The Hut of Gl/Doom... Please don't ask about our reproductive plans as a smack round the head with TCOYF often offends

Bump and hello everyone! I'm so relieved that I didn't kill the thread.

Nice to meet you all. Sorry to hear all your sad stories. Mine is in a similar vein. I have DD (took about 18 months). Have been trying for no. 2 for 2 years and have had 1 m/c, a year ago nearly to the day. I am sick of reading TCOYF and it's now being used to prop up a table leg! I'll check back when I've more time to whinge .

Margarita is my cocktail of choice, so I'll buy in a round and place down my handbag on the dance floor so we can all have a boogie.

hi everyone - have come to wallow AF has arrived AGAIN - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why do I so stupidly get my hopes up every month, even after the first day I still have those stupid thoughts that I could still get a BFP. I am actually on holiday and it should be idyllic and yet I am nursing stupid shattered daydreams which I had cultivated about getting a BFP here and going home all smug and happy - haha - serves me right.

Durtz - so sorry about your mc - and yes I also appear to be surrounded by pg and babies in RL and am starting to do that really obsessive thing where I find myself staring at every woman of child bearing age and wondering if they are pg?? Insane and wrong I know I am just waiting for my BF to tell me she is pg again even though "not trying".

tortie - aka mummy2olivia - Of course I remember you I am so sorry you are still TTC with your DH, it's sh*te. I wish I could just know why it does not happen each month when everything else apparently seems to be right? And I don't buy all this crap about being relaxed - I mean women get pg all over the world in terrible/stressful circumstances every day.

internet connection dying so hoping this posts OK. I am leaving a big jug of mojitos and a giant chocolate cake.

Hi girls..

Can I check back in ? Am about to start ttc'ing again...Had my last mc in October and its taken til xmas to even get my head staright..this last one I think has been the worst ever...I started back on my prenatal vitamins a month ago, and we think we will start trying very soon..not sure if this month or next ..
It doesnt help that my bff started trying this weekend..although she deserves another baby - shes such a wonderful mum....

But does anyone else feel totally bloody surrounded by babies and pregnant women ?/

tortie- if it's any hope for you, although it's not in the Hut's ethos to foist hope on people, I had two pregnancies in 6 years of ttc/ftc. First one was a MC, second was DD3.

tortie- sorry to hear about your MC. They really stink.

Ah seaside, hello, and hello tortie. There really is nothing rational about it whatsoever. It doesn't get any easier if it's no 2, 3 or n that you're ftc. In fact in many respects it's worse because there are different sets of pressures bearing on you, including the guilt about not being able to "supply" a sibling.

Anyway, you guys need a theme. Lissie's not coming into the Hut any more, and she often did the deco, so it's up to you now how to deck it out.

I feel ready for the Hut too- perhaps if we bump it up a bit seaside others will join??

I used to be mummy2olivia, I remember you from the temp buddies.

Me and DH are still TTC no.1 . My little girl is 7 this year and we have had a 3 year TTC journey and one MC in May 08. I have had 2 laparoscopies for endometriosis and have been very despondent for a few months now. I feel like i have an emotional blockage- does that make sense?? I had 6 months on the pill after the MC because I was so low and tired.

However, we are on a bit of a push now and although it is good to spend time with others having probs, I need support and hand holding.

I have just got another f*ing period- 5 months after laparoscopy/dye/hysteroscopy. According to the consultant after that, all is normal. minimal endo lasered away, tubes clear and all normal. Hormone profile is damn spot on. DHs SA results are 'marvellous' apparently. Why isnt it happening then?? one PG in 3 years is shite

Ahhh - the hut and duchesse - like a beacon of light. I was just yesterday thinking I must bump up the hut as I need a quiet place to whinge without recrimination.

Lily- I will keep you company and anyone else who is around

I bring a large jug of Moscow Mule and 10 bars of Divine dark choc. Do we have a theme for the hut? I am proposing a refurb for 2010, a bit Space Odyssey. A dark round house with hanging pods full of pillows and goose down duvets.

Here's my backstory: TTC number 2, I used to frequent the hut in 06/07 towards the end of my 23 months of TTC number 1. It was truly a great comfort - hence I am plunging back in a lot earlier this time, "only" on my 7th month of TTC number 2 but have missed the steady middle stage of trying and headed straight from 6 months of quiet optimism (surely it would be easier 2nd time around?) to resigned negativity (I promised if I managed to have one I would never ask for another thing and I guess I am being held to my promise) I am now in the stupid 2ww where I know I am not pg but will be double bluffing myself with a glimmer of hope- gahhh, cr*p

One caveat - I have to say I clearly remember thinking in before that TTC number 2 must be very different as at least you had one already and in most rational ways it is. But of course it is the irrational which always gets you and I am already getting sad looking at other peoples bumps, scan pics newborns etc thinking I may never have that again. Stupid eh? especially as I have at least had it once.

How goes it duchesse?

Well I have already spewed way too much - back soon I am sure.

lily, I'm sure it's not personal; sometimes everyone just runs out of steam in the Hut. Also lissie is steering clear of the conception threads now.

You need to get some virtual alcohol and chocolate in.

Didn't I warn you all earlier that I was a thread killer!!!!

Thanks heebee

Oh lily

There was an article in the Evening Standard this evening about the Lister offering ANYONE free IVF. I can't find it online yet, but will post if it comes up tomorrow

af on her way. Foiled again.

lissie sending you positive vibes I think your decision is the right one for you and N and although hard to make you will find peace x

Thanks for the advice Lissie. Best wishes.

Rainbow - That is awful news, I'm so sorry.

Lissie - I hope you get some peace as time progresses. I can understand your need to stay away from the ttc boards.

Looks like I am having another miscarriage, so not feeling very chatty at the moment.

lily, i would speak to a herbalist before taking it, it can be v powerful and annovulation is only one possible cause of infertility.

thank you all for your kind words. am really feeling no better. i always thought that when i'd had enough i would feel a kind of peace, and i dont. i feel bitter and unutterably sad for the family that we wanted. we have ds, which is more than we ever thought we would, but i feel that i have cheated him out of an experience that would have made him so happy. i feel unfulfilled, but, enough is enough.

i think i need to leave the ttc boards now. i am sad and (as i said) bitter because other people are getting pg. i know that them having babies doesn't stop me, and there aren't just so many potential children in the world, but i hate the person that ftc has made me. last round of clomid. last cycle ttc.

i hope to still see you all around and that you soon get the healthy happy pg's and babies that you deserve.
love you all and thank you for all your support over the last 3y xx

I think I got as far as buying a bottle, but then started on clomid, then switched to tamoxifen and my cycles suddenly became text book (ovuating on day 14 and everything!) so I never really took it.

I would say anything's worth a go though. I've decided to start having acupuncture again...

Thanks Heebee. Sorry to hear about your af.

I was wondering if anyone has tried using Agnus Castus (think I spelled it ok)? I never heard of it and a nurse was telling me about it recently as she had success using it. Anyone got any info?

xxx

Hi all

lily so sorry to hear about your nana - thinking of you..

lissie - thinking of you.. look after yourself, and hope you see you here very soon

Rainbow - hope you're ok

Duritz - hi and well done on staying strong...

Well the waiting list for the lap and dye means I will probably have to wait until Jan/mid-Feb. I tried to fluff it a bit using my private medical insurance and say it was for endometriosis. They correctly assumed that there would be fertility problems in there, but said they would do it if my consultant faxed them. My consultant said she would do this, but as they want a copy of my original referral letter, which would be for fertility issues, I'm not sure how creative she is prepared to be...

And, AF arrived today. Yee hah...

Hello all, sorry not to have checked in for a bit (my Nana just died )

Duritzfan well done for holding it together with your neighbour.

Polly Thanks

Heebee my sympathies about the appraisal, life does seem sort of on hold when you are ttc. You don't want to do this or that 'just in case'. Best wishes for all that you are about to do.

Lissie I don't know what to say, so sorry you are feeling this way.

As for me, I'm just passed mid-cycle but for obvious reasons have not done much of the necessary to conceive, so I guess I'll be back in a fortnight breaking my heart about my period arriving even though a BFP would be a bloody miracle!!!

Love to all.

Huge hugs Lissie .. I saw my neighbour at the weekend for the first time since I mc'd ..we were due at the same time .. she is really showing now and I got the urge to run away from her ...
Managed to stay and be nice though ...

Huge hugs to you all xxxxxxxxx

Lissie xx look after yourself.
Hi Rainbowdays hope your doing ok.

Lissie - you sound the lowest I have ever heard you, I wish there was something I could say to help, but even a virtual batch of alcohol and chocs are not going to help you right now. Take care of yourself, and perhaps in a few days you might feel like being here and re-decorating to suit your mood. I will be waiting for you.