Bonkers Anonymous-Bonkers, Bonked and Bonkers Babies all welcome and there are plenty of positive vibes and babydust for everyone!

Wow what a couple of days we have had here on Bonkers! I have been reading it but not really had time to post a proper response - but as it is, it has all been sorted and there have been some lovely posts that pretty much say it all. CE hope you aren't feeling bad about bringing it all into the open - I suspect it has been brewing for quite a while and it needed to be discussed so well done for being brave enough to do it I, for one, couldn't imagine MN without having you lot to discuss things with - it is so much more than a TTC thread as we discuss our older children aswell etc - so so glad it is all sorted

I know a couple of you have said you have been onto AN threads but found them bitchy etc. - am interested to know how/why/in what way? Both my AN/PN threads for both boys have been nothing but brill - full of supportive mums and not a bit of bitchiness in sight - have I just been lucky?

Well as we are discussing the subject of poo can I join in?? Yesterday Josh decided that he didn't want to wear a nappy - it has been coming for a while as he has started taking his nappy off. So I went with it even though it really was the last thing I needed yesterday! Not one wee accident - which was brill - but he did a mahoosive poo in his underpants [bleugh emoticon] Even worse, I took him upstairs to sort him out on the changing unit and without me knowing a huge chunk of poo dropped into the top drawer which was open - fortunately I saw it after I had finished cleaning up - can you imagine if I hadn't?? Back in nappies today though as I still don't think he is ready if he couldn't tell me he needed a poo or a wee....is this wrong? He didn't tell me he needed a wee yesterday either - it was just me asking him every 30 minutes or so and him saying yes, and sitting on the potty and weeing.

Dawni lol at the 'here mammy' comment - I bet you tell that to all his girlfriends

BSL for you but well done for managing to be happy for your friends, despite the circumstances - it shows you truly are a good friend. I can only imagine what you are going through

So much for Josh being better - these last 2 days he has been in such a 'contrary' mood - can't think how else to describe it. Not listening, refusing to do anything asked (he is usually quite obliging) etc. He does have a cold so I am hoping it is just because he is ill again rather than a personality change - he has 'done my head in' today!!

Ive reactivated my face book account, its just as confusing 2nd time around !!! Im really not fantastic with computers, i can manage the basics and shout for DH to do the rest

D xx

Hey Bluestar,

Sorry for Xposts!! Honey, you bloody be "me me me" if you want to (not that you are!!!), you have every right to be upset, I just wish (like we probably all do) that we could take this pain and worry away from you.

Dawni, you're not selfish at all, you're upset and you're worried!!

HC, must ask, who went out of Dancing on Ice last night? Also, sounds like I've got all this joy to come - potty-training hey... Talking of that, I must ask (I don't feel that I can ask my friend incase she gets offended), her daughter has just turned 6 years old and still wears nappies (pull-ups) at night. Is this at all usual?! When I spoke to my Mum about it, she said that the minute it was time to potty train us, she refused us nappies during the day AND at night and that worked very quickly for all 5 of us. Several soggy sheets I would imagine, but we all grasped it fairly quickly. Totally understand that every child is different and where some may excel at this, others may be slightly slower but faster to grasp other things like walking/talking, but is 6 years old a little extreme? I really don't know (can you tell?!).

Majormoo, sorry missed you out hun, hope you're doing Ok!!

xxx

Oh Bluestar sorry i forgot to post You were very brave hun, i would have crumpled. 2 Years is such a long time to wait, and i know you shouldnt have to go private, but for your own sanity, is it an option ???

D xx

DawnAS You are so right, i am often a little blinded by my own selfishness and i also have a short fuse, but i will tell you how i feel as i wear my heart on my sleeve, DH says i open my mouth and my brains fly out !!! I also dont always read things through properly, then get all het up and type before thinking
This thread is just amazing and it was HC who befriended me 1st on another thread and brought me to this one, for which i will be eternally greatful, she has also learned me so much over the months and has had great patients with me asking stupid questions. I am also a very paranoid person and think everything is my fault, and what i touch never turns to gold !! 'Jesus' you must be thinking im a real nutter !!!
Anyways....thats that and i really do love you girls to bits, warts and all as they say {sorry i went on} I would never cope without you girls and this thread to sound of to xx

HC Sorry hun but your DD2's pooping brought a smile to my face, i remember Michael toddling into the kitchen one day calling for me, when i looked around he had a poop in his hand, he looked at me with a big smile and said 'here mammy', so innocent xx

Gotta huge pile of ironing

Much love

D xx

Hello again,

Dawni, I think the important thing about close-knit threads like these, is that even when we do get BFPs, things don't always go according to plan and the wealth of experience on here, gives us the support to "see the wood for the trees". Several of us have been through MCs or worrying scan/test results, problems with new-borns or illness and everyone on here can now say that they are a little more informed than they once were. I have to say, that if it wasn't for HC, I wouldn't know anything about temping or CM or anything else, hell, I thought you BDd and hey presto - a baby - and I'm 34!! This thread has turned into so much more than a TTC thread. We can support TTCers, MCers, new mothers, problem babies AND toddlers and form fast friendships.

Your feelings are totally totally understandable and the nice thing is that you can be honest about them on here and no-one would ever judge you. You can be envious and sad for others BFPs, because we've all been there and even if we don't admit it, that is how we feel. And like with HC, when you get yours, there'll be tears of joy all around.

To the other extreme mums can come on and whinge about sleepless nights (this is a warning that I will do that - I like my 8 hours!!) or their naughty children without feeling guilty because they should be grateful that they have them. Everyone is different and everyone needs support and that is the one thing that each and every person on this thread provides.

So, Dawni, the bottom line is, wherever you guys are, that's where I'll be, even if we have to hop onto different threads at times if we want something more specific, this is the safe haven that we are all drawn back to...

I don't know whether this post has been more for your benefit or mine!! But I just wanted to put down in writing, what I've felt about all the ladies on here for some time.

I've now finished my cadbury's creme egg and really should get on with some work!! If I can find any.... things are a little quiet!!

Hugs and kisses to all the Bonkers ladies!!

xx

Hi guys,

I'm here...I'm here!! I'm not leaving...although with a two year wait for IVF I did wonder whether to take a sabatical! Esp as I've been so busy and distracted of late! But even if I'm not getting PG, I love you guys!!! So...we all have to stay! And PG ladies and ladies with babies and small people...guys - we really do want you to share! It's what we are all here for. Yes...sometimes it is hard. But I've missed hearing about growing bumps and funny PG stories (Dawn - the salsa story is funny! I think I would have cried though too and I'm not PG!! )

Anyhow I realise I am very late in posting this and it's all blown over...but I still wanted to say as a TTCer, I love having everyone around and hearing all the news!

Anyhow, my news is that after the bad news on Thursday, we went for dinner at our close friends on Friday...where they announced they were PG! I kinda had an idea and i was worried I'd burst into tears and leave...but I did really well. Both DH and I were pretty much knocked for 6 though. We had planned to stay over and get trashed with them, but I couldn't and we went home. Saturday I had an awful day...it was as though the realisation hit home.

The only way I can describe it, is like a massive sense of loss...your whole life you believe you will do the life thing...grow up, get a job, get marry, have children, watch them grow up and have families of their own. It's like your whole future (or at least how you'd pictured your future) is just wiped out.

Anyhow, I am still trying to process...yes private IVF might be an option (but I am angry that that's something we even have to consider frankly!).

Anyhow, I'm boring myself with the me me me!

I'm not going to try to do a catch up now...just will try to post more and hold hands with Dawni and BB and the other TTCers!

Bluestar x

good god women we cannot leave this thread!

I do realise there are times when it is hard when you are TTC and all you hear is baby talk. Something similar happened on the ARC email group I belong to but the resolution was still that everyone should stay on one email group. I remember when I had had my termination and was in limbo before I could try to get pregnant again, it was torture reading about the pregnancies on ARC but at the same time I still needed the email group for support

HC I was so glad DD is going back to school today. I am nackered!

Dawn-hope the kitchen is now salsa free.

Hi DawnAS Poor you, sounds funny now to read it but it certainly would'nt have been funny at the time, did'nt the dog want to lick it all up ?? Im afraid things got a bit out of hand at the weekend, hopefully we are all sorted now, i would hate for you all to leave to another thread, it has been a megga help for me in such low times through the month. I panicked at the thought of just a few of us TTCers being left, when all you ladies have a huge knowledge of all things womanly and keep me us sane and stop me us from going off the rails If you do start another thread, please dont leave here xx

D xx

Hey all,

I haven't been online all weekend so I was quite alarmed when I read the latest posts, I hope that everyone is feeling a little better now.

CE, well done for sticking your neck out hun, I think your suggestion was brilliant and frankly, I don't mind where I have to post, as long as we are all together!!

HC, a nice peaceful household for you today then hun?! Has the MS eased at all? Gosh, I can't believe you're over 8 weeks already - that is amazing!! I can't believe how time is flying!! Little Jelly is 25 weeks on Wednesday and is certainly making herself known.

MJIM, How's little Naomi been over the weekend? Is she sleeping a little better now? How are the colds?

Ceebee, oh lucky you!! I can only dream that Jelly will be as well-behaved as Sam!! How wonderful for you, especially now Josh has calmed down aswell - peace is reigning over Ceebee's house!!!

Belgiand and Dawni, I hope that you're both feeling a little better today.

Dawni, good on your DH for working through the pain, it must be really hard for him.

Waves to Mandy and Juanitad. Only 21 days now Mandy, how exciting!!

I have to confess that when I first got PG this time, I did pop over to an antenatal thread briefly, but there was so many ladies on there that it was very impersonal and even quite bitchy at times. It didn't have the "comfort blanket" type atmosphere that this place has. I think that's why I haven't moved off permanently. I wonder whether that's why all the other PG ladies stay too... This thread is non-judgemental and so friendly and supportive, it's really really helped me, particularly through the MC and the CVS/Amnio issues. So if you do move somewhere - just make sure we all know where!!

So anyway, thought I'd give you all a giggle. I had my first completely irrational sobbing fit on Saturday evening over the silliest thing. I decided to have Nachos for tea (something I love...) and DH had taken the dog out for a walk and I wanted it ready for when he got home. But I couldn't open the salsa jar. It took me ages and I was virtually crying with frustration, when I finally managed it. However, as it undid, the jar slipped from my hands and landed, right-side up on the floor with a bang. The salsa went EVERYWHERE!!! Believe me, I am not exaggerating!! It was on the ceiling, on the wall, on the fridge, all over the oven, all over the kitchen units, in my hair, in my eyes, all over my clothes, all over the floor, literally everywhere.

When DH got home, he found me stood in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by salsa, sobbing my heart out!!! But he was brilliant, he cleaned it all up, gave me a big hug and sent me upstairs for a shower while he finished the dinner. What a gem!! We can laugh about it now, but I didn't find it funny at the time!! What topped it off though, was that when we got out the sour cream and guacamole, the guacamole (that we'd bought fresh from Asda that morning) was off!! The plastic seal wasn't sealed!! So it was a bit of a disaster really!!

So, how many of you can see that you've colourfully decorated your kitchen with Salsa??!!

Hope everyone's Ok.

xxx

Good morning ladies

Don't worry MJIM I think yesterday got out of control, hormones a flying !!!! We musnt disband for all the reasons you mentioned, i find myself laughing out loud, crying & worrying too

HC FF can't detect any ovulation today, the red line has dissapeared !! Mind you, ive been taking my temp at lots of different times as DH has me up and down like a bloody yo-yo through night !!

Talking about DH....Hospital has just phoned, they want him in at 8am tomorrow to put him to sleep (not like the dog!!) and inject a local into his 'hip' bone and we will then find out what is to happen next...I hope they find a way to help, Dr Ions talked about fusing the femur to the pelvis, but this meens DH will never walk again yet he would never be in pain again !! What a dilema, emotions are running on an all time high in this house (bungalow).

As for me, im still getting craming and spots with bloody stress & lack of sleep !!!

Much love and lets keep chatting

D xx

Actually, before i go get my jama's on....lets just forget all this nonsense today, we need each other so much no matter who has got the BFP's and how many cycles it has taken, this is going to become childish if i we are not careful !!!!!

Now and then, those of us still trying need a little break from all the baby talk, but one day soon we can join in with that baby talk, and the shoe will be on the other foot, so lets just keep this fantastic thread going, we are all good friends on here....OK

much love

D xx

HC You can stalk me anyday hun, the clearblue has confused me now though, it didnt coincide with FF

D xx

Got the calculator out. i should change my stats to Cylcle 168 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If we didnt have a good few months off now and then for our sanity thats what it would be.

Aaaaagh....this is exactly what I didn't want to happen!

I know it's awful people talking about babies when you're ttc and it's taking ages ...

Really don't want anyone to leave.....

[wish I hadn't said anything now, I feel terrible)

Im having another feel sorry for me day !!!

And i often read things or take things the wrong way when feeling like that IYKWIM....

It has been a great thread BB but at the moment i dont feel like i belong here anymore and selfishly hate it (not you ladies)...Im now Cd11 on cycle 6, getting crampy aches so dont think im going to be pregnant again and i go for a CD21 blood test before we go to hospital to see the consultant, DH also has to do sperm test. We have'nt been to hospital for 2 years, so things might have changed, because we were classed as 'ok' and had time on our side we were always told to go away and try another year !!!! Im sick of been told to go away and try again, ive been trying for 14 god damn years, its no flippin wonder i loose control !!!!!

Need a brew before i bawl again

back soon BB, will also try other thread you said about xx

D xx