To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

Hey, I know just what you mean re lazy days where you just please yourself. I LOVE those and we have had too few recently! Plus, I talk to people with children who get ridiculously excited about the prospect of a 'weekend off' and think I must surely be bonkers to want to follow in their footsteps? Do I really want 7.30am to be considered a LIE IN?! However, and I blame that evil mother nature, I feel as if something might be 'missing' if I don't too... (Not that I am doing anything about it.)

So, YTD, docs in January? As it's been a while it's a good idea. I think I would in case it's anything complicated that would take a while to sort out. Hope it's not though, obviously, and maybe it's just one of those things (ie you ovulate at funny times or something.)

Hello ladies,

Your kitchen sounds fab confused I am very ous. However, we get to the end of our loan payments in February, so can consider funding for our new kitchen then.

Baby wise I am green but not glaringly so. Am probably going to go to the docs in the New Year to get myself checked for obvious barriers to conception, but for now I'm looking on the bright side of childlessness. We had a lovely lazy day today - long lie in, walk down the river, afternoon in the pub. But I'm of the opinion that I need to enjoy this freedom whilst I've got it - I still think I want to swap it for years of exhausted motherhood...

Hurrah! I am not talking to myself!
I am still enjoying every second of having our beautiful house. This weekend my mum and grandma came to stay and we spent went and windy evenings sat in by the roaring fire, with two sleepy dogs drinking red wine - bliss! I am making the most of it all as soon we will move but will also have financial freedom and money in the bank so I must look on the bright side.

No, no TTC news. In fact, I am pretty amber / bordering on red at the moment. Not passionately so, but more a general lack of interest. I think I have too many other things going on to give it much thought (this new job has started to become quite stressful due to this woman I work with and has reminded me just why I went freelance in the first place; life is too short of work pressure and office politics in my opinion!)

I don't really have much other news, if you can even classify what I just wrote as news. A look at my bank account has shown that Christmas shopping will have to be kept to a minimum and, to be honest, I am not too fussed really. We have two weeks off (almost) over Christmas and I can't bloody wait! With everything that's gone on (house, work etc) me and DH are both knackered and it will be wonderful to have some extended time off and be able to unwind. Just the kind of unwinding you CAN'T do when you have DC's in fact... Hmm, now there's a thought!

Hi All,

Its been ages - hope everyone is ok and having a fun build-up to Christmas.

Ive been trying to clear my head a bit, as you could probably tell from my last few posts I was (am! ) getting a bit stressed out about the whole situation. So, Ive been working very hard rounding off experiments before the end-of-year break, doing my Christmas shopping, planning a family party and trying to think about it all a bit less.

And I do feel a little bit better. Slightly less likely to have my ovaries explode and my lady-tubes wrap around my head (too much?).

So, has anyone got any news? Great news on the kitchen, Confused, you sound very relieved! Any of our dithering-but-trying-anyway ladies been doing any testing?

YTD - I did read that thread. Eek. But I guess the OP did ask for it. The mind-numbing exhaustion sounds like a big pile of crap fun. Its a bit worrying, as I think people like us (the ditherers) sometimes think, 'look, can it really be as mentally and physically shocking as I have built it up to be in my head?' and then you read something like that and, apparently, yes, it is!! But they all mostly said its worth it. And I totally understand your point about not putting it off too much given that we all arent exactly in the first flush of youth. Again, damn you Mother Nature.

Well. Im red right now and I have just put my repeat prescription in for 6 more pill-full months. We'll see what happens.

I have a new kitchen and I don't want to leave the house for, ooh, at least a week!
Came back last night after a good but exhausting weekend in London with the dog. DH had been sanding his guts out all weekend and the floor looks wonderful. I have spent today putting everything back and giving it all a massive clean and am now sat in the kitchen with a glass of wine and a roaring fire. It's bliss! Honestly, I can't enthuse about it enough!

YTD I hope you have a similar scenario on the cards very soon for your kitchen.

Afternoon ladies,

Just flitting by as am taking a swift break from stripping wallpaper in the dining room. The old lady we bought the house off was a heavy smoker and so was her (late) husband, so when I apply the steam stripper, loads of nicotine comes ozing out. Nice.

I've been reading this thread which has made me alternately terrified and envious and, at times, had me weeping at the accounts of the sheer exhausted wonder that most new mums seem to feel. I have no idea how, or indeed if, I'll cope with being a mum, but at the moment I just really want to have the chance to try...

Anyway, best not get too carried away, chances are this month will go the way of the previous 12 . Despite the horror stories I'm pretty green and am sort of hoping that the consistant pains I've been feeling in my abdomen for the past couple of days are signs of implantation activity. However, I don't really expect a BFP and my general indecision is such that I don't think I'll be too disappointed if not (we still have an awful lot of decorating to do before this house is ready to recieve a baby!)

Hope you are now enjoying your new kitchen Confused.

Glad to hear the kitchen is not far off being done, confused. I had to laugh, because I think my DH is probably the exact opposite to yours - when we have to sell up and move on I suspect I'll struggle to get him to even clear up some of the clutter in the house. His view is that potential buyers are looking at the house and not how clean and tidy it is, which is true I guess! But I don't suppose we will be going anywhere soon, unless job-loss or twins intervene.

I've stuck my head in the sand and ignored the issue of cash vs baby - though I sometimes think 'university fees' and try and save as bit rather than splurging on myself. I'm telling myself that people on lower incomes cope, and a decade of being a student taught me how to manage constantly having no money! But I'll probably have a panic about this if I ever do get preggers. The idea doesn't seem very appealing right now though, which is a shame since it's coming up to a suitable time for some action

Hello all,
Right - lots to reply to. Firstly, the kitchen is not in yet. (This is week 5 now.) However, the end is in sight as the electrics are sorted and both the dishwasher and the washing machine are plumbed in. Tonight, we are going to (hopefully) be putting stuff away and will get our kitchen back properly, at least that's the idea.

On Sunday night me and DH went for a pint to escape the mess, and he said that he thinks the house will be fine with just a few minor tweaks. Thank god! Finally! The floor does need doing, but that's really it. It won't put on any more value making sure it's 'perfect' and may even take away from it's charm, or be a bit too finished for people's tastes. I was so relieved when DH said this as he has been driving me mad (as you all know...) However, just as I thought he was starting to see sense he added 'but I might do another coat of white in the kitchen.' I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would NOT. Most assertive I was too!

HP - not sure what to say that hasn't been said umpteen times already. I think so many people must be in this situation but manage okay but I can understand your hesitation. Personally, I wouldn't want to just 'manage' if I could have the choice but perhaps the good bits outweigh the bad...? Perhaps look at things in stages, and try and bear in mind any possible breeding when looking for houses in January. Once the house situation is sorted, then look at the doing it up etc stuff, and then perhaps TTCing. Or not TTCing. God, I don't know! It's just a shame that cash is such an issue (for all of us, it seems.)

YTD I sometimes want to get cracking TTC right now, and other times want to hang on. Like you say, you don't know how long it will take. The nurses I have seen seem to think it could be a month or two, while on here, almost half of us 'regulars' have been at it for a while. It would make things so much easier if I did have an idea, as we could then work around it. If I was, say, 30 rather than 35 I would be more inclined to wait but I think it may be better to try now so any potential issues can be addressed while age isn't so much of a problem than wait a couple of years and then find out. (A friend of mine started trying at 35 and finally had a daughter at 44 due to egg donation and after lots of stress, IVF and the cost of around £25,000.)

And that's the reason I'm being pushy - don't want you to leave it too late, cos it might take ages...

Evening ladies,

Been thinking about the "maybe some circumstances mean it is just not possible" conundrum. I'm taking a bit of an ostrich approach to our financial position (we still have about £8k of debt left to pay off and a house in need of substantial amounts of doing up) and have decided to obay the demands of biology. Having said that - maybe my ovaries are linked to my bank account and that's why we seem to be having no luck getting a BFP?

I think you are right, there are some times when its just not practical. I wouldn't have wanted to conceive a couple of year sago, when we were planning a move and a wedding simultaneously. Although I'd been starting to think about the posibility of kids for some time before then. Once we were in our (large but pretty scruffy) house, I started to feel like it was a possiblity. That's partly why DH and I decided that we'd stop preventing pregnancy last year - we felt we were in a position to make the best of it if I did get pregnant. Cos we had a home, with plenty of space and our lives were pretty settled.

Actually, we'll be in probably the best position in about 6 months time, when debts will be down to easily managed levels and hopefully more decorating will have taken place. But I have tended to factor in the 9 month gestation period in my plans - I'll be working for 8 months of the 9 month pregnancy, so income reduction is still a while off.

I think what I'm trying to say in a really long winded way is that you are right to be practical and defer TTC until after the house purchase. But also bear in mind that conception doesn't often happen immediately and your financial position doesn't actually change until quite a long time after conception, so don't delay longer than you must.

So, with that in mind Confused tell you DH to stop fretting about the stuff that buyers won't see / care about and get that house on the market as soon into the new year as possible. You can't maximise profit whilst he's lavishing unnecessary attention on pointless detail, all of which means the house can't actually be marketed. Cos the sooner its on the market, the sooner it will sell then you can be on your way to hebden Bridge and TTC!

And HP, maybe you need to set a timetable for when you could start TTC post house buying? You know your situation best, but if the sums don't add up and you do what a child (and there is a lot of evidence on this thread to suggest you might ) then maybe you need to consider what neccessary adjustments (less desirable house? better paid job?) you'd need to make?

Sorry, I'm being a bit pushy about wanting you guys to start TTC. I've been consistantly green for the past week and am feeling a bit about the fact that we don't seem to have what it takes to make a baby. I'm going to give it another cycle after this one then go to the docs.

Yep. Happy hormones gone, on-edge hormones here. Great.

Hope the kitchen went in ok - enjoy it! Today was the first day of my pre-Christmas health kick. Didnt get to the gym due to busy day at work but didnt eat any crap either. Surely I have lost 3 pounds?

Ive been doing some more sums. Just dont see how we could afford to have a baby, especially if we want to buy a house. We are just trying to fit too much into too short a time, driven by the economy (!) and my biology. The only thing I can think of doing is trying to get a higher paid job, somehow.

I know everyone keeps telling us 'there is never a perfect time' and 'you will never be able to plan the financial aspect', but also maybe some circumstances mean it is just not possible.

The PMB is an excellent idea. I may suggest it.

Rest of weekend was indeed better. I spent most of it outside with the dog keeping out the way (DH now doing the window's which means taking them off - the house is the same temp inside as it is out.)

Feel like a big blob though, mainly due to too much wine consumption, the excuse being that it takes the edge off the state of the house. We are also going to go for a drink later too - again, to escape the mess and freezing temps - and pick up a takeaway as can't really cook at the moment. Kitchen goes in tomorrow so think a MAJOR overhall of eating and drinking habits will be neccessary then and I shall also have no excuses not to cook properly.

There should be a button you can press in Ebay, labelled PMB - PreMenstrual Bidding. Once pressed, you can withdraw the bid, namely as soon as hormone levels return to 'normal' quantities.

How was the rest of your weekend - any better?

Christmas shopping was moderately successful. We have about 20 people to buy for, mostly adults who should know better. We have a small number of little ones to buy for, which is fun, but the whole thing works out to be quite expensive, as you say. Im really looking forward to Christmas this year though, mainly because 2009 has been a pretty rubbish year, so I am going to celebrate the back of it!

I dont know whats wrong with me, I too should be having some PMT, its my pill-free-week, but I feel great. I feel good and positive, about the house, saving, work, even the scary TTC decision. I feel a bit drunk on hormones. Maybe the antibiotics have messed with my fake cycle this month? Cant wait until tomorrow when I crash and start ripping people's heads off.

GREEN. GREEN. GREEN.!!!!!

Thanks for the moral support! I feel a bit better today and think that is was mainly PMT which I don't usually get but did this time. I think the house is fine too but DH is now on about doing the windows - I pulled a face and he said he wanted to get the most profit he can so we can wipe out the debts etc. All good points, but I still think he's getting carried away. We decided we wanted the house before we'd only seen the upstairs and think that a lot of people are similiar. You'll realise it's a very instinctive thing when you start looking for your house come January. Anyway, nothing I can do really, it's not that I haven't tried.

Am off to London next weekend - Friday night to Monday night. Looking forward to it - will be great to see my friends etc as well as escape from the tip. Think my mess threshold is quite low and DH's is quite high.

Good luck with the shopping - have you many to buy for? I managed to buy quite a few things months ago so only have a few little things to get now. DH has loads of nephews and nieces (the nephews esp are both ungrateful and greedy - and at 17 and 19 there's no excuse if you ask me) which tends to cost us a fortune. Call me a tight arse but I am loathe to spend £20 each on 5 neices / nephews now, it's not like they're little and get giddy about Christmas like someone who's under 12. They are now surely old enough to realise what things cost and therefore not ask for cash etc (as can often get CD's, for example, on-line far cheaper.) Saying all this, I am being most hypocritical as last night, fuelled by red wine and grumpiness, I ended up bidding on various things on Ebay which, really, I shouldn't have done (couldn't resist it, all brand new with labels etc etc.) Ooops! None of them were Christmas presents either Now hoping I'll be outbid as we had to take the dog to the vets this morning which cost £50. Silly me.

Excuse typing, am on DHs iPod Touch. While he is not looking, obviously.

Poor Confused, that sounds like a pile of crap. I hope you are feeling better this morning. It is horrible having the house turned upside down, especially if you are doing the work to sell it. I think you should do the work to the minimum you need to sell and get a good price -after all, most people want to redocorate to their taste (or no taste!) when they buy a house anyway. Good luck - aren't you in London this weekend? Have fun and forget about tiles and varnishing.

(also, if you do have a touch of PMT, he should be grateful that he doesn't have a drill waved in front of him in a pseudo-threatening manner!!)

I'm off dreaded Christmas shopping, run ladies, save yourselves!

Argh! Have to brian dump here. So, you have been warned!

Not sure if it's PMT or just the stress of living in a fucking shithole house that's having work done but EVERYTHING, inc DH, is doing my head in!

I got really pissed off with him earlier as he was on about changing a tile in the bathroom as it has a crack in it - THE TILE IS UNDER THE BATH. Changing the tile will mean limited bathroom use for 24 hours which isn't too horrendous but for the fact that the whole house has been in a massive state of disarray for over four weeks now. There is dust everywhere, boxes, tools etc and DH seems to think that the place needs to look like a showhome before we put it on the market. He said that the tile that's broken in the bathroom will show up on the survey, SO?! Noone ever pulled out of buying a house over a broken and hidden tile did they? The house up the road sold in THREE DAYS and was a mess. Despite this, DH, who works slowly at the best of times, thinks we need to do things such as paint the outside, repaint the bathroom (painted 3 years ago, it does not need doing again), 'fix the window's' - whatever that means, I didn't even know there was anything wrong with the bloody window's - and, and this is especially ridiculous, put a small bed in the study room so potential viewers can see it can be used as a bedroom as well. I then convinced him to just buy some foam and he then started fussing about whether a potential buyer sat on it or not. Why on earth would they be sitting on it?!
This house doesn't need this much work and the mess and everything - you get the idea - is just too much. It doesn't seem to bother DH much but I just want to be able to relax and feel comfortable. I am cleaning constantly to try and make it feel a bit better but there is only so much you can do with all the tools everwhere and all the kitchen cupboard piled in the middle of the room. And now he is on about starting in our bedroom too while he's waiting for the stuff in the kitchen to dry - NNNNOOOOOO!

Plus, he is just driving me mad anyway. It may well be PMT as I am getting fucked off with him talking at me while I am trying to MN, eating crisps, scrolling through every channel announcing nothing's on and then watching tv all night regardless while commenting on the crapness of what he is watching etc etc. Now he's got the hump as he said he wants to watch a film and I said, not grumpily but not interested 'oh' and carried on typing. Apparently there is 'no need to be like rhat'. Maybe not but do feel as if I need to escape.

Now hiding in (freshly cleaned - again) bedroom with red wine.

Brain dump over.

Thanks.

Sibella1 - every so often someone like you comes along and makes us all go super green! I realise there never is a right time due to money / jobs etc but it still does seem hard to take that plunge! I can in my head (all the time in fact, and then I swing right back round to red again) but there are still things (house and cash at the moment for us) that make me think that it would be better to hang on. However, like you say, it may take a while and this too is something I keep thinking about - there is no reason it won't take us up to a year to concieve and so, really, we're better off getting cracking now. Me and DH have suggested we start ttc in the New Year but then this may have been put back due to moving - I think the pressure and frustration of houses falling through and all the other crap that goes with house buying would be too much if we had a deadline that could not be moved. However, the house will be ready in a month or so and the house up the road from us which is just like ours sold AFTER THREE DAYS - and it was a mess! Well, not a mess but it had no central heating and had been decorated some time ago by old people so lots of swirly carpets, brown woodchip etc. And the bathroom was horrendous. It was very encouraging to see how quickly it sold, I have to say (and our house, as well as being all done up, is in a nicer location on the street as we have a lovely view whereas this house just looked onto the other side of the terrace.)

Shit - I think I am talking myself into things aren't I? Off for a walk in a bit with the4 friend with the baby I met the other week - the one that made me all weird. I may come back and jump on DH immediately!

To all of you above - GO FOR IT!!

You won't be sorry. And the sooner you start trying the better because it can take some time and doesn't always happen.

You will never have enough money. It will never be the right time. But you will cope and in a few years time you can't imagine not having them. O yes because once you have one you of course think the poor soul can't grow up alone without a sibling...

And a glass of wine or two while trying to conceive is fine - makes it better I think!! Just remember to take your folic acids tabs every day. Good luck!!

Green hmmmmmm. Are you doing anything about it or are you hanging on until after the move?

I was thinking today about why its so difficult to decide either way. Then I thought about buying a house. I know there are financial risks, we are well skint saving up for a deposit and its a massive committment and may well backfire if we get stuck in a neg-equity situation, but still, I really want to buy a house. Maybe thats what happens when you want a baby. The negative stuff matters less, on the whole, and you really see the positives? I just havent got to that point with the baby yet. If I ever will.

(Apologies for anyone offended by me comparing having a baby to buying a house. )

I would LOVE to be the type of person who runs. I look like I should be a runner and it appeals to me. Im just really, really crap at it. I get a stitch instantly, I feel sick, I cant breathe properly and I get bored. Plus I dont like the cold, and its a bit rough where I live, I might get robbed by street gangs hanging aound the allotments. Shameful laughter at you falling off a treadmill

Also, laughing at your DHs reaction to the cervix shots. Maybe he wouldnt be so blah-say if he was looking at photos taken by someone opening his privates with a metal device and crawling up with a digital SLR and a headlamp! Im so tempted to show my DH....

To be honest, I have never really thought about what a cervix would look like. In fact, if you'd have asked me 24ish hours ago (well, before I looked at that site) I wouldn't have been able to come up with very much at all. It was the, urgh, 'juices' that made me feel like gipping really. Interestingly (or maybe not interestingly) I sent the link to DH who said it was really interesting (in a non fruity way) and couldn't understand my reaction, especially as I've got one.

I suppose our DH's do have a point in a way about not being the one making the Big Decision as it isn't their body. I can't make my mind up if the whole childbirth thing is as horrific as I think it could be or, er, worse. Guess none of us will unless we get there - and it would be a bit late then to change our minds!

As for the spare situation we all have going on, don't go to the gym. Gym's are evil. Boring, sweaty and evil. I trained in one ONCE when training for the triathlon (the idea being I could easily go from the pool, to the exercise bike to the treadmill and not have to lug Mars Bars etc with me too to stop passing out) and HATED it. I find it really weird that people pay £'s each month to run on a treadmill, for example, when they could don an iPod or similar and take to the great outdoors. And, as I found out several times to my shame, treadmills are very easy to fall off if you tend to run at different paces.

Am green today. No idea why, but I am really green!

One of DHs 'reasons' for not being involved in the decision to have children is that he says that he has no right to ask me to put my body through all that. So Im not sure what views he would have on a birth situation. Its good you are talking about it, Confused, even if you dont quite agree yet! Its true, birth comes with many risks, and no-one wants to return to the dark days of 30% maternal deaths, but I dont think the 1950s 'lie on your back and shut up while we inject you' is a good idea either.

Perfect house/money/amazing twanging figure?? Sign me up! I totally agree about the loop, I just go round and round in circles thinking about all this stuff all the time. Too much to try and get sorted in too short a time.

Was anyone else surprised at those cervix pictures, like they werent quite what you were expecting it to look like? Im a biologist, for goodness sake, and Ive never seen an internal photo of the snooker ball/hollow sausage set up. And I didnt realise the juices would be so obviously 'present'. I could have lived without the demonstration of twangy EWCM though.

Also, in the spirit of TMI, due to all the extra-strength antibiotics Ive been on, we have had to take some, er, extra precautions (once I started feeling like a bit of action, as opposed to just holding my head in my hands and crying from the pain). So that was a taste of what it would be like if I did come off the pill...sometime...in the future...

I have to lose half a stone, or buy all new clothes. I could get off my arse and go to the gym. Sigh.

Morning all!
I spoke to DH last night about my home birth ideas (and that's all they are, ideas) and he seemed most disapproving. He said that women used to die in childbirth before all the time, and didn't seem to buy my argument that women are rushed along (hence the forceps, epiostomy etc) nowadays which is why they often have medical procedures that they don't really need. I suppose we (we as in all of us on this thread, as well as me and DH) are getting ahead of ourselves with this, but I do think it's interesting if nothing else. Maybe hypothetically we'll all want serene water births but in reality we'll be screaming for drugs 20 minutes into labour! DH also said that he wouldn't 'want to put me through it' but he's as bad as me with the red / amber / green business.

God knows! I am getting rather tired of this loop though. All we need is a perfect house, money in the bank (make that lots of money) a body to die for that would also twang into shape after (and a pregancy that looks like a Formes advert) and life would be so much simpler.

Re loosing weight - I can't be arsed either, but I also hate feeling like such a blob. As it also takes SO bloody long to shift any weight this is not an incentive either. I do plenty of exercise, especially compared to general population, but clearly not quite enough. Bugger.

Got to go, DH rebooting the computer which may affect the wifi

Yuck yuck yuck!

Just back from My Beautiful Cervix. I managed to get to day 20 before wanting to puke. I know I ought to want to know this stuff, but it was a bit too much information. I am trying to imagine what sort of reaction I'd get from DH if i gave him a camera and a miners lamp and asked him to do similar!!

Confused you have my heart felt sympathies re DIY induced house chaos. We've been living in relative squalor for the best part of a year cos our bathroom has turned into such a long running saga. I just clean around the edges of the mess now and tell myself I'll clean it properly once its finished!

I think I'd probably race to the front of the queue to be Jabba's body double. My mate who is 4 1/2 months pregant looks less pregnent than I do. I'm sure one of the motivating factors behind my desire to be pregnant is the fact that I already look pregnant and I'm looking for an excuse! I need to lose about a stone to get to a healthy BMI, but have no motivation to do anything about it.

A friend of ours opted for a home birth, but eneded up having to go into hospital anyway cos they were worried that the baby might be in distress and needed to hook her up to a monitor. She had a c-section in the end, which was a bit disappointing cos she planned a home water birth! However, if there are problems, the system is equipped to cope with it, so you can plan a home birth and get moved if the situation demands it.

I think I'd probably consider a midwife led unit. Our local unit is on site at our general hosptial, so transfer to the hospital delivery suite should be pretty easy if required. I'd want to avoid hospital if possible, just because I think giving birth shouldn't be a medical procedure. But I don't think I'd opt for a home birth cos a) I'd want access to decent pain relief and to be near help should anything go wrong and b) I don't want to have to clean up afterwards! So I think the midwife led unit looks like the best middle ground. A midwife led unit in a community setting would be even better, but we don't have one of those near us. You can find out about your birth options at NHS Choices. There should be links to your local services from that page as well.

Just in case any of us need to know in the near / distant future...

Oh, if only my extra lard was going to keep me warm and hibernating all winter, only to disappear magically in the spring! Sadly I am back to the lettuce sandwiches in the hope that it really is all belly rather then bum and thighs, in which case I might have a fighting chance of shifting it again

I can't imagine ever getting as far as giving birth, so I'm not really sure about home vs hospital. A few friends have had very positive home birth experiences, and I quite like the idea of having a serene and relaxed labour in a pool of warm water in the lounge, with my entire CD collection to choose from, and having the undivided attention of two calm and professional midwives who can distract DH by asking for endless cups of tea [disappears off into a warm and fuzzy, soft-focussed baby green-ness.....] But pragmatically, I'm not sure I'd fancy the mess, and I think I might be a bit uncomfortable with being 40-50 minutes drive away from the nearest hospital with a maternity unit. But then again, I'd have less chance of getting MRSA at home (like one friend did) [ponders.....] It does seem, though (and this is not trying to put you off at all, confused) that it's difficult to get 'approval' to have a home birth - if there's any chance of the baby being a bit big, or having its arm behind its back, or if the woman has the slighest hint of anything other than being a completely textbook case, then they want you in hospital.

Those cervix photos were quite impressive. I've often wondered what mine looks like but I am never in a million years going to suggest DH goes in there with a camera (so to speak). But it would certainly shut the inquisitive up if they appeared alongside the holiday snaps

I looked at 'My Beautiful Cervix' and, sorry to say, I was very close to gagging (esp the shots with the alll the white goo.)

You'd think by my age I'd be a bit less squeamish, but apparently not...