July/August baby threads, where are you now? Wishing, Sunnydale, Homeinthesun, Headfairy, Bubble, etc..

Hi all, just catching up (with work and MN...) I can't possibly do a weeks worth of posting, and would probably forget someone and mortally offend them, my particular speciality! So in the spirit of the original idea for the thread I am just going to tell you all about my holiday...
My DB got v drunk on Monday and went to bed early, as he was supposed to be sleeping in the sitting room he crashed out on my bed... which we had to chuck him out of in order to BD... (we could NOT have done so in the sitting room!!) he was not a happy bunny. Managed again on Tuesday, then the catholic guilt/fatigue took over. Tuesday we did a murder mystery for my dads b'day, which he messed up by playing a bit of the tape too early and telling us all who the murderer was... doh. It rained pretty much all the time, my mum kept going on about how she thinks my DB is an alcholic and I spent all day Thurs driving around trying to find a water slide pool to no avail... Apart from that it was great!

so well into 2ww now...

will just say a quick to jumping... can't imagine what is going through your head, hope it all works out. and blue really, really hope everything goes well for you this time. head glad to hear all is well with you, and issy would feel bad about the MS but kind of inclined to see it as a positive really!

Hi to everyone else... goo dto catch up on your news!!

Sorry, also meant to say Jumping I'm so sorry your CVS was a non starter today.

Seems so cruel to think its going to happen and then realise that it isn't. I hope you find some distraction through work.

Afternoon all,

Just checked in to see how the scans went.

Head FAB news that all is well. I'm so happy for you.

Blue I can completely empathise with your feelings and fears. I know that if I manage to concieve again I will be exactly the same. It's partly for that reason that I had hypnotherapy a few months ago to make me feel positive about concieving and learn to relax generally. I found it very helpful as it also helped me to deal with the birth trauma I incurred having DS. I had so many negative feelings bound up around pregnancy and birth it was time to get rid. I still practise the relaxation now and put myself into a light hypnotic state. I find it very effective. Stress is inevitable when you are a parent and I find "scheduled" relaxtion times help.

I waffled a bit there sorry. I hope you (and think you will) find it helpful is what I am trying to say!

Sunny So sorry it wasn't to be this month. I will prob be joining you in the sad corner next week.

Bubble Inclined to agree with what the others have said about your ds's ages and how that may affect your decision to take them to Cyprus separately. Can definitely see that it could be presented very positvely as special time if they are the right age.

Irish still feeling thunderous? I lapse into occasional dark moments. It's worse when I spend a lot of time alone if dh is away with work. I strongly feel however that I am bloody well entitled to the odd black mood given my still relatively recent mc and the fact that every third day somebody else I know announces their pregnancy. I don't cry anymore but, well, as I said, I am entitled to brood occasionally. As are you.

Issy Sorry to hear the evil ms has kicked in. It totally sucks.

Hope all is well with everyone else. I am ok today, just doing all the usual stuff with DS. Monkey Music and shopping this morning followed by a hearty lunch, a walk, a snack (I know - how much can one small child eat?) and now, finally, a nap.

I am in 2WW hell. As Head so wittily set it out I am currently in the Head v Heart deadlock. I am CD22 and have a 28 day cycle so will know soon one way or another. My temps are higher than they were last month but this is only the 2nd month I've temped so I don't know if its significant. No other symptoms apart from faint nausea from time to time but I get that from general hormonal ups and downs so that isn't a big deal either.

sorry jumping meant to say thanks for your kind words. I am indeed relived, though like Blue I'm still not going to be totally relaxed until I've got through the first trimester (and even then i won't be happy until I've got my baby in my arms and everything is all right with the world!)

blue I'm so sorry those scans haven't been able to reassure you more. I hadn't realised you'd had them. I really ummed and ahhhed about even telling you lot as I had always vowed that I wouldn't tell anyone til I got to 12 weeks, but you know what? You really won't miscarry because you've talked about it to us or anyone else. The only reason we miscarry is because there's something wrong with the baby. And you really have no control over that. That in itself is an issue for me as I'm a total control freak, but I totally know what you mean about tempting fate.

Your mantra must now be... "talking abotu this will NOT cause a miscarriage". It's such a big burden to carry all on your own. It's great having dh/dp to offload on to sometimes, but you also need someone who has walked the exact same road as you to really understand.

You will get to 9+3 weeks, you will see a fabulous bouncy bean and you will be very happy about it. Keep telling yourself that over and over again.

Jumping I'm so sorry you couldn't have your cvs today, what a total pain in the neck. Of course it's right to be careful, but how frustrating for you after all that worry and sleeplessness. Can you find someone else to drive you there? It'll be so much easier having someone to talk to and take your mind off it. I only had to wait half an hour this morning on my own and my mind was going crazy. An hour and a half on a bus would have finished me off!

Good afternoon all

Head I am so delighted all is well with the bean! You must be so relieved

Sadly today was a no-go for me. They used the high definition scanner to check positions of everything prior to the CVS and found that the placenta is still a bit too close to the bowel so they'd rather wait a few more days in the hope the bowel is moved well out of the way (don't want to risk perforation!). Plus as I have only been off aspirin since last Thurs (which I'm on due to high risk of pre-eclampsia) they're a bit concerned about bleeding. Feel emotionally drained already, hardly slept last night and the disappointment that they couldn't do it today was pretty tough. Plus they printed out more pictures from the scan which I really can't deal with right now (they are hidden now by DH). So I'm back down again on Thursday, and will have to go alone as DH can't take any more time off work, and will have to travel via bus as won't be allowed to drive myself home apparently. Not helped too by hospital being 1.5 hours from home by car, so extends the trip a lot.

It is such a rollercoaster, I feel so exhausted already. The consultant warned me too that Thursday the bowel may still not have moved adequately so provisionally we may have to come back again the following Tues. Argh! Just want to close my eyes and sleep for a week

Blue I've been on aspirin this pregnancy and my last and it definitely causes some brown spotting- I've had it for about a day each time twice so far (will be 12 wks on Thurs). With my first non-aspirin pregnancy I never spotted at all and it does still freak me out, and I've been lucky enough not to mc previously, so no wonder it scares you. Really hope the hypnotherapy helps- my friend is a great believer in it.

Going to attempt to bury myself in work now, but my heart is not really in it.

I've had two already Head - one at 6+3 due to emotional meltdown and one at 7+2 due to brown discharge (which did show good growth and right for dates etc). Having another when I should be 9+3 but feel I'm tempting fate even writing this down - that's how stressed I am!

You know am I a loony as these forums are supposed to be for us to vent our fears but I get all stressed talking about my darkest fears so don't write about it for fear of tempting fate. I've been burned before and had to leave 2 x ante-natal threads and 1 x pg after mc thread so find myself keeping it all to myself which isn't healthy. I remember posting how I was asking for a reassurance scan at 9 weeks then mc the next week and feeling so and at myself for talking about it.

Hence the need for me to seek help!

Well if it's down to good lighting I want some of that lighting

I do so know what you mean about the fretting. the sonographer said I had about a 5-10% chance of mc now, which is a lot better than 25-30% but still not low enough for my liking. I thought if you saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks your risk went down to 2%. So I'm still frantically knicker checking. I hope the hypnotherapy does the trick chillwise. I'm still feeling very detached from this pregnancy on purpose... don't think I'll allow any more baby thoughts until I'm through at least 12 weeks if not 14.

I can't remember, have you been referred for an early scan to put your mind at rest? We're fortunate enough in that I can just self refer to the EPU here, but I would have thought if your GP has seen how stressed you are, enough to refer you for some therapy, then surely you qualify for a reassurance scan?

oh shucks Head - here you've got me all ! Let's just say the photos were carefully edited to show me in a (ahem) good light! Of course DS needs no such lighting as he is beuuutiful

I'm worried senseless about mc again. Can't help it, so need to reboot my brain. Have had several incidences of light brown discharge which just sets me off the richter scale even though I know taking asprin (as I am on back of consultant advice) can cause some slight bleeding.

Hopefully after tomorrow I will become all zen like and chilled... At £35 per session I bloody better be!

Blue I don't know why I haven't looked before, but I've just peeked at your profile. Wow you are gorgeous woman! And your ds is totally adorable, what amazing blue eyes. It's such a lovely picture of the two of you.

Just felt I had to say that... as you were

Thanks for the squeezy hand holding Blue. so sorry you've been so stressed. I hope the hypnotherapy helps. Are you worried about miscarrying or are you being worn down by the ms which is causing you to get stressed? Either way, I do hope the hypnotherapy helps.

oh Head that is just lovely news , so delighted for you and your DH. I will continue to squeeze your hand until mid June though just to be on the safe side .

Irish - embrace that foul mood, it makes you feel better .

I'm getting hypnotherapy tomorrow. I'm really struggling emotionally in general and physically with the ms. My doctor suggested it a few weeks back when I was hyperventilating all over him. i need some coping mechanisms as I can't help but 'prepare' myself for it all going wrong and its draining me. I've been throwing up three times a day and keep thinking how cruel it is to go through this only for it to go wrong anyway... I am in dire need of a positive mental attitude so its off to the shrink for me .

Anyhoo

Hello everyone, thanks so much for all your kind thoughts. They obviously did the trick as I got to see my little bean today, all present and correct, the right size, good strong heartbeat and looking good. I'm so relieved I can't begin to tell you. The poor thing has been flooded with adrenaline all morning and I think is now getting flooded with seratonin or something. The sonographer did say that I still have about a 5-10% chance of mc, but I'll take those odds for now. They're so lovely at the EPU, told me to come back in any time and have another scan just for reassurance, so I'm quite tempted to pop back in a couple of weeks.

Sunny I'm sorry af showed up. I'm v impressed at your positive attitude.

Irish sorry to hear you're in a black mood, I hope it lifts soon. I find large quantities of chocolate help in these dire emergencies

Jumping I hope the cvs went ok and wasn't too uncomfortable. Take it easy and rest up. Hopefully the next five days won't be too agonising.

Hello to everyone else... have a lovely day, I will be lurking around as ds is at the cm today and I'm off with not a lot to do but potter and mnet!

at wasabi and nearly everything crossed -

Sunny sorry AF got you - but as you said there's a bright side to knowing it's reguilar.

Bubble my parents used to take different ohildren on holiday at different times. Now they had 9 kids and a shop that they couldn't leave unmanned so it made sense but even from a young age we were all told why and it was fine for us. HTH.

Head and Jumping hope you both are ok and that everything goes well. sending positive vibes your way - good luck.

I'm in a bit of a black mood today - not sure why but hopefully will snap out of it soon. The way I'm feeling I'd fight with a saint. - ah that's better think I needed to just say it.

Just a sneaky post at work to wish Head and Jumping all the best today. Sending lots of positive vibes xx

Sunny - sorry TEW showed up - she is a right cow. I couldn't watch any of the 'children in care' dramas that have been on as just end up crying and feeling helpless for them all . I'm such a woos wince I had DS.

Just a quickie for me as am cream crackered and off to bed but just wanted to wish Jumping and Head all the very best for tomorrow.

Well, nearly everything.

Hello All
Jelly, good luck for tomorrow - I've had a CVS and it's fine - the thought of it is much worse than the actual procedure itself. It is honestly over in a second - it's just the build up that feels scary. You'll feel so relieved when it's over. Thinking of you.

Head, thinking of you too - it WILL be fine. It WILL. Thanks also for your funny post about always thinking you're pg. I'm glad I'm not alone on that one! It really cheered me up, because of course AF arrived in full effect on Saturday morning. LOL at my "convinced... almost on a cellular level" post on Friday night. Say what?! What a silly woman I am. Very gutted but no point being blue about it - that won't get me pg, will it! Am trying to look on bright side: at least AF is regular, which is something I suppose.

Bubble, it's not wrong coz your motives are pure - you are just trying to appease your aunt and uncle, after all. How old are your DS's? Maybe it might even be nicer, or more special, for them each to go individually with you? You could even draw straws to see who goes first? (realise this may not be practical, depending on their ages). Have a lovely hols anyway.

Hello to everyone else. Am watching that Samantha Morton drama - not exactly cheerful viewing but v interesting all the same.

Hi everyone.... jumping a billion good luck wishes for tomorrow and the outcome. I do so hope everything's ok. Take it easy and try and enjoy your enforced relaxation afterwards, pretty impossible not to think about it, but I hope you can find something to occupy your mind until the results come through. I hope we both have happy outcomes tomorrow.

Bubble - I'm glad you're not in pain any more, I hope af shows herself soon enough. Thanks for your kind message. I'm so flipping nervous now it's not true. I'm sitting here at work all weekend with not a lot to do and trying not to think about it. On the positive side, I've just applied for a job I can't possibly do pregnant, so Sod's law means it'll all be ok.

WRT Cyprus... remind me again of the ages of your ds's? If ds2 is old enough to understand will he appreciate the problem? Can you promise him a lovely day out to a place of his choosing just for him when you come back (as well as the trip next year)?

I'm off to twiddle my thumbs and not think about you know what... Perhaps I can apply for a firefighters job or something

Have a good Sunday everyone xxxx

jumping i will be thinking of you tomorrow. Im keeping everything crossed that all goes well and the reults are good news.

HF Not long now!! 1 more sleep (as ds1 puts it) Im sure everything will be fine. I will be waiting here tomorrow to hear the news

not in pain anymore but AF hasnt shown up either.

Wanted to ask your opinions....

I wanted to go and visit my aunt for a week in cyprus. I usually go alone and have a relaxing time but this year i thought i would take ds1 and next year ds2

Do you think its wrong not taking both at the same time?

DH wouldnt be coming anyway and is capable of looking after ds2 but i am just worrying that its not fair.

my aunt and uncle dont have kids of their own and arent understanding to mess and noise so thought 1 of the boys at a time wouldnt be too intrusive??? (They arent ogres just set in their ways i guess )

Hi everyone

Head good, good luck for the scan tomorrow- I am sure everything will be fine, but will be thinking of you.

wasabi welcome back! My sister and I are taking my Mum to the Cotswolds for a weekend in July, I've never been but it looks soooo beautiful. Hope you are feeling re-energised and positive upon your return, even with the work hanging over you!

issy so glad you're still getting ther BFPs!! Welcome to the joys of the first trimester! Still of course keeping all crossed for you & the beans xx

irish hope you managed to find some energy to commence the BDing marathon!

sunny like HF we used to try to BD every day over my fertile period (although wasn't entirely sure when that was) but all my BFPs have come from the months when we didn't time anything but had sex at least every 2 days over the cycle (and tried to have "gourmet" non-babymaking style sex iykwim!). As hard as it is, I do think it's the cycles when you're the most chilled out/forgetful about TTC that seem to be most successful, as infuriating as that is!

Blue how are you holding up with the sickness?

Bubble how are you feeling today? I really hope the pain stays away and something happens soon. Keep focusing on your hols, I'm sure they'll do you a wonder of good.

Well quite a lot has happened here. Went down to the hospital on Thurs and they sent me in to see my consultant's registrar to review me- she scanned me straightaway as said that bean is definitely 11 weeks, not 10 (going by both size and development). She was then concerned that the CVS date was later than it needs to be, since they can do them from 11 weeks. Cue much talking on phone to consultant who'll do the CVS and him coming down to meet me. Basically they decided they'll give it a go tomorrow . I am in many ways very relieved it's sooner than the 29th, but now also terrified. He did say there's a slim chance my bowel may not have moved out of the way yet in which case he'd postpone it back to the 29th but he won't know until he tries, and he's fairly hopeful. The genetics results will then be back on either friday or tuesday following (5 working days, darn the bank holiday monday!). So perhaps within a week I will now what the future holds for this pregnancy. The reality is hitting quite badly now and I'm finding it hard to sleep etc...but so glad the decisions will be made within the next 10 days.
We've had DH's parents staying up this weekend as it's the NorthWest 200 (motorbike racing) and I am finding it so hard to keep all this from them, especially as v nauseous at the mo and swear my boobs are much, much bigger already... Plus tomorrow's events are very much playing on my mind. At least it won't be much longer hopefully until this waiting & secrecy is over.

I have to rest for the following 48hrs after the test so won't be back online (at work!) until Wednesday but will of course keep you posted and thank you so much for your support on our journey so far.

Love to you all xxxx

Hello everyone... well another weekend at work for me Still, only got the rest of today and tomorrow and then I'm off for two weeks! yipeeeee! Still, tonight's going to be a bugger, we're not on until after the Eurovision song contest so I'm going to be here all night if it over runs

Thanks for kind words bubble - so sorry this has all been so trying for you, I hope your cry and offload to your mum helped. It always works for me. She gave you some good advice there, I hope you have a lovely holiday.

sunny you don't have to worry about being wrong about being pg or not to us, we've all done it. If I had a pound for every month I was convinced I was pg... well I'd at least be able to get myself a slap up meal Oh and if it helps I've done it every month even the ones when I was pg....

HFs heart: "you're definitely pg, sore boobs - check, bloating - check, tired - check..."

HFs head: "don't be so bloody stupid, you do this every month, put us through agony convincing us, and really it's just af on her way"

HFs heart: "no but honestly, this time it's different..."

HFs head: "yadda yadda yadda"

I have had the occasional bout of ms, but I've had a stomach bug ds thoughtfully passed on to me, terrible runs, so it's been hard to discern which is which. I didn't have masses of nausea with ds, just the odd bout accompanied by rampant hunger! I do have nipples the size of organ stops though They're permenantly erect so I think I'm sending very confusing messages to the chaps at work

Issy I hope the ms isn't too awful. It's worth it though, just think ms=lots of lovely pregnancy hormones! I always had panics when I was pg with ds, I used to think Oh my God I don't feel sick any more, what if I'm about to mc... then I'd be gagging ten minutes later - which would shut me up I'm also tempted to do more tests and see if the line is still really dark.... I have to confess to doing one at about 6 weeks and 4 days. After my little bleed. Very dark line appeared immediately. That did reassure me but I'm still counting the hours, minutes and seconds to Monday morning. I'll be the first in the queue, banging on the door at 7am

Hello to everyone else... hope you're all well. Have a good weekend xx

Hi everyone!

Hf wishing you all the luck in the world that scan goes well.

issy when is your viability scan?

irish good luck with the bd marathon that awaits

How is everyone else?

doing anything nice this weekend?

Well.. thurs morn i had a bit of a wobble.. started crying and blurted everything out to my mum. It was nice to get everything off my chest and get a hug afterwards. She said to just forget about it for a while and that i should go to the dr when i get back from our holdiay. Which is what i am going to do. still no AF and the cramps arent as bad as before so just going to wait and see what happens over the next few weeks.

Hello all
Thanks for all your good advice. Blue, completely agree with you about having AF rather than BFP then AF... which is precisely why I haven't tested yet. Tomorrow will be CD31, the day AF is due. Am toying with testing, but can't decide which is better: a potential BFN and an end to all this foolish imagining, or another weekend of indulgent dreaming and hoping. I mean, maybe this is as close as I'll ever get to another baby: dreaming and hoping. At least at this stage I have my dreams. A BFN will dash them to the ground. How silly do I sound? The thing is, I have already convinced myself - almost on a cellular level - that I'm PG. For a start, I don't have PMT: usually I feel murderous, but this cycle I feel happy and calm. I feel like there's something happening inside. Can you imagine how ridiculous I'm gonna feel when I turn out to be wrong? I know you'll all understand, though. I've not said a cheep to DH or anyone else in RL. Promise not to laugh at me when I post again with my BFN, okay?!
Issy, how many days PG are you now? Sorry about the MS. I didn't get it, so I don't really have any tips. I did used to feel queasy, but an oatcake sorted me out. Have you tried one in the morning?
Head, will be thinking of you on Monday. Do you have MS too? Anyone else?
Bubble, how did you get on at the dr? Hope he had some help to give you. And Irish, hope you're having fun with your DH. Happy Friday night to all - dunno about you, but I'm vv glad the weekend is here. Heck, I may even watch Eurovision tomorrow night (though not the same without Wogan)