Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

Oh My Sweet Jesus, who GIVES a living fuck?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/823001-if-i-cut-off-a-couple-of-nextdoo rs-roses-and

Am allergic to Nurofen (of course). Have taken paracetamol AND Buscopan AND am wearing one of those stick-on-yer-pants hot pads. Am feeling a bit better now. Hey, at least am not in hospital on a drip after severe unstoppable vomiting like I sometimes get with period pains. Drs tell me that the only cure for cramps as bad as mine is pregnancy. Yet another reason for immediate updiffment!

Have you thought about taking some Nurofen scorps? Sounds like you could do with a bit of assistance there?

"It's my R2D2 and I'll drive myself mental if I want to!"

Thanks guys

Fucking postie - have got one of those cards saying they couldn't deliver a package cos I was out. Lying cunt(no, not you Trog); I have been laid on sofa bellowing in pain doing sweet FA all bloody day (so bored now). Thems my updiff-help supplements you're withholding, GIT

ooo scorps she's used your full name! That means she's Not Joking.

Congrats Bessie

Scorpette Don't be daft toots.

Ooh, yes, was so shocked by Scorpette's book of evil that I forgot to say - congratulations, Bessie123. Remember to come and update us with all the gory details of pregnancy.

Congratulations, Bessie123

[stern face] next you'll be telling me the internet never lies!

The Da Vinci Code was a book - you can't tell me that's a work of pure truth...

What book?

But a BOOK said it! A BOOK!

Scorpy that's absolute nonsense - womb is the most protected area.

scorps that way truly madness does lie. I'm sure if it's meant to be it will be and all the lifting in the world will not rid the little bugger from the cosy confines of your goddesslike womb.

Good for Bessie. We need to aim for one Differ per month at the very least, BESHes. Hop to it!

Just read something in a book about how exercise and stretching and heavy lifting (like exercises) can de-implant implantation. This has completely fucked my head up - after Ov, SHOULD I just keep going to the gym and doing weight training and ab work as usual or be a lazy heffer and do fuck all for 2 weeks (and risk refattenising)? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! This is tormenting me, as you lot know I was 99% sure I was pg last week, then woke up on Sunday and everything felt different (ie back to normal and undiffed). I'd done a good sesh at the gym on Saturday - what if it put a stop to the diffing? Someone punch some sense into me!

Wohoo! - Well done Beshie! It's been several palaces since we've had a babypass! Bolly-time!

Yey! A DIFFER!!!

Thanks. Drinks are definitely on me, although I might sniff them a bit while I sip water

Scorp - I wasn't trying for all that long BUT I have a dd who is not that old, and it was supposed to happen straight away (it didn't).

MUST go and get dd... x

CONGRATS Bessie!!! Nah, well done. You are our BESHpiration of the week. How long were you TTC for, may I ask (if it was the first month, please lie and say summat like 3 yrs)?

Besshie . i KNEW it had to work for one of us this month! This round's on you then.

A million stone and a stoner to boot. I wish I could try her 'special' method for getting rid of period pains, hur hur

Aaargh, I tried to post on this thread this morning but the stupid computer wasn't working. So I've just managed to get on here and now dd has woken up and is grizzling so I haven't had time to read all your posts (although I saw there is a new BESH, welcome, Diamond ). But I wanted to tell you all...

After taking 4 (yes, 4) poas tests and them all coming back negative (including the one that said NOT PREGNANT, which practically had a neon light around it and a massive arrow saying BARREN pointing at me) I was still feeling sick this morning, so thought one more test wouldn't hurt, to feed my neurosis. Anyway, test was positive. I'm updiffed. 1-2 weeks, it said

No, neither can I really, but then I don't have much imagination

Scorps, throw that empty bottle that's just rolled under the sofa at the telly, that'll probably jolt it onto another channel.

Precisely my earlier point scorps. Victoria was about a million stone and she produced LOADS of children! We are all sylph-like by comparison

Won't somebody help me? Got myself into a slumped position that is the least painful on this, The Day of Agony, and I dropped the TV remote whilst flicking round. It was on ITV2 and it's been stuck on that for the last 2 hours. It's back-to-back Jeremy Kyle; I can't handle the shouting, the 'which one of the 5 blokes I slept with is the father' teen slagginess and above all, the awful from-the-market giant gold earrings. If I hear him bellow 'YOU SHOULD'VE PUT SOMEFINK ON THE END OF IT' just one more time at lads that are a quarter human, a quarter pitbull, a quarter kebab and a quarter fake Burberry check baseball cap, I might have to remove my own eyes with the corner of a magazine and poke biros into my ears until I am deaf.

If I can bear to move, I have 'The Young Victoria' to watch. I've already seen it at the cinema, so can watch it safe in the knowledge that it ends before forcing the delicate BESH viewer to deal with the 'She had 47 children' factor.

Not even I, with my sick puppy brain, can think what 'wrapping ones cutlery' might be a euphemism for

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