The WIMBEWAI(N)F Club

hello there!

i am about too. Sorry for the lack of communication. I was stuffed at work and then busy all weekend/

MrsH - PMSL at scoffing the salami and the cheese stuffed chillis. YUM! what better thime to enjoy your food when you are PG That's great that you are sorted out with the private midwife - do you know what hospital you are going to yet? Hope the monring sickness is easing off. Did you get it badly last time?

ei - how is work with you? Did you sort out the blood test in the end. I hoep you are feeling better form last week.

caitni - that's really sensible of you to meet HR to discuss your IVF and time off. MrsH will correct me if I am wrong, but i am sure there is case law which says that you have to permit peopel the time off for IVF and cannot discriminate (good to know in uncretain economic times). I was surprised how little time off you need and how easy it is to get on with your daily life. I think that's because all scans and blood tests seem to be scheduled at 7.00am (on the NHS), so its tough to get out of bed, but it doesn't interfere with the office nearly as much as I thought. I was lucky though and didn't have too much trouble with side effects from the drugs. Have you decided on timing for yoru first cycle or a hospital yet? It's good you are getting yoruself in the zone.

Bucky - don't be stressed at work. Come and post all your troubles here Let's do lunch later in the week

I called the private clinic last Friday and I have an appointment on 7th April with the consultant at Hammersmith Hospital and we'll take it from there. I am so pleased we are getting the ball rolling again and I think DH is too. He and I have been getting on brilliantly recently and we are so ready to try again. I know some people want a break, but we are sure we are doign the right thing. It looks like my cycle is getting back on track - I got EWCM yesterday, so I am very pleased and think that makes me about 14 days out of kilter. Old habits die hard, so knowing I had EWCM, I pounced on DH last night.....even if we can't manage any DBs the old fashioned way

hello to everyone else I have missed

GGx

Hello all

Sorry I haven't been around much. I am waiting for my all day morning sickness to bugger off and in the meantime find looking at the computer for long a bit of a trial!

Bucky why so cross? Is it work or something more important? (you can see how I feel about work now I don't have any!...)

GG Have you called the clinic yet? Are you feeling ok? Any sign of that egg?

Caitni I hop things are ok, that the guests left without outstaying thir welcome and that you are managing to get your head out of TTC mode as much as you need.

Ei no, you are not the only one around. How are things with you? where are you in your cycle?

Are you around, PnM and MOB?

Not a lot going on here. I sit around on my vastly expanding bum and every so often think of some bizarre food that I haven't eaten in years but which I must have NOW. You know, pickled onions, Herta frankfurters, minty flavour Matchmakers, refreshers, pot noodles, peanut butter etc. I bought a year's supply of cheese-stuffed chilis as the Ally Pally farmers' market and ate them with a whole packet of wafer thin salami. Oh the shame. Not surprisingly I am feeling a little bloated!! Today my left nip started tweaking in exactly the same way it did when I had a let-down reflex. It's all a bit disgusting really... Am booking at the hospital this week and then have my nuchal scan thingy next week. Private midwife is coming round to book me into her system on Wednesday, and so it is all go. Now I just need to concentrate on how this thing is going to get out of my delicate fanny. Eeek!

hi ladies
where is everyone?? having a life i suppose i must e the only one to not have one
hope all is well
xx ei xx

Afternoon ladies

GG glad to hear your DH has been so good about the private route. Sounds like Hammersmith is an excellent choice as you already know the drill . Sorry to hear you're busy at work but at least it helps with time passing...

MrsH great that you've sorted out a private midwife as it will so help get over teh memories of your ECS with your dd. I think I'd be tempted to do the same, even without a horrible experience, as I am always so when I hear of women in labour who don't see the same midwife twice etc etc

Bucky poor you and your work stress. Sounds like they're working you way too hard! Moan away as that's what we're hear for

Ei hope you shifted that headache. We're nearly cycle buddies I think so I'll be wishing the luck of the Oirish on you for you to get lucky this month (especially as your DD was born Jan 8 wasn't she? I'm not your stalker btw it just that's my DH's birthday too, and Elvis's and David Bowie's, so if you conceive this month it would make Xmas/New Year even more of a party time in your household ).

Waves to PnM and MOB and everyone. Hope everyone's in good form.

This was supposed to be just a quick from me as am busy busy both at work and with various people staying at the moment so not much time for t'internet in the day or at night. Am also trying to keep my distance from MN as need to get out of ttc mode (as cannot be dealing with the depressed feelings I had after AF arrived again last week) and into facing IVF reality mode (so have arranged a meeting with HR to discuss how to handle getting time off etc and am going to book in for some hormone bloods at the start of the next cycle).

caitni xx

hello ei - how ar eyou doing? Any more news abotu the blood tests and getting time off?

I haven't called the IVF people yet. I have been a bit swamped at work and get no bloomin' privacy round here to do it in working hours, but I'll call tomorrow.

Bucky - don't worry about moaning!! What's up? Being worked too hard?

whats up bucky? rant away if you need to
xx ei xx

I'm here but I am not saying anything because I am only capable of moaning and whining today .

im about GG
not up to much just trying ton shift this horrible headache ive had all day DH ran me a bath and im off to bed in a bit so hopefully il be right as rain tomorrow
how did your phone call go about the private IVF?
xx ei xx

coooo eeee! anyone about?

Hey everyone, just dropping in. I am soooooooo stressed I could die. . I really thought I could sit on my arse for a couple of years till the crunch was over but they are working me like a dog . No time for MN .

GG glad you feel more positive now you can consider going private. You just need to do what is best for you. I agree hearing what the consultant has to say at your May appointment is probably a good idea as you can go private that month anyway should you choose. My cycle went back to normal after the November debacle straight away but even though the BFP was after AF was due, I guess it was a CP. The later MC was a little different, ov was a little later but not massively...I usually ov around CD16 and it was maybe around CD20.

Nothing to report here. I am so shattered, and now have socialised with more architects that I could have ever wished to have known. TTC seems like a distant memory, far from reality. My appointment is coming up in a few weeks though it will be weird. I saw an article on IVF and birth defects which totally freaked me out so now I am questioning everything. . But you all know by now that I am the world's worst overthinker....

Anyway, I was just dropping by and wanted to send you higs. Hope you are all doing good today. xx

MrsH - yes, i think we could go private now. I'm going to phone up and see what they say. I have to wait for two AF's to do anything and that will take me to mid/end of May, followed by a wait before starting the drugs at CD21, so there is no time advantage and I'd like to hear what the consultant has to say at least.

Discussing it with DH last night, we'd probably stick with Hammersmith because (apart from the interminable bl**dy waiting) we have been happy there. It is convenient, the staff are fantastic. Costs wise, it looks fairly reasonable and reassuringly transparent. I am going to check out UCH too, but I'm a little worried about changing horses, which may mean new tests/more time/more costs/more confusion. Looking at the Lister website, we'd have to do everything all over again.

GG just so you know, there is nothing to stop you from going private now. If you call up the private people and explain the situation, they may agree to see you now with a view to starting things again when you have had the requisite number of normal cycles. Although I guess 7 May is not that far away, and might be before 2 cycles have passed (keep forgetting we're at the end of March already).

I am still looking for a job (have an interview tomorrow morning) but if I don't find anything decent in the next 2 months I will have to give up I think, since then my condition will be obvious.

I'm planning a hospital birth at the whittington, but want private midwives to ensure continuity of care and to be my safety net while I labour at home. When I had DD at QC my experience was truly dreadful - I never saw the same person twice, the midwives were taciturn and all they did was look at the monitors and frighten me. They intervened all over the place and I ended up with a (dreaded) section which was probably the cause of my ectopics. Anything to get me out of that system this time!

Right, DD and I are off to the shops, so apologies for the me post, and I'll be back later to check on you all.

MrsH - having a private midwife sounds like a fantastic idea. Have you settled on a hospital or birthing centre for the birth (assumign it's not a home birth you are planning? )? I know from reading your posts that you had a pretty awful experience and a traumatic time on the NHS with the birth of your DD, so good for you. have you now given up on job hnting for the moment or are you still looking?

Thank you for your advice about normalisation of cycles. I don't think I have ovulated yet (although i haven't been POAS to confirm wither way). Whatever happens it will be a waiting game.

caitni - wooooo hoooo about the fantastic Ireland Grand Slam win!!! (The less said about Scotland's performance against England, the better ) I hope you had a lovely weekend of celerbration and are now fully recovered. I hope you are feeling less down - don't worry about moaning here because that is what we are here for and I completely understand how you can feel like a failure because we have to resport to assisted conception. but don't - because you are not and you won't care one iota when you have your baby how it was conceived . ((((higs)))))). Oh, and I have started to follow your Mr Needles advice and I have been slogging my way through 2 litres of water a day, although is it just me or do you find that you are actually thirstier drinking that much?!

Bucky - is it quieter at work with you now? What is happening with your cycle this month?

PnM - our resident fashion advisor i might have to set you loos eon eBay to find me a perfect dress for weddings. How long until your sister's wedding? Are you feeling less hormonal.

MOB - if you are looking in, I hope to DTs are well and not kicking you too much! have you got a big bump?

Big wave to anyone else. Ei - are you out there ior is work keeping you busy?

I got the letter from Hamersmith hospital yesterday and my "you will get the first available consultant's appointment because you are priority" type appointment is on......Thursday 7th May It's only after that, that we get put back into the pool, so months of waiting. I got pretty depressed last night and called DH (he's in Munich) to tell him and the first thing he said was "We'll have to go private. We can't wait another six months. We'll use that appointment for a referral to the private wing and go from there as soon as it is clinically possible". So no more waiting for GG to have cycle #2 of IVF . I am thrilled because i really thought DH would argue that we should use up our "free" goes on the NHS first and I feel strongly that I can't wait any more. I still have to get through two AF's and a consultant's appointment though, but somehow it feels easier now.

In the meantime, I was wondering whether there is anything i should be doing (other than the usual health and wellbeing stuff)

Happy Tuesday everyone.

GGx

Hi ladies

A quickie for GG because I have a private midwife coming over for a chat (hee hee!).

I don't have a chart for my first ectopic, and the situation was a bit odd because of the drugs terminating the pregnancy over time, but from when my HCG was at non-pregnant levels I think it took about 5 weeks for me to ovulate (I normally ov on days 15-18). With the second ectopic I ovulated on day 22 after my HPT turned negative.

I think the CP I had last year is probably the most similar to your circumstances and with that one I ovulated on day 24, so late again, and EWCM did not really appear until day 18. I was on holiday and travel can mess up my cycle but this was more extreme than that. It does go back to normal, but your body needs to reset itself and I figure it can take it a bit of time to realise that you are no longer pregnant. Just relax (please don't slap me for saying that!), it will happen but this first cycle can be an odd one...

BBL, hope everyone is ok.

helo ladies!

Caitni - have you come back down to earth yet aftr the rugby win? What an exciting match - hope you enjoyed it in style in London Fields Don't worry about feeling down round here - that is what we are here for. MrsH is right when she says your baby will not care how he or she was conceived. Please don't beat yourself up about not being able to have a baby without assistance.

Bucky - hope it is quieter again at work for you. Did you hve a nice weekend? I am looking at a mega busy week, but DH is away (again) so I have the evenings free to put up my feet or catch up with friends, which is nice although i find myself a lot cling-ier than before. Think it is because the m/c etc happened when he was away.

Can I ask you Bucky and MrsH what happened to your cycles after you had a miscarriage and the ectopics? I don;t have any fo the usual cycle symptoms at all - no EWCM, no breast tenderness. Nada. I know it takes a while for everything to settle back down, but the absence of anything feels very odd after all the ups and downs of TTC and IVF

hello to PnM, MOB and everyone else. Ei hope you are ok - big wave to you. Does anyone have any exciting news?

morning ladies

Big sore head here...as I too discovered wine and fags last night ...so am now nearly ready to face the world again...time to hit crouch end to buy my niece's birthday present (she's turning two!) before some London Fields and rugby time (c'mon Ireland!).

Sorry for being down yesterday. Feeling much brighter today. And thanks to you all for kind words. MrsH I really loved your reminder that being a parent is about so much more than how a baby was conceived. I look forward to a time when we're all parents and all of this is a distant memory .

No time to reply individually other than to wish all the mothers a very happy mother's day tomorrow. Hope you all get spoiled rotten .

PS Bucky so sorry you lost your shopping. I've definitely been there and done things like that too. Still, a chance to buy even more nice things!

OMG I just did it AGAIN ...I'm going...

Just realised I managed to make everyone's stuff about me in that post . Geez, I am self consumed.

BTW, PnM loving the accessorising, you should give us lessons. Sounds very Patricia Fields if you ask me and I love SATC.

Hey girliwhirlies

Absolutely nada happening here, but thought I would drop by and say hi. I am been the busier than a really busy person this week at work. Its quite a shock to my system! I was so tired last night I turned down a night out .

PnM Glad you got the dress . Wish I had a wedding to go to! I suppose the fact that I am 100 years older than the rest of you can be blamed for the fact most of my friends are already married! Either that or they've already got divorced .

Caitni . Sorry TEW was an old cowbag and turned up again. Glad you have found stuff that you feel works for you though. I just found wine and fags , so you are to be commended.

MrsH Its nice to have you back off hols. Hope the sickness passes quickly.

GG Lets try the lunch thing again this week, although I really don't know what happened at work, how I got so busy?

Bucky waves to Ei, akilli (nice to have someone new on the thread, welcome) and MOB. Cracking open the Next Directory now...I have to replace the stuff I bought yesterday and then left on the platform at Paddington station ...I'm such a drongo.

Caitni It's good that you are finding acupuncture so helpful. There can be a strong emotional element and on occasion I have found it quite a lot like counselling. Mr Needles once parked a box of tissues within my reach because apparently it is common for the needles to make you emotional after surgery. Strange, huh? I do understand your feelings about IVF (even though I haven't had it, going to the clinic gave me a taste), since going for it means admitting that something isn't right. But fortunately being a parent is about a whole load of things way more important than simply how a child is conceived (as I am sure you know well) and hopefully you'll find it all easier now you have some real-life support.

PnM I am very glad you got the dress. You sound very imaginative - I only ever wear clothes how they come out of the bag! And yay for the red shoes getting another outing. That book sounds like dross. Go on, tell us what it is if only to save us from choosing it. (BTW if it is total cack I have probably already read it!!)

GG I know it is weird wishing cycles would pass (I had to do that after first ectopic and it was strange...) but you'll find that they go by pretty quickly. One thing that may happen is that your first one is slightly longer. I found that I ovulated about a week later after my CP. Of course you might just as easily have a totally normal cycle but I just wanted to let you know that it might be a tad different.

MOB I hope the hospital is managing to help with your SPD. That does sound like a nightmare - are you still going to work?

Welcome to Akilli. May your stay here be a short one.

Higs to Bucky and ei. It's a shame not to have had any BFPs this month as there were lots of promising symptoms around, but regardless I am sure that you will all get your BFPs in the end. I am absolutely certain you'll all be lovely mothers.

Not much going on here. I am still feeling sick, especially in the afternoon and evening (although no puking yet). Today I have booked a meeting with a private midwife as I had a pretty bad time with the NHS last time. She sounds really nice and I am looking forward to having someone consistent with me through this pregnancy and the birth (if not to the bill!).

PnM meant to add that I actually x posts with you as the open plan office is that open plan that I started my post at 2pm . And now I'm really logging off!

PnM two things: yay that the dress arrived! And red killer heels sound like the PERFECT shoes to compliment it! I doff my imaginary hat to your superior accessorizing skills

Just a quick post from me ladies, as AF arrived properly today...feel so stupid for even getting my hopes up . Anyway, am going to have a super busy weekend in an attempt to take my mind off things .

GG my DH is still sceptical about the needles...he says it helps him relax, which he's pretty sh*t at, but that the cost of it annoys him...still, tonight's his last one before he moves on to one session every 3/4 weeks so he should stop moaning about the cost now . I had to railroad him into it though, as I need him to be involved in this preparation for IVF in a tangible way or I think I'd go a bit mad . My own crazy 5 element acupuncture's going well. It's totally different from the TCM type Mr Needles does (and my DH does). I'm apparently in very good health, and my pulses respond well to the treatment, but I've had an emotional block as I've really struggled at times with the sadness and sense of failure I feel about IVF. I'm sure every couple who does IVF feels similar things (why us? etc) but that didn't stop me feeling quite down about it for a quite a while. Even sitting here at work it can bring tears to my eyes (damn hormones!). Still, the acupuncture's helping and, on the advice of my acupuncturist, I decided to tell my sister and my closest female friends about it (they all knew we were ttc and I feel better with them knowing). And my temps this month have been really good and stable, with a proper 13 day luteal phase with no spotting. So I think the water & needles combo is working for me .

Anyway, sorry for this as that's way more of a me me post than I expected. I'm in a different office today and am sitting next to my line manager (we usually don't sit next to each other) so my internetting has been severely curtailed!

Happy friday to everyone

The book has been ceremonially chucked GG and a new one bought - can't be without a book - have discovered I've lost the power of sleeping at night so need something to keep me occupied at 3 in the morning

It must be kinda weird waiting and actually willing your next period, nay, two periods to come and go.

How are you going to get fit this weekend? My friends and dh have gone barging (on a boat, not some weird [there's that word again] extreme sport undertaken best in Ikea on a Sunday afternoon ) but I am not joining them (mixture of financial plus work related reasons) so I feel the need to do something vaguely resembling exercise at some point.

The sunflower dress turned up this morning - tis lovely actually. Thought it horrendous when I took it out the packaging but have tweaked it (black silk sash around middle, wrap around cardi in white and broderie anglaise underskirt to puff it out a little) think will go with red killer heels (a la navy and cream spot dress worn last year - good memory btw! true SATC peep toes).

Am far too materialistic

p.s. picknmix - i would go for some real contrast shoes with that lovely sunflower dress - high and colourful and really fun! Well done for wining the bid. i need to get on ebay too.