The Hut of Gl/Doom... Please don't ask about our reproductive plans as a smack round the head with TCOYF often offends

new thread

broccoli, I am so sorry

broccolitrees - sorry to hear that the m/c has not even been straightforward, but I hope that it will settle down for you now as you say. I had a slow falling m/c at one stage and it is still the one that upsets me the most thinking about it. I hope that the next couple of weeks you can start looking at the new year as a fresh time to allow thinking again. Loiter here as much as you need to.

mmmmm schnapps, not had that in a while galway
i'm ok still loitering in hut obviously. ended up in hospital over weekend as bhcg not falling as it should after mc, they were concerned about ectopic somewhere or other as well. was allowed home sunday as drop significant enough but have to keep having blood tests til back to 0.
started properly bleeding on sunday too and have now passed what i believe to be the sac etc hopefully it will settle down again soon. would love to think that we will get pregnant in new year but in truth, can't be bothered to think at all

broccolitrees - how are you doing? I hope that physically things are happening as well as they can, and that emotionally you are getting plenty of tlc from your family.

Lissie - my dh is being uncooperative with stopping ttc at the moment. I (fortunately) in the last few months have stopped concieving by just looking at him. But now, I do have to get him to get around to the idea of not just not trying to concieve, but actually to actively prevent it.

With your situation, could you afford a one-off private trip to see Dr Shantala? (my visit to Dr Rai cost around £500, but letter sent to GP for recommended treatments to help) rather than putting up with your silly brainless NHS consultant? Your GP might help with things if a private consultant gave recommendations. Tell me to go take a run and jump if I am saying things that are not helpful or you have already tried.

I have flicked the feather duster around the hut, and am leaving a crate of brandy and snaps... Thought we could do with a change of drink for a while!

btw, Im on FB

Lissie (moutain dwelling TV family with an eldest called John Boy)

i think i shall be in here more often, i dont belong anywhere else! the temp thing is so frustrating. my cons is a nobber who thinks that heparin is the way forward. all i have to do is start injections at 7w after my scan. not much use when i mc at 5-6w though. and i KNOW there is nowt wrong with my blood. its my body treating the baby as an infection. not rocket science, and i dont get £70,000pa. I was ready to stop a while back but dh wanted to carry on. it does sound like you have reached a sort of plateau.

BT ikwym, its really hard to talk to others about it. i think the hut is a very special place x

it's nice to hear from you lissie albeit in the hut. sorry you are having such a rough time again.

your post makes such a lot of sense galway as i said before we were perfectly at peace with not ttc and quite successfully and happily moving on. this took us a bit by surprise, and whilst i am gutted for another loss, i don't feel like rushing to ttc again. our age gap would now be hugely bigger than we ever imagined but what will be will be. we also have talked about contraception but haven't come to any firm conclusion yet; can't be arsed to talk about it again yet.

at the risk of sounding soppy

Lissie - the high temperature co-inciding with every pregnancy is not a coincidence, it can't be. Why won't someone listen to you? Sorry that probrably is not very helpful for you. I know you have tried a number of things, have they let you try prednisolone or profolactic antibiotics??? Oh I just feel so frustrated for you. I am sorry that depression has hit too, that you can do without on top of everything else. I hope that you are able to vent soon here, and use the hut as needed. i think of you often.

As for me, well I have decided to stop, but my dh is not quite there yet. I think he saw how much I was willing to go through, and thinks that this is just a momentary change of heart on my part, so is asking me not to do anything radical yet. I was all ready to go back on the pill and book him for the snip (which he has finally agreed he will do!). However last month I did not go get the pill (not so bad as I have ended up on antibiotics again!), but dh was a bit useless with the condoms, so I have to discuss with him again; when and what we do about contracteption for real. I really did not expect to get to the place of being at peace with not ttc, it feels a bit weird still at the moment. But everytime I see a pregnant woman, I think "poor thing how uncomfortable at that stage" and when I see a baby I think "I wouldn't want to be back with the sleepless nights again, and they grow so fast that I can do without it".

I know this sounds wierd to me even in my head, but I have realised that my dream of children being close in age is no longer possible, even if I were pregnant right now the age gap would now be over 3 years, also I would be giving birth at the age of 43, did not want children after I was 40! So it is time for me to see my family as what it is - complete.

I know you are not in the same position, and I realise that I am truely blessed. But I do hope and pray that you get your dream, and that your family becomes what you want so that you too can have peace. (sorry if that sounds a bit soppy, but I really do care about you!)

broccolli, im so, so sorry. what shitty news.

galwaygirl, i admire you for being able to make that decision, what now? are you actively stopping?

as for me, i have been too depressed for even the hut. started an ill-advised thread ranting about katie prices IVF treatment and was accused of being a martyr to ttc, back on ADs have a ons appt next month. feel utterly wretched about the whole thing. think i was up the spout last month, but heavy period and high temp a week after my period was due. cest la vie.

broccolitrees - thinking of you. Sorry i did not see your earlier post.

I have actually stopped ttc, and unbelievably I feel totally happy with it. My dream family and age-gaps etc, have gone forever, and the more I thought about it, once the dream had ended, it did not feel as bad. I am trying to work on other things on my life now and seeing where it all leads to.

Lissie - are you ok?

Rowing - can you update on where you are at?

anyone else........

surprise surprise.
had scan, could see pregnancy but there was no heartbeat. all over. again

just thought i would come and sit in here for a little while, if that's okay.
have got terrible pains and spotting heavier. unable to get hold of obstetrician's secretary got some other unhelpful person so have gp appt this pm. early scan not til wednesday unless gp sends me urgently

how is everyone else? it is very quiet round here. hope that means that everyone is much happier, for whatever reason.

thanks galway this is the furthest i have got in a very long time and i knew that i could come here because people would understand !

broccolitrees - sorry about the grinning, most un hut-like, but so pleased for you. Hope that it all gets better and better!

i had to search to find you all....
well as you will notice it is about 5 weeks since i last posted but this time i have a definitive bfp!!!!!!!!!

i can't quite believe it
i can't get hold of dh
i can't tell anyone
i have managed to get hold of my consultant's secretary and have an early scan booked for a fortnight
i am sh1t-ing myself

i have such a long way to go on this. another 35 weeks is a long time to get through

i have cramp and had a dubious discharge last night....

sorry for the self-absorbed post, i am not sure what to do with myself

broccoli, , sorry to have your brief raising of hopes dashed cruelly again. Thank you for the wine and chocs, if you need to come and have a moan in the next few days, plesae come back to see us sooner, it is good to hear from you.

Sorry Broccoli!
[munches choc]

i knew posting on here would sort things out
well, whatever it was, it isn't, but hey ho, would have been a bit of a shock really anyway, as we really are trying to move on and were doing quite well...
hope everyone else is ok; i do look in from time to time to see how you all are
take care sm x

Hi all
Broccoli fingers crossed for you. Holding breath!

Hi there broccolitrees, galway was rainb*w-days in her former life and before that... well, I should not namechange so often, but I keep posting things here that reveal me in RL, so keep trying to change it! I hope that the line gets darker and stays that way for 9 months or so for you. The hut is here for the tenseness of the next few weeks for you.

hello all
hope you are all well. lissie who do you post under these days? galway, who would i know you as? obviously, you don't have to answer those questions outright as there's probably a reason for the namechange, but can i have a clue

an old hutter here under a new name (was previously sm, but had rather serious outing so had to use a new one), that had managed to leave... that is until, i am late and think i can see the second blue line.. it is there to my practised eye anyway and it's definitely blue as opposed to grey evap BUT it is REALLY faint, even i have to concede that. i thought that by posting on here the red witch would turn up with vengence, and put me out of the misery that is the unknown. even if the line gets stronger, i am by no means through the woods...

Hi all,
Galway have you had your test results back yet? I did see you on the forties thread, but I couldn't see anything about the test, it's quite busy on there.

I have just come back from having the smear and STD tests which I will need to produce for the clinic when I go over. The timing is a bit rubbish and I'm not sure if I will have the tests back before travelling so will probably have to delay the embryo transfer.
My immune type tests are at the end of the month, I think, if the doctor agrees to do them or not....

rowing, it is strange how we just plod along doing all the different tests that doc's suggest, when we don't really care about them. I am so not wanting the results of my AMH test, but don't have to think about it yet as my appointment is not til the end of november anyway. Anyway hope that things work out with your next ivf. How is the cycing going?

Hi all,

Galway, I don't know how I'm going to handle the issue of biological parents, but, if it works, I will have nine months plus to think about it.

If you aren't pg is there any need to continue with the progesterone, you don't need any help in maturing the the endometrium or supporting a foetus?

I have received a letter for another consultation about the failed IVFs. This is with my local reproductive and endocrine clinic. I'm not sure what they will do, but it could be immune tests. [shrugs]
Not really in the mood to have any more needles poked in my arm, but oh well...

rowing, good to hear your cycle is getting better. I admire you going for donor embryo, I am not sure I could do it as I would always wonder who the biological parents are, but that is just me. Even if I went for adoption I think I would only consider an open adoption, is that weird??

I am wondering when to stop my progesterone this month, as I know I am not pregnant this time. Lissie - did you get instructions on when to stop taking progesterone in a cycle?

hairy - how are you feeling at the moment, any clearer on appointments etc?