To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

You sound like someone who may have reached a decision! I lovvvvve babies, but have always felt pretty good about leaving the new parents to it. Now Im not so sure. Anyway, its pretty exciting that you feel so green!

DH is on a mission of mercy to fetch strong painkillers. He cant arrive quick enough....

Very. As I said, I don't usually do the 'holding the baby' thing (I can't bear it when people bring their newborns into work and all the women hover round clucking) so it may also be that it's a new thing for me generally, but MY GOD. She was 6lb's of utter loveliness.

Bloody hell, what do I sound like!

Hope your DH will be on grape peeling duty this evening and tending to your every need.

Im ok, thanks, just in some discomfort rather than pain.

So bright green huh...interesting...very interesting. Nine day old baby girl sounds very hormonally provocative. Are you surprised at the intensity of green?

Ps Hope you're ok HP! Sorry I didn't say in the first message too (am typing at work sneakily so it's a bit of a rush and I don't keep MN on the screen on full view)

Hurrah! I thought everyone had vanished!

I am on a bright BRIGHT green at the moment which has knocked me for six. I met and then held a friends 9 day old daughter at the weekend - I normally don't due to the babies generally either being alsleep or fussed over by clucking family - but this one was passed to me on Sunday and I have been a gooey mess since.

I've even shocked myself!

How is everyone? Ive been a bit quiet as have had a minor 'procedure' in hospital (nothing to worry about, just inconvienient) so am taking it easy at home.

Havent had much chance to think about the baby issue for a little while, but its still very much on my mind.

Hmmm, a BFP now would be a nightmare! Although that's often the way it happens isn't it (ie when it's the most inconvenient!) We have a house in chaos at the moment with dust everwhere, floorboards up, furniture piled on top of each other etc etc - it's driving me bananas!

Can't write much at the moment as at work but will no doubt be on again later or over the weekend

My only experience of Hebden Bridge was walking through it once, about ten years ago. But it seemed very nice then! Happy hunting to both confused and HP! You realise, of course, that finding the perfect place will be rudely interrupted by discovering a BFP of course?

Am intrigued by your book, confused - have you already had a book published, or do you have an agent? I have a couple of ideas brewing (considerably further behind than your 50K words though!) but was rather put off by the fact that most publishers don't seem to be interested in 'unsolicited manuscripts'. Guess I should just put pen to paper (or words into Word) and not worry about finding someone to publish it until I've got a better idea whether I'll ever get around to finishing!

Whoopee! Good luck with it all when you do. And you are SO right not looking now as you will certainly find the perfect house, in no chain etc.

Yes, there is a flaw in your book signing, unless you want me to say 'to Honeypetal from Confused' and then send it to a PO Box.

Am excited about it now - the book that is. With the combination of new job, writers block and mumsnet it's not been going as well as it could, but feel like I am on a roll now. Hurrah!

Well, once you are a famous and wealthy author you can send me a signed copy of your book - hang on, that wouldnt be very anonymous, would it? Damn.

Yes, a new house, one of our very own. Its been a long time coming, as we missed the boat by a couple of years and ended up sitting back and watching in horror as house prices went from the sublime to the ridiculous to the fantastical. But we have got a bit of a deposit together and are sick of renting, so next year we are going to go for it. See, I can make a decision. Well, its taken 8 years, actually. But am nervous/excited, so hurrah! We havent been looking properly yet as we didnt want to find somewhere that was perfect and not have the money to go for it. But I guess after Christmas, we can!

I have no idea how long, seems to change all the time and I'd rather not think about the actual sending off as it seems to far away at the moment! It's a very daunting prosopect but when I read some of the rubbish that gets into print I think it;s silly not to have a go. Also, I have had various friends (who work in magazines / editorial depts so know what they're on about) going on about how I needed to do something with the stuff I had so it's not just all in my head and I am actually typing rubbish. Least, I hope not...

New house, eh - fab! This house we're selling was our first and I loved it (still do!) Have you started looking or is that too far away yet?

That sounds great - how long do you think it will be before it will be ready to be sent off? How exciting!

We will be staying local, but hopefully buying our first house in the New Year or early spring. We have been saving like crazy for a couple of years and fingers crossed it will happen next year. Eek!

I am working from home today, meaning to crack on with the book (currently title free, despite the 50,000ish words written so far.) It's fictional but based on lots of actual events.

Yes, MN when doing a thesis would be a Very Bad Thing. It's bad enough as it is!

Guess I can't ask where you are now and / or where you might be moving to can I. How about why you might be moving instead...?

Only because we are maybe going to move in the next six months, perhaps after that it wil be the other way around.

Im so glad I didnt know of the existance of MN when I was writing up my thesis! I have the day off work today, you too?

Whats your book about? Is it a novel or non-fiction?

Fair enough!

Jesus, I am on here AGAIN. And this book is going backwards instead of forwards. Fed up!

On the whole, I think 85% , 15%

A bit of both...?!

Hi all,
Quick post - just to let you know, as expected, no harm done from the missed conference pill, as of 9am this morning!

or am I

Hurrah - lets ALL move to Hebden Bridge! I am already working on various friends (some in London who are unlikely to stay there forever, and others in places like Leeds, which they hate but need to be near for work reasons.)

I am trying to crack on with book stuff so need to keep this brief - it's amazing how easy it is to spend HOURS on this site! And none of us are even bloody parents either!

Anyway, tara for now...

I am dying to write lots in response to everyone's posts, especially yours, confused what a nightmare......... - but very exciting and sounds eminently sensible on the move front - GOOD FOR YOU - sounds like you're making something very positive and life-changing in a very good way out of a horrible mess. (And went to Hebden Bridge a few months ago as my sister lives not too far away and loved it - what a cool place ). Good luck with it all!

But am utterly and completely shattered after the weekend and a very long day - driving and 7 hrs of lectures without a break - and think I will wait until I'm more coherent before posting properly .

(Have recovered a small bit of greenness, despite spending most of Saturday night kept awake by crying baby at my SIL's... But wobbling all over the place back and forth - it probably is the very-slightly-more-real reality of recent things, though I'm hardly on the verge of anything yet!)

Will write properly soon. Hi to all xx

Oh yes, and we moved 4 years ago so have been living with the constant worry about money ever since then.

Right, I shall rant no more on the matter!

Hurrah for the Grim North, eh! And great to hear that you know Hebden and also what it's like. My stepdad lived near Skipton once, a little village called Hebden (just Hebden, not Hebden Bridge) which as a couple of miles from Grassington. The dales are beautiful but not sure how I'd hope with all the tourists (and maybe it would be a bit Daily Mail...?)

Yes, we both have flexible jobs which is great, no being tied to a certain area. In fact, DH works from the small bedroom and has clients all over the place so it doesn't really matter where we are.

I think I'll, briefly, say what happened with my dad. When we said we were wanting to move from Bristol from London he insisted, yes insisted he wanted to give us £40k towards it. At the time he was driving around in a £150k Maserati etc etc so we had no reason to think this wouldn't happen.

DH had a stress problem which was making work difficult - my dad, John, was well aware of this - and we said that we wanted to use the majority of the £40k as a buffer while DH got himself together, and also for doing up the house. We spent our savings buying our house (the deposit and various fee's were about £25kish) and then, with John's encouragement found a builder to knock walls through, we bought furniture (he even came shopping with us), had various things replaced (wiring, some of the sash windows) and John kept saying he had the cash, but also kept giving excuses. This left us with no choice but to put things on a card, and as we know debt breeds debt - but he kept saying not to worry, he could wipe out the debt and also give us a bit more as he was doing really well etc etc.

This was in October. By March we were really struggling as had a limited income and the mortgage kept going up. We needed to buy things like computers, have cards and leaflets printed etc for DH to get his freelance work going so had to put that too on cards. There was obviously no choice there. Still, John said he couldn't get the actual cash over - various bullshit excuses - but he would, definitely, 'don't worry' blah blah blah. Then, at the end of March he called me and said his business partner had stolen his cash. (At the time I felt awful for him, but now, adding everything up, I think he was lying and never really had the cash in the first place.)
The companies who had said they would certainly use the skills of DH then only got in touch sporadically, and we were relying on just my income a lot of the time. The mortage had gone up massively and we had no buffer, as planned (and John knew all about our plans, Phil's stress etc) so had to pay for the mortage on a card a couple of times and also had all the building work, furniture etc on cards too (we had moved to a 3 bed house from a tiny flat so needed a lot of stuff, and would have waited if we'd known what was going to happen but John was even helping is track down fucking builders! )

So, in a rather large nutshell - this is why we are broke and also why we are moving to somewhere smaller and cheaper in Hebden Bridge.

I suppose on these things one is meant to keep your identity a secret but, well, fuckit.

So now, we have a plan, we can draw a line under everything, and it's onwards and upwards!

Oooh Confused, that?s great. I?m from the grim North myself, (near Skipton) and am currently exiled in the Midlands. Hebden Bridge is fab ? all the friendliness and cheapness of the North plus cappuccinos and more than one type of tea!

Hopefully you can get moved and on your way asap. You certainly sound to be getting on with it! You know, you might not need to wait too long before TTC. My best friend found out she was pregnant on the day they moved house. Her DH has been pretty highly motivated on the DIY front since then ? there?s nothing like an immovable deadline to get you cracking on with things!

I take it you and DH have jobs that you can move quite easily? I?m relatively flexible (owing to a recent change of direction job-wise I now have two possible career routes, so have a fairly good chance of finding gainful employment in any location) but DH is an automotive engineer, so he has to be near a car plant ? that gives us not much choice of location! We are juggling various pots of debt (nothing as hideous as yours confused and we created ours ourselves, rather than having it foisted on us by an errant parent ) and trying to do up a wreak of a house with money we don?t have. I have a two year plan for financial stability which comes to an end next March. Part of me still things now is probably not a good time to be TTC, but I just figure that we will adapt and manage whatever happens. And as nothing seems to be happening, it?s probably the right thing to do.

We hope to have gone in 6 months but, really, if we can get the house ready and it sells quickly then we go even earlier. I think about six months but it maybe more and it maybe less; guess we don't know till we try. Then, due to the move etc we'll have both money in the bank and time to do the new house up (without worrying about finding the cash for next months bills - we can cover what we need there easily) so we can, gulp, really do the baby thing! I was worried about being squashed up in a house at the moment but, looking at the house we like the look of now, it's not that much diffference to the one we're in now which is plenty big enough.

Have been quite amber / red this week but now am feeling rather green!

Suerock - what do you do (as you're not a dentist?)

confused - gosh, how exciting! Have you got a timescale in mind or will it depend on when you can find a job/sell your house/find another house/get pregnant? I'm quite jealous - would love to be able to move somewhere I want to live, rather than having jobs dictate where we end up! (Both DH and I do jobs which are not evenly distributed over the country unfortunately - I knew I should have gone into dentistry like school told me to....)