Emmsy's onwards and upwards part six - sticky icky babydust BFP central!!!

jools I so hope you are feeling odd for all the right reasons, I am going to hope untill the EW sings. Go home early it sounds a very good plan

mls You must have a stream with watercress beside it next to your house cos I can't find any in the shops now.

This weather is just makng me feel heavy and headachey and blahhhhh and the weather makes my customers in a real bad mood too so I have been speaking to grumpy men all morning which hasn't helped!

4ever onwards and upwards

Mermaid - am loving the mental pic of MLS asleep in the greenhouse I have to admit to consuming 2 large glasses of rose at the pub quiz last night - wouldn't mind a snooze in the chair myself !

Loving the idea of a greenhouse, nurturing all those beans, helping them to germinate and thrive

As for testing MLS - yesterday I told myself I would just wait until AF ws due. Today, I am feeling so odd, I am wondering if I ought to test again in the morning so I can notify the clinic if anything is happening. Not sure yet.

Just wanna say how much I love you all xxxxxx Iv cried and had a downturned mouth most of today but you have made me smile with your love & support. Cupcake you said there are no words, but you have all found them & they are perfect. This 'life' malarky is everso complicated im just so glad Iv found you all to walk alongside me through this... Thank you from the bottom of my heart xxxxxxxxxxx Right back to head in sand work... xxxxxx

4ever so sad that you are feeling so despondent at the moment. You have always been an inspiration to me with your ability to pick yourself up after every set-back. Fingers & toes crossed that your cover will last for more than 9 months. What day are you on.... is it 23? It is still early if so.

Iggy the other day I thought of a brilliant reason why it is better to leave having children until you are older.... they are not going to bugger off & leave you when you are in your 40's, my lo's are going to be with me until I'm well into my 60's!

Jools it sounds like you are in tune with your body, are you going to do another test at the weekend?

Vjay enjoy your yummy pie & cake....oooooo if I was pregnant that is exactly what I'd be having but as it is I'm about to make another batch of Mermaid's watercress soup.

GG Enjoy Edinburgh, hope your car makes it!

Cupcake you are so like your name - very sweet & fluffy. That is a complement btw!

Hoping good news about your tests, you may not have got the answers you are looking for but at least the results might make you relax a bit?

Mermaid is it time to get the watering cans out yet?

Well Neeko says her boobs are looking massive but she is not going to test yet as she doesn't have any with her.

We so need some good news on this thread.

It must be the weather coupled with too much pmt which noone should be having (note to mn towers please can we have a stamp foot smiley)

ig hindsight is very good for showing us what we should have done blah blah. But we had to meet the right dh, nightclubbing careers etc. You have so not left it too late and I know it all comes crowding in on you when the sympton spotting turns to af signs.
And 1 mc or 4 the pain, terror and grief is no diffferent honey but maybe the desperation just builds to dizzying heights

mrskate so glad your dh is feeling up to joking etc I was worried about you both yesterday.

vjay macaronni pie that sounds very scotish is it cos I have never heard of one.

The greenhouse is looking rather lovely, few empty bottles rolling around this morning and mls is snozzing in the massage chair still but thats fine

4ever right - am back from minor sobfest - just wanted to say that I can totally identify with what you are saying. Although also realise that with just one MC - I can't compare. I feel like I have left everything too late - like am too old.. But neither of us are really. You so deserve to get a sticky bean and soon. xx

lol, your dh sounds loads better mrskate, go for it, mask an all

hi girls

4ever
i am soooo sorry for your bfn big hugs and loves . thinking of you xxxxxxx

gracie have a great time . we shpuld set up a group we love our matron xxx

im feeling better today dh is feeling better and he joked this am if im still ov he will wear a mask 2nite for bd that made me laugh lol imagineing him in a mask

Well I was crying over stupid things yesterday, then ranting and steaming angry, then in tears again I can predict my PMT though, and it is usually depression rather than rage and it should arrive on Friday afternoon, not yesterday

In fact, I'm feeling so rough, I might head home at lunchtime ...

btw jools excellent signs from you

Thank you for being positive jools [grin} am right misery today. Think is sign AF on way... but not sure of cycle length these days - last month was 33 days and today is CD30.

Am crying at the most stupid things - does happen before AF sadly... Guess might test again if no AF over weekend... but given up hope x

Iggy - hormonal is good If it is too early for PMT to arrive, then it is a SYMPTOM.

Do you feel sick again today ? I've nearly lost my breakfast twice. Everything stinks

sorry can't post much today

4ever have a huge hug from me. xxxxx

Am having v. hormonal day - sat in tears at desk for 2nd time so far today... sigh. Sorry may be more use later and able to chat xxx

4ever I really feel for you at the moment, and I am crossing everything that your treatment has covered you for life, that would be brill.

gracie have a fab time in Edinburgh, you will feel a little closer this weekend, still 3 hours drive away though, but closer and so glad your dh was ok after his car crash.

mrskate hope you and your dh are ok, thinking of you too.

mermaid looks like we've already moved into your greenhouse, I do love what you've done with the place, it's lush, and turning most of us into lushes too , hiding gin here and vodka there

I feel sorry for barbie when she gets back, she'll have to take a sickie so can she catch up

blue how are you, and mm too, not working too hard I hope and looking after your not so little beans.

I'm off out to lunch in a bit with my lovely ds, he wants to go to the bakery for a macaroni cheese pie and a cake, and who am I to say no

...and just to quickly add that at 35 you are nowhere near the age limit for adoptions 4ever - still got loads of time

4ever you are such an amazing girl
I am crossing everything that your treatment covers you forever. plan for an mot is a great one. Getting drunk at wedding also sounds fairly fab and you can of course do a bit of dancing on tables which is always good for lifting a girls spirits

A big hug, dust down and heaps of love.xx

Sorry 4ever X-post.. that sounds v positive about the consultant...praying that a) you tested too early and/or b) your treatment does cover you for longer

Oh 4ever there are just no words. want to just wrap you in a warm blanket and hug you...or something that sounds a little less creepy...

Let me just say this though - God does not hate you. I can promise you that. You are an amazing brave lady and you are so loved.

We should have called this thread the booze up in the greenhouse! I think we all need it right now...

MLS so sorry about all your worries too. Really hope your dd does something to cheer you up today

Gracie have an ace time! And so pleased your work are being so fab

Hi Curly cos I know you're lurking hugs to you lovely lady.

Iggy any more symptoms or signs of AF?

Hoping and Jools glad your tests are coming back normal - know what you mean about something that can be 'fixed' jools but hopefully for the both of you, the next one is THE ONE and you have just been incredibly unlucky so far.

Hi mermaid and blue and everyone else

OOh one thing so I know my facts, Hoping is there an age limit for adoption?

Thank you ladies.. Gracie I have a massage gift cert from DH so maybe will try that, but am thinking might try docs to get all i can on NHS for stess & relaxation..
Hoping you are so sweet, but adoption would be a far away back up plan for next year, I just chat with DH & if no joy by next July then will start that ball rolling then (also with the hope I fall within a few weeks of doing so!)
Gracie have 00.1% hope that is too early but I guess hope is still hope. Enjoy Edinburgh, I hadnt read properly & thought Fiesta was a name for your bean then! Thank god DH came out of crash ok..
Mermaid can you & Hoping track down that stork for me then please??! I remember seeing one on honeymoon & we thought 'its a sign' & it was.. Thank you for the gin vodka & chocs from Jools.. 10am is not too early today..

I called consultant secretary, next step is test my antibody levels again, may still be ok & apparently in some cases cover from treatment can be for life so holding out thats the case. If not will need treatment again but she said oth women have needed a 2nd go & gone on to have babies.. thats the point I started sobbing to her.. The consultant will call me to chat in next couple of days..

Next step of self scripted plan is go docs for anxiety/stress/relaxation issues, & poss consider another scan to check all bits in working order & no underlying reason why ttc not worked...

Positive list incs more hair dying, getting drunk at family wedding on 8th aug, going to see footy at wembley next fri (even DH mates know I may not of gone dependent on PG or not..) and Nans 80th next w-end too...

Right, thank you as always for letting me vent, talk it through & your amazing support as always.. xxxxxxx I really cant thank you all enough. God knows where id be without you, i really dread to think. Im picking up & dusting off, as has become habit, & will switch off for a couple of hours & get lost in work...

Love you all massively xxxxxxx

oh crap 4ever I cannot bear to see you both going through this. I think kidnapping the stork is a mighty fine idea however.
jools could well be right on the old stress front I think our bodies feel it even if we try and supress it and lets face it bloody mother nature is far more complex than we will ever know.
It is so hard when the very thing that as women we do we can't do and you feel this to the core. Hold on tight, none of us will let you fall honey.
Put that call into the consultant cos you always feel better when you have set something in motion.xx

gracie have a fab time screaming at simon I had a Duran Duran shrine when I was young hope your dh is ok after his crunch.

jools well done for organising nice things, it helps a bit. I hope you are feeling ok too.x

See ya Gracie Have a good weekend Did you say you were seeing Duran Duran or did I dream that ?? Throw some knickers on stage for me . Hope DP is OK after the crash and your little fiesta is up to the journey

Hoping - looks like we're both in the same boat then - probably just very unlucky .. I'm waiting for all the hormone and clotting disorder blood tests to come back, but genetics tests were clear yesterday.

Have sorted out the Rick Stein booking and have nice night out with DP at a pub quiz. Feel like a walking zombie this morning though - have nearly lost my breakfast a couple of times and I only had 2 glasses of rose !

Big hello to everyone else Gotta go do some work as there are some scarily senior people in the office today

aww 4ever this is so unfair for you! I really wish I could hunt down the bloody stork and force the bugger to bring you your babby now rather than put you through all this

If you are thinking about adoption seriously, I used to work in children's services and still have some contacts . Ok it's a different nation to where you are(?) but the basic proceedures and need to knows are broadly the same. If you like I will call in some favours and see if I can get one of them to get in touch to give you some more info. Totally understand though if you don't feel ready to take that step yet.

And here's another need to know - many couples who adopt because they can not have children go on to give birth within a year. Something to do with have a lo around the place! so there is always, always hope

4ever I've been for a massage every 3 weeks since my miscarriage in Feb and I think that helped me relax.

4ever I'm sorry you got a BFN. You listen to Jools she talks a lot of sense. I have everything crossed that its just still early and a BFP might come for you in a couple of days. My BFP wasn't until day 27 this time. Have a massive hug from me.

I'm off to Edinburgh in a few minutes so can someone update me on any happenings between now and Sunday. Thanks!