do) and gin from a tap you can just lay under.

cnutface Please don't do a wildfig, move West and never come to the Palace again! But happy moving-day.

Fucking bastard updiffed people. How bloody dare they! Chinese burns all round to those who have evil differs stalking their every move, having the temerity to live next door or be related to them. Not bloody fair!

I have a fear that my childhood friend who is getting married next year and is only 30 will be diffed before me, then I really will loose the plot. I very nearly lost the plot last year when a friend who hadn't even had a girlfriend the entire 12 years we'd known him got married and had a baby within the space of 2 years.

diamond I had a similar issue a few months ago which I told here. I was at the stables and got talking to a VERY pregnant lady who told me she was looking after her daughter's horse... whilst she sat her finals! Which puts the daughter at 21 minimum and this woman was no gymslip mum!

Don't waste biscuits - it's rude!

wtf is a pok stick?

OPK

ski have i really got a good cycle??
I've always had a regular cycle but I've been using the cheapie pok sticks and never seem to get a +.

Bessie fantastic news well done Lets have a party

I am still in shock following an incident that has occurred. Whilst getting into the car I waved cheerily to my neighbour and as she turned my eyes were drawn to her rounded belly. My fucking neighbour is up-diffed. She's fucking 41 and already has 4 sproglets, 2 of which have fucking left home. How greedy is she? So now, I have it rubbed in my face every single day. (obviously I am very pleased for her, not in the least bit envious and congratulated her in an OTT way). I WANT ONE NOW.

There, rant over, sorry birds.
Whres the gin? Will try it over cornflakes too.

Good love with the move cunty

cunty noooooooo! You might find yourself "getting a life" . I hope you can get internet asap - we will miss you greatly! When will you be back at work abusing your internet privileges?

curly I saw on the may bus that you're not sure how long your cycle length is - do you suppose it's just teasing you?

diamond I stalked you too on the May bus and see you've got a good short cycle. My GP told me that those are the best cycles for diffness because it means your body ovulates regularly, R2D2 and the process starts up again nice and sharpish.

I did post at a ridiculously early hour this morning after POAS and now my message has gone missing. Twas a well crafted one too.

Anyhoo, peed on a cheapie and it's still a no. But no dastardly droid either. Parents arrive tonight, so might be awol for a while.

Happy moving cunty, I'll try to catch up wwith you all when my mum's not looking

Ladies I am moving house today and will be without internet connection for as long as it takes AOL to get their asses sorted.

Good luck to all those on a 2WOOFL if I'm not around before then - fingers crossed!!

xxx

Curly Have you POTFS yet? We need to know!

laurie I simply adore comedy anvils - keep 'em coming.

I feel like I'm surrounded by morons right now. jailbait had an interesting time at the airport the other day. He flew Easyjet because my private plane is undergoing maintenance. Anyway, the chap in the queue in front was en route to Geneva, ranting in French about wanting to take his 3 suitcases on as handluggage . Spent 30 minutes arguing with everyone behind getting more and more agitated. Eventually coughed up the 15, yes fifteen euros and checked his bag in. All over, or so you would've thought. Jailbait was sitting on the plane getting ready for take-off when suddenly there was a bit of a panic amongst the crew. They have one more passenger than they were supposed to be taking to Edinburgh. Turns out Captain Geneva had managed to somehow, by angry French swearing? got himself on to the Scotland-bound flight. He was ordered off and missed his flight to Geneva. I wonder if his replacement was more than 15 euros or not?

What is everybody doing for this weekend? Any fantastic plans from any of you?

Apologies begrduge - WTF?

Too many please's in last sentence.

Must learn to preview message before un-leashing my stupidity on the masses.

More gin!

Morning ladies,

Congratulations, bess that's fab news! Don't disappear on us!

(Am I a cow for being envious?)

Boring rant alert, so skim over now.

My sister-in-law is updiffed. Yey. I am truly pleased for her & hubby (DP's brother). They have one gorgeous little boy (it was after seeing him for the first time that I was finally persuaded to stop taking the pill). She got up-diffed again earlier this year, but there were some problems & she was told the baby wouldn't survive. As she was 4+ months she had to be induced & go through birth. So in no way, shape or form do I begrduge them happiness at this PG.

But..............when will it be my turn to announce the family happy news? I think I'm actually going mental. I still don't feel what I would class as "traditionally" maternal, ie I still want to drop-kick next door's toddler when he cries in the garden, but I've been in a FOUL mood since I found out about sister-in-law. Poor boyf, even shouted at him that his wank-in-a-pot was obviously a waste of time as his brother had the super-sperm. (WTF is super-sperm?)

They don't live in the UK & are coming home for Christmas with boyf's dad. So we're going to visit. Yey!

To top it all we've been invivted to a friend's BBQ tomorrow - in the afternoon as they all have children.

Once again, fucking yey!

It sucks to be me

Please ignore my drunken rants & pass me the gin for my cornflakes, please.

As you were, x

Does anyone fancy a look at my judgeypants?

www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAll Flag=true&catalogId=19551&storeId=12556&categoryId=59924&parentcategoryrn=42317&productId=1375709& langId=-1

I believe the correct response to those is 'boak', is it not, my Scotch1 friends?

Hur hur, 'multi-humped', tee hee, fnarr, snurk! You're SWI-mad, Curly!2 Is the theory about the high cervix being that one can then get as much hot cock as humanly possible up there? BTW, no R2D2 and you haven't POASed yet? Do your duty to your fellow BESHes and gerronwi'it (as we'd say round my way)!

POAS! POAS! POAS! POAS!

1 Buahahah!
2 I don't care how tenuous it is, I love me a double-entendre...

"fuck off cunty baws" makes me feel at home. hearing it in glasgow accent of course.

Congrats bess [hair pull and then man hug]

well, the dastardly droid has not, in fact, made an appearance.

for those wanting "serious" question answers. I peed on cheap sticks for days and days and never saw anything close to a positive result. My temp chart makes a multi-humped camel, and I think your cervix should be high when you are ripe for a good shagging.

Now, I'm off to continue my "I'm pregnant reallY" delusion and eat the homemade pizza that has just been laid out in front of me. (Guess last night's flounce has been forgiven]

Personally I think nearly everything in AIBU should be answered with "YABU and you really need to get yourself a hobby."

Scorpette Your book is doing you more damage than sport.

AIBU for saying "fuck off cunty baws" at nearly every thread on this site?