To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

Hmmm, well I too can confess that I have often browsed through Ebay looking at lovely baby clothes. As they grow so fast it seems ridiculous spending a lot on new, and via somewhere like Ebay you, well I, can get brands I normally wouldn't want to fork out for. I have to admit to, a while ago, I saw this wonderful 'gro-bag' that was in the shape of a frog (sounds revolting but, trust me, it was really cute!) made by some posh French brand and I was SOOOOOO tempted to put a bid on. Tbink it went for about £15 in the end, not that I was watching it or anything That is about it on the shopping for my virtual baby though, have not, until Seagreen appeared anyway, thought about things like nurseries.

We are getting all excited about the prospect of our new house and move to Hebden Bridge. I think it's the idea of having money in the bank instead of just being constantly in the red (and not just slightly in the red) as well, which is understandable. We will be able to afford to really make our new home our own, for example DH was on about the likes of a Smeg fridge (love them!) and a wood burner - currently have an open fire but do like wood burners as they are so efficient.

Yes, I am verring away from babies but still keeping in domestic - I think the baby thing is going to to kick in BIG time when we move... For DH too (watching Kirstie Allsop making Christmas stuff last night on TV and DH started talking about making a wooden advent calendar for 'when we have kids' - PLURAL?! not sure about that yet - so I don't think I'm the only one.

Thanks, SueRock, YorkshireTeaDrinker!
I think the mobile was about $20, so about £12 or 13. am quite into design and all that (by which i mean i spend plenty of time day dreaming about projects-in-the-sky). so got a bunch of ideas. No clothes so far- think I will be holding fire on that as don't want anyone (read: family/ friends) to bust my chops if they locate a stash.
Plus anyway don't have the money to spend on anything extra right now so it's out of the question!
suspect this whole thing will be a bunch of decor ideas and when sproglet comes along nothing will be done
[hoping have not given everyone the notion that i equate sproglet with just a decor opportunity!]

Welcome SeaGreen. We are all at various stages of red-to-greenness, so you'll slot in where ever you are on the scale.

Looks like you've moved the levels of confession on as well SeaGreen: to what extent are we making physical preparations for the children we are not sure we want! How many clothes have you got put away Suerock? I am slowly filling my bottom drawer with bits and bobs I spot in sales. So far I have a maternity top and a couple of babygrows that I picked up in the Mamas and Papas sale.

Not sure I'll be able to provide the first BFP on this thread. DH is currently crashed out on the sofa asleep. Our 2 week bonkathon is starting to stutter a bit!

I've got an appointment at the docs on Friday. Had a sudden rush of green today and decided to make an initial appointment to find out what out options are for investigation / possible intervention. I reckon ats probably all ok and we are just going to take a while (body dithering as much as mind, etc) but want to start the process of checking, just in case.

Another 6 months of pills eh HP? As confused pointed out, a lot can happen in 6 months. Hopefully you'll be in your House of Dreams within the next six months and then can consider being pill free for a bit. I'd had 13 years on the pill (with gaps for a few periods of chaste singleness) and have found it a bit wierd having normal periods again. It's a lot less predicatable and more painful being unregulated, but once I started paying attention to my cycle its wes pretty interesting to see the changes that happen to my body every month that I have been totally oblivious to for most of my adult life.

Right, best wake DH up and drag him to bed! . Night all.

Welcome SeaGreen, and hello all to the rest of the regular posters - and to LST if you're still around and reading this thread - hope all's well with you.

That mobile is cute - do you know much the maker was asking for it SeaGreen? I wouldn't buy one but I could make one myself though! I have to confess that while nursery design doesn't interest me much (the mite will get a laundry basket to sleep in and a cardboard box for her clothes - if she's lucky) I do make baby clothes, and every time I do a new pattern I make an extra one to put away. If the point comes when I realise I won't have kids I guess I'll have to get rid of them somehow - which will be a bit emotional I think. Like saying goodbye to the child you never had I'm a bit up and down about babies at the moment - when I think about never having one ever, it feels like a trapdoor opens up under my feet and sends me off somewhere I'm not sure I want to go. But since everything else is getting on top of me, mostly I haven't got the energy or will to nag DH into action, and I feel mean doing so anyway. And so another month goes by. But my main panic at the moment is Christmas, about which I have done precisely NOTHING. No presents bought, already missed the posting date for some cards, no food preparation done, no travel sorted. Wah

Hmmm, as I am hoping to start makings things (already do cake toppers for weddings made out of Fimo) you have just given me an excellent idea - thank you Seagreen!

And feel free to ba as obsessive as you want - this is a very self undulgent place and you'll find that you certainly aren't the only one! x

this is another virtual item earmarked for virtual sproglet. Sadly, this is already sold but since the fates decree that it will be years before i get my act together, can always ask this person to make one anew!
ok giving away my obsessive nature here, better quit while am ahead!

And wee'ing when you laugh, cough or sneeze.

The list is endless!

mucho evil

and the stitches, don't forget the stitches...

Confused - join the club!
and thanks for the thoughts-of-her-pelvic-floor tip- feeling better

Share away!

Love the hand me down one, especially.

Oh god, I think you've just started me off on a new obsession - virtual nurseries for the virtual baby. Arrrggghhhh!

These are my current favourites:

The beautiful handmade and hand-me-down nursery is this one

This is the lovely red one, against mostly handmade.

This is so soothing. And pretty roman blinds that this woman colour matched and made herself.

Sorry, don't mean to hijack the thread to talk about my favourite nursery decor inspirations. Just feels lovely being able to share this.

Thanks HoneyPetal! Have a feeling will be lurking there as well!
Re the guidelines, #1 sounds very sensible! Bit traumatised by the horrors up on youtube. re #2, i had a dream two nights ago where i had a kid and the overwhelming feeling was claustrophobia(pls note use of sproglet or kid or similar casual moniker so's not to freak myself out). was quite surprised by that actually- clearly i am broody but somewhere my subconscious is freaking out about it! suspect i am like the dog who strained at his lead to tell the other dogs off, but when let off the lead got really scared and didn't know what to do!
so after that deep self obsessed and boring analysis i will stop here and let others with better things to say take over again!
Anyone else spend too much time on ohdeedoh? it's amazing- manna for the broody! www.ohdeedoh.com/

ps HP I hadn't had a true period in almost 21 years but things went back to normal really quickly (2 months, max.)

Seagrass sorry to hear you're envious of your friend with the new baby. Perhaps you should console yourself by thinking of the current state of her pelvic floor. An odd approach, perhaps, but it works for me!

HP I kind of wish you hadn't said that about the second mortgage. We're stuggling enough with the one we've got! And, answering your question, no, we are not TTC at the moment. In fact, with everything going on, we've barely been shagging at all

Hi Seagreen. Welcome!
If you are scouting around looking for places to talk babies and TTC, I don?t know if you know or not, but there is also a conception thread called ?Anyone else want to join me in a waiting to conceive thread? Anyone else really broody but cant TTC yet?. You may also find support from further like-minded people in there who are definitely planning to TTC in the near future. Of course, you are very welcome here in the Dithering Camp ? just FYI, we have two general guidelines:

1. We don?t talk about the birth trauma website (one of Confused?s scarier discoveries). It?s like our Vietnam.
2. We constantly talk ourselves out of TTC (even those who are TTC), and have endless patience for everyone?s ?red? days/months/years.

..and yet another baby born yesterday to a classmate of mine!
am happy for her, of course
but a bit

Exactly confuseddoiordonti, you've hit the nail on the head. Have got people telling me "babies make their own luck" but i don't think that's a very practical way of looking at it. and yes, our parents coped with not that much financial security, but then they weren't facing the biggest recession since the great depression.
so it's back to surfing the internet and lurking on threads like this and some moaning from time to time! And no, am afaid the money situation is not in my hands at the moment.
am i afraid to be happy? yes i am. is it justified? unfortunately, yes!
YorkshireTeaDrinker- that's spot on! Mother Nature is an evil, evil woman

Bloody money. Many of my concerns (aside from the physical ones [don?t think about the trauma website]) do come from balancing the books. Working full time, childcare costs, buying a house?.eek. When you are used to handling your finances in a certain way, its so difficult to image every last penny disappearing on childcare costs. Someone said to me once that having a child in nursery is like having a second mortgage.

But yes, I am picking up my 6 month supply to see me through to next year. I know it?s a bit stupid worrying about things like the early menopause being masked by all the pill-poppin?, as the chances are very slim of that happening. I?m more worried that there maybe be something else that is hidden, as I haven t had a true period in?.erm?16 years.

I?m hoping that YTD gets her BFP while both of them are green!! Make hay while the sun shines, and all that. It?s been a while since we heard from SueRock. Are you actively TTC then, Confused?

Hello Seagreen, Yes it does seem like money is the biggest factor in all our dithering on this thread, and it is, unfortunately, the one that we cannot really do much about. I was bringing up the money issue with a friend of mine the other week and she seemed quite dismissive, saying that 'loads of people do it with far less money and they cope.' The thing is, I don't want to simply 'cope'. I want to enjoy having a new baby and not be worrying about being off work or how we can afford everything we'd need. That sounds bloody awful to me.
I take it there isn't really anything else you can do about your financial situation, otherwise you'd have already done it?

HP I think you might be worrying unduly about early menopause and the symptoms being masked by the pill but it sounds to me like a rather good reason to come off it In your other post you said you had six months worth, it's amazing how quickly six months pass, and you may be in your new house etc by then.

I am desperate for a BFP on this thread, but not entirely sure I want it to be mine

oh, and taking folic acid, got zinc supplements for DH, thermometer at the ready for BBT checking, done my research, but CAN we start BDing? no sirree!

I shouldn't but I feel a bit better now reading about other people's worries re TTC. Am credit crunched beyond belief and have been waiting to start TTC for almost a year now (last christmas precisely is when we started wanting to). It has never been a good time since the day we decided to start TTC when the money situation would let us.. and now the situation is worse than it was a year ago! Doesn't help that all around me are friends and DH's friends popping out their sproglets. Been wallowing in self pity because we haven't even been able to get to the TTC stage, and who knows how many years it may THEN take? Have found out mother's menopausal age and that made me feel a bit better but due to various AF related historical reasons, SURE the universe will play a cosmic joke on me when the job markets stop their games.
Thanks for putting up with my rant!!

Well, fingers crossed for a month of constant sex followed by a Christmas green-BFP!

Quick post, just got out of bath.

Read a mag article today about early menopause and how this woman came off the pill aged 37 to TTC and found that the pill had masked her symtoms and she was now post-menopausal. So now Im a bit worried. Might go and show DH it.

That Dr Google has a lot to answer for! Sounds like you may be onto something there though, especially backed up by the stuff that came out when you wanted to do the clinical trial. Hope it's nothing too serious though and can be sorted out quickly, and, in the meantime, happy shagging !

Yes mother nature is pretty evil. I can see all the disadvantages but can't overcome teh urge to have a baby!

I am suspecting that if we do have a problem it might be something to do with me not being a suitable host. Ages ago I registered to take part in a clinical trial studying women with heavy periods (not long out of uni - needed the 'expenses') and I was turned down cos I had a bulky uterus. Apart from mild indignation ("are you saying my womb is fat then?!") and being a bit hacked off that my chance to earn some easy £ had been scuppered, I didn't worry too much about it. However, Heavy periods (and when I'm off the pill they can be pretty horrid) and a bulky uterus are both symptoms of endometriosis. So my self disgnosis is that my fat womb is having problems hanging on to a fertilised egg. Self diagnosis supported by a suspected early miscarriage in August (pre-charting and testing, so I can't be sure, but I had what I thought was an early period, which was v light, followed by a v heavy period a couple of weeks later, looking back I think it could have been an implantation bleed followed by v early mc). That's all probably a bit too much info, but you can see why I need to go to the docs - to stop myself asking Dr Google and then diagnosing myself with all sorts of problems!!

So, as this is our last month before we seek medical advise, DH has suggested we take a serious approach to TTC and make sure we just shag lots . The fact that TTC does appear to be taking a while does mean that DH has has plenty of time to get used to the idea - I think he is sometimes more enthusiastic about the idea than I am. He is certainly showing signs of thinking about it a lot more. Greeness all round in the YTD household!