Anyone want to join me in a waiting to conceive thread ? Anyone else really broody but can't TTC yet ?

LOL HM - you need some sort of locked box under the floorboards.. hmm.. may make taking the daily FA difficult though! How about putting your FA into a Vit C bottle or something?

Welcome Ario,

I'd suspect a lot of couples just to give up the contraception and hope for a baby. However everyone is different, so there isn't a wrong way or a right way. I suspect when you talk to your SO you'll have a much better idea what you both want and feel comfortable with. I know how frustrating it is though when waiting to talk about it.

My news this morning is that my mother is apparently coming over to visit. She lives overseas and so will be in the UK for a several weeks. Luckily she won't be staying with us the whole time, but she makes herself at home while here. This means I need much better hiding places for those baby books and tablets.

I'm leaning towards hiding them in my husband's underpants drawer, but that's assuming she won't try and put the laundry away!

Thank you WH

Hi Ario, welcome!

Your OH sounds a lot like my DH - he takes a long time to process stuff too, and often I find it easiest to 'plant a thought seed' as it were and let him mull over it!! I've been broody for about 5 years and DH has always said he wanted kids 'at some point', but we've been doing things like buying a flat and getting married so have had other project to take my mind off it! Plus, I really didn't want to rush DH. And then in Nov last year he asked me when I felt we should start trying, which of course has given me license to become baby-crazy! We've decided not to start TTC until July because of a long haul flight at the end of the year that I need to be able to fly on, but I can't wait. You might be surprised when speaking to him - he might have a more definite timeframe in mind than you expect. Plus, def important to be thinking about FA etc now. Anyway, long rambling post - welcome!

HM and CITC - so sorry to hear about your med probs. Try to keep smiling

Thanks Medee. It's not that I don't feel I can talk to him about it - I just wanted to work out my own thoughts before we have a proper talk. He's brought it up several times recently in a way that suggests he wants to discuss it but I was quite surprised and taken off guard so wanted to sort my own feelings out first. He's someone who always thinks about things for a long time and has his feelings very carefully worked out before he says anything at all, so if he's beginning to mention it he's probably thought about it quite carefully already. I'm fairly sure we'll have this talk quite soon after he gets back next week. I think he would quite like us to just get progressively more 'careless' and then pretend to be surprised if it happened! But I'd rather be a little bit more organised than that, especially because I'm aware of folic acid and things.

Hi Ario

the broodiness came on us gradually, but last year we reached a point where we said we definitely would this year, and I took a definite decision at my last pill appointment, that this would be my last 6 month prescription. So we are planning - taking extra vitamins, saving to cover maternity leave, etc, but that is the kind of people we are. I wouldn't want to get pregnant by accident - have spent all my adult life doing everything to avoid that - though am now in a place if it happened accidentally it would be OK.

I think if you can't quite talk to him yet about what you want, and you yourself want time to think about it, I'd carry on with the contraception. That way when you start you go into it with both eyes open, can start taking the folic acid etc, and know what each other expects from parenthood and your future relationship (I'm not suggesting I know how a baby will affect ours, but I know it will in some way and I also know we are strong enough to survive it.)

Perhaps moving in together might be step 1?

Hello all, I hope you don't mind me joining in and asking a few questions. My boyfriend has recently started saying various things that imply that he's been thinking about starting a family (for instance, we've been a bit careless a couple of times recently and he's made it fairly clear that he would be quite pleased if I had turned out to be pregnant). I haven't had a proper conversation with him about it yet because I wanted to think it through a bit first; but actually I am quite keen. I've been sure since we met that I would like to have children with him, and after a rocky first year or so due to difficult circumstances things are now going very well. We don't live together, which is a bit unconventional I know, but he's a lot older than me which probably means we've both had it in mind from earlier than would otherwise have been the case.

You all seem very organised though! Do you think most people have a very definite "now we are trying to conceive" moment, or do you think it's quite common just to get gradually more careless with contraception or abandon it altogether without quite admitting that you are definitely trying? I feel it might be hard to have a definite 'moment' when you begin in case it takes a while. I know my cycle well (I've charted for years because I'm quite irregular and I like to know when my period's going to turn up!) but I'm not sure whether him being a lot older is likely to make it harder (he's 49).

I can't really talk to anyone about this yet, and he's away this week so I can't talk it over with him yet either, but I'm so distracted thinking about it all! Any thoughts or advice would be really welcome.

Hi HoumousMonster, no the medication I'm on isn't time release, but it did feel as though I was experiencing side effects and withdrawl. Maybe if I'd stuck with the decreased dose it would have sorted itself out but, I just didn't want to feel like that any longer. I'm now almost back to where I was before the reduction and feeling much better. I'm going to leave it a couple of weeks, then see my GP and discuss reducing the meds by a lesser amount.

I'm sure I'll pop back from time to time to see how you are all getting on, I just won't have much of a 'plan' myself for a while.

Surprisingly, I'm feeling ok about it all. I think I've been broody for so long now (with different obstacles such as finances, work and health) that, I've become even more patient - which can only be a good thing, particularly as a prospective parent!

Hey Claire, I'm sorry to hear that your medication is causing trouble. I hope you won't be leaving all together as I'm sure there are other things to talk about still.

Just a quick question...the medication you are taking. It doesn't happen to be a time release on does it?

I only ask as you said you were getting the same effects as when you started it. I've had doctors try and cut my time release medication with a smaller does of the normal stuff.

I won't explain it all as it's not likely to apply, but the end effect is you get both side effects AND withdrawl effects. It's great fun!

Hello everyone, I thought I should let you know whats been happening with me. I found decreasing my dose of medication rather difficult and started getting the side effects that I first got whilst taking them. So I've decided to go back to the dose I was on for a while longer and rethink decreasing the dose (by a lesser amount) once I'm back to how I was before, IYSWIM?. I'm trying to be philosophical and realistic about it but it does put our TTC plans back quite a bit longer.

I wish you all luck with your plans and hope that when I'm ready to join you again, you will have all graduated to the pregnancy threads!

Sorry, it's just turned into a really rubbish week. The party was surviveable, though there were even more babies than I expected.

I think spacecadet has it right, while neither of these were accidental pregnancies there are additional circumstances which makes it frustrating. It's thrown me back into wondering if it's really a good idea to have a baby or not.

Also now that the family favourites are having another baby I'm worried there won't be any family support.

I got my results back from the doctor and as expected my iron was low so I've now got iron tablets as well as my pre-vits.

I'm going to continue taking tablets and things, but I really feel like someone has taken all the wind out of my sails. Sorry to be Moaning Myrtal.

I've been on the FA for a month or so - so will have been taking it for about 5 months when we start TTC - I figured it was good to get into the routine, and interestingly (although possibly this is psychosomatic) my manic PMS seems to have calmed down. Lucky DH - I'm sure it will all come back with a vengeance when/if I get pregnant!!

HM - good luck for your docs appt tomorrow!

Just responded to your post on the other thread Medee, think I'll do the same as you though (when I get to 3 months before TTC that is - I've been put back at least a month).

Started the Folic Acid today, as it's just under 3 months till I come off the pill.

HM, sorry about the family pregnancies etc - of course it's hard because you are happy for them but at the same time it rubs in how you want what they have. Whenever I hear of someone getting pregnant accidentally a part of me thinks 'That's not fair, why do I have to think and plan and wait while they just go out and get it' but of course these sentiments can't be expressed!

For me, I've been and bought some Sanatogen Pronatal - 3 for 2 at Boots so I bought 3x90 tab packs which will keep me going a long time - hopefully I will be pregnant before I have to buy more (gives me 6 months after starting to TTC) which is a nice thought!

Keep strong all, we will get there in the end!

HM - keep your chin up, I know it's tough, and completely understand where you're coming from. But just think - it's great that the KS's are gone, so that's one hurdle over. Keep smiling, and come back to us MN's if you need a virtual shoulder to cry on!

HoumousMonster, since I've been broody, there have been pregnant women and babies everywhere! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow I've taken to laughing now everytime somebody announces they are pregnant - It's getting beyond a joke though!

I have the worst timing on earth. The kidney stones are gone I'm actually starting to act towards getting pregnant so it's taking a while to get my head around these changes...

And today both my sister-in-law & my husband's cousin announce they are both 8 weeks pregnant!

I mean I'm happy for them, but that means I get to spend tomorrow with the whole family gushing over their 18 month-olds while exclaiming over them both being pregnant.

2 babies, 2 pregnancies for a whole evening...I'm not sure I can keep a strong face on for that long. Another few weeks and I'd be settled into a routine but in the midst of all this upheaval it's hard.

(Also had a phone call from the doctor & I now have an appointment Wednesday. As expected my iron is low but apparently there is also something about Calcium and Cholesterol.)

HoumousMonster - You are, of course, absolutely right 'trying' now is in no way going to make my chances of conceiving greater later, just trying to justify it I think! Have decided I need to be sensible and wait to ttc until Aug in hope of spring baby too.

DS1 will be doing his gcse's next may so I really want to be available for him when he is sitting on his xbox/laptop for hours revising for them, although he looked at me witheringly this morning when I suggested I help him with his maths homework, saying 'mum, you could'nt even do my homework when I was in year 7.....' Hmmm true but just wanted to show willing. DS3 appeared to be descended from satan until he was about 20 weeks so don't want to risk another whilst trying to get head round gcse's.

Fantastic news about your kidney stones, maybe you ll be going for an early spring baby???

claireinthecommunity - Thanks, love your name, good news about reducing your meds but understandably frustrating that it might take a bit longer. Good advice if you are waiting for your first, savour those lie ins the sleep deprivation is torturous. I have absolutely no common sense hence my chaotic life which I am intending to make even more mad!

HoumousMonster, that's great news about your kidney stones I hope the results of your blood test are such good news too. Sounds as though we've both been given one extra month, as you said it gives you more time to get things in place (that's how I'm trying to see things anyway - positively that is!)

I'm glad to hear you'll be able to reduce the medication Claire! The extra month is frustrating, but I'll cross my fingers for you and hope things go faster!

I'm utterly rubbish at reducing medications. I get all the side effects going on them and off them. In the end I just asked the doctor if I could drop them cold turkey as I can handle one hellish week much better than a month of being miserable. I've been luckly so far and always had medications I could do this with.

I also had my appointments yesterday. I had blood drawn in the morning, so now I'm just waiting for the results. And in the afternoon I waited 3 hours to discover my kidney stones are gone! (Which also means I didn't need the dredded treatment!)

In a way this gains me an extra month to get in shape, fix my diet a bit better and sort out a few other technical hitches. I also started my pre-vits yesterday. Unfortunately it's lifted a barrier so now I'm a bit more impatient. (There is no possibility of getting pregnant when you have loads of xrays scheduled.)

Mostly though I'm hoping I will start to relax a bit more now. Less stress would probably be a good thing.

My tip for helping the time to go by while you're waiting to TTC, is to be aware of the things you can do now pre-baby (if this is your first) that will become more difficult to do after a baby arrives. Such as spontaneous trips out, late nights and lay-ins I know there will probably be lots of late nights when a baby does arrive though! I suppose it's the old cliche of not wishing the time away and enjoying each day as it comes, difficult if you're desperate for a baby. I'm just trying to enjoy this time with me and DH and looking forward to when we eventually do have children.

Lexilou, so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It does sound as though you have got a lot on, I don't know if I could do all that with three children let alone four! Common sense has stopped my DH and I from TTC for the last couple of years and now I need to come off of some meds before we can. I'll be here for a while

Hello everyone, welcome lexilou

I had an appointment today with my GP, we discussed reducing some medication that I'm currently taking with a view to coming off of them completely (It's not recommended that I fall pregnant whilst taking them) The good news is we have reduced the amount I'll be taking, the bad news is it may take a little longer than I was hoping to come off them completely Actually, only 1 extra month but I'm sure you'll all understand that's 1 month longer to wait to TTC (and it could take longer, depending on how things go) I'm quite philosophical about it though, at least any extra months to wait will give us more time to save and prepare the little room!

Practice makes perfect they say!!

So.. any advice on how to make the next 3 months and 11 days go faster?? Hmm, if I'm this impatient to TTC, I'm gonna be awful if I get preggers!!

Thanks for the welcome all. Am soooo looking forward to the hol, not just for TTCing although that is a benefit . As it's 11 nights we hope it will fall during OV, fertility friend says it will although obviously even with a well behaved 28 day cycle like mine there is no guarantees so far in advance! If it doesn't quite work out we'll just get some practice in