Help...when to have children?

Second VAG, come and join us on the mid 30s thread. We are basically just boozing, eating crap and wondering if being shit scared about ttc is normal or not

hiya,
I dreaded the idea of having kids and then fell preggers by accident .

DH was super-ready for them.

It's the best thing I ever did, very stressful and tiring, but still the best thing ever. SO much so I am doing it again a year and a bit later.

It is a lot to think about, and the realities of how much life would change would put you off, but I would say go for it. There is no accounting for just how rewarding they are, and how much love you will have for them.

But I would agree - if you are now in your mid-30's, I would seriously consider trying soon, as you don't know how difficult it may or may not be.

Good luck in your decision.

Hey Winnie - come and join us flakes and lushes on the mid-thirties ttc thread and share your angst among like-minded individuals! We none of us know what we're doing on mumsnet....

I feel the same way Winnie I'm almost always in two minds about it.

I won't go into the saga (other threads passim) but now me and DP don't use any contraception on the basis that if it happens it happens and if it doesn't I'm quite philosophical. I'm 35 and it has never been in my life plan, and I can't quite reconcile it eing in my life plan now. Nature will tell me if I'm destined to be a mother and I shall accept whatever the fates decide to throw my way.

Can't deny I'm petrified about runny poo and potty training. I have a fear of poo, big time which I suspect I shall have to overcome, as DP dry heaves even at the thought of it.

I think if financially you are ok, if your relationship is strong, then go for it because it is amasing to have kids!

honestly - I think a lot of people never feel ready. And MrsR is right, it is risky leaving it for longer.

When I got a BFP with my first pregnancy I cried. Then I miscarried a few weeks later and was completely gutted even though I'd been apprehensive. Went on to get pregnant again really quickly and now have 18MO DD who is the most amazing little thing and has brought us so, so much happiness. There are stressful times but I've never, ever for a minute regretted having her. Having said that (i) I know people who have had it harder
(ii) I always knew deep down that I wanted children despite the initial panic

Overall, I think it's very, very rare to regret having children (although I know some people feel in the early weeks that maybe they weren't cut out for it but that always seems to subside once you've settled into having a new and very demanding person in your life).

BTW I'm also very anxious - but have tried to teach myself that it's just not healthy/constructive and that I'm just torturing myself. It's almost a physical process, pushing the anxieties to one side and just refusing to acknowledge them

Best of luck

Of course it is stressful at times, there's no getting away from it. And your life will change more than you imagine.
It is also rewarding and quite, quite wonderful.

Well, if you are going to do it I wouldn't leave it much longer.
Why do you want children though?