To TTC or not to TTC, that is the question... as Hamlet sort of said about something else entirely

Thats good news about the docs, YTD. You have every right to be put forward for investigations, without having to provide evidence (I'm the same though, I would have taken along my plotted graphs, along with standard deviations and a figure legend ). And once the results start coming in you can begin to figure it all out. I can see why it has thrown you a bit, formalising the situation is counter-intuitive to a Ditherer, even a green one! But all my fingers and toes are crossed for you to get some answers, and good luck with the arrival of the next period, hopefully M.Nature will throw you a bone so you can make your blood test.

(And even though I admit it would be a hilarious and bizarre twist of fate if I managed the worlds least likely BFP, Im rooting for all of you to be the trail-blazers and inspire me to chuck my pills in the bin).

Thanks all for the advice about non-pill real periods. In a way Im fascinated to see what all this business is about. Currently I know exactly when it is due (the Tuesday in my pill free week, 9am +/- 1 hour, FYI) so it would be really weird not to have my much beloved vice like grip of control. Hey, I know, I have issues!!

Oh, and I forgot, I also bought this American book called 'Do I really want to be a Mom'. Seriously. And I was gutted as I wanted to fill in 20 questions and then it would tell me 'yes you do' or 'no you dont'. Obviously it didnt. There were many real life stories though, and one stuck in my head. A woman started TTC age 30, didnt conceive, and at 35 her desire to have a baby went away. Gone. Now, if I could be sure that would happen to me, that there would be no regrets about not having any, I think I would decide not to go for it. The worry about not having any and then being devestated when it was too late is partly why Im exploring the options at the mo.

Confused, YTD* -this is the other one - I liked this one too. It says Blokes Guide but I don't think it patronises men or trivialises issues. don't ask me why i read this as well but it was refreshing to see it through a man's eyes.

Have not got any clothes etc.. but DO have two books this is one- really like this (read cover to cover in the interest of scientific enquiry)

• and done a lot of random lists of virtual stuff for virtual sproglet after reading reviews and lists of what one needs. Confused - thanks for sharing the breed- am always interested!

Too tired to respond now but will tomorrow!

Night!

I'm not exactly sure why they have to test during my period and I was a bit gormless and didn't ask. I have to have two appointments - one during my period (so cycle days 1 - 4) where they will do a swab and blood test. I think that is when they do the Chlamydia test, which is apparently compulsary. Then I have to have another blood test on day 22, which is the progesterone test - which checks to see if you are ovulating.

It all felt a bit rushed really. The GP took a very brief history, but didn't ask about miscarriage, so I had no opportunity to mention my suspected miscarriage in August. Also there was no physical exam or weighing, which I would have expected. I guess I should be pleased that we are straight on to the first set of diagnostic tests without having to prove ourselves in any way, but I'm feeling a bit like we've been rushed through to level 2 without really completing level l.

However, we are now in the system, and next time I'll ask more questions. I guess I'm just not used to being a patient.

Just been and had a look at the Amazon reviews for Fatherhood the Truth. I think I might get it for DH - capitalise on his current enthusiasm. The other upside of involving the dr is that DH is now a whole lot more interested in the process.

I am confident that you will remain green in the spring Confused. It's the ideal time to start TTC - when the sap is rising and nature starts getting frisky. Couldn't time it better really.

YTD - that is exactly how I felt when we went to see the nurse at the hospital for the preconception 'chat'! It seems so much more official now, doesn't it? My fingers are crossed they can get to the bottom of things for you very quickly. I too would have expected the appointment to last a bit longer and, even though realistically I suppose this isn't the done thing, to somehow 'prove it'. Why do you have to have the blood test during your next period? I take it it must be something to do with your hormone levels?

Seagreen We nearly went for a lab, but got sidetracked and found ourselves at the rescue place looking at border collies instead. We got her when she was 10 weeks and she's been a handful and a hell of a learning curve but worth every moment (I can say that easily when she's lovely and sleepy and curled up at my feet - less so when she's bouncing off the walls or trying to herd up joggers.)

So, as for the shopping - so, I haven't bought anything. Not even late at night when pissed on Ebay! However, what I have bought is a book for DH by Marcus Berkmann called Fatherhood the Truth. I had to review it once for a magazine and, as far as these things go, it's a good 'un. It's currently still in the jiffy bag in a drawer in the kitchen (DH thinks it is one of his Christmas presents) The fact that it's a book for men about the whole debacle, but not too laddish or earnest is appealing. No little white vests though... yet

Just had a friend here dropping off her dog (collie / greyhound cross if you're interested!) and she had her 7 week old daughter with her. DH asked if she, the baby not my friend, had made me go all broody, and then said he had!

Hence, this is very much a green house this evening. Oh yes siree... Not that we would be doing anything about it as, like you say YTD knowing sod's law we'd strike it lucky right away (and the house sale would fall through etc etc.) However, I am now hoping to be in more of a position in, say, early spring**hmmm, bet by the time early spring comes I'll be back on the 'red' again!

HP I can echo Suerock's advice re post pill periods. Mine have been fairly predictable since coming off the pill and, whilst heavier than a pill bleed not (with a couple of notable exceptions) anything like the painful heavy periods I used to have as a teenager.

And you do recognise the signs, which rather ironically are similar to early pregnancy signs. Another of Mother Nature's evil tricks!

Drs appointment was quick and relatively painless. I just said that we had been TTC for 15 months (well, 14 1/2 actually, and the first few months we we're being exactly scientific about it) and thought it was probably time we starting looking in to possible problems. Dr asked me if I drank smoke or had an underlying medical condition and same for DH and then said we quilified for intervention and needed to make appointment for blood tests and semen analysis. Took about 5 minutes in total. I was expecting to have to produce my charts, to prove that we'd done everything at the right time, but there was no interegation at all. So mission accomplished - looks like we are now in the system.

Only minor problem was that I have to go for my blood test during my next period. Periods currently last about 4 days, and next one is due New Years Eve, meaning that my window of opportunity falls neatly over the bank holiday weekend when the drs is shut! So if AF doesn't arrive on schedule on the 31st, I may miss out this month.

It feels a bit wierd. I know I've been green as anything for the past couple of months and I pretty sure I do want a baby, but going to the docs makes it all official now. We really are TTC and the NHS is involved. Public money is now funding our conception efforts, so we'd better be serious about it!

OK, before this gets completely out of hand, has anyone here actually bought anything for her virtual baby?! I confess to a handful of pregnancy/birth/early years books picked up secondhand and kept out of the way of nosey, well, noses. And I've 15 or so cardigans/jumpers/hats that I've made. Judging by the leakiness of most babies, that'll be enough for, ooh, about a morning

HP I know everyone?s different, but coming off the Pill doesn?t necessarily mean teenage period unpredictability so don?t let that stop you! My cycle is annoyingly variable (+/- 5 days ish) but I can nearly always tell when my period?s about to arrive, with increased accuracy as I get nearer. And my cycle?s gone back just the way it always was within a couple of months when I?ve come off the Pill. Without wanting to sound like a complete earth-mother you?ll probably get to know your own rhythm pretty fast! (Especially if you end up obsessively monitoring every nuance of your cycle to identify (in)fertile times!

YTD Hope the appointment went well. Let us know.

Confused - mine's a labrador..

Maybe not too soon (she says, changing her tune completely!) as there is always the possibility of a first time hit, so don't TTC when it is really inconvinient. But I think you are realistically on the way to being in a situation where you can support a child. Remember, you also have to add 9 months on to however long it takes you to conceive in the first place. Babies have a pretty long lead in time!!

I am off to the docs in 30 mins. Am strangely nervous about the prospect...

Think I've read the same info somewhere.

Hmm, wonder if I can convince DH that we should try and get cracking sooner rather than later (patience isn't one of my strong points)

Stats from NHS Choices website are as follows:

The length of time it takes to become pregnant (conceive) is different for everyone, but on average, for every 100 couples who have sex two to three times a week:

• around 30 will conceive within one month,
• around 60 will conceive within six months, and
• around 85 will conceive within one year.

The remaining couples take longer, and some may need medical help to conceive. A small number of couples may not be able to conceive at all if one, or both, of them is infertile.

So 15% of couples can take longer than a year, and I think that percentage rises as you get older, but I don't have stats to support that.

HP a pregnancy book is almost as bad!

LST I agree that HP would be the first but do hope, after everything, that it's actually you.

I agree that you don't know how long it will take. I have had various medical people implying that it could happen IMMEDIATELY but, really, I think one has to be realistic. Isn't it one in four couples have trouble? Or am I thinking of something else altogether? When you put it like that, ie in a year we could be ready to hatch one out, it does sound rather scary. I mean, three months?! Yikes.

Still think HP will beat me to it though!

Confused I think it all rather depends on how you define "do something about it". I think it is perfectly possible to interpret it as in a year?s time you will be ready to produce and house a baby, which means that in 3 months time you could potentially start TTC.

It can take up to 2 years to conceive naturally, so remember to factor that in when forward planning. If you think you'll be ready for a baby in a year?s time, then you really should start trying well before that.

Sorry, I'm getting a bit soap-boxy about the whole 'it can take ages to conceive' thing. But I really don't think you should leave it until you want a baby immediately to start TTC, cos it doesn't always happen on cue. If I'd spent 15 months TTC and was in a state of perpetual greenness, then I think I'd have gone mad by now. As it is I've been dithering for months, so my panic is much more measured (honestly!)

Pregnancy book HP? You?re getting greener and greener. Any chance this batch of pills could be your last? I may be the front runner for first BPF here, given that I am actually trying in earnest now (unless LST gets there first ? is radio silence from LST indicative of offline IVF activity?) but I still think the narrative thrust of this thread is that HP should be first.

Whoaaahhhh! Reading back my post it may look like I am buying baby things eg clothes! To clarify, I have only, repeat only, bought the pregnancy book. Although, that is bad enough, I admit!!!

Cant type more, at work, will post later....

Morning all! Am now concerned about LST - where are you...??

Animals - no, nothing wrong with them at all, I agree! But then, I would do. I am dog sitting this weekend for the girl who has the baby which had a strange effect on me, in fact. Seagreen what kind of dog do you have? How old? Mine is a 2 year old Border Collie.

HP - BUYING BABY THINGS? Fuck me! (S'cuse my French so early in the morning.) I am shocked. Shocked in a good way, but shocked all the same. I feel as if I am starting to lag behind in the 'shopping for virtual baby' stakes.

Today I am very green, which is a hangover from last night where I was also very green. Me and DH ended up talking about baby related things and I ended up Googling things about childbirth for people who are Type 1 diabetics.
I didn't like what I found - it all seemed to focus around having drips in each hand (one of glucose and one of insulin) as well as lots of other medical procedures which really shouldn't be neccessary if you (as in the patient) know what you are doing. I am suspecting a lot of it may be due to hospital polices rather than the individual, but this doesn't make me feel any better.

These findings last night got me and DH talking about Doula's - he, understandably, hadn't the foggiest what a Doula was so I showed him the website and he seemed really interested. I am also keen on exploring the idea, as someone who know's exactly what is going on and can help you through it sounds great. DH liked the idea of someone helping the pair of us too, and said he did find the whole birth thing, esp with me being diabetic, very daunting. Me too, matey!

He seems really keen on everything, as am I (today at least) but then he also said 'just think, in a year's time we'll be in the perfect situation to do something about it.'

A YEAR?!

Bugger.

Many of us have substitute babies little pets. Confused is famous for her love of doggies and indeed dog-sits for a lovely beagle, which I may dog nap. Although Im more of a crazy cat person, having two.

It's nearly Christmas..... Whippeee!!

Confused- what's wrong with animals anyway? my dog is my most precious baby and will always be my first baby.

We are four years post-wedding, I think most people either assume we arent going to have any or that we are trying and haven't been successful. No-one ever asks though, but I may have mentioned my mother-in-law, who wrings her hands and wails to Mother Nature "when, oh when will I have grandchildren?".

I can't really answer her, to be honest.

Also, buying baby stuff?!? Good grief, that may be the greenest confession ever uttered on this thread. I feel faint and trembly at the thought of DH finding that stuff. I bought Jools Olivers pregnancy book and it is hidden at the bottom of my underwear drawer. Oops, that was a bit of a confession of my own.....

Yes, where is LST? Hope she is ok.

Good luck with the apointment, YTD, hope it goes ok. From what everyone is saying, re red/amber/green, you are still the lead BFP chance.

I am yet to pick up my prescription, must go before next week or Im in trouble. It's good that both of your periods came back so quickly, I guess it's one of the things that you don't know until you try. Sorry if this is TMI, but I used to hate the unexpected early start, especially at school or college. Shudder. But Im a big girl now, hopefully better at planning!

I tried the cut and paste option but, for some reason, it doesn't work here (we have Star office which is rubbish so maybe that's why.)

Congratulations on your engagement! Apart from my dad being a dickhead, we enjoyed every moment of our wedding planning - hope you enjoy every minute too!

Yes, the thought of people watching my mood, what I eat etc would drive me insane too. As would people trying to advise me once I had had the baby too, I think. I also am not keen on the assumption that we will automatically have kids now we've got married (will be two years in April, so maybe those assumptions are fading off now.) Those chains of thought make me want to go in the opposite direction. The other week I had a friends mother, and yes she is known for being a cantankerous stirrer, calling me a 'baby hater' and commenting on how I 'only like animals' This woman has 5 kids and it would be very rude indeed for me to criticize her decision to have five, and likewise it is surely just as rude for her to comment on my decision not have any?!

I'll stop there as I can see myself getting on a rant...

Oh, at work, I like the Word or Exchange then cut and paste option!

Hiya confused

We met a year ago and have been engaged for a couple of weeks. We both agreed that we wanted to be married before having kids. He's always wanted to have them. But I'm very aware of my age. I'd be more sorry for him than me at the moment if it turned out we couldn't have any.

I can't bare the assumption from work folks and his friends/family that once we get married we'll have children. It seems so bloody nosey and rude! So I'm publicly sticking to my mantra of "no kids thankyou". The thought of people watching my moods (PMT) or my drinking habits sends me rather

As a career girl I do find myself being scarily competitive! Once we've decided to go for it, I want to start now and race to a BFP! Even though scared silly!

Oh dear - writing at work does make things tricky. I meant to say that 'even now, not many people know my mind is changing' and also, I don't mean to sound arrogant not rude! Rude isn't the right word at all! Lastly, it's scientists not scientist.

Right - corrections over! (I am typing very sneakily at work while pretending to be actually working, you see.)

Hello BB!
I can see exactly what you mean. I never wanted any before meeting DH, and possibly turning 35, and, even now, it changes on a hourly / daily basis. I have friends who used to look at every potential boyfriend as a potential father, but I was the opposite. In fact, even now, not many people that my mind is gradually changing.

Kids don't scare me, I don't mean to sound rude but I am very good with them (as has been mentioned to me quite a few times) but they do bore me, or at least they can do. The other weekend I was with some friends who had a daughter after 18 years or so together and they seemed so happy now (they too had been adamant about NOT having any but changed their mind suddenly, it was a toss up between than and some dogs). But! While they seem so content etc it also does seem bloody dull sometimes, and also the smallest thing takes so much organisation and all spontaneity goes out of everything. This does not appeal one bit!

I do think on this thread, and the scientist on here will especially agree, that we tend to analyse too much, but I think this inevitable when you get to our ripe-ish old ages!

When did you meet your fiance? And how old is he, and what are his views on the matter , and have they always been his views or is it a recent change of heart etc etc. Nosey, aren't I?!

Can I join you guys? I've been lurking on MN for a while now and need somewhere to hang out - I think I've found a home

I'm 36 1/2 and never, ever wanted kids. But met a new man (getting married in May) who wants kids and suddenly find myself a tentative green! (Surely hanging out on MN is a green sign in itself?!)

Kids scare me! Worse than that they often bore me! Think I'm safe admitting that kind of thing here.