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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Broody at 22

32 replies

Lottielou · 21/03/2005 12:47

I am a fit and healthy 22 yr old in a strong relationsuip. The other week we (my finance and I) got onto the subject of starting a family. We are both in good jobs and have our own place.

Is 22 too young to start a family? We aren't married is that a bad thing?

Could really do with some advice on this. I am nearly 100% sure that i want to try for a baby but just need to think it through again and again! Any advice is more than welcome!

OP posts:
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maisystar · 21/03/2005 16:50

i had ds at 22, he is 4 1/2 now. i think any age can be great to have kids, but for me 22 was perfect, i didn't feel i was too young or couldn't cope. also when ds is 16 i will only be 38.

good luck

munnzieb · 21/03/2005 16:45

well lou, if u wanna join us on the TTC threads we're more than open to newbies! lol, good luck with the talk!

Toothache · 21/03/2005 16:42

Lottielou - How exciting for you!

My dd is only 7mths old and I'm broody already!!!

munnzieb · 21/03/2005 16:38

well i'm 23 and TTC, i'm married (have been for 2 years now.) been ttc for 10 months, it's brought us a lot closer actually, mainly Dh wanted to try at first, althou now were the same, it's up to you to do what feels right for you.

cat82 · 21/03/2005 16:29

Hi lottielou

I have a 10 month old dd and found out i was pg when i was 21 and am now 23. She wasn't planned but like you, i was in a stable relationship and had a good job (but actualy didn't enjoy it very much!) dp was/is in a very good job so when i found out and we talked about it decided to go for it and i'm so pleased we did (When i finaly got to tell him about it 4 weeks later when he got back from cycling over the Hymilayas- long story )
We're not married either and my family and his were fine about it, even though we do plan to marry at some point we're not engaged and, after all, some relationships can actualy be stronger than some marriages anayway! If you and he feel ready i say go for it.

Best of luck!!

Newbarnsleygirl · 21/03/2005 15:05

Hi LL

I was 20 when I got PG with my dd and was 21 when I had her. She's nearly 18 months now. Like you I was in a good job and had just had an interview for a promotion in to higher managment the day before it was confirmed I was pg.

I think the main thing is to be happy with the way your life is and if it' something you both want then go for it.

Good luck and keep taking that folic acid!

lunavix · 21/03/2005 15:02

I'm 21, me and dp had ds (unplanned!) when we were 20.

I always wanted children young, I want 4 kids before I'm 30, and while dp's family think I'm nuts I don't mind Me and dp are getting married in June, and I'm hoping to get pg again early this year .

I have no idea why it's frowned upon now to have children young, I think just as many people in their 30s aren't as ready as those in their 20s or earlier. It really really depends on you, and if you are sure - and your dp is! - then go for it!

Gem1355 · 21/03/2005 15:00

Thanx, it's made me a stronger person, but as i say if you both feel ready then why not! It'll be so exciting when it happens,i'm running out of patience as the waiting is getting to me!!1

x

Original poster
Lottielou · 21/03/2005 14:57

Gem - Sorry to hear the baby's father left and good on you being so excited bout it. I think you're right you know! Thank you.
Congrats on your baby and i hope all goes well for you! x

OP posts:
Gem1355 · 21/03/2005 14:12

Hi

I'm 22 and expecting my first baby in 2 weeks, and i'm single, baby wasn't expected and partner left when he found out, i think i'm at the right age to have this baby and so excited. If you feel ready then why not!

Hope all goes well for you.

Gem1355 · 21/03/2005 14:12

Hi

I'm 22 and expecting my first baby in 2 weeks, and i'm single, baby wasn't expected and partner left when he found out, i think i'm at the right age to have this baby and so excited. If you feel ready then why not!

Hope all goes well for you.

Original poster
Lottielou · 21/03/2005 14:07

Thanks to all of you that shared your views on this. When i get home this eve i will be talking to db and planning my first baby!
I have so many feelings, excitement, nerves... you name it i have it.
Fingers crossed it all goes well!
Thanks again girlies, it's very much appreciated!
x

OP posts:
huskygirl · 21/03/2005 13:38

hi lottielou,

i'm 23 and just had my first child, it think its a great age, you have plently of time to enjoy them, plenty of time to get back into shape (in my case i need 35+ years i reckon!! )plenty of time to have more and your in a strong relationship. As many others have said - there is no right time really, theres always something so if you feel ready go for it. I've been married for 4 years but to me would have made absolutely no difference than if we hadn't been. I do however think its a good thing that you live together, so you can share the load and share all the happy moments together. With regards to the job, its easy to try and think about it beforehand but you really do feel differently after the birth so dont set anything in stone and just go with the flow

dyzzidi · 21/03/2005 13:31

when it's right its right. Only the two of you know what is good for both of you

Original poster
Lottielou · 21/03/2005 13:29

oh thanks! lol

OP posts:
fastasleep · 21/03/2005 13:27

22? That's old that is!

sweetheart · 21/03/2005 13:27

sounds like you have the perfect foundation to have a happy family!!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Original poster
Lottielou · 21/03/2005 13:15

well we have known each other for near 5 years and have been 'together' for nearly 2 years, we only got engaged at new year and moved in togtehr on Jan but he is definately the man i want to share the rest of my life with and i cudn't imagine having a baby with anyone else.
i know that sounds mushy but it's just how i feel!

OP posts:
Socci · 21/03/2005 13:12

Message withdrawn

dyzzidi · 21/03/2005 13:10

Hi Lottie I'm 27 and have been ttc for a couple of years now. I am having to have IVF. If I am honest I have always been broody and have always loved children . I have been taking folic acid but i take mine in a multivitamin as it save me taking two!

Have youand your Partner been together long?

Toothache · 21/03/2005 13:07

Lottielou - My DH and I decided to try for a baby when I was 22. We weren't married either. We actually put off our wedding until after ds was born. I knew I wanted a baby... I was just waiting for DH to say he was ready too. Within 2 mths of deciding to try..... I was pregnant!

We got married when ds was old enough to walk down the aisle with us (he was 2 when we got married).

I'm 27 now and had my 2nd baby in August last year.

You're not too young... you are at a perfect age. You sound like you've planned this really well and are both ready. So go for it!!!!

floppsy · 21/03/2005 13:05

Its not a bad thing,but personally i didn't .I got a night job so dh could look after them,i was worried about the things i would miss,this way ididn't miss anything.There is new laws about maternity leave,you could extend it untill the baby is 1 then you might feel better about leaving it at nursery.

sweetheart · 21/03/2005 13:04

Lots of women do it so don't feel bad. Is there any chance you could negotiate going back part time???

My dd went to a childminder rather than a nursery. I liked the fact she has a relationship with the woman who looks after her rather than being in a group of children with various different carers.

I know everyone is different though and the social aspect of a nursery is also great.

NomDePlume · 21/03/2005 13:03

No, as a parent you do what works for you and your family. If that means returning to work and placing him/her in a secure, friendly, warm and encouraging day nursery environment when you return to work, then so be it.

Mothers in general are given enough things to feel guilty about, we can't really win in the eyes of those in the mood for passing judgement - working mums 'neglect their kids' and SAHMs are 'lazy, layabouts' .

SeaShells · 21/03/2005 13:01

If you think it through too much, you'll always find a reason to wait. I had ds at 18 and wasn't in a good position at all, but have never regretted it, when you have a baby, everything falls into place, and of cause lots of new problems arise!

Sounds as though you're as ready as you could ever be to try for a baby, taking enough folic acid in preperation would be a good idea.

Good luck