TTC #4 - Join the madness... If you dare!!

Redtent, it's not over til the fat lady sings. Hang in there.

I feel ok....except dd was up 5 hours last night, I think the lack of boobie is screwing with her routine. And DS2 is sick...vomitting everywhere lol!

Dh is being a sweetie cleaning up and my friends have all sent me flowers and the biggest box of chocolates ever lol! Softens the blow lol.

Means ((hugs)) I'm not suprised you feel zapped. Hope today is a better day.

I'm 12dpo today and although I felt really hopeful about being pregnant and my temps are still high I've only had BFN's on tests. SO I reckon I'm out this month now. AF is due this evening sometime.

Onwards to next month!!

Rainbow, I'm ok, my boobs are a bit sore, she asked again this morning lol. Can't blame a girl for trying bless her lol. The HCG, I dunno they just said not to be suprised if the first result is a rise and then it will begin to drop. I'm ok apart from the mid day nausea and the exhaustion but that's from the methatrexate.

Have a mad house here today, trying to clean and steam everything. Might pop to the park for a break with the kids.

I'm feeling ok about things, I don't think I cried yesterday, things seem a bit more normal now. Still not sure how I feel about ttc again, not sure if I can invest emotions in it again, I feel zapped lol!

How's everyone else? Love to all.xxx

Means - I am glad that the pain has stopped, that is a good sign. How will they know if it has worked if the hcg rises in the first result??? I am ignorant on such matters. I have found that I am nauseaous/sick and tired with my miscarriages, it seems to me it doesn't matter whether my hcg levels are rising or falling it is the change in levels that seems to effect me. Your "no titties" comment made me smile, typical that husbands are so c/rude!!! How are you doing with the sudden stopping of b/f physically? I had to stop suddenly with my dd (due to being hospitalised with severe mastitus) and it was horrible, needed plenty of painkillers to ease the swelling and pain on the non-mastitus side from the engorgement. Hope you are not suffering from sore boobs on top of everything else.

babyblue - I am exhausted just reading what you have to do at the weekend..... phew, think I need to rest for a while!!!!

Babyblue, fab baby weight! He's doing so well! No thanksgiving here, just christmas for us (which I fdeel is beginning to loom lol).

I'm ok thanks, Bella asked for boobie last night and this morning, I gave her a big sloppy kiss instead and she went to wake her brothers and told them 'no titties', lol. I blame dh for teachingf her toi say titties, he's so rude!
I do feel sick (was sick at lunch) and sooo tired...ironic really. I'm dreading bloods tomorrow but it has to be done, just hoping it all works. I've been warned to expect a hcg rise in the first result. Oh and my right hand side pain has stopped, I'm hoping that's a good sign.

Love to all.xxxxx

Is my baby Lacey? the next one?

EDD 25th Dec

Means - i had to stop BF when i mc too, as a. it hurt so much and b. my hormones stopped my milk. Mimi was only 11 months

You have done so well feeding for 20 months, thats such a gift to her.

either of us

Hi girls, I'm doing ok...so upset about the breastfeeding, feel angry that I've had to stop before either of u are ready too.....but on the other hand I just hope I'm safe now. Ups and downs.

Right now the thought of ttc scares me, I can't for 3 months anyway because of the chemo drug. I might feel different in 3 months and I won't have the breastfeeding issue to worry about either. I will panic about more ectopics though.

How's everyone doing? When is the next baby due on this group?

Suze, I wrote you out a long reply and then my stupid laptop switched itself off

Anyway you seem very together and happy with your decision. I'm pleased for you although still sad for you too...

My 1st m/c baby would have been due in August and the second this week! It's always at the back of my mind but I don't dwell on it too much, it's more a case of 'what if' but I have this new bean to think about now and you will too.

Thanks for your well wishes, I too can't stop grinning

Means - so good that you have been able to finally drawn a line under it all. And you did well with feeding Isabella for 20 months, she will probrably miss it to start with as will you, but it is great that you had such a time with her. I hope the injection works for you and that this is all over quickly, it is strange how instinct is important in these situations. And of course you must stay here chatting, we need you.

Kat - I am grinning with excitement over your splodge's heartbeating away.

Kat congrats on your splodge, lovely news. .

What a day! I've had such a hard few weeks. Last night I was in bed and the pains on my right hand side were making me panic and I made the decision to have the injection to end tubal pregnancies.

We went to the ward tonight, I signed the consent forms and read the info leaflets. I hadn't read them until now and I knew reading them that this pg is ectopic. The one symptom that rang massive alarm bells to me was the irregular bleeding like prune juice. That is so unbeleivably accurate. The aching on my right hand side has been consistent since sunday, slowely getting worse. I just couldn't wait worrying when I would rupture. The registrar said he was releived that I'd changed my mind (changed my mind twice today lol).

I'm feeling better now that I can draw a line under this, I still have a long way to go with blood tests to see if the injection has worked. I hope so.

I'm truly devastated that I now have to stop breastfeeding Isabella but I've done 20 months and I'm so proud of that. I loved it while it lasted and so did she.

Thankyou to everyone here who's offered me so much support and kind thoughts.

I'm ok now, still smiling, I love my family and realise how lucky I am to have what I do have. I will always wonder what might have been in May 10 but I know it was never meant to be for us.

Sorry for the essay. Just bloods then 3 months off before we can even consider ttc again, nothing like an ectopic to put you off lol. I hope you girls won't mind me staying here and chatting.

Oh a splodge How far along is Splodge?

Hiya guys

Mean so sorry to hear you'rew still in limboland but pleased to hear there is still hope for you, it's not much fun when you don't know where you're at though xxx

Scorps - love the name

Well I have news, I had some spotting and cramping at the weekend so managed to get myself in for a scan. Went today and saw my beautiful splodge and a heartbeat! So relieved and feeling much more positive

Waves to everyone else

And Sweetkitty i know you're here! How are you?

Means - i too think you're doing the right thing. If they can't tell you for sure if its a viable pg or not, or a twin loss or not, then you are doing right to see what happens in nature, iyswim.

I had MW today, am 27+5 and am measuring 29 weeks. Maisie Baby is head down too, but i know that counts for nothing yet! I am happy, cos i was very worried about the stress on her but she seems to be growing and happy, and thats all i care about.

I have changed the last week or so; i can't wait to get her, because then the world will be right. iyswim.

Meansbeans , so sorry to hear you are still having a rough time. I think that you are doing the right thing (not that it matters what I think really). It is well documented that not all pregnancies follow the same pattern and neither do miscarriages. I think it is a bit premature for them to be suggesting inducing a miscarriage as they have seen there is a sac in the womb, and therefore the chance of there being a second one being an ectopic is not very high. If you don't have pain, then it is surely ok to continue for a while, and see what happens. I am not sure if I am entirely appropriate in suggesting a look atthis website which shows that sometimes very low and slow rising hcg, does produce a healthy baby. So don't be pushed into something that you are not happy with, especially if it is going to interrupt your feeding Isabella too and that would upset you as well. Thinking of you at this tough time.

Babyblue - sorry never used bio-oil!

Sweetkitty - any news from you????

Sorry I've taken so long to update, I didn't get home until 1.30pm and then I couldn't face the computer.

Went in for bloods at 9am. A vampire stabbed both of my arms and nothing came out! The plan was just to give me bloods so I begged for a scan, the sister wasn't keen. In the meanwhile I went to the antenatal clinic to try bloods again. Yet again I got stabbed twice and no blood. By this point I was sobbing and taken back up to the EPU.

I then poas which was still positive and the sister agreed to get me scanned. The sonographer informed me that the scan was pointless as she didn't expect to see a change in 4 days. I've had bleeding so to me it wasn't pointless, I wanted to see if there was a change. There wasn't a change I still have a thickened endometrium and a cystic sac.

I then had a chat with the sister and between her and Chris I was bullied into bloods in outpatients. I was stabbed 3 more times (hand as well this time) and then she finally tried my right arm again and after a bit of wiggling the needle about she got some blood. I have never been so traumatised. I left with big black mascara eyes and sunglasses.

The results have been processed as urgent and I just had a call to say they are now at 687. They have said it's not impossible that it's a viable pregnancy but they would have liked to have seen the level at 1300.

Had they decreased I'd have been left alone, had they been 300 ish still then I'd have had the ectopic shot....but now I don't know what to do. It probably is ectopic but what if...........what if it was twins and one level declined while another was on the rise?????????

I have spoken to the registrar and as long as I am not in any pain he is happy to see me on thursday morning for more bloods. If they don't rise by 2/3 then I'm in for the injection. I'm scared, I don't know what to think or what to do. I know the sister wants me in for the injection now. Why is it never straightforward! No doubt if I have that chemo drug injection I will have to stop breastfeeding Isabella and I won't have a baby bump either so I'll be pretty upset. Talk about a double whammy.

I think that's it.

with no tvs i meant

Hi Blondie, we are all nutters here (with no ts )

Babyblue - you lot are very sporty, you are always talking about your running on FB! Well done you and your dc! I am in awe , runs at 2 months postnatal indeed Though i am hoping to go back Thai Boxing after the baby, after about 8-10 weeks.

Means - Hope you get some answers.

I'm doing ok, haing some good days now, not all bad or clouded over by that. I have MW on Wednesday so will talk to her about baby fears.

Means - hope you had a good distracting weekend.

Blondie - welcome to the madness from me too. I am post-ov horrible wait time at the moment, but not expecting much this time. Did you concieve your other children fairly easily or did it take time?

babyblue - wow marco two months already, time flies by sometimes. Good to hear that the colic phase is over.

redtent - no poas yet, it is too early