Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

Is that some sort of euphamism cunty?

fuck! I lookd away for 2 seconds to wrap my cutlery...!

teehee - does it have big scary teeth?

Nope, the word beaver always makes me laugh.

Scorpette If his sperm was "any good" it would happily last until mid-week - you might want to remind him of that.

I do believe if I were temping too it would be just too much stress, as it is I feel I'm hindering myself by being in touch with my cervix body. I'd like to be one of those who says "oooh periods, yeh I wondered what that was about innit", "cock? Up my fanjo?, fo shiz?" Ah, blessed are the ignorant because they have 16 kids and a giro book.

PS Zirc - I'm the one who writes too much a lot...

Talking of tight VAGs, I am still too prissy to start groping me cervix... just yet. Am dismayed about realising that the temp readings taking months to get used to. I want results NOW, goddamit. I was that annoying little bastard at school/uni who never did any revision or put any effort in and still got top marks, which was fun then but means I lack the ability to work at stuff, 'be in for the long haul' and wait to see efforts pay off. Fucksticks.

TYF is the same. He's already sulked at me the last 2 months for having the audacity to ovulate mid-week, instead of the weekend (as I have already moaned about many times before). I can't be mad at him though - every time I have a wobble about being an ancient BESH, he says that I'm so young-looking and youthful in outlook, etc. (ie v immature); he can't be dissuaded from the notion that if I look younger on the outside that my ovaries aren't bouncing with mid-20s health either. Gawd, I wish/hope he's right. Although I suspect he mainly wants me to updiffed to a)shut me up and b)enjoy the benefits of Chesty Morgan-style pg norks,

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesty_Morgan

Ski, your warped fantasy sounds like the uncut version of the 'Hit Me Baby (one more time)' vid And you're right about the piss-sticks: I use eBay ones and can assure VAG that they are as disappointing and misleading as the expensive clearblue ones I've also tried.

Anyone ever wonder if we're trying all these things to maximise our chances but the stress involved and relying upon them instead of our instincts is making things worse?

Am I the only person who snorted with oo-er, missus laughter at 'nosy beaver hovering around my area'? Are you our 3rd lesbot or wot, Zircy?

haha maybe it's a Veloceraptor - "oooh clever girl" as it bites the head off of... right, I'll stop there!

Bit of both ski the vag is somewhat scaly due to all the bike riding

So perverse am I that I didn't realise you meant stingey, I thought you meant tight as in tight vag and I thought "what's a small fanny got to do with POAS?"

Is the dinosaur in reference to your vag or your picture?

Ah something suitably ancient and prehistoric then . I'm going to stop being mean to everyone now and shut up

VAG is well tight, she wouldn't need the bucket fanny sized mooncup!

cunty it looks a bit like a slightly mutated dinosaur.

I think some of you are not taking this TTC seriously!

"tight VAG" sniggers

Have you joined them up cosmo? What animal do they make?

The TCOYF book talks about cervixes. I declined investigating mine.

VAG if you are tight, temping is better, but you won't get a result straight away, you need to do it for a couple of months to see if there is a pattern to when you are ovulating. or be like me and just have random dots all over the place and be unsure if it's your body not functioning correcly or you are a fuckwit who can't operate a thermometer and pencil.

VAG real piss-sticks are expensive if you've got weird cycles, but I think you can get equally inconclusive results from ebay cheapies. In your instance you'd probably be better off i) temping or ii) and bear with me... having regular sex. (n.b., not bumsex)

ladies - I know some of you are taking this TTC lark seriously with your BBT and your charts and fings - do any of you know about cervix's? What they ought to feel like at which stage of your cycle?

If I'm not pg this month I'm buying a school uniform, a packet of Rothmans, ditching the Gin for Pink Lady and dragging jailbait down an alleyway.

\O

Zirconia - you found us! - have a bottle of gin!

Right BESHs I am now seriously flirting with actually finding out if I am ov'ing via some sort of purchase. Should it be wee-sticks or a thermometer? - answers on a crate of Bolly, please. Wee-sticks - aren't they expensive if I have cycles of apparently random lengths? And is temping to much of a faff/too reliant on not being a fuckwit?

laurie - howis the bladder? - nice and full yet?

I'm making a jug of long island iced tea - who's in?

Odd only in timing that we are a top pick. it goes without saying that we are erudite (ooh get me with the big words) and witty enough to feature there regularly. Although perhaps they think we are now too hung up on alcohol and violence to be showcased?

zirc If I give you a black eye the nosy beaver will look at that instead of your screen. Now, how do you fancy I go about that? You can have your drink when I'm finished - but [stern look over me specs] hand over the cheese first!

please please give me a chance with awful spelling etc... I have a nosey beaver hovering around my area and no one in the real world knows I'm TTC. Will try harder

just time for a quickie ladies, rack them up, i'm gagging for a shot of anything.
Scorp i'm totally in agreement that nightmare RTOD = supreme fertilitypenthouseuterus-- am am still deluding myself that I could actually one day make bloody use of it.
Laurie when the zip catastophre happened to me, i used a stapler to fasten it back up, although they were firing across the office every time i dared to move my big ass!
cunty i feel liberated, having been brought up to never use or speak of the C word... cunty cunty cunt CUNT CUNT CUNT cunty bollocks cunt .
now, wheres my bloody mary? crackers and cheese anyone?

editor's picks on the conception (main site, not talk) front page include what appears to be one of the old Mid 30s threads - before the gin bottles were opened. Skater was last to post.

Bizarre that a thread that hasn't been used for months should be a pick of the day...