Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

Here Ray have a hanky and a hug.
re getting names mixed up - sorry.
Baby dust to you and pinkie (any evryone else too of ocurse!) I am on CD5 so am inspired by your activity - DH wont know whats hit him

Hi Guys,

Badknees, my friend had the tests and there was nothing wrong but they tried the pprogestrone and it worked so check it out, the thing is unless you push on the NHS you dont get a thing and surley its worth a try the next time you get PG.

DD is back at school today and have to go and pick her up there is a Mum that is Pg and i realy dont want to see her, she tried for 2 yrs and i was realy happy for her when she fell but then she started with ' if its twins i wont cope i didnt sign up for that' and ' if theres anything wrong will get rid of it couldnt cope with that' what a cow i was thinking how bloody lucky she was to fall just be bloody grateful or i'll hit you. anyway cant deal with her so may just ignore her or shell be talking about scans etc.

I had a dream last noght that i was PG, i was a few days late and did a test it was a realy strong BFP and i was so happy, teeling everyone and remember thinking ' this feels great what a great feeling knowing you're Pg' it was so so so real and then i had to go and wake up, why the hell does life do that or the brain for that matter give you alittle taster and then take it away.

Not having a good day today can you tell, convinced it hasnt worked but the feeling i had in my dream is still with me and i want it to be real. BOO HOO.

Hello Ray81, Thanks for that, I've had pretty much every test going, nothing obviously wrong, although when preg with DD1 they finally worked out I have 2 wombs & cervix which can complicate things a little!! On a negative note I tend to think I've got 2 and can't get preg in either not for longer than a couple of weeks anyway.
I developed rheumatoid arthritis 6 wks after DD1 was born so the drugs for that meant I could'nt have the aspirin (which I had for DD1)but have stopped those drugs now so will check out if I can take it now.

To everyone, thank you all for making me realise as alone as I feel, I'm not. Whilst it stinks that we're all in this boat its always good know you are not alone, especially with those 'bad' emotions us women are not supposed to express to other females.

Fingers crossed for all those waiting. I usually find decorating or shopping distracting at this point!!

Hi ontheup ray

I am on cd25 (usually 28 days maximum 34 but that was ages ago)today and bded from day11 to day18 with a+ive OPK on day14. The Sperm meets egg plan says to HPT 15 days later so am trying to hold out til Saturday.

have bought a CD digital test and left it in boot of car so have to make effort to get it in the am (am usually too desperate to pee) to do this.

Hopefully this will push me to wait.

I have been having acupuncture, had one on fri which was bizarre sensation and am going on Wednesday this week. Hopefully it will encourage the potential bean to stick. (wishful thinking on my part.)

Have also found that last month with the clomid i didnt have any spotting on the run up to my AF just light on CD28 then full on CD29. So the fact no spotting or splodges today am trying not to get excited. Infact trying very hard not to sympton spot as the clomid mimics so many pg symptoms.

Baby dust to you both.

Ontheup.

Its me that bd 17 times and have not had acupunture, just imagine what it would be like if i did he he.
We have one of those moulding beds so springs not a problem although must say am abit sore (sorry tmi. I'm just hoping it has worked though!!!!

Also with regards to your previous message, when i had my first MC 8 months later i had a call from the health visitor saying ' your babies due next week just wanted to get intouch and arrange a meeting' i told her that id MC and then hung up and burst into tears. what a joke the NHS is ay i was trying so hard to forget and then that happens life is a bitch.

OMG [Pinkie] 17!!!!!!! I was hoping my acupuncture will give me added energy but that's ridiculous - I hope you have strong bed springs!

Hi guys,

Pinkspook, Oh dear about the hand that cant be good, how is it feeling now ? how are you feeling now?

Wook, i think you did pretty well to last as long as you did the other day, now me i would have broken down at the first punch (thats what its like). I have a friend who is nearly 10 weeks with DC2 she has DD1 who is 2 i went to DD1 party yesterday and of course they are talking about how early she is showing and could it be twins??? if it is a think i may kill her i cant get PG with one let alone fecking 2, and all the while i'm sat there smiling and people are giving me those sympathtic looks and handing my babies to hold ( as if that makes up for it ) and i just want to sit in the corner and cry and shout 'why not me, why you, what have you done differently to me ' this applies to you top Lilapink i know exactly how you feel to infact ive taken to seeing PG women in the street and wanting to hit them how awful is that!!!

Badkness,

Hi yes do join the party the more the merrier, or not as the case may be. I'm so sorry for all your losses and please dont lie under a bus !!! it wont help!! although may take your mind off it.
If you tell me who these people are that are telling you 'at least you know it can happen' i will hit them for you, how inconsiderate, thats the problem with people they just dont understand that its not only the getting PG thats the problem its carrying to term too they just take it for granted that it happens quickly for everyone and just dont have a clue.
8 Mc is alot are they carrying out any investigations, my friend had 6 before she had her first and they gave her Progestrone pesarries as soon as they new and it helped her carry her 2 DDs, she also took an aspirin too i dont know if they've tried this for you but may be worth asking if they havent.

Pinkie,

CD 25 now how long are you cycles, i am quite excited for you and i so hope that it has worked for you this month . me and DH bd 17 times this month so hoping thats done the trick but knowing me it wouldnt have and i'll be doing it all over again next month. Im on CD 20 of a 33 day i think so have 12 days to go god does that feel like a lifetime.
Anyway being made redundant at the end of this month so hoping the job hunting will take my mind off all this TTC. Will have to wait and see.

Please kep me updated i am dying to know if its worked for you i realy am.

Please let me join the drinks party, to use a previous analogy, I was at the bus stop, had the right money and was allowed on only to be kicked off shortly afterwards. Ok it was only a short ride and very bumpy but feeling like I should find a real bus to go and lie under. I know people have worse things happen etc etc but for the minute I feel like shit and if anyone else tells me 'well at least you know it can happen, I might just hit them'. I've known it can happen 8 times now, I'm eternally grateful for my one success but this is still hell like. Don't even know if I can face telling the gp just to get it formalised. Need some company in my misery pit, any takers?

Hi, I wrote before and still in agreement: still feel jeolous, and feel bad for feeling jeolous.

I'm preparing myself to hear about 3 more preg (i.e. know 3 TTC). Seems daft as they're in the same boat as me, but I'm waiting for feedback re. molar preg, and I'm already scared I'll have to do that 'oh how lovely face' when they tell me (and while they drop in 'after only a few months trying too...'), while I'll be thinking I ahould be pregnant and telling you!

I hate feeling this way. I think I've only had one MMC, could try again (if not molar preg), and have dd, but still deep down feel jeolous!

I've got passed seeing a few babies now, but can't believe I'm actually jeolous of friends who may now have dc2s when I would have had one, or anytime before I may have a dc2, or I may see them have dc2s and never have another one. This is the only place I feel safe enough to admit this, haven't even said on other threads how jeolous I am, feel like a complete bi!ch! Even worse as I think they would be happy for me, but following ERPC I couldn't be for them at moment (wouldn't wish them harm, but would be really ).

Just realised I can't spell hallowe'en

wook you're right - it's grief and grief does pop out at the wierdest times. My baby would have been due next week and I remember thinking wouldnt it be great it (s)he was born on Haloween becasue its my mother's birthday (she died a couple of years ago) - and now its Haloween and I'm sitting with a glass of wine and AF. I cry at the strangest things and it's my grief valve letting off, my own personal pressure cooker. I raise my glass to you and the other ladies here...

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH
Phew. Just needed to get that out of my system.
Today... saw ds's best friend and his mum in the morning- ds and her ds are the same age, have known each other since they were a few weeks old. She has two days left before dc2 arrives. That was OK, just wished it was me and felt sad for ds.
On way home saw friend from a baby group, all of whom are currently pregnant with no 2 except me. She got pg the a week after me but I miscarried at 9 wks. She had just been for her twenty week scan and was a little disappointed about sex of the baby. That was OK too, though obviously it reminded me that this week I would have had my twenty week scan too.
This pm went to see another friend, a colleague who has a 3 month old. Chatted a bit about her return to work etc. As I was leaving she breezily said (about work) 'Oh well, it doesn't matter cause we're planning to pop another one out asap so we can give dd the little brother or sister she needs'
And THAT's the one that finished me off!!!!
It's true, it is grief- and grief works in very odd ways, just seems to be hanging below the surface all the time, then one tiny thing lets it out.
Some wine now I think!!

Hi Ray

I am on CD22 and its hell counting the days down is just horrid. I do what you do, why should it be this month etc etc it never has been before. But on the positive side it has to be our turn soon

The other side of it is that with doing the sperm meets egg plan and the acupuncture and the clomid we got to be hedging our bets surely.

Be strong and think about all that bding you did round the right days it has to help and remember in normal circumstances its 25% chance each cycle. On climid it goes to 50% and the plan suggests 40% so we both got to be getting our odds up.

Lots of baby dust to you

Thanks ray - just to add insult to injury (actually injury to insult LOL!) I have cut my han d open this morning (by acident - not quite slitting wrists yet!) and have had to have my hand all bandaged up anyone else care to join us?

Hi pinkspook,

You carry on with your self indulgent party honey, you have the right to have one or several if you wish and are we all invited cos could do with a few drinks to drown sorrows also.

Thats shit that DH wont get any money i hope he gets a job quickly though. im sure he will (trying to be positive for you ) although i am quite aware that if i was in your situation i would be feeling the same and probably not coping as well as you either.
You are doing well give yourself lots of credit for that and lots of virtual hugs your way and just remeber when you hit rock bottom the onlyway is Up.
I'm off to church tonite, i'm not a high religous person but will try and have a word with the man upstairs while i'm there.
Just another little thing i'm not sure if you have had clomid but you can get it from the internet, i know its not recommended but if you are at your wits end it may halp you feel like your doing something and its not that expense either.

Hi Pinkie,

How are you doing? are you feeling positive about the clomid this month? where are you in cycle i forget !!! memories crap. I am now on CD18 only another 15 days to go!!! ONLY jesus that sounds like a lifetime. I'm kinda on a bit of a downer and convincing myself it hasnt worked. Why should it it hasnt until now, i think it may be a self presifation thing so i'm not to devasted when Af arrives but is getting me down already feeling like this all the time i hate it.
Anyway come on i need some good news when are you due ?

Thanks guys for trying to pull me out of my self indulgent little pity party! I know things could be worse but i think I was just holding it together to cope with the not being able to get pregnant shit, then the no money, probably lose our house shit, bit me on the ass and the whole house of cards came tumbling down.

fifi08 - I am pinkmook and pinkspook! Pinkspook is my halloween "outfit" LOL!

He will not get very much redundancy (not even enough to pay half of one months mortgage)as he has only been there a short time (ironically he moved there as his old company kept laying people off - he works in manufacturing)

I am just all out of positive spirit and determination at the moment

hi pinkspook,

ray's right.. down let this beat you.. you're better and stronger and tougher than this.. it's not the end.. it's not over yet..you feel beaten today but look how far you've come.. imagine if someone told you the future a few years ago.. you'd have thought you wouldn't be able to survive the first few months..never mind a year or two of it.. but you have.. give yourself credit for that.. i know it feels like life keeps pulling it's pants down and crapping on your doorstep ..usually just as you've managed work up to scrubbing the last delivery away..and i know the longer all this goes on the easier it is to believe the worst as you pass all the anniversaries and get increasingly serious feedback from doctors..i've been trying to look back through the thread and piece your story together but i'm getting confused with you and pinkmook! i was getting some counselling cause i was pretty much gaga over the summer and it really started to help but i had to stop cause i couldn't afford it..£40 for 40 mins! i'm so so sorry about your recent news about your DHs redundancy.. as Ray said hopefully with redundancy payment and a quick return to work things might take a turn for the better.. you know the worst part of times like this it's having to go on with life.. you think this time it REALLY REALLY bad .. it's the tipping point it's the bottom of the pit.. you think it's SO serious i need someone to step in and take control here cause i can't do this by myself anymore.. why should i?? i'm going to GO MENTAL here and maybe if i just DO then someone will finally acknowledge that i've had more than any person can be expected to deal with...and NOT GO CRAZY!!!! but you have to go on.. you have to keep going cause we're all grown ups now and that's what grown ups do.. i never thought being a grown up could suck so much... we do hear you pinkspook and we know how hard this is and how much guts it took for you to get out of bed and brush your teeth this morning.. i don't really know what's going on with God and stuff.. he's certainly not been returning my calls, but i said a prayer for you last night ...
xx

Sorry 'Afford' treatment !!!

Hi Guys,

Had some bad news one of my collegues has died this morning, she was 27 with no children and had cancer.

Kind of puts my troubles into perspective at least i'm alive and have my health.

Pinkspook, Honey i am so sorry that all your plans have been put on hold that is shit and understand the wanting to curl up and never move again. What you need is a room full of china and a baseball bat, alternatively go to your bedroom get your pillow and scream as loud as you can into it then throw it around the room. Its doesnt make you feel completely alright but does help to relieve some of the anger, well it works for me sometimes so may be worth a try.
I do know the feeling of hopelessness and i will keep my fingers crossed for you that things pick up. I can sympathise with the redunancy thing as i am being made redunant and leave in 4 weeks, its very scary. On the positive side i will get a nice amount of money to tide us over and if i can get a job sooner then we may be able to avoid some sort of treatment. Will you DH not get any redunancy money?

In a word... Shit.

all my plans have fallen apart. Cant do IUI, cant accupuncture, cant do anything but try and survive. Am the voice of doom today. Looks like we wont be able to have any more children thanks to the credit crunch. Just want to curl up and never move again

right on ontheup! get that girl a throne and crown. how are you today pinkspook?

pinkspook for President

Hi Fifi

I know what you mean about all of it. But just to go on what you were saying about the book and the window of opportunity.

Both Ray and I have been following the sperm meets egg plan which suggests everyother day before your +ive on OPK and then every day for 3 then miss a day then start everyother again.

I guess in theory this would help that window of opportunity. This month after starting the every other day on day 6 DH got all spontaneous on the "wrong" morning didnt dare say no as NEVER spontaneous anymore and we had no gap between day 12 and day 14 +ive OPK so am hoping this is good

I find even my mum who really tries doesnt even get it and whatever anyone says we all seem to interpret it wrong and i always walk away thinking "what do you know you got pg immediately"

Anyway

Great few posts so thanks

Baby dust to all

Ray81 thanks loads for replying to my earnest message....truely appreciate you response. thanks again.... best of luck to you xxx

fifi08 you have a fantastic way with words

Right, now I need to rant....(said in whiny voice, breaking into a sob)...where is my fucking bus!? I am so unhappy today > Just found out last night that DH is probably going to be made redundant in the next few weeks (thanks bankers you credit crunch bringing bastards) so my plans for accupuncture and the next steps we were about to take with IUI will probably not happen.

I am so sad and angry and terrified and feel almost out of control rage that just when I had come to terms with probably needing assisted conception, this comes along and rips even that away from me

Why is this happening (I dont expect an answer to that just wanted a rant)

I want to go to the top of a hill and scream and cry in to to the wind