To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

Oh my goodness. Just emerged from the childbirth thread. I'm RED RED RED!!

Episiotomy? Ventouse delivery? Can medical science offer women nothing more sophisticated than salad tongs and a hoover?! Eurgh! . I'm crossing my legs and wincing.

Too traumatised to think of baby names...

I know, I know! It's all getting out of hand.

Or something.

Wonder if any of us would really get round to naming anyone... (it looks iffy, on and off...)

Baby names? Bloody hell.

Oh, all right then. I really fancy a modification of a family name, like my nanna's or sister's, for a girl. And I love sturdy names for little boys. We have quite a 'sturdy' surname so that would influence our choice.

Oh. Dear . God. I hope DH never sees this or he will thik Ive lost my mind....

Argh! Nella is one, well our only one, girls name! I haven't said that to anyone I know either (and don't really want to.) I love it as it's quite quirky but not too quirky but can imagine lots would hate it (Nellie the elephant songs etc.)

Blimey!

Really suprised at that as it's not a very common (not a great word there I agree) name and also not especially in fashion.

No idea about boys names really. No strong ideas anyway.

I suppose sneakily I had always thought I'd prefer a girl to a boy, for some of the reasons confused mentions (though I'm not particularly girlie) - they seem more rewarding early on, speaking earlier and being more into reading, something which I'd be keen on sharing with them. And just a bit more considerate and into conversation, rather than running around... But my sister had a boy, against all expectation (I'm one of 3 girls, as is my mum and both grandmothers, and my aunt had two girls...), and he's already gorgeous. And suddenly I'm seeing lots of adorable boys around.

We have less strong feelings about boys' names, for some reason, so would probably manage to agree if we had one. We have no point of convergence at all on girls' names. I like Nell, or Tess; he likes things like Georgina (or Alexandra, shortened to Alex for a girl too - he has no imagination!). Anyone else??

Thanks, Suerock - glad you don't think I was totally stupid re. the appointment. I am being taught again - really strange experience (and it's barely started). Funny story about the cattery! If only...

Yes, boys names are harder than girls (least the unusual one's) in my opinion too. I would hate for someone to 'nick' our choices first too - unreasonable as that may really be.

Englebert or Griselda it will have to be then.

Aren't baby equivalents of catteries called Nursery's? Except you can't leave them there overnight. No, the overnight versions of baby catteries are called Grandma's House!

Dear me. And I've not even had a drink...!

LST and Confused - fingers crossed that neither of you has too long to wait for your appointments to come through. It must be quite weird to be going back to being taught after teaching at uni, LST! (Is it a masters by teaching or research?) But it sounds like you're doing the right thing by rescheduling your appointment - it's always difficult if you miss the very beginning of something, not least because you never catch anyone's name again.

DH and I have discussed names in an abstract one-day-maybe-if-it-happens-but-we're-just-joking-really sort of way, and can agree on a girl's name. But I'm fairly uninspired for boys - I think it's more difficult to get away with something unusual. The trouble is, the longer we leave having kids, the more likely it is that someone we know is going to nick the ones we like first!

I learned something new today, on overhearing a woman in town saying "He mewed and mewed, and of course we couldn't explain that he was only going to the cattery for a weekend," to which her companion replied "It's much easier with children, at least they understand when you explain." So there's the solution to how parents can have an adults weekend away - put the kids in a cattery

Actually, I think you'll find girls hold grudges as opposed to gridges.

Must make an effort and proofread...

Walk was bloody windy - good, but windy. Am now safely back at home with warm clothes on, the TV on and my laptop (obviously) with a very tired dog on my feet. I love weekends - shame there aren't more of them!

Yes, go on go on, lets discuss baby names! Even people who don't want children may have some inklings towards names they like or dislike.

Have to say, I do like Owen. It sounds quite cool (as better to think of these names as 'adult' names as they aren't little for very long.) Alex is okay too but nit sure if I'd like it enough to call someone it.

I am not sure on names really, but I do know that I much prefer little girls to boys. i find boys too boisterous really (all that haring around shouting 'pow,pow,pow') Saying that, little girls can be rather catty and sneaky whereas little boys may fall out but are then all friends again 5 mins later. (Girls can hold gridges like nobody's business.) I know you can't really ensure you have one or the other (unless you pay £'s to have the, ahem, sperm sorting) but I can't envisage myself with a boy. Maybe it's because I am kind of girlie myself.

What about you? Or is that far too big a question!

My goodness, I am getting carried away. Quite like it though, especially after the recent amber / red days. Must just remember to steer clear of the childbirth threads...

It's so weird. Not getting too excited though, for all the reasons I've mentioned. I think he is still thinking 'well, it would be ok - in 10 yrs time', even though he's over 40 and I'm getting there fast. He's a puzzle (the kindest way of putting it...)

Er, so-so over Alex. Do I dare discuss baby names?!? I'd go for Owen (I grew up in Wales!) or Joseph as second choice. Woah, getting too green for my own good here! Hope the walk was good - it's wild and blustery here...

How's everyone else's weekend going?

Ohmygoodness! Alex, eh?! I get a sneaking suspicion there is more going on at the back of his mind that he originally let on! Blimey!

So, er, will you call him Alex then...? Just out of interest!

Thank you! That is really nice to know. I have to say, MN and this thread in particular is a godsend. I do normally teach at a university, but this year I'm doing an MSc during a 'career break'. (I should be being more subtle about my identity too for lots of reasons but never mind!)

Hope your referral goes through quickly. Sounds unlikely that they'll tell you something you don't know, as you're so clued up and on top of it all, but I guess you never know. And they might just be nice and supportive - my fertility nurse is lovely and it does really help (if I ever get to see her again!).

So breaking news is that suddenly DH says this morning, 'So if we have a boy we're callling him Alex, right?' WHAAAAAAT?! This is the man who won't come to talk about IVF, won't cut down his drinking, and has been super grumpy about the mere idea of children all month. I DON'T GET IT!!! But gives me grounds for hope, anyway!

Enjoy your walk with the dogs - sounds idyllic! I'm off to get fetishistic over stationery in Staples prior to the course starting! Hope everyone else is well and you all have a lovely weekend.

Hey LST, one of the points of this thread is to talk about you. You, you and more you if you feel like it! It's often far easier to talk anonomously on here than it is in real life so feel free to brain dump as you wish (and, in case you were wondering, it ain't boring!) Goddit?!
Right, bossing over!

Hope that your next appt isn't too long to wait. I am waiting for the referral to the diabetic clinic (to be told the stuff I clearly know aleady due to the bloods results etc) although it's only been just over a week so no major rush there. I hope it isn't too long to the actual appointment though as I am terribly impatient. I think if I didn't know what I was doing etc it would be a different kettle of fish, but as I do I feel as if this is more to show willing than anything else. And, I suppose, maybe they will tell me something I don't know...

With your new degree course - are you taking the degree or teaching it? Sorry if you have already said before (it's a bit too long to read back on, this thread) or don't want to say as it'll blow your cover. (Talking of which, a little late in the day, I guess I ought to be more subtle as anyone who know's me will have an easy time guessing who I am if they looked at this thread - here's hoping they don't!)

Got to go, friend at the door and we're taking our dogs out

It's strange the way some people embrace the new life and some (usually the men) are after an escape whenever possible. (Maybe some of the women are too but never get the chance...) It would definitely be hard for us, but I think I'm ready for it. My favourite drinking these days is at home over dinner, rather than in the pub - though the latter is lovely once in a while. My DH had an insanely wild twenties and has calmed down quite a lot, but is still very attached (as I've discussed ad nauseam on here!) to going out, drinking etc. He loves dancing and would go clubbing much more given the chance; I am like confused in not caring if I ever go in a club again. Nice to hear from Suerock that people don't always feel trapped and resentful! I know I would a bit, but also know (or at least think) I'd find it all pretty exciting in general and be fairly besotted with any DC.

Yep, had to cancel the fertility appointment as it clashed with my first day on a new degree course - lots of crucial stuff, registration, getting into study groups, first teaching on three courses, introduction session to the technology we're using. I don't know if it was a stupid decision, but just thought well I can reschedule the appointment, whereas this stuff won't be repeated. Someone is supposed to be ringing me back to reschedule, but just hope it won't be weeks and weeks. Maybe this is a bad sign that I'm not making it my top priority. But just didn't want to miss anything too crucial at uni, and wanted some control over who I would work with etc.

Anyway, sorry about all this me stuff. Hope you're all ok.

Oh my good god...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/831647-If-it-came-to-it-would-you-rather-a-CS

Levi Sorry for not mentioning it too, seeing YTD's post made me realise - what's going on with the fertility clinic? And is there a Plan B?

Strangely, I've not really come across the whole 'I resent the fact that I can't do adult stuff because I have to put the kids first' thing. All my friends and family are utterly besotted with parenthood and anxious that everyone else should be indulging in it.

Right. Really. Do. Have. To. Run.

Morning all,

Can't comment much on the cat/dog/baby comparison as we have none of them! But I want chickens. Possibly more than I want a baby but that depends on my mood at the time. I expect we will end up with a moggy at some point but I'm leaving that up to DH as he's more of a cat person than me. Hmm. Maybe my view of cats (quite happy to have one/feed one/take one to the vet, but don't know enough and don't care enough to initiate getting one myself) is the same as his view of babies? Now there's a thought.

Brief post - have to dash.

Hi Levi, sorry to hear the fertility clinic is cancelled this month. Have you got an alternative appointment?

Ooops - I keep doing this, I know!

Due to knocking the 'insert' button I typed over some of the text. I meant to say (last line of 2nd paragraph) 'instead of with 15 people who also hadn't been to bed all sat in the pub round the corner.'

Morning!

YTD take me to your local at once!

LST You may have a point with the sub-conscious anger / jealously thing (those words make it sound worse than it is, but I can't think of better or milder one's) to those who are child free. Some old friends of mine were EXACTLY like that (especially the man) and used to go on and on about how nice it would be to go out without having to organise a babysitter, or to stay in bed past 7am on a weekend. He even used to volunteer to go to the shop all the time so he could pop in and down a pint on the way back (while looking longingly at us child free types enjoying ourselves.) And this couple were in their early 30's too so it's not like they'd just graduated and were missing out on all the early 20's shenanigins you are meant to be doing (well, I certainly was!) It's things like that that have made me officially not want to have my own for all my life up to about now (it's that bloody Mother Nature if you ask me!)

Just so I don't talk myself out of it completely I would like to add... I now don't feel like I am missing out if I am not in the pub on a Friday night (or a Saturday, or Sunday etc.) I also never want to go to a club again (can't be arsed - last time I went to one, an uber trendy one, it was a waste of money - would rather not bother). I love getting drunk and being silly, but I also now love waking up in the morning with NO hangover and spending the day out on a long walk with DH and DD (that's Dear Dog!) instead of with 15 people who also haven't the pub round the corner (which was always full of party casualties.)
In my 20's I think I think I took enough drugs and drank enough booze to make fill several decades worth of debauchery. Going out on Friday night and not getting home until Sunday night was perfectly normal. While this doesn't mean I am now going to morph into Earth Mother of the Year it does mean I feel ready to tone it down! And I mean tone it down in a big way - it doesn't really interest me anymore (and my hangovers are horrific!) and there are too many other things I'd rather do instead.

Sorry to interrupt the dog/cat thread - I can't really talk from experience about either, though my pangs (rather more limited than those occasioned by babies, but not entirely dissimilar!) tend to be confined to dogs.

Hi all

Glad the post has livened up again - it went very quiet after my last post and I had a slight paranoid thought that I'd killed the thread or that you'd all gone off to another one without me. (Yes, I do realize how crazy this sounds!)

I am slightly confused about what's going on - as I understand it, confused posted on another thread, the AIBU one, talking about the pizza place experience, and got a lot of (pretty unreasonable-sounding) flack? It's funny - I've had a bit of the hardline parent thing from other people, and I think part of it is people finding parenting very difficult (as it no doubt is - amidst the wonderful stuff) and somehow being sub-consciously angry with those who aren't parents for being free and not having to go through what they are going through. In a strange way this makes me more sympathetic to them, however unreasonable - it's part of the awful irrevocability/ no going backness of it all. Which is quite red-making, incidentally! But most of my friends are reasonably sane about their kids and most of the kids I know at least reasonably aware of others' needs (beyond a certain age, anyway) so I guess I am probably a bit (too?) complacent about this.

Don't know if I'm red or green. Am madly symptom spotting, though, without any basis in reality or anything really convincing - don't know why! And we've only managed to do the deed TWICE this month, for various reasons logistical and emotional (TTC sex became a bit of an issue...) so hardly likely. And have had to cancel fertility clinic on Monday (after all that about DH!) so getting nowhere fast... Hey ho, at least looking forward to leisurely read of the paper tomorrow morning!!

I totally broke my own vow and have just emerged from the AIBU threads (major debate about whether you should let 12 year old girls shave their legs!).

We had a border collie when I was a child. She was great - clever, loyal, occasionally a bit mental. DH and i have agreed if we get a dog a BC is teh only type we'd consider, but as we are both out at work full time it wouldn't really be fair.

Although we do have appropriate local facilities - the pub at the end of our road used to be a pet shop and has a dog friendly policy. They even have dog bowls behind the bar, so you can order a bowl of water for your dag along with your pint.

Quite.
A woman after my own heart.

Off to bed now as knackered. No doubt back on over the weekend,
Night!