Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!!!!!!!!

Chubbymummy is still NOT pregnant and probably never will be so stop asking her, it really isn't helping!!!!!!!!

Chubbymummy doesn't want to hear how stressfull you find looking after your toddler and your new baby, you want to think yourself lucky you ungratefull cow!!!!!!!!

Chubbymummy is sick of hearing people moan about how fat and pregnant they are when I'm just plain fat and desperate to be pregnant!!!!!!

Chubbymummy has wasted most of her wages on pre-seed, ovulation sticks and pregnancy tests again this month with nothing to show for it!!!!!!!!

Chubbymummy just wants to go to sleep but has to summon up the energy to have sex yet again tonight because if she doesn't she could miss the fertile window!!!!!!!

Chubbymummy has been reduced to tears for the third time this month hearing peoples birth announcements when her much wanted baby would have been born around this time too.

Thandeka is not going to be able to sleep very well tonight because she is anxious to hear about Paddington's adventures with urine...... Thandeka wants to add suitable crappy pants pun into this excretion related status update but is upset she can't think of one.

Fertilityfriend is great (but the early pregnancy signs indicator is EVIL so don't pay for the VIP access- if you do you can get it and although you can turn it off I never have the willpower to keep it off and find myself thinking "oooh was that a headache- lets put it in and see what happens to my score- oh it lowered it. Actually it wasn't a headache- oooh but I need the loo better tick the frequent urination box!" Evil I tell you. sigh)

Thandeka is still trying to acquire morning sickness as that may mean this time it won't end up down the loo. But unfortunately despite heated discussions about foul smelling discharge on another thread - not even a retch to be had

paddington is crapping her pants about the morning test and resolves if this one is negative it means war! I will get pregnant and i will not take no for an answer.
... I will also take job hunting more seriously as babies and pregnant people seriously doing my head in

I totally agree with you both thankeda and tigress twoweekwait scared me! i will try the fertility friend thing though for a laugh- why not!

tigress i spend too much time on here too. I also am not going to a baby shower because i dont want to around happy oh im about to give birth people. Yet another person told me she was pregnant today and another is going to be induced tomorrow. (Sobs to one's self)

I also love this thread!

Paddington is dreading poas in the morning has her digital one all ready how depressing. Feel tired and bit headachy
This is so awfully hard!

Thandeka realises to her horror that Tigress is right - last thing at night before she went to sleep she was on mumsnet and here she is again first thing in the morning! It's an addiction I tell ya!

Thandeka has just looked at a shewee website and thinks its a step too far! (for glasto y'see!)

Thandeka looked at the twoweekwait website because Tigresswoods did and scuttles back to the relative safety and sanity of mumsnet!

Thandeka says to Hoops if you are come find us on the "4weeks and bricking it" thread lots of tears, fears and support.

Thandeka says to Paddington- knicker watching is acceptable- knicker sniffing isn't. (There is a evil device on fertility friend where you stick in all your early symptoms and it gives you a score out of 100 that tells you how likely it is you are pregnant. Evil! I get scores in the 80's whether am pregnant or not)

Paddington thinks she too is also amazed by her control on the poas situation. however knicker watch is constant.

Paddington is in a right state as she has just visited for the first time www.twoweekwait.co.uk website has been symptom spotting bad times!

hoops is hoping that she actually pg but dreading it if she is!!

Thandeka is incredibly impressed at Paddingtons self control in the POAS department!

paddington got through today and does not know how!

Paddington is also now testing wednesday as she cant quite bear the thought of another negative quite yet. As it is also digital it will be there in plain black and white.

paddington also her needles and fingers crossed for thankeda

Sorry, have also just noticed which topic this thread is in .

< duchesse backs out shame-faced >

Sorry, paddington, have just read your post; if it's any consolation this baby has been 6 years in the making.

Duchesse is very happily 29 weeks pregnant and feeling utterly idle.

(I don't want any of my clients knowing am going to have a baby to contend as well as their documents).

Thandeka is at work trying and failing not to have a stressful one, wishing she could get signed off til the end of term so she is past the MC dangerzone.

Thandeka is also keeping fingers crossed for paddington21 for tommorrow.

Is dreading work tomorrow: pregnant people everywhere who just so easily got pregnant! And having people who had babies just to dump off on her so they can go back to their high flying careers!

Paddington will smile sweetly all day while burning a rage inside

Paddington is also knitting a bubble for Thandeka and has her knitting needles crossed for her.

Paddington is thinking tuesday is a long time to wait to take another test.

Paddington is also thinking is it actually possible that she could be pregnant... oh no wait life couldnt be that easy!

Thandeka's career is teaching young people how NOT to get pregnant and is very tempted to tell them- ack sometimes its so much harder than it looks so don't worry about contraception. Could be a job dealbreaker though!

Thandeka also feels better since the lovely mumsnetters are being so kind. (But Thandeka can't mention mumsnet on her RL FB status page as currently she isn't a mum and therefore people would ask nosey questions).

lissie is terrified that she isn't pg, after all, if she cant get up the stick with 5 mature eggs then she may as well just give her womb to medical research.

lissie is holding thandeka's hand reassuringly

lissie is also wondering why she bothered wasting money on condoms and time on the pill for so many years.

"BelBel can't believe she spent 14 years trying not to get pregnant."

Heh. You know, I thought exactly the same thing! Made me giggle.

thinks Thandeka will be just fine, and in 8 months time will be holding a little bundle of joy!!!!

Thandeka wants to hide from the world for the next 8 weeks as she is convinced it won't work again as it is way too soon after MMC.

Thandeka is knitting a bubble to live in for the next 8 weeks and is grateful to Paddington for showing her how to cast if off (hermetically seal it).